Authors: Tilly Bagshawe
‘How kind,’ she said brusquely, removing his hand and inching her chair as far towards Tom’s as it would go. ‘Unfortunately I’m rather busy with Hamilton Hall right now. Both the London schools are oversubscribed. In fact, business is booming so much that we’re opening our first American school next year,’ she couldn’t resist adding.
‘So I hear,’ said Dylan, refilling his wine glass.
Tati frowned. ‘What do you mean?’
No one knew about their planned New York expansion. She hadn’t even officially cleared it with her own board yet, although now that Leon DC had effectively underwritten the new school, their approval was a formality.
‘Did Jason say something to you about New York?’
‘Jason? No, no. It was your beloved father-in-law.’ He nodded across the table to where Brett was deep in conversation with Seb Harwich’s extremely young, extremely beautiful blonde girlfriend. ‘I gather he saw you there last month. Funny how your paths seem to keep on crossing, isn’t it? Now that Brett and Angela are moving Stateside, I expect you’ll be running into each other all the time. Like one big, happy family,’ he added snidely.
Tati put her head in her hands and squeezed her eyes shut, willing the nausea to dissipate. She felt so ghastly it was hard to concentrate, but what Dylan was saying was important. He must be wrong.
‘Brett and Angela aren’t moving,’ she said slowly. ‘They’d never leave Furlings.’
Dylan shrugged. ‘
Au contraire
. They’re upping sticks. It’s the talk of the village. Well, that and Emma Harwich dropping her knickers again, although quite how that’s still considered news, I couldn’t tell you. Ask Brett yourself if you don’t believe me.’
Tati stared at him mutely. He had to be mistaken. Or perhaps he was saying it just to get a reaction out of her? Dylan had always been a shit-stirrer.
‘Funny, isn’t it, me knowing so much more about your family’s business than you do?’ he smirked.
‘Hilarious,’ said Tati.
As soon as dinner was over, Tati dragged Jason off to one side.
‘Dylan Pritchard Jones told me your parents are moving to America. Is that true?’
‘Apparently so,’ said Jason.
Tati exploded. ‘Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?’
A number of guests turned around to stare at them. Dizzy with the effort of shouting, Tati slumped down onto the nearest chair.
‘For God’s sake, calm down,’ said Jason, pulling up a chair next to her. ‘I didn’t know myself till tonight. Mum told me at dinner.’
‘Don’t you understand what this means?’ said Tati, running her hands through her hair.
‘I don’t think it means anything,’ said Jason. ‘Other than Mum and Dad wanting a fresh start.’
‘Of course it does,’ snapped Tati. ‘It means they’ll sell Furlings. Which means we can buy it.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ said Jason gently. ‘Dad wouldn’t sell to you – to us – if we were the last buyers on earth.’
‘Of course not. But he’ll sell to someone else. Then we can swoop in and make them an offer they can’t refuse.’
Jason sighed. He wished, for her own sake, that Tati would let go of her fantasies about Furlings.
‘According to Mum they’re not selling at all,’ he told her. ‘Dad’s renting it out. They want to keep their options open. I think Mum would like to come back, eventually.’
While Tati sat in brooding silence taking this in, Logan, looking ravishing in a gold brocade dress and with her long dark hair swept up in Cleopatra-esque coils, came over and accosted Jason. Since she and Brett had buried the hatchet, she had been back living at Furlings over the summer holidays. Both Jason and Tati missed her presence at Eaton Gate and had been looking forward to seeing her today at the wedding.
‘Can Tommy and I cadge a lift back to London with you tonight?’ Logan asked. ‘A friend from college has two extra tickets to the Venom concert tomorrow at the O2.’
‘Sure,’ said Jason. ‘We’ll probably be leaving soon, though. Tati’s not feeling too chipper.’
‘She looks all right to me,’ said Logan, pointing to the far corner of the marquee. Tatiana was talking to Brett. Judging by her body language, she was letting him have it. ‘Perhaps she’s rallied?’
‘Oh, God,’ sighed Jason.
‘You don’t even want the house.’ Tati was shouting, waving her arms around like an air traffic controller trying to bring a plane in to land whilst in the throes of an epileptic fit. ‘Why can’t you just admit it?’
‘Look,’ said Brett. ‘I’m not selling Furlings and that’s that.’
