Authors: Mazo de la Roche
Tags: #FIC045000 – FICTION / Sagas
Her father had been professor of English in a New York State college, a pedantic but gentle man, who loved to impart information to his wife and to instruct his daughter, but who, in matters other than scholastic, was led by them as a little child.
Her mother was the daughter of the principal of a small theological college in the state of Massachusetts, who had got into trouble more than once because of his advanced religious views—had, in fact, escaped serious trouble only
because of his personal magnetism and charm. These qualities his daughter had inherited from him, and had in her turn transmitted them to her own daughter Alayne.
Though an earnest little family who faced the problems of the day and their trips to Europe anxiously, they were often filled by the spirit of gentle fun. The grey bungalow resounded to professorial gaiety and the youthful response from Alayne. Professor and Mrs. Archer had married young, and they often remarked that Alayne was more like an adored young sister to them than a daughter. She had no intimate friends of her own age. Her parents sufficed. For several years before his death Professor Archer had been engaged in writing a history of the American Revolutionary War, and Alayne had thrown herself with enthusiasm into helping him with the work of research. Her admiration had been aroused for those dogged Loyalists who had left their homes and journeyed northward into Canada to suffer cold and privation for the sake of an idea. It was glorious, she thought, and told her father so. They had argued, and after that he had called her, laughingly, his little Britisher; and she had laughed, too, but she did not altogether like it, for she was proud of being an American. Still, one could see the other person’s side of a question.
Mr. Cory had been a lifelong friend of her father’s. When Professor Archer died, he came forward at once with his assistance. He helped Alayne to dispose of the bungalow by the golf links—those golf links where Alayne and her father had had many a happy game together, with her mother able to keep her eye on them from the upstairs sitting-room window; he had looked into the state of her father’s financial affairs for her, and had given her work in reading for the publishing house of Cory and Parsons.
The first blank grief, followed by the agony of realization, had passed, and Alayne’s life settled into a sad tranquillity. She had taken a small apartment near her work, and night after night she pored over her father’s manuscript, correcting, revising, worrying her young brain into fever over some debatable point. Oh, if he had only been there to settle it for her! To explain, to elucidate his own point of view, in his precise and impressive accents! In her solitude she could almost see his long thin scholar’s hands turning the pages, and tears swept down her cheeks in a storm, leaving them flushed and hot, so that she would have to go to the window, and press her face to the cool pane, or throw it open and lean out, gazing into the unfriendly street below.
The book was published. It created a good impression, and reviewers were perhaps a little kinder to it because of the recent death of the author. It was praised for its modern liberality. But a few critics pointed out errors and contradictions, and Alayne, holding herself responsible for these, suffered great humiliation. She accused herself of laxness and stupidity. Her dear father’s book! She became so white that Mr. Cory was worried about her. At last Mrs. Cory and he persuaded her to share an apartment with a friend of theirs, Rosamund Trent, a commercial artist, a woman of fifty.
Miss Trent was efficient, talkative, and nearly always good-humoured. It was when Alayne joined Miss Trent that she settled down into tranquillity. She read countless manuscripts, some of them very badly typed, and the literary editor of Cory and Parsons learned to rely on her judgment, especially in books other than fiction. In fiction her taste, formed by her parents, was perhaps too conventional, too fastidious. Many of the things she read in manuscript seemed horrid to her. And they had a disconcerting way of
cropping up in her mind afterward, like strange weeds that, even after they are uprooted and thrown away, appear again in unexpected places.
She would sit listening to Rosamund Trent’s good-humoured chatter, her chin in her curled palm, her eyes fixed on Miss Trent’s face, yet not all of her was present in the room. Another Alayne, crying like a deserted child, was wandering through the little bungalow; wandering about the garden among the rhododendrons and the roses, where the grass was like moist green velvet, and not a dead leaf was allowed by the professor to lie undisturbed; wandering, weeping over the links with the thin grey shadow of her father, turning to wave a hand to the watching mother in the window.
