She looked down at her own blue label and steeled herself. She was a B. For now.
Quickly she got ready, raced downstairs, ate her breakfast and cleared the table. Then she said goodbye to her parents and left the house.
Evie glanced around as she walked towards the building where she worked, looking to see if Raffy was there. He wasn’t. And in many ways, she was relieved. Of course there was a little thud of disappointment, too, but she told herself it was a good thing, on balance. Today was the day she was going to stop her mind drifting into places it had no right to drift; today was the day she was going to stop dreaming, stop questioning.
She walked purposefully up the steps to her building, put her things in her locker and went up to her Unit. Smiling brightly at the supervisor, she took her reports and sat down at her desk.
‘Morning,’ she said to Christine, who was already there.
Christine looked at her enquiringly. ‘You’re very cheerful,’ she said under her breath. ‘What’s happened?’
‘Nothing,’ Evie said quickly. ‘Nothing’s happened at all.’
Christine digested this, then leant a little closer. ‘I had a visit last night from Alfie Cooper. My parents arranged it.’
Evie turned quickly. She vaguely recalled Alfie; he’d been a couple of years older than them at school. He’d been a rather round boy, prone to crying as far as she could remember. ‘A visit? Did it go well?’
Christine pulled a slight face. ‘Yes,’ she said hesitantly. ‘I mean, I think so. He talked to my parents more than me. I didn’t know what to say.’
‘You think you’re going to be matched with him?’ Evie asked.
Christine shrugged lightly. ‘I don’t know,’ she replied, then allowed herself a little smile. ‘You know he’s an A? Like Lucas?’
‘An A!’ said Evie, trying to look enthusiastic. Christine was a B, like her. Like most of the girls in the room. ‘Well, that’s great.’
‘Yes, it is, isn’t it?’ Christine said excitedly. ‘I mean, if he’s an A then it means he’s a really good person. Like Lucas. Kind and thoughtful, full of goodness. So he’ll make me happy. That’s what my mother said. And she’s right, isn’t she?’
She looked so convinced, so happy. Evie nodded. She was right. A’s were good. Lucas
was
good. It was only because Evie wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate it. ‘Of course she’s right,’ she said. ‘I hope it goes well.’
‘Me too,’ Christine whispered, then turned back to her work. Evie did the same, head down like all the operators, their fingers clacking on their keyboards as labels were changed and protocols followed.
An hour went by, then another. And then everything stopped. Suddenly the computers went dead. Evie thought she’d done something wrong to start with, carried on pressing her keys to bring her computer back to life, but then she saw Christine was doing the same and soon everyone was exchanging glances – glances of fear, of uncertainty, excitement and anticipation. Christine put up her hand and told the supervisor, who walked over suspiciously, then stared in disbelief at the screens and told everyone to turn their computers on again, like they’d done it on purpose, like this was some kind of joke.
Then one of the managers appeared at the door. The supervisor went over and listened to him say something, then she returned, a serious look on her face.
‘Okay, everyone. It’s a drill,’ she said. ‘A security drill. Please walk silently and sensibly out of the building to the courtyard at the back. Please stay together and await further instruction.’
They walked silently; no one disobeyed orders in the City. Nonetheless, by the time Evie had got outside to the courtyard, the rumours had permeated in whispers and exchanged glances. There was something wrong with the System. It had a glitch. And apparently Raffy had found it.
Not that anyone called him Raffy – to everyone else he was Raphael, spoken with an emphasis on the ‘Ra’, with knowing looks and a slight pause before and after. ‘Raphael’ – as though that explained everything.
Lucas was the only other person Evie had ever heard shortening Raphael’s name to Raffy; to her it was his only name, the only thing she’d ever called him. The name was a gypsy name, her mother had told her. Dangerous. Dirty. But it wasn’t just his name that unsettled people; it was everything about him. Raffy wore his hair long – or as long as regulations would allow – not short around the ears like everyone else, and his eyes were full of questions, just as Evie knew hers would be if she let them. Her mother had been right; he never seemed to have any friends – apart from his brother, Evie never saw him with anyone. He always seemed to be alone, observing, brooding, and the other boys seemed wary of him. Evie wasn’t surprised: there was something about Raffy that put people on their guard. His muscles were taut and lean; he looked constantly primed for action. She sometimes wondered what action he was primed for, what it would feel like to run with him, out in the open, and to feel the wind in her hair.