‘Yes, and why not? Out of spite, that’s why. Because you know Jason and I
do
want it.’
‘Leave Jason out of this,’ said Brett. ‘This is between you and me.’
‘Fine. So sell the house back to me. You can name your price.’
‘It’s not for sale.’ His eyes were glittering but Tati couldn’t quite get a handle on whether it was with amusement or something else. ‘And it never will be. Why can’t you just accept the fact that your father didn’t want you to have that house? He cut you out of the will, and left it to me, and there is nothing you can do to change that.
Nothing.
’
The truth was that Furlings was the one thing, the only thing, he controlled when it came to his relationship with Tatiana. He couldn’t have her. He couldn’t stop wanting her either. But he
could
hold on to something he knew she wanted, and would always want. Furlings was the unbreakable chain that bound the two of them together. The only ace in Brett’s hand. That made it priceless. Because as much as Brett yearned for escape from the misery of his feelings for Tati, the thought of actually breaking that chain and letting her go filled him with terror.
Of course, Tati couldn’t see Brett’s fear. She was too blinded by her own, by her deep need to get Furlings back and right the wrongs of the past.
‘He cut me off because I was a mess back then.’ She pleaded with Brett’s rational side. ‘He wouldn’t have made the same decision if he could see me now. I rarely drink and never touch drugs. I have Hamilton Hall. I’m rich and successful. I’m happily married.’
Brett let out a snort of derision at this last claim. ‘You’re delusional.’
‘And you’re a fucking arsehole,’ Tati shouted, loudly enough for a number of nearby wedding guests to shoot her disapproving looks.
Brett leaned in closer. His voice in her ear was like the hissing of a snake. ‘I saw you at the Maidstone Club last month. With lover boy.’
The hair on Tati’s forearms stood on end and the greenish colour drained from her face.
‘You can tell me that was a business meeting till you’re blue in the face,’ Brett went on. ‘But I know what kind of business you’ve been doing. So you can spare me the “happily married”, saintly wife act. I know who you are.’
Tati looked him in the eye defiantly. ‘You have no idea who I am. You don’t even know who
you
are.’
‘Don’t try to change the subject,’ said Brett.
‘Why not?’ said Tati. ‘You don’t like it when people hold up a mirror and force you to look at yourself, do you Brett? Who the hell are you to pass judgement on my marriage? Take a look at your own.’
They stood in silence, squared off and staring at one another, like two duellists who’d forgotten to bring their guns.
She’s so like me
, thought Brett.
She keeps fighting, even when she’s cornered.
He wondered how different his marriage to Angela might have been if she’d ever challenged him the way that Tatiana did? If she’d ever stood up to him. Would he have been faithful? He didn’t know. He supposed it didn’t much matter now anyway. Angela was a better person than Tatiana, and a better person than him. He knew it, but he couldn’t forgive Tatiana for calling him on it.
‘Read my lips,’ he said slowly, savouring each word. ‘You will Never. Own. That. House. Not while I’m alive.’
‘You’re evil,’ whispered Tati. ‘I hate you.’
She threw the words at him like a cup full of acid. But Brett could see that her eyes brimmed with tears. He’d intended to wound her. And yet a huge part of him longed to pull her into his arms and comfort her, to hold her till she stopped crying and never cried again.
At that moment Jason appeared at her side. He put one arm around Tati’s waist and the other comfortingly around her shoulder, drawing her in to a hug. Brett felt a stabbing pain in his heart so acute he wondered for a moment if he were having an attack.
‘You should get your bitch on a tighter leash,’ he snarled at Jason.
Ignoring him, Jason turned back to Tati. ‘Come on, darling, let’s go. He’s not worth it.’
Tati allowed herself to be led away. As she and Jason passed the dance floor, she saw the bride, barefoot and beautiful, twirling around with her new husband. Stella’s smile could have lit the marquee on its own, and powered the rest of the village as well. Tatiana tried to remember the last time she had felt that happy, but her mind drew a blank.
She’d told herself that spending more time in the Swell Valley would lift her spirits and be good for her soul. Brockhurst Abbey, which she’d bought on a whim, sight unseen, would be ready to move into in a few months. But she realized now that, however hard her architect and interior designer worked, it would never feel like home. While Furlings was still standing, and while that bastard Brett Cranley kept it from her, she was condemned to wander the world like a lost soul, an eternal refugee.
