Authors: Mazo de la Roche
Tags: #FIC045000 – FICTION / Sagas
It would not have been so bad, he thought, if Eden had not got up. But to help him half dress his emaciated body, that had once been so beautiful, to see him move about the room in the light-blue, slack-hanging dressing gown, to see him looking out of the frosted window at the snow, was almost beyond bearing.
Yet when, in late February, Eden had a third haemorrhage and did not get up from his bed again, what would Finch have not given to have seen him once more at the window!
Now Eden was a different being. His face was ravished to a sunken semblance of what it had been. He lay with his great eyes full of pleading, his sallow cheeks sunken, his mouth and teeth prominent.
He no longer wanted music or reading, and his preferences in the family were reversed. The presence of Augusta now worried him, while Meg’s warm arms comforted. Augusta now assisted in the work of the house, and this was a relief to her, for she was worn out with nursing and she was eighty-one.
He no longer liked to have Nicholas sit with him. His heavy body loomed too large. He was always heaving himself about in his chair. When he gave Eden a drink he spilled half of it. But Ernest was deft, gentle, and soothing.
But most of all he turned now to Renny. Here was the one he wanted. Here was the hand and the voice and the support he craved always to be at his side. It was Renny who sat up with him night after winter night.
So the clan helped him with the best that was in them. They went with him to the very gates through which he must pass alone.
The second week in March an advance copy of
Last Poems
was sent from the publisher. Finch carried the book to Eden. It had come on the morning post. Renny had just gone to lie down. Ernest was in the room.
Finch put the book, delicate, spring-like in colouring, into Eden’s hand. He took it meekly as he would take what was offered him. But he scarcely seemed to see it. A smell of sickness rose from the bed. Finch saw a basin underneath it stained with blood.
“It’s your book, Eden,” he said. “Do you like the way they’ve done it?”
Eden opened the book but he could not read.
Ernest came forward.
“How very nice,” he said, in a quavering voice. “How very nice.”
Eden closed the book and turned it over. He handed it back to Finch.
Then he looked with widening eyes at the two faces above him.
“Don’t leave me alone!” he said loudly, almost chanting the words. “I don’t want to be alone.”
But it was a week before he died.
Then one morning Renny came down to the dining room where Augusta and Meg and Finch were seated about the table. It was half-past seven and they were expecting him, for he had been with Eden since midnight.
He looked ghastly in the early morning light, and a stubble of red beard gave him a ruffianly appearance.
He stood inside the door and looked at them.
Finch started up. Meg put her hand to her mouth as though to stifle a cry. Augusta sat bolt upright.
“He’s gone,” said Renny hoarsely.
Meg threw herself on Finch’s breast, sobbing.
“Was there no warning?” asked Augusta. “Couldn’t you have called us?”
“No. I knew he was worse. But he went suddenly—just like that!” He made a decisive, sweeping gesture with his hand.
“Thank God!” said Augusta. “Poor boy! Poor boy!”
Meg loosed Finch’s arms from her. “I must go to him,” she sobbed.
But Finch caught at her skirt. “No, no,” he cried. “You mustn’t, Meggie!”
“Let her come,” said Renny. “I’ll take her.”
He put his arm about her and led her up the stairs.
W
INTER IN
S
PRINGTIME
T
HE COLD
did not abate in the following days. Rather, the wintry rigour increased. The hard round granules of snow were whipped by the north wind, as though in spite, against the cheeks of those who faced it. Miniature ponds of ice were uncovered by the wind, and others were concealed by it under the light snow.
Piers had faced the wind for some time, his fresh skin whipped to bright pink. The flesh of his cheeks was as firm and cold as a winter apple. His full red lips were compressed into an expression of stubborn reserve. He had walked into the village and was now walking back, in the direction of Vaughanlands, in response to a message from Renny.
What did Renny want with him, he wondered, as he approached the house. Something, he felt sure, that would be unpleasant, probably impossible, for him to do. He stood on the drive, determined not to go into the house, but to wait there until he was seen. The sight of the house, with its drawn blinds, the crepe fluttering on the door, made him withdraw still more into himself. He turned up the collar of his coat and stood motionless in the snow.