Sometimes the other Alayne was different, not sad and lonely but wild and questioning. Had life nothing richer for her than this? Reading, reading manuscripts, day in, day out, sitting at night with gaze bent on Miss Trent’s chattering face, or going to the Corys’ or some other house, meeting people who made no impression on her. Was she never going to have a real friend to whom she could confide everything—well, almost everything? Was she never—for the first time in her life she asked herself this question in grim earnest—was she never going to have a lover?
Oh, she had had admirers—not many, for she had not encouraged them. If she went out with them she was sure to miss something delightful that was happening at home. If they came to the house they seldom fitted in with the scheme of things. Sexually she was one of those women who develop slowly; who might, under certain conditions, marry, rear a family, and never have the wellspring of her passions unbound.
There had been one man who might almost have been called a lover, a colleague of her father’s, but several years younger. He had come to the house, first as her father’s friend, then more and more as hers. He had fitted into their serious discussions, even into their gaieties. Once he had gone to Europe with them. In Sorrento, on a morning when the spring was breaking and they had been walking up a narrow pathway across a hill, filled with the wonder of that ecstatic awakening, he had asked her to marry him. She had begged him to wait for his answer till they returned to America, for she was afraid that her delight was not in him but in Italy.
They had been back in America only a month when her mother was taken ill. The next two months were passed in heart-piercing suspense and agony. Then, at the end, she found herself alone. Again her father’s friend, in old-fashioned phrasing, which she loved in books but which did not move her in real life, asked her to marry him. He loved her and he wanted to care for her. She knew that her father had approved of him, but her heart was drained empty, and its aching spaces desired no new occupant.
When the manuscript of young Whiteoak’s book was given her to read, Alayne was in a mood of eager receptivity to beauty. The beauty, the simplicity, the splendid abandon of Eden’s lyrics filled her with a new joy. When the book appeared, she had an odd feeling of possession toward it. She rather hated seeing Miss Trent’s large plump hands caressing it—“Such a ducky little book, my dear!”—and she hated to hear her read from it, stressing the most striking phrases, sustaining the last word of each line with an upward lilt, of her throaty voice—“Sheer beauty, that bit, isn’t it, Alayne dear?” She felt ashamed of herself for grudging
Miss Trent her pleasure in the book, but she undoubtedly did grudge it.
She rather dreaded meeting Eden for fear he should be disappointing. Suppose be were short and thickset, with beady black eyes and a long upper lip. Suppose he had a hatchet face and wore horn-rimmed spectacles.
Well, however he looked, his mind was beautiful. But she had quaked as she entered the reception room.
When she saw him, standing tall and fair, with his crest of golden hair, his sensitive features, his steady but rather wistful smile, she was trembling, almost overcome with relief. He seemed to carry some of the radiance of his poetry about his own person. Those brilliant blue eyes in that tanned face! Oh, she could not have borne it had he not been beautiful!
It seemed as natural to her that they two should seek a quiet corner together, that he should, when the opportunity offered, take her hands in his and press ecstatic kisses upon them, as that two drops of dew should melt into one, or two sweet chords blend.
It seemed equally natural to her to say yes when, two weeks later, he asked her to marry him.
He had not intended to ask her that. He realized in his heart that it was madness to ask her, unless they agreed to a long engagement, but the autumn night was studded with stars and heavy with the teasing scents of burning leaves and salt air. They were gliding slowly along an ocean driveway in Rosamund Trent’s car. Rosamund was slouching over the wheel, silent for once, and they two in the back seat alone, in a world apart. He could no more stop himself from asking her to marry him than he could help writing a poem that burned to be expressed.
His love for her was a poem. Their life together would be an exquisite, enchanted poem, a continual inspiration for him. He could not do without her. The thought of holding her intimately in his arms gave him the tender sadness of a love poem to be written. Yet he must not ask her to marry him. He must not and—he did.
“Alayne, my beautiful darling—will you marry me?”
“Eden, Eden—” She could scarcely speak, for the love now filling her heart that had been drained empty of love almost drowned her senses. “Yes—I will marry you if you want me. I want you with all my soul.”
