The Innocent Witness (16 page)

There was so much distress in his tone. She didn't understand. He had to have feelings for her. She was certain he did. His kiss told her the story. “Please. I—”

His sharp shake of his head cut her off. “I shouldn't have kissed you. I shouldn't have done a lot of things. I was out of line. Not your fault. Mine.” He took a step back. “My assignment is over. You don't need me anymore.”

I do need you!
her heart screamed. She wanted him in her life. And not as her bodyguard. She needed his
strength, his tenderness. His love. But all she was to him was an assignment. How could she have been so foolish to think otherwise?

Hurt welled. Old pain resurfaced. Here she was again yearning for the love of someone who had no intention of loving her back.

Pride surged, hiding her inner turmoil behind a polite smile. “Of course. Silly me.”

With her head held high she wrapped an arm around Mikey's thin shoulders and walked out, leaving Anthony to trail after them.

And her heart broken.

 

Anthony entered his parents' house and braced himself. The aromas of homemade pasta sauce wrapped him in a cocoon of warmth easing the exhaustion suddenly zapping his energy. He could hear his family on the other side of the living room wall, in the kitchen. His mother's beautiful laugh, his father's deep voice. Angie's smart tongue as she good-naturedly dissed her husband, Jason.

Familial love constricted his throat, part joy, part pain.

He'd spent the past day and a half answering the AAG's questions and writing out his statement of the events of the past week. James Trent had stood by Anthony and Joe, arguing with the AAG on the finer points of law that the brothers had stretched but not exactly broken in their quest to protect Viv and her son. Anthony was grateful to Trent. The man was a stand-up guy all the way. He'd even told Anthony to take a few
days before deciding whether to take a full-time job with Trent Associates.

Anthony couldn't even think about the future without the agonizing pain of loss burrowing to the furthest depths of his soul. His life was empty without Viv and Mikey.

Saying goodbye to her had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do.

But he'd had to.

Even when he'd known in that last moment inside the shack she'd been about to say something she'd only regret. He'd had to be strong enough to end what never should have started. She deserved someone worthy of her love. Not a washed-up ex-Secret-Service-agent-turned-bodyguard who'd let her and her son get way too close to the edge of death.

He rubbed at the ache in the middle of his chest just as his sister stuck her head around the corner. Her dark curly hair was loose about her shoulders and her lively brown eyes danced.

“Hey, I thought I heard something.” She pulled him into a fierce hug. She released him and linked her arm through his. “You're missing Dad's story about Mom's latest mishap at church.”

Despite himself, Anthony smiled. His mom was forever doing something comical at their community church, whether asking the pastor a question in the middle of his sermon or pointing out that Mr. Racine was falling asleep again. Her children found her antics hilarious, while the rest of the congregation wasn't as amused. But what could he say. She was his mother and he loved her.

He stepped into the kitchen.

“Tony, my baby,” his mother cried and threw her arms around his neck.

If only her hug could make everything better the way it did when he was a kid. He tightened his arms around her. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hey, I'm the baby,” Angie groused in a teasing tone.

“You're going to smother the boy,” his father's deep voice rumbled from his chest.

His mother stepped back with a good-natured huff.

His father breached the gap left by his mother and drew Anthony in for a bear hug. “Good to see you in one piece.”

Memories of the car bomb that had sent him to the hospital with a gash to his forehead flashed in his mind. His gut clenched. It could have been so much worse. He could have died. Viv and Mikey could have died. He sent up a silent prayer of thanksgiving. “Good to be here in one piece.”

Anthony shook hands with Angie's husband, Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent Jason Bodewell. He and Angie had met while Angie had taken a much-needed vacation in Florida last year. Jason had been on a deep-undercover assignment that Angie, being the tenacious Angie they all loved, nearly tanked. After a rocky start, the two had worked together to bring down a notorious arms dealer and in the process had fallen for each other. Jason now ran tactical out of Boston while Angie worked homicide. She couldn't have found a better match.

Just like he had in Viv.

