The Imperfection of Swans (18 page)

“That will never happen again. I promise. It was totally unprofessional of me.”

“Oh, come on.” Casper glanced over, trying to ease the strain. “It wasn’t unprofessional. You didn’t do it in the middle of business hours or anything. And you didn’t know I was there.”

“Yes, I did. We’d already talked about it.”

“Well, right, but you didn’t think about me being there.”

Another long pause. “You can bring Brent there as payback if you want. Though, I absolutely refuse to watch that happen. Oh Lord. I bet you already have. Shit.” Kevin flailed his hand about in front of his eyes. Casper couldn’t tell if he was teasing or not. “I can’t quit seeing it! I can’t quit seeing it!”

“Okay. Now you stop.”

Kevin chuckled. “Well, I am sorry. That… at the shop… wasn’t my idea.”

“Didn’t look like you were complaining.” Casper felt another surge of angry jealousy. “Not that I blame you. I didn’t even see the guy’s face, but I could tell every part of him is gorgeous. No wonder you’re willing to give him a second chance.”

“Yeah, well….”

They were almost to the lighting store before Casper spoke again. “So, I’ve been kind of thinking, if you wouldn’t mind, how would you feel about me officially moving into the apartment? I could take what I’m paying in rent and put it toward our mortgage instead.”

Kevin didn’t hesitate. “I kinda figured you would. I was already thinking that when we get the floors redone, we might as well do the apartment. Better than having to do it later and them lugging all the equipment through the dress shop and bakery. That could really disrupt business.”

Risking another glance from the road, Casper grinned at Kevin. “Seriously? You don’t mind?”

“Nope. Honestly, it would feel better to have it all done. It would make my mind go a little nuts knowing the space was unfinished when the other two levels are perfect. It would just nag at me.”

“That would be amazing. Thank you!”

“Don’t you want to wait until we have a water heater and shower and stuff?”

“I’ll make do. I just want to be out of that apartment.” Another look away from the road. “Thank you, Kevin. I really appreciate it.”

Kevin just shrugged.

“Are you sure you don’t want to keep the place as a sex den for your blond porn star?” Why was he joking about that again?

“Oh, please shut up.”

SHOPPING FOR
lighting was actually fun. Both he and Kevin reverted to acting like kids in a candy store. A sales clerk accompanied them for about ten minutes before being frightened away and telling them to just let her know when they needed something.

“It’s feeling real, isn’t it?” Kevin pointed to a small chandelier with multicolored crystals dripping from every curve. He tapped one of them, setting orange-hued refractions dancing over his skin. “And, really? Who would buy this, and why aren’t they already in jail?”

Casper wasn’t about to say that he could actually see it in the right setting. It could be kind of fun and kitschy. “It is. It’s getting easier to believe that we might have an honest to goodness shop in a few months.”

“Yeah, electrical starts next week, and we should get all the clearances of licenses and tax numbers and all that crap back soon. I thought it was never going to end.”

“No joke. Although I’m kinda betting it doesn’t. That was a good thing about being the chef for someone else. A whole lot less paperwork.” He walked to a huge display of about forty different styles of hanging light pendants, ranging from a simple black cord, to ones in wire cages, to others that looked like they were out of a steampunk novel. “These were what I was picturing. Several of these hanging in a row over my display station.”

Kevin tilted his head and looked at the lamps as if they might have been guilty of a crime.

“Or not. If you hate them, we won’t waste time with them—”

“No, hold on. I’m slowly getting used to this aesthetic that we’ve got going. These could go really well with the exposed brick.” He reached up to one of the industrial caged fixtures and turned it back and forth. “Convince me.”

“Uhm, okay….” Casper closed his eyes for a second, trying to picture how Kevin had been talking about the layout of the dress shop. “Okay. So, you know how you mentioned that you want it all split up by designers, each one with their own dressing room, mirror, and pedestal and such, with couches and chairs for the bride’s friends? Well, picture a cluster of these, maybe three or five of them hanging at different lengths at each one of those stations.”