B
ELOVED
, I
T
I
S
M
ORN
“I
LIKE
your young poet immensely,” said Rosamund Trent. “He must be a delightful lover. But, Alayne dear—now you must not mind my saying this; I am so much older—don’t you think it is rather reckless to plunge into matrimony without waiting to see how he gets on in the world? You are both such dears, but you are so inexperienced. Here are you, giving up a good position, and going to a country you know nothing about, arranging to spend some months with a family you have never seen—”
“His sister,” said Alayne patiently, “has written me a delightful letter. They have a big old house. She seems to want me. Even the dear grandmother sent me a message of welcome. Then I have a little money of my own; I shall not be quite dependent. And if it were ever necessary, I—”
“Oh, my dear, I am sure it will be all right. But you are so precipitate. If you would only wait a little.”
“I have been waiting for Eden all these years!” exclaimed Alayne, flushing. “I realize that now. Neither he nor I feel like wasting any of the precious time we might be together. After we are married I shall visit his people, and Eden will
look about. If he cannot get into anything satisfactory that will leave him plenty of time in which to develop his talent, or if I do not like Canada, we shall come back to New York. I know he could have something with Mr. Cory in the publishing business, but—oh, I do not want him to do anything that will hamper him. I want him to live for his art.”
Miss Trent made a little gesture of impatience. Then she made a large gesture of great affection, and gathered Alayne to her heart.
“You two darlings!” she said. “I know it will be all right. And why waste time when you are young and beautiful!”
She realized that such were the glamour and wonder of Alayne’s feeling toward Eden that it was useless to reason with her. Alayne herself was conscious of such subtleties in her love for him that she felt at times bewildered. He was a young god of the sun, a strong deliverer from her prison of heartbreak; he was a fledgling genius; he was a stammering, sunburned, egotistical young Canadian with not too good an education; he was a blue-eyed, clinging-fingered child; he was a suddenly wooden and undemonstrative young Britisher. An evening with him excited her so that she could not sleep after it. And as she spent every evening with him, she grew drowsy-eyed from lying awake thinking of him. The curves of her mouth became more tender, more yielding from those same thoughts.
Eden had begun the letter to Meg telling her of his engagement in much trepidation. But as he wrote he gained confidence, and told of Alayne’s beauty, her endearing qualities, her influential friends who would be able to do so much for him in the publishing world. And she was independent— not an heiress, not the rich American girl of fiction; still, she would be a help, not a handicap to him. Meg was to believe that she was absolutely desirable.
The family at Jalna, always credulous, with imaginations easily stirred, snatched with avidity at the bare suggestion of means. They settled it among themselves that Alayne was a rich girl, and that Eden for some reason wished to depreciate her wealth.
“He’s afraid some of us will want to borrow a few bucks,” sneered Piers.
“He’d have never been such a fool as to marry if the girl had not had lots of brass,” growled Nicholas.
“He was bound to attract some cultivated rich woman with his talents, his looks, and his lovely manners,” said Meg, her smile of ineffable calm sweetness curving her lips. “I shall be very nice to her. Who knows, she may do something for the younger boys. American women are noted for their generosity. Wakefield is delicate and he’s very attractive. Finch is—”
“Neither delicate nor attractive,” put in Renny, grinning, and Finch, who was wrestling in a corner with his Latin, blushed a deep pink, and gave a snort of mingled amusement and embarrassment.
Grandmother shouted: “When is she coming? I must wear my cream-coloured cap with the purple ribbons.”
Piers said: “Eden always was an impulsive fool. I’ll bet he’s making a fool marriage.” He rather hoped that Eden was, for he found it hard to endure the thought of Eden’s making a marriage which would be welcomed by the whole family while he himself was continually forced to feel that he had made a mess of his life.
Meg wrote her letter to Alayne, inviting her to come to Jalna for as long as she liked. She was to consider Jalna her home. All the family were so happy in dear Eden’s happiness. Dear Grandmother sent her love. (“Have you got that down,
Meggie? That I send my love? Underline it. No mistake.”) Alayne was deeply touched by this letter.