But it had worked out for his baby sister. She didn't carry the burdens he did.

He would never be blessed with Viv in his life. How depressing.

“Dinner's about ready.” His mother wiped her hands on an apron covering her slacks and blouse. Her short brunette hair curled around her face. “We're just waiting for Joe and his guest.”

Anthony raised an eyebrow in surprise. Last he'd seen Joe was in the AAG's office day before yesterday. “Joe's in town?”

“Yes, son. And he's bringing a
friend
for us to meet.” His father wiggled his still-black bushy eyebrows. Though his father had suffered a heart attack two springs ago, the old man still had it going on. He'd been a great police officer. Tough, yet fair. Growing up, Anthony wanted to be just like his father, his hero.

Too bad Anthony hadn't lived up to his father's status.

Anthony moved to the sink to wash his hands. He had an idea who Joe was bringing. A pang of longing hit the bull's-eye point smack dab in the middle of Anthony's forehead with a resounding “twing.” Anthony wished he himself was bringing a “friend.”

Only he wanted more than friendship from Vivian. He wanted to share his life with her. But that wasn't a possibility. And the sooner he got it through his thick skull the better.

The arrival of his younger brother and Barb Jetton distracted Anthony from his own funk. He'd witnessed the attraction between Joe and Mikey's spunky teacher
and wholeheartedly approved. They made a great couple.

Joe needed someone who wouldn't take his guff without giving a good dose of it back.

Over the next hour they devoured platters of ricotta-filled cannelloni generously doused with the best marinara sauce in all of Boston and nicely-aged parmesan cheese. Thankfully, Anthony was able to actually relax and enjoy the festive mood.

But always at the edge of his mind was a tortured yearning for Viv and Mikey. And the family unit they would never be together.

After dinner, Joe drew Anthony upstairs to the house's upper deck. Stars twinkled in the heavens like diamonds, making a perfect backdrop for the city. The lit up view of Bunker Hill, a scaled-down version of the Washington Monument, in the distance made Anthony's heart spasm. Memories flooded him.

Viv's wide blue eyes filled with fear. The moment when Anthony had seen the big goon approaching her with his gun aimed at her heart. The joy in her face when she'd flung her arms around Anthony's neck. The softness of her lips beneath his. The hurt in her eyes when they parted.

When he'd sent her away. Acted as if he didn't love her.

He spun away from the view and plopped onto a lounge chair. The outside house lights cast shadows over the deck.

Joe loomed over him. “Dude, what are you doing here?”

“Excuse me?”

Taking a seat next to him on the other chair, Joe gave him a hard stare. “You should be in D.C. with Vivian.”

The bald statement sent Anthony's pulse pounding in his head. “She's in good hands.”

At least her safety was. But no one could love her the way he did. His shoulders sagged. “I should have taken her straight to the Department of Justice the minute we returned to D.C. They would have done a better job of protecting her than I did. Even she agreed the DOJ was a better choice for her and Mikey's protection.”

Joe held up his index finger. “First off, bro, you did your job. You protected her. She's alive and well and the bad guy is going to prison. Yeah, there were some bumps and close calls along the way, but that's life.” His middle finger joined his index finger. He jabbed the air for emphasis. “And second, it was your idea to turn her protection over to the DOJ. She trusted you to know what was best for her and her son.”

Anthony swallowed the lump in his throat. “I don't think trust had anything to do with it. She thought I couldn't hack it. And she was right.”

Joe scoffed. “For a smart guy, you sure are dumb. She thought no such thing. And I happen to know, since she and Barb talk. You're real good at assuming stuff but you stink at going after the truth.”

The barb stung. “Can it, little brother.”

Joe leveled him with a challenging look. “You gonna make me?”

Too heartsick to want to fight, Anthony scrubbed a hand over his face. “Just go away.”

“No. Your job is not over.”

Frustration fractured Anthony's control. “Don't you
get it?” he snapped. “She became more than a job. I crossed the line. I fell in love with her.”

Stunned to have the confession out, Anthony clenched his fists. His head dropped back against the backrest.