Jason kept telling her she was fooling herself. That getting Furlings back would not solve all her problems, the way that she imagined it would. That it would not right the wrongs of the past because, as Jason succinctly put it, ‘Nothing can do that.’ With her rational mind, Tati knew he was right. And yet emotionally that house, her dead father and Brett Cranley formed some sort of mystical triangle from which she could not break free. From which, on some deep, subconscious level, she didn’t
want
to break free.
But tonight, for the first time, she asked herself the question: Was it Furlings she wanted? Or was it Brett Cranley?
The truth was she had unfinished business with both of them.
She felt a little better on the car journey home. The Range Rover was warm and comfortable, and Jason’s Handel CD soothed the throbbing in her head. The nausea that had plagued her all afternoon was finally gone now too, a relief so sweet it was impossible to remain entirely unhappy.
Glancing over her shoulder into the back seat, she smiled. ‘Look,’ she said to Jason. Logan and Tom were both fast asleep, their arms wrapped around one another. ‘They’re like puppies.’
‘They are,’ Jason agreed.
They lapsed into silence for a few minutes. At a red light, Jason turned towards Tati and rested a hand on her leg. It was the first truly calm moment they’d had together since Tati’s return from New York. The moment Jason had been waiting for.
‘There’s something I have to tell you,’ he said quietly.
Tati felt her heart rate quicken, but she didn’t flinch. It could not be avoided forever.
She was ready.
‘I’m sorry, Tatiana.’ Jason looked her squarely in the eye. ‘I’ve fallen in love with someone else.’
Back at the house on Eaton Gate, Tati settled Logan and Tom into the blue guest room and waited till all was quiet upstairs before joining Jason in the kitchen.
‘I thought I’d make us some tea.’
He’d carefully set a pot and two mugs down on the table, along with a plate of chocolate Hobnobs. Another couple might have opted for a stiff drink, but actually tea was exactly what Tati wanted. Something normal and soothing, something that was going to make everything all right.
‘Thank you.’
They both sat down while Jason poured. After a few moments’ silence, Jason was the first to speak.
‘I’m sorry,’ he said simply.
‘Don’t be,’ said Tati. ‘We both knew things weren’t right. May I ask who it is?’
Jason looked down at the table, his whole body suddenly rigid with tension. Tati watched the way his fingers coiled nervously around one another, like trapped snakes. Reaching out, she put her own hand over his.
‘It’s all right,’ she said. ‘Really. And if you’re feeling guilty, for God’s sake don’t. I slept with someone else myself last month. In New York.’
Jason looked up, surprised. ‘Did you?’
Tati nodded, blushing.
‘Someone serious?’
The question was more curious than accusatory. Tati thought how odd it was, to be sitting here discussing infidelity over a cup of tea in their kitchen, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
‘No,’ she shook her head. ‘Not serious. At least, I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want you to think I made a habit of being unfaithful,’ she blurted. ‘This was the first time. A one-off.’
Jason squeezed her hand tightly. ‘You don’t have to explain.’
‘I do,’ said Tati. ‘We’re married.’
‘I know,’ said Jason. ‘But we never should have been.’
Tati let out a long breath. ‘No,’ she agreed softly. ‘We never should have been. We should have stayed friends.’
‘We
have
stayed friends,’ Jason said, suddenly impassioned. ‘We
are
friends, Tati. And I hope we always will be.’
Tati’s eyes welled up with tears. She blinked them away, wrapping her hands around her mug, allowing its warmth to comfort her. The irony was, it wasn’t sadness that she felt. It was pure, unadulterated relief.
‘Of course we will,’ she said at last. ‘Always. So tell me. You
have
found someone serious?’
Jason nodded.
‘You said you were in love?’
‘I think I am,’ he smiled shyly.
‘Do I know her?’ asked Tati.
Jason was quiet for a moment, his eyes fixed on the table. At last he forced himself to look Tati in the eye.
‘That’s the thing,’ he said softly. ‘It’s not a her. It’s a him.’
It took a lot to render Tatiana speechless. But this, temporarily at least, had done it. She looked at Jason for a long time. At least twice she opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again, an expression of frank astonishment written on her face.
‘A him?’ she said at last.