He opened his eyes to find Kevin staring at him, an unreadable expression on his face. “What? Stupid idea?”

Kevin curved his lips into a half grin and opened his mouth to speak, then seemed to think better of it. Instead he looked back at the lights. “You know, you could have had a decent go of it in advertising. I’m sold.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Kevin put his hand out, his body wavering slightly, then regained his balance.

Casper stepped closer. “Kev, are you okay? You’re a little pale.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He waved Casper off. “It’s perfect timing, really. We can tape off the sections of the changing rooms and modeling area and show the lighting guy next week exactly where—”

Kevin put his hand out again, grasping one of the standing light fixtures.

Casper saw Kevin’s eyes roll back in his head and rushed forward, calling out, but didn’t make it before Kevin fell, taking several lampstands down with him on the way.

KEVIN

BEFORE HE
opened his eyes, the incessant electronic beeping filled Kevin’s ears. A shoe squeaked on linoleum. The constant buzz of chatter was hushed and tentative.

His head hurt.

He felt foggy, achy.

And he knew where he was just from the smell. The too-clean, too-chemical, too-antiseptic smell belonged to only one place.

Tenderly, he opened his eyes, then shut them for a moment.

Fuck, it was bright.

He tried again, this time making out a fuzzy face in front of him.

“Hey, Kev. You with me?”

The face came into view. Casper.

Kevin blinked a couple of times and brought Casper into sharper focus. He reached out his hands and lifted Casper’s glasses off his face.

He inspected.

Huh.

“Your face is totally symmetrical. I swear it’s completely the same on both sides. It’s like a perfect drawing.” He touched the corner of Casper’s mouth lightly with his thumb. “Even the way the corners of your lips turn up. Exactly the same on each side.”

“Wow, Kev, what kind of meds did they give you?” Casper’s chuckle seemed forced and self-conscious.

“No, really.” He sounded a little slurred, kind of drunk. He attempted to correct that. “It’s relaxing to look at your face. Very soothing.”

It really was. Looking at Casper’s features seemed to make his heart rate slow. There was nothing to fix. His face was well organized.

Casper laughed genuinely, the sound also soothing. “My face is well organized?”

Kevin hadn’t realized he’d said that out loud.

“I have the card catalog of faces.” Casper smiled at him from where he sat beside the bed. His smile seemed to falter at his next words, but maybe Kevin was making things up. “Luckily, Scott is on his way, and his face is a lot better than well organized, I am sure. Your moms are on their way as well.”

The beeping over his shoulder increased its rhythm. “They’re all coming here? Why?” He tried to sit up, but a sword of light struck behind his eyes, and he relaxed back into the pillow.

“Kev, you’re in the emergency room. I thought you’d want your family and your boyfriend… er, ex-husband… or whatever, so I called them from your phone.”

Kevin groaned. He attempted to rub his head with his hand, but something snagged on the bed rail.

Great, needles.
There were always needles. He needed to get out of there.

“How long have I been here?”

“We just got here, less than twenty minutes ago.” Casper reached across him and fiddled with whatever he’d gotten his tubes stuck on. “Do you remember what happened?”

Yeah, he hadn’t eaten in two days. He remembered what had happened. Fuck. He needed to be better at this. He used to be. He needed to eat enough to stay awake, at the very least. “Uhm, yeah. We were at the lighting store. There was a god-awful chandelier.”

Casper grinned.

Even when he smiled, his lips stayed symmetrical. So did the crinkles around his eyes, for that matter.

“Of course you’d remember that. You weren’t passed out for very long, less than a minute I bet, but it scared me to death, and then you were so out of it. The lamp store clerk called an ambulance.”

Kevin didn’t remember waking at the lamp store, but he did vaguely recall the commotion of being lifted into the ambulance.

“You hit your head pretty hard on one of the lamp stands. You were bleeding, and you’ve got a huge bump on your temple.”

