Authors: Mary Renault
I answered that I was sorry to lose his company, which was true, though I thought too that now I could race the horses. Then I looked at his face again. "What is it, Father? You have had news, and bad news too."
"It is nothing," he said. "But business keeps me. Take out your horses, boy. But have them brought round below the postern, and go down yourself by the stair. I don't wish you to cross the market place."
I stared at him frowning, and said, "Why not?" It was in my mind that I had just fought a war for him; and this was my feast of manhood.
He straightened his neck, and answered sharply, "Sometimes you must obey without asking reasons."
I tried not to be angry. He was King, and his counsel was his own to keep. But something of moment was going on; it drove me mad to be in ignorance; besides, being young and cocksure I thought he would bungle it without me. "And I shall pay for it," I thought, "When my day comes, if I live so long."
I felt anger take hold of me, and put myself in mind of my duty and his goodness, and closed my teeth and hands. I found I was shaking all over, and even sweating, like a horse that is both reined and spurred.
"You should trust me," he said fretfully, "to have your good in mind."
I swallowed, and said slowly, "It seems we have counted wrong, sir. I am not a man today, but still a child."
"Do not be angry, Theseus." There was even pleading in his voice. I thought, "I must do as he says; he has loaded me down with kindness; he is my father, he is King and priest; thrice sacred to Ever-Living Zeus." And then I thought, "He has not strength to face out even me; what work does he mean to put that shaking hand to?" But I felt myself shaking worse than he. I was afraid of myself, and of I knew not what, as if some dark shape hovered between me and the sun.
While I stood silent, a man came out from the Palace; one of the House Barons, a dull slow fellow. "King Aigeus," he said, "I have looked for you everywhere. The boys and girls are all ready in the market place: and the Cretan captain is saying that if you do not come, he won't wait for the lottery, but will choose fourteen for himself."
My father drew in a harsh breath and said softly, "Get out, you fool." He stared and went. We were left looking at one another.
Presently I said, "Father, I'm sorry I was hasty, when you've trouble enough. But why in the world did you not tell me this?" He did not answer, but passed his hand across his brows. I said, "To run off down the postern, and slip away; what kind of fool would that make of me? Thunder of Zeus! I am Lord of Eleusis. Even Cretan insolence won't reach to carrying off a king. Why should I hide myself? I ought to be down there now, in my old clothes, showing the people I don't feast while they are mourning. And, besides, I must send my Companions home. It is not seemly to have them walking about while Athenian boys are taken; such things make ill-feeling. Where is the herald? I want them called in."
Still he stood silent. My skin crept, like a dog's before a storm. "Yes?" I said. "What is it?"
He answered at last, "You cannot call them now. The Cretans came early: they were rounded up with the rest."
I took a step forward and said, "What?"
I had spoken louder than I meant. The horses were startled; I motioned the groom to take them away. "Father," I said at last, "was this well done? I am answerable for them to my people." Trying not to shout, I was almost whispering; I could not trust myself. I said, "How dared you keep this from me?"
"You are too hot," he said, "to meet the Cretans in anger." I saw he was close to tears; it put me nearly beside myself. "There was a brawl here once before, and one of their princes was killed. This tribute is the fine for it. Next time, they would send a hundred ships and lay waste the land. What could I do? What could I do?"
This sobered me. I felt he had judged me justly. "Very well, Father, I will take care not to make trouble. But I must go at once and get my men away. What are they thinking of me, all this while?"
He shook his head. "King Minos hears everything. He knows the kingdoms are joined now. I don't think he will forgo his claim."
"But," I said, grasping my dagger hilt and trying to be steady, "I swore to them they should not join Athens to their loss."
He stood in thought, rubbing his chin. "If the lot should happen to fall on a man of yours, you would have a good case for having your own tribute remitted. Sometimes, Theseus, it is expedient one man should perish for the sake of the people."
I lifted my hand to my head. My ears were ringing. He went on, "They are only Minyans, not Hellenes, when all is said."
The ringing dinned in my ears, rising and falling. I shouted, "Minyan, Hellene, what does it matter? I have vowed to stand for them to the god. What does this make me? What am I?"
He said something; that I was his son, and Shepherd of Athens. I could just hear him, like a voice beyond a wall. I pressed my clenched fist against my brow. "Father!" I said. "What shall I do?" but once the words were out of my mouth, I knew it was not to him that I had spoken. Presently my head quieted a little, and then I could hear him, asking if I was sick.
"No, sir," I said. "I am better; I see what I must do, to save my honor. If they will not free my people, I must take the luck of the draw myself, just like the others."
"You?" he said, opening his mouth and eyes. "Are you mad, boy?" Then his face closed up again, and he stroked his beard. "Well, well," he said at last, "you were right when you went back to Eleusis. You have a feeling for such things. It will make the people patient, if you stand among them. Yes, after all, it is a good thought."
I was glad to see him calm again. I put my hand on his arm. "Don't be anxious, Father. The god won't take me if it is not my fate. I'll change these clothes and come back." I went off running, and flung on the first thing that came to hand, a hunting-suit of undyed doeskin with green tassels down the sides of the thighs. I hardly looked at it then; but I got to know it later. My father was where I had left him; a chamberlain he had been giving orders to was hurrying off.
From the North Terrace one could see down to the market place. It had been cleared of its stock pens and stalls for the festival. The boys and girls were standing on the north side, where the altar is to All the Gods. As we went down, we heard the wailing.
