The Islanders (28 page)

“I GUESS THIS IS THE
big moment,” Nina said. She was standing by the refreshments table with Benjamin. They were still warm and flushed from dancing, though the lengthy speech by Mr. Hardcastle, having something vaguely to do with why Weymouth High was such a truly swell school, had given them a chance to cool off a little.

“Spotlight up,” Nina announced. “And here's our happy couple.”

“‘Symbols of all that's right with Weymouth High,'” Benjamin quoted sardonically from the principal's speech. “Aren't you glad you came? You'd have missed all this magnificence.”

“I am glad I came,” Nina said. She looked at him, and reminded herself for the hundredth time that he was her date. Her actual date. And better than that, he was a guy she liked more than she'd thought possible. “I'm very glad.”

“You're not going all sincere on me, are you?”

Nina smiled. “I would never do that to you, Benjamin.”
The band began to play, a slow, almost mournful tune. “Oh, this is nice. Lucas is trying to hold her at arm's length, and Louise is trying to squeeze her big buffers right up into his face.”

“Gee, if I'd known that,
I
would have tried to be homecoming king,” Benjamin said.

Nina punched him in the arm, and he groaned. It was a proprietary action, Nina realized, like she was jealous that he would think about another girl, but it had happened naturally, without her even thinking about it. And Benjamin had acted like it was perfectly normal.

“You know, I
never
look at other girls,” Benjamin said self-mockingly.

“Now I'm definitely glad I came. Zoey is standing a few feet away from them, doing this smile she does when she's really on slow boil.”

Zoey was standing with Aisha, watching Lucas move Louise around the floor with the minute attention of a cat watching a mouse.

“Should have been you,” Aisha said comfortingly. “Homecoming queen, I mean.”

“That's not what I care about,” Zoey said. “Although it would be nice to win something,
some
time
.
It's just why couldn't it have been Amelia or Kay or Marie who won?”

“Or for that matter, it could have been Jake or Tad or someone else who won for king.”

“That would have been okay, too,” Zoey agreed.

“Basically, anyone but the combination of Lucas and Louise,” Aisha said.

“Basically.”

“You shouldn't be worried just because she has bigger boobs than you do, Zoey. You put way too much on that. That's really
not
all that guys think about. Besides, you know Lucas loves you.”

“It's not her boobs I'm worried about,” Zoey said. “Give me some credit. It's just that, well . . . you know what everyone says about Louise.”

“You mean ‘Lay Down Louise'? ‘Easy Louisie'? I may have heard certain ugly rumors,” Aisha said.

Zoey shrugged and looked away in embarrassment. “Lucas has sort of been wanting to, you know . . . And I've been saying no. Or at least, not yet.”

“Look, Zoey, you can't get into just competing—”

Her words were cut off as the song ended and the audience applauded more or less enthusiastically for the end of the big ceremonial dance.

Lucas smiled grimly and nearly pushed Louise away. Zoey found that extremely gratifying.

“I guess there won't be any little princes and princesses, from the look of it!” Aisha yelled to Zoey, clapping with the rest of them.

Lucas came straight over, smiling now as if the burden of the world had just been lifted from his shoulders. “It's over, it's over. I've done my little thing for school spirit. Jeez, I can't slow dance worth spit.”

“You looked good,” Aisha said, making a gagging sound.

“No, don't start with me, Aisha.” Lucas shook his finger at her. “I still think you're the one who started this by nominating me.”

The music stayed slow, and couples were drifting around the floor again, locked in embraces. “Come on, Lucas,” Zoey said. “If you can dance like a dork with Louise, you can dance like a dork with me.”

“I'll just go and drink punch with the pathetic, dateless people,” Aisha said good-naturedly.

Lucas took Zoey in his arms. She laid her head on his shoulder. It felt very, very good to be close to him like this. Seeing him with another girl had driven that feeling home to her.

She looked across the room and saw Jake standing stiffly beside Claire, staring into blank space.