He had not long to wait. He saw a movement of one of the blinds, and, in a moment, Renny came from the back of the house. Against the purity of the snow his unkempt appearance was startling. The short dense growth of red beard gave his face a look both ruffianly and wan.
Piers looked at him enquiringly. It was not the first time he had seen him since Eden’s death yesterday morning, for it was Renny who had carried the news to Jalna. But surely he might have found an opportunity to make himself decent—not go about looking like the end of the world.
They looked steadily into each other’s eyes, like antagonists marking each other’s armour, then Renny said:
“I want you to come in to see him.”
Piers drew back.
“See him!” he repeated. “See him! You must have lost your reason!”
“No, I haven’t. I want you to come in to see him.”
“But, good God! Why should I see him now—when I did not come while he was living?”
“It’s different now.”
“If you think my feelings are different, you’re mistaken!”
Renny took him by the sleeve and said, in a tone almost cajoling:
“Come along. Come along—to please me!” Piers shook himself free.
“I don’t know why you are urging me to do this,” he said. “But I tell you, it’s useless. I won’t do it!”
A car turned in at the gate. Two people alighted and went to the door. The brothers drew out of sight behind the hedge.
“They won’t be long,” said Renny. “We’ll go in then.”
Piers kept his temper with an effort. He said, in a hard voice:
“I refuse to go into that house while he is there. Why do you ask me?”
“Because,” answered Renny, “I want you to be one of the pallbearers.”
This was what Piers had dreaded. He said at once:
“I can’t do it!”
Renny returned—“If you saw him you couldn’t refuse.”
Piers burst out—“I think it’s damned hard luck to be asked to do this! I’d never ask it of you—if you were in my place.”
Renny broke a clear, bright icicle from a snow-laden bough of spruce and bit a piece from it, holding it in his parched mouth until it dissolved. He did not speak.
Piers continued—“I see now what you’re thinking. You’re thinking what people will say—if I don’t help to carry him.”
“Well, it’s partly that but there’s another reason. As to what people will say—you don’t want to give them a chance to gossip, do you? They’d say you were bitter against Eden. They’d be certain why. They’d be certain it was jealousy. Very well—don’t give them the opening. Then the other reason: I’ve always tried to keep the family together. I’ve liked to feel that those gone on ahead knew I was doing it. It’s been my religion—all I’ve had—I guess. You boys—one of you is gone now—have been a part of my love for Jalna. I can’t bear to think that one of you could hate another so that he wouldn’t touch his dead body… That’s why I want you to see Eden. You’ll feel quite different when you do.”
Piers looked at him standing there bare-headed, unprotected from the weather. He remembered all he had been through, the harassment, the loss of sleep, the agonising sights of which he must have been the witness. He
recognised in him a formidable power, almost a menace. He drew from Piers a kind of angry compassion.
Piers said—“I’ll go into the house with you. You’ll get a chill out here. But I won’t promise anything.”
“Good boy” said Renny, and gave his arm a squeeze.
Piers pushed out his lips. He said:
“Isn’t it time you had a shave? And you need sleep, too, by the look of your eyes. Can’t Maurice and Finch attend to things?”
They found Finch in the dining room drinking a glass of whiskey and soda. The glass shook against his teeth. The remains of a meal lay on the table.
Renny gave him a sharp look.
“Another!” he exclaimed. “Let that be the last.”
“I know when I’ve had enough,” said Finch truculently, “without being told by anyone. I can’t eat, and I’ve got to keep up, haven’t I?”
Renny took the glass from his hand and set it on the sideboard. “You ought to be ashamed of yourself,” he said.
Meg came into the room. She had on a new black dress which accentuated the pallor of her round face and the blue-ness of her eyes. The strands of grey hair springing from either temple gave her a maternal dignity. She carried a wreath of red and white roses. When she saw Piers her eyes, which she had just dried, again filled with tears.
He went to her and kissed her.
“I’ve been expecting you,” she said, and there was reproach in her voice. “But better late than never, Piers.”
Renny asked—“Have those people gone?”
“Yes. It was Mrs. Page and her son. These flowers just came from the Miss Laceys. What do you think of the red roses? Red seems rather strange in a wreath, doesn’t it?”