“I’ll say he does.” A nurse walked through the curtain separating them from the rest of the emergency room. He addressed Kevin. “I’m Stephen. Remember meeting me a few minutes ago?”

The nurse was a handsome, forty-something man with salt-and-pepper hair. Kevin narrowed his eyes at him. “Maybe?”

Stephen just grinned and walked over to check the monitors. “Well, I’ve no doubt you’ve got a concussion. Not that we’ve had time to test and diagnose properly yet. You hit your head pretty hard there, Mr. Bivanti. But it doesn’t sound like you were unconscious very long. However, I am concerned about how long your fogginess might last, though you look like you’re back with us for good now.” He motioned to the clear bag hanging from the metal stand. “I’m willing to bet the intravenous fluids are helping you more than anything. You were severely dehydrated.” He gave Kevin a strange look. “You seem pretty nonchalant about waking up in an emergency room.”

Kevin just shrugged. This guy had no idea. “Before we realized how chronic my acid reflux was, my moms kept thinking I was having heart problems. This is no big deal. I got used to hospitals in middle school.” His moms. Scott. Shit! He really was out of it. “Speaking of, can we wrap this up? I’d like to get out of here.”

“I thought you said it was no big deal? There’s some more tests we need to do. I’d like to make sure you’re going to stay with us a bit longer without blacking out before I ship you off.” The nurse offered what Kevin was sure was his overpracticed you’re-fine-shut-up smile.

“It’s not a big deal. But any moment, my moms are going to show up and my… ah… boyfriend, and those together will be a big deal.”

Instead of looking at him, the nurse had turned toward Casper.

Kevin followed the nurse’s gaze. Casper was beet red. “I told them I was your boyfriend. I wasn’t sure if they’d let me back here otherwise, and I didn’t want to leave you alone.”

Kevin addressed the nurse once more. “Please do whatever tests you’re needing to real quick, and I’ll sign whatever paperwork you need to get me released. I promise I’ll go home and drink a tub full of water and eat a half a cow and not fall asleep. Will that work?”

Stephen gave Kevin a knowing look. “I didn’t mention anything about food.”

For a second, Kevin felt his panic mount. He did not want to have this discussion. Luckily his anger stepped in for the rescue. “Just get me whatever release forms you need me to sign so I can be on my way.”

The nurse ignored Kevin’s biting tone and looked at Casper instead. “I won’t tell that you weren’t honest to get back here. However, you do a very convincing job of playing the boyfriend, I must say. Better than my own does, that’s for sure.” He didn’t bother to shut the curtains as he passed through.

Kevin watched him go, his anger making his heartburn increase. After a moment, he felt a hand on his arm. He looked over at Casper’s concerned face. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave? Maybe we should do some more tests. It’s not just your fall today. You’ve been looking more and more tense lately, and you’re getting too skinny.”

“It’s called stress, Casper. Opening a new business and taking on a few million dollars in debt can do that to a person.” He instantly regretted his cutting tone.

Casper removed his hand from Kevin’s arm and slid farther back into the folding chair.

“Sorry, Casper. I’m just tense, like you said. And I have been through more than enough doctor’s appointments with my stomach to know this isn’t a big deal. Thank you for taking care of me, though.”

Casper’s tight shoulders dropped slightly, but before he could reply, Stephen stuck his head back through the space in the curtains. “It seems one of your moms is here to see you, Mr. Bivanti, and she doesn’t seem to feel that waiting is an option.”

Renata stepped past him into the curtained space and moved quickly over to the empty side of Kevin’s bed, her high heels clicking with every step.

She bent to kiss Kevin’s cheek. “Darling, are you all right?”

He kissed her back. “I’m fine, Mom. Just been working too hard, and my body decided to take a rest.”

She fingered his hair around his left temple. “Goodness, that looks ugly. You’re going to hurt for a while, Kev. We will have to keep you awake. I’m sure you have a concussion.”