It was funny the way emotional bonds were forged, seeming stronger than any steel at the time, and then were broken,
leaving two people who had shared almost everything feeling like strangers.

Today she had her arms around Lucas. Once it would have been Jake. Today she would swear that nothing could ever drive her from Lucas. But once she had felt just that same way about Jake.

There were so many ways for things to go wrong, it seemed. And so few chances that they would all go right. She was glad when Lucas slowly turned her away so that she could no longer see Jake and be reminded that even the things that felt so perfect, like the feel of being weightless in Lucas's arms, could someday end.

Then she saw Nina standing with Benjamin. They were holding hands, looking uncomfortable, maybe a little giddy, but holding hands. Sort of the way Zoey had taught Nina.

Zoey smiled. Things didn't always turn out badly.

Benjamin could feel the pulse in Nina's wrist. Her heart was racing. Fear or excitement or both. But then, his own pulse was speeding, too. Nina's nervousness must be catching.

“I have to go to the place,” Nina said.

“The
place
? You mean, what, the supermarket?”

“Very cute. The ladies' room. I was trying to be delicate.”

“As long as you wash your hands afterward.”

“You want me to park you somewhere?” Nina suggested. “Aisha's over by the food.”

“Cool.” Benjamin took her arm and fell in step with her. Here, in an environment this unstructured, he was genuinely blind. You couldn't use step-counting to get around a big crowded room filled with rowdy kids. “So, Aisha with the food. Is she fat or anything? You know, so I don't make some insensitive remark?”

“Yes,” Nina said. “Aisha must be, oh, two, two hundred fifty pounds. Somewhere in there. Maybe three hundred.”

Benjamin laughed. Obviously Nina was lying. But then, he had set her up. He knew perfectly well what Aisha looked like, having had her described several times over the years. Of course, Nina knew that, too.

Even as nervous and preoccupied and scared as she was, Nina was still right there, always sharp and on top of things. There were times when they could have almost been some old-time comedy team who had worked together for so many years, they'd become two halves of the same brain.

But something was happening. Something different. She wasn't plain old Nina to him right now. The way she smelled, the sound of her voice, the softness of her hand on his, the silkiness of her hair brushing against his cheek when she leaned close to talk to him. It was making his heart race.

“Hey, Ben.” Aisha's voice.

Nina moved away. “I'll be right back unless the line is really long.”

“What's up, Aisha?” he asked, immediately missing the warmth of Nina's hand.

Silence. She had probably shrugged. Then, “Oh, sorry. Not much.”

“Too bad Christopher couldn't be here, huh?”

Now she was nodding.

“Well, soon, right? You think you two will get back together after he gets out of the hospital?” He felt uncomfortable making small talk about someone else's relationship, but it was either that or stand there like a redwood.

“I haven't really thought about it,” Aisha said. “I mean, I don't know that this has really changed anything basic. But I know I don't feel like this is the time to be pushing the issue. You know?”

“Sure. Wait till he's healthy. Then bust him.”

“Mostly it was miscommunication,” she said, sounding thoughtful. “I mean, we barely knew each other as people before we got involved. I didn't know how he felt about certain things.”

Benjamin nodded sagely. “It's good to get to know someone first, I guess.”

“Yeah, well, you people of the male persuasion don't usually
want to wait around for friendship to develop first,” Aisha said darkly. “You guys seem to think the order should be sex first. Everything else second.”

“Guys. We're such pigs,” Benjamin said. “So, you want to have sex?”

“Very funny,” Aisha said tolerantly. “Are you having a good time with Nina?”

“I always have a good time with Nina.”

“Yeah, but this is a different kind of good time, isn't it?”

Benjamin squirmed a little uncomfortably. “Not really.”

“You were holding hands.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you were dancing.”

“We're at a dance. What are we supposed to do? Juggle chain saws?”

“You two look good together,” Aisha said. “Sort of like if Christian Slater and Winona Ryder were going out. Cool, but not phony.”