“Red is beautiful in a wreath,” said Finch heavily. “Red is a beautiful colour. A beautiful and terrible colour. It’s a tragic colour. Why—” he looked wildly at his sister and brothers— “I’d cover his coffin with red roses.”
“Sh,” said Meg. “Don’t speak so loudly.”
“Why not? We won’t disturb Eden.”
Renny said in an undertone to Meg:
“Finch has been drinking.”
“But how disgraceful! Oh, Finch, how could you?”
“Don’t talk to me,” he returned. “I’ve done my part. I’ve been here through the thick of it! I’m not like that cold-eyed brute”—he raised his hand toward Piers—“that cold-eyed brute—”
Piers turned white. “Now I’ve seen you, Meg, I’ll go.”
Renny led Finch to the door and pushed him through it.
Meg cried—“Go, Piers? Go? And not see our poor darling? Oh, Piers, you couldn’t be so cruel!”
“Why should I see him?” he demanded. “What good can it do? I wish to God I’d never come here!”
She clasped Piers’s arm in her hands.
“No, no, don’t say that! I say that a Will stronger than yours led you here. There is Someone, you know, Piers, Who watches all our doings…”
Piers stared at the floor.
Renny stood, with his back to the door, watching them. Then he saw that there was danger of the flowers being crushed, and came and took the wreath from Meg’s arms and laid it on the table. He replaced one of the roses which had been disarranged, He did not speak but waited to see what Piers would do.
Meg rested her pale cheek against Piers’s shoulder. Her fingers held his tightly. He felt trapped. He ceased to think
clearly, and stood looking stupidly at the carpet. After a little he drew a deep breath and said:
“Very well, I’ll go.”
Meg turned to Renny. “Will you go with him?”
He nodded. He picked up the wreath. “We may as well take this with us,” he said.
In the parlour the blinds were drawn but a shaft of flickering wintry sunlight fell across the room. Renny laid the flowers on the foot of the coffin. He turned away then, and Piers heard the door close behind him.
He stood alone looking at the shaft of sunlight. He thought how cold the room was and noticed that one of the windows was raised a little and that snow had sifted beneath it and lay in a slender ridge along the sill.
If he chose, he thought, he could stand where he was for a few moments, then go out without having seen Eden. No one would know. He stood hesitating.
But he was spurred by a sudden curiosity. He advanced steadily to the coffin and looked down on to his brother’s face… All else in the room dissolved as in a mist. Only Eden was real, holding Piers’s gaze with a terrible fascination. But—was this Eden? Was this man Eden? Was it possible that this was Eden? Why, he said to himself, looking at all that was real in the room, this is Eden! I can’t believe it… But this is Eden. This is the one I played with as a boy… This is the one I grew up with… Who seduced my wife… But was it possible that the cold, aloof, bitterly smiling lips had ever softened in desire for a woman? Gran had looked peaceful in her coffin. Haughty—but at peace. There was no peace here—only cold, aloof rigidity. The personification of disdainful suffering. If the salt of the sea had chosen to solidify itself into the semblance of a man surely it would have
stretched itself on the rock in just such bitter composure… And those hands… Piers stretched out his own strong warm hand and touched them timidly. Those hands had gripped him in play when they were boys. Those hands had done Eden’s bidding all his life long. Those hands had—Piers set his teeth and turned away… The scent of the flowers was stifling.
Meg’s cat, which was accustomed to take her ease in this room, leaped to the windowsill. Piers saw her eyes staring anxiously at him through the open crack. He put up the blind a little and she reared herself on her hind legs, pawing on the frosty pane, showing her furry white belly. She opened her mouth slightly and uttered an imploring mew.
The door opened and Renny came in again. He went to the window, put it down sharply. He struck the glass with his knuckles, frightening the cat away. He drew down the blind. He kept his eyes turned from Piers’s face. He asked:
“Does he look at all natural to you?”
“No,” answered Piers. “I should not have known him.”
Renny went to the coffin. “Did you see this?” he asked.
Piers followed him. “No. What?”
“This.” Renny pointed where, secure between Eden’s arm and side, was the volume of
Last Poems.
“Finch did that,” Renny said. “He’s a strange fellow.”