But she knew she never would. And anyway, the truth was that the gypsies from her mother’s stories never wound up happy. Mostly they ended up destitute and alone.
As Evie and her Unit congregated in the courtyard, forming a neat line joining several other neat lines, she looked around anxiously. She could feel an energy in the air – expectation, excitement. Or was it fear? Never before had the government buildings been evacuated, except for the carefully orchestrated and pre-planned fire tests which happened once a year. Everyone was pretending to be silent and thoughtful, but eyes were darting around curiously, glances were being exchanged, eyebrows raised, and whispers so quiet they were almost silent, nevertheless travelled between the ranks. A glitch. A glitch in the System. Was a glitch a fault? What did it mean? What would happen?
Evie shared the glances, felt the tension in the air like everyone else. But she had more tension of her own, more expectation, more excitement. Every time she heard footsteps behind her she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. And every time the footsteps continued or stopped, telling her that it wasn’t Raffy, she felt a prick of disappointment, which she inwardly chastised herself for. Had he really discovered it? Did that make him a hero? Or was he being blamed again for something he didn’t do? Were people just assuming it was him because . . . well, because he was Raffy? The same reason her parents wouldn’t allow her to associate with him in any way, not even to say ‘hello’ at the weekly Gathering. The same reason he seemed to have no friends; the same reason the teacher at their pre-school had always seemed extra harsh when disciplining Raffy.
Because he was ‘like his father’.
Her supervisor appeared and immediately the whispering stopped. ‘The System is being rebooted,’ she declared, her voice hushed, eyes staring at each of them in turn. ‘Just wait outside until you’re told to go in. Everything is as it should be. Everything is fine.’ Evie nodded, as did Christine and the others. But she knew they were all thinking the same thing she was: it wasn’t routine. Otherwise it would have happened before.
Then someone came out into the courtyard with the manager and everyone looked over, and the supervisor’s sharp intake of breath told them everything they needed to know. Because the person who came out with the manager was Raffy.
Hundreds of eyes silently followed Raffy as he crossed the yard to join his Unit, the manager walking behind him. Evie’s stomach was full of butterflies as he walked, his eyes darting around, and she wanted to shout, ‘Over here, I’m over here,’ but she couldn’t, and anyway, she knew it would be dangerous if he looked in her direction, if anyone else saw.
Christine stared at Evie, allowed her head the tiniest of shakes. ‘Raphael,’ her eyes said. ‘Told you so.’
The manager called the supervisors over and they huddled in the corner, talking in low voices and allowing everyone else the opportunity to whisper to each other again.
‘Freak,’ Christine said immediately. ‘I bet he created the glitch. He shouldn’t be allowed to work here. I can’t even believe he’s a B, to be honest. But he won’t be for long. System glitch? He’s up to something.’
‘He’s not a freak,’ Evie replied before she could stop herself. ‘You don’t know anything.’
Christine looked taken aback. She wasn’t used to being contradicted. Not about something like this, that everyone agreed on. ‘Evie,’ she whispered. ‘Evie, don’t defend him just because you’re going to marry his brother. You don’t have to, anyway; Lucas knows he’s a freak, too. That’s why he babysits him all the time. My brother went to school with Raphael and he says he’s weird. He asks strange questions. He’s got strange eyes. If you ask me, he’s going to end up like his father. If you ask me, he should, too. You can see the evil in him. He’s a K, Evie. A K just waiting to happen.’ She shook her head sadly and let out a long sigh.
Evie felt her stomach clench with fear and anger. No one ever mentioned the K label. Ever. And Christine was wrong; Raffy didn’t have strange eyes. He had mesmerising, intense, brooding eyes. Eyes full of passion, full of questions, full of longing.
‘Okay, the System has been rebooted,’ a voice called out suddenly from the door of the building, one of the managers. ‘Please file back into the building as your Unit is called. Unit 1 first, please. As stated, this was just a routine operation. But no word of this will be repeated outside of these walls. The System will be watching you. Thank you.’
Everyone started to move; people were walking back into the building. Evie shot one last look over at Raffy, hoping against hope that he might look up, that he might . . .