Benjamin was ashamed to feel gratified by that comment. “Look, we're just friends at a dance together. Don't make a big thing out of it. We've been friends for a long time.”

“You never held her hand before. I mean, you and I are friends, right? We're at a dance together, right? You and I are not holding hands.”

Benjamin sighed irritably. “Is there any punch or cookies or anything left?”

“You know, you're blushing.”

“No I'm not.”

“All I'm saying is, Nina is a
hand-holding
type of friend. She's a
dance-with
type of friend. This is all new. She didn't use to be in either of those categories.”

“Things change,” Benjamin admitted.

“Don't get pissed off about it. Jeez, Benjamin, this is the way it should be. It's what I was just saying. First you're friends, then the other things. Very mature.”

Were there those other things? Benjamin wondered. But then, hadn't he wanted to hold her hand? He clenched and unclenched his hand unconsciously. Yes. He had enjoyed holding her hand.

And dancing? Yes, he'd liked that, too.

And there was no one whose company he enjoyed more.

Still, that didn't make it anything more than friendship, really. Did it?

“Friendship,” he muttered aloud, momentarily forgetting about Aisha. How did you know when friendship had become something more? How would he know if and when he crossed that line in his feelings for Nina?

“What did you say?” Aisha asked.

He shook his head. “Nothing. I was just mumbling.”

“Hey, Nina,” Aisha said.

Nina said something, but a group of girls nearby had burst out into a prolonged explosion of giggling.

“What?” he yelled.

She put her mouth close to his ear. He could smell her shampoo, her perfume. Her. Nina's breath tickled his ear. He realized his heart was beating fast again. And then he realized he desperately wanted her to stay just as near as she was.

His reaction almost made him laugh. So. Maybe the line had already been crossed without his noticing it.

“I said, I'm back,” Nina said.

“I'm glad,” he said.

It's time, Claire told herself heavily. Time to do what she had come here tonight to do.

“Come on, Jake,” she said softly, taking his hand.

“We've already danced a couple times,” Jake said stiffly.

“I know. I want to dance this dance.”

Jake sighed. “Well, I owe you, don't I?” he said sarcastically. “How can I say no?”

“One last dance, Jake. The very last.”

She drew him with her onto the floor. For a big guy he danced well, with more grace than would be expected of a
football player. Claire enjoyed the hard, washboard feel of his stomach and chest, the ridged muscles of his back, even though they were tense, as they had been all night.

He was fighting his feeling for her. She could see it in his eyes, and hear it in the strain of his voice.

“Jake, Jake,” she said wearily. “We have not been a lucky couple, have we?”

He shrugged his answer.

“It's enough to make me believe in fate. And I guess there's no fighting fate, is there?”

Again he didn't answer.

“For the record, Jake, I think you are an amazing, decent, sweet guy. One of a kind. I'm sorry about all the conflict I've caused in your life, and the pain.”

He met her gaze for almost the first time that night. He looked troubled.

“But this is it,” Claire said. “This has to be the end. It's either me or Wade. One of us had to lose and . . .” She took at deep breath. “. . . he's already lost all he could.”

“Claire—”

“No, don't, all right?” she said harshly. “This is hard enough. I really do care for you, and I know you care for me, so don't make me any sadder by saying it. There's just too much history between us. And to tell you the truth, I'm not a person
who can go around for long feeling guilty. I'm sorry about what happened two years ago. I'm sorry you can't deal with this without trying to destroy yourself. But you can't. Which leaves only one solution.”

His arms tightened around her, holding her close. She pressed her cheek against his shoulder and blotted her tears on his shirt.

He took her face with his hand and forced her to look at him. He kissed her for a long, still moment.

Then she took another deep breath. She let the emotion run out of her, turning her thoughts away. She thought of her widow's walk. She thought of how much she liked to be up there, watching the lightning illuminate the darkness, watching snow drift down to settle on the little town below.

She had always been able to do what she had to. And now she pulled away, leaving the warmth of Jake's arms. She turned and, with dry eyes, walked away.