“Have you told her?” Joe asked, his voice now soft with empathy.

“Of course not. The last thing she needs is…me.”

Joe punched him in the arm.

“Hey!” Anthony rubbed the spot on his biceps.

“You are exactly what she needs, you idiot.”

“My life is here,” Anthony countered listlessly.

“Really? Or is that just a convenient excuse?” Joe stood and shook his head in disgust. “I never took you for a coward.”

Normally those words would incite a tussle between the brothers. But not tonight. Tonight, his brother's pronouncement punctured a hole through every last vestige of self-respect Anthony possessed. “But that's just it, Joe. I am. I froze.” The admission tasted bitter on his tongue. “My protectee is dead because I hesitated.”

Slowly, Joe sank back to the chair. “The delegate from Kashmir.” He placed a strong hand on Anthony's shoulder and gave a squeeze. “Brother, that doesn't make you a coward. That makes you human.”

“A human trained not to flinch. And I flinched.”

“We've all done it,” Joe said in a firm tone. “Last year when I went down to Loribel Island to bring Angie back…” He let out a soft whistle. “There was a moment when I came face-to-face with my mortality. It scared me spitless.”

Anthony met his brother's sincere gaze. “No one died on your watch.”

Joe's mouth twisted in a wry grimace. “It wasn't anyone's day to die, that's all. But that doesn't mean the next time I'm confronted with a deadly situation I'll be as lucky. All we can do is trust God knows what He's doing and go with it.”

I can't let circumstances dictate my faith in God.

Ah, Viv,
Anthony's heart cried out.
I wish I had your faith.

He clenched a fist. He was doing it again. Letting doubt and guilt drive his faith into the ground.

Forgive me, Lord. I will trust You.

How many times could a man ask for God's forgiveness before he felt forgiven?

He figured he'd find out eventually.

But right now he had some unfinished business in D.C.

Aware of his brother's expectant stare, Anthony said, “I do want to go after the truth.”

A wide grin broke over Joe's face. “Now that's the brother I know and love.”

Anthony just hoped it wasn't too late to claim the woman he loved.

 

“Soon you can put this whole ordeal behind you.” U.S. Assistant Attorney General Kevin Jacobs reached for the statement Vivian had just finished signing. “You and Mikey can start over.”

Sitting in the AAG's office inside the DOJ, Viv gave Kevin, as he'd insisted she call him, a wan smile.

She doubted the memories would fade easily.

Even though it had been three days since she and Mikey had been kidnapped and taken to the shack in
the woods, she found herself starting at sudden noises. Worse, she was always quickly hurtled back to that frightening moment when she'd thought for sure her life was ending as she stared down the barrel of Carl's weapon. A shudder swept over her. If not for Anthony…

Her mind shied away from thinking about him.

She didn't want to stir the overwhelming heartache and loneliness that at times threatened to suffocate her. And always brought the burn of tears to her eyes.

Anthony was gone from her life. A fact she'd have to learn to accept, as difficult as that was proving to be. Each night she prayed God would lessen the ache of missing Anthony. Each morning she awoke still hurting. Seemed God was taking His time answering her prayer.

But Anthony had wasted no time exiting her life.

As soon as he'd handed her over to the custody of the DOJ he'd returned to Boston with the Trent people.

His goodbye had been simple, unemotional. Bodyguard to client. Only Mikey had garnered a lingering glance that told her Anthony wasn't as unfeeling as he acted. She decided that look had been for Mikey alone, from a kind man who would miss a cute kid. But Anthony was still falling back on what was safe, what he knew; picking his job over her and Mikey.

Focusing on her son had so far kept the torment of loving Anthony and not having her love returned at bay. She was getting on with her life. Like Kevin had said, a new life.

She'd hardly been able to let Mikey out of her sight. She thanked God every day for their survival as well as
Mikey's mind's ability to discard the unpleasantness of the past week. The behavioral specialist Dr. Mason did caution, however, to be prepared for Mikey to recall the violence he'd witnessed.