‘Evie. So sorry about this disruption.’ Raffy had just that minute seen her, caught her eye. She looked up, startled, to see Lucas standing next to her. He smiled at her supervisor, who immediately smiled and blushed.
‘We will see you inside,’ she said to Evie. As Mrs Johnson ushered the other girls into the building, Evie tried to ignore their craned necks turning to stare at her and at Lucas. As well as being tall and handsome, he was a senior manager, and highly respected. He smiled at her and as she looked into his eyes she searched for something, a flicker, something that might make her feel or understand – something that might give her hope, cure her, save her. But all she saw was blue, an ocean of it; a blank ocean that said nothing to her. No longing, no passion.
‘Just a reboot,’ Lucas said with a little shrug. ‘Inconvenient but there we are. Are you keeping well?’
‘Very well,’ Evie answered, forcing her eyes to stay on him and not flicker over to where she knew Raffy was standing, staring at her, willing her to look at him. ‘And you? Are you well? Your family?’
‘Very well,’ Lucas smiled, his symmetrical face barely creasing, Evie noticed. He was perfect, just as everyone always said he was. There would be no flicker in his eye, because A’s did not have flickers. Flickers were weaknesses. Lucas had no knowledge of emotions, of fears, of dreams that consumed and scared. His hair was efficiently short, his clothes never wrinkled. She had never seen his temper flare or seen him lose control. That was what it was to be good – she saw that now, suddenly.
And that’s why people hated Raffy. Christine didn’t see wild passion in Raffy’s eyes; she saw raw, dangerous emotion.
‘And your brother?’ The words came out before she could stop them. There would be no saving herself. There would be no hope. ‘I saw that he’s—’
‘Raphael is fine,’ Lucas interrupted quickly, his smile freezing on his face. ‘He will be fine, anyway. The System will have him under close observation.’ He pulled his sleeve up and looked at the gold watch that Raffy despised. The watch had appeared on Lucas’s wrist the day after their father disappeared; Raffy had told Evie that it had been Lucas’s reward for betraying him. Now, as Evie looked at it, she found herself recoiling. The System was going to be watching Raffy more closely? What did that mean? How did Lucas know? ‘Now, more importantly,’ he continued, ‘I must come over to your house one of these evenings. I shall secure an invitation from your father tomorrow. If you’re happy for me to do so?’
‘Of course I am,’ Evie said, wishing that she
was
happy, and not full of despair.
‘Wonderful. Well, look after yourself. See you soon, Evie.’ He leant forward as though to kiss her; Evie, who had never kissed him before, froze, uncertain about what she should do, whether such a thing was allowed at work. She remembered just in time that Lucas was a senior manager as well as her fiancé, that of course it was allowed if he was the one doing it. But as she leant in, her face turned, just slightly, just enough to ensure that Lucas’s lips didn’t quite reach hers, and the kiss settled just to the side of them. An efficient kiss. So different from Raffy’s. Then, as quickly as his head had moved towards her, it retracted; another smile, and he was gone, marching off towards the manager.
Evie watched him for a second, wondering what he was thinking, then remembered that he wouldn’t be thinking anything. He would be focused on his work, on being productive, being a good citizen. As the Brother said, being a truly good citizen meant thinking very little. The System and the Great Leader did the thinking for them. They just had to do what was asked of them, with good grace, and with a determination to be good, honourable and true.
Slowly, Evie turned and walked back into the building. But as she approached the door, she could hear footsteps behind her; quick, urgent footsteps. She stopped, stepped aside, then froze. It was Raffy, and his supervisor was running after him. ‘Raphael, do not run. Come back here. Come back . . .’
As he passed, Raffy stumbled and fell against her; Evie gasped, through the shock of touching him more than anything, the surprise and exhilaration at feeling his weight heavy on her.
‘Don’t kiss him again,’ he whispered as his hand pressed against the wall next to her to pull himself up, making it look like the stumble had been an accident. ‘Don’t ever kiss him.’
‘Come on,’ the supervisor muttered impatiently. ‘Sorry about this,’ he said to Evie.
‘No, I . . . it’s no problem,’ she replied.
‘Sorry,’ Raffy said loudly to her and the supervisor. ‘I just lost my footing. I’m really sorry.’