By the time we got there, the Cretans had been over them. The tall ones and the fat ones, the sick and halt and lackwit, had been let go; the little quick ones, the strong and slim, remained; youths on the right and maidens on the left. Or so it had begun; but some had run together in the middle, and you could tell, from the way they stood, which had been openly betrothed and which had kept their secret till today. Many of the girls were almost children. Only virgins could be bull-dancers; there was a rush of weddings before tribute-time. The Cretans always brought a priestess with them, to settle arguments.
A good third of my Companions were there among the boys. As I came nearer, they waved their hands. I saw they looked to be free at once, now I was here. I waved back, as if I thought so too. Then I felt eyes in my back, and saw the Athenians looking at me. I knew what they were thinking, as they saw me walking free at my father's side. Penned up for the lottery I could see boys not sixteen years old, the same height as I. I remembered my grandfather telling me I was just the build for it. My heart felt sick with it all, sick and angry. I turned to the Cretans.
At the first sight of them I started; for they were black. I had forgotten Minos' foreign levies. They had on leopard-skin kilts and helmets made of horses' scalps, with the manes and ears. Their shields were black and white, from some striped beast unknown to me. Their glossy shoulders gleamed in the sun, and they rolled up their eyes to look at the Citadel, showing the whites. Otherwise they were quite still, as I had never seen troops still before, shields and javelins all in line, one body with a hundred heads. In front was the Captain, the only Cretan there.
My notion of Cretans I had got from those who came to Troizen. I should have guessed that those were merchants, aping the airs of Knossos Palace where no one knew the difference. Here stood the pattern; and I saw the copies had been poor.
This one too looked girlish at first glance. He was dressed for parade, bareheaded; a pretty black boy held his helmet and shield. His dark hair, rippling and sleek like a woman's, fell to his waist behind, and his face was shaved so smooth it took time to see he was near thirty. His only garments were a thick rolled belt round his slim middle, and a loin-guard of gilded bronze. Round his neck was a deep collar of gold and crystal beads. All this I saw before he deigned to look at me; this and the way he stood; like a painting done on a wall of a princely victor, whom words do not touch, nor time and change, nor tears, nor anger; but he will stand so in his ease and pride, and uncaring, till war or earthquake shakes down the wall.
I went over, and he looked up at me under his long black lashes. He was about two thumbs shorter, and let me see clearly that this was the proper height for a gentleman. Before I had opened my mouth, he said, "I, am sorry, but unless you have exemption in writing, I can do nothing at all."
Feeling myself get angry, I kept my father's words in mind, and said quietly, "It is no such matter. I am Theseus, King of Eleusis." He said, "I must beg your pardon," with cool civility and no pretense of shame. "You have over there," I said to him, "a dozen young men of my bodyguard, all those who are still beardless. They are guests in Athens. You will have to wait, while I fetch them out."
He raised his brows. "I am instructed that Eleusis is in vassalage to Athens now; a feoff of the King's heir, whom, I take it, I have the honor to speak with." It was like talking to a man of polished bronze.
"I am no one's vassal," I said. "Eleusis is my kingdom. I killed the last King according to custom." He lifted his brows into his curled hair. "And," I said, "our tribute, paid two-yearly, is corn, so much, and so much wine." I have a good memory for such things.
"Well," he said in his light hard voice, "if you had applied in writing to the Treasury, it might have been looked into. I am not an assessor; I collect where I am told. Kings, after all, are a good many in these parts. In Crete we have only one."
My hands itched to pick him up and break him across my knee. But I remembered the people. He saw I was angry, and said without any heat, "Believe me, Prince, this lottery is no choice of mine. It is an inconvenience I put up with. I consider the customs of the place, wherever I can. In Corinth, when I come into port I find the boys and girls ready on the quayside. It saves me time and trouble, as you may suppose."
"No doubt," I said. "Whereas in Athens you must wait while justice is done, and the people witness it."
"Yes, yes; that is understood. Clearly, then, I cannot consider what you ask. See for yourself how it will look, if you go about picking out this lad and that. The people will suppose that at your age you will hardly act without your father's knowledge; that the sons of his friends are being begged off, or perhaps some youth dear to yourself. Then we shall have trouble. I am putting up with all this delay; but a riot I cannot do with. Believe me, I know something of these things."
I kept my hands off him, and even my voice down. I only said, "You have not been half a day here. Are you telling me what the people think?"
"No offense," he said lightly. "I am telling you what I know. You, or your father rather, chose this custom. Well, I consent to it, cumbrous as it is; but I will see it carried out. That is my last word, I am afraid. Where are you going?"
His voice had changed; a ripple went through the line of black warriors behind him, like the ripple on a leopard's back before it springs.
I turned back, and said so that I could be heard, "I am going to join my people, and share the lot of the god."
I heard a deep sound of voices, and saw my father looking here and there. As I walked on, a touch on my shoulder made me start. I turned; there was the Cretan Captain. He had left his men in line, and run after me on his small light feet.
Speaking softly in my ear, he said, "Think again. Don't let the glory and the glitter fool you. A good bull-dancer lasts six months at best. Listen; if you want to see the world, I can get you employment in the Little Palace; you can sail with us free."
I had nothing now to lose by pleasing myself, so I said, "Send me your big brother, little lady, and let him ask me to serve Minos for pay." As I turned from him I saw his quick dark eyes, not very angry but sharp and reckoning.
I crossed the market place, and stood with the Companions. They reached out and drew me in, and clapped me on the back, just as in the old days when I was only a year-king. A sound ran round the market place, dull at first, then loud. The Athenians were cheering; I was amazed at it, seeing their trouble. "Truly," I thought, "these are my people too; now I can stand for all of them."
They set a table before my father, and put on it two great round bowls with painted borders. He said to the people, "Here are the lots, Athenians, with your children's names. And here is the lot for my son." He dropped the potsherd clinking into the right-hand bowl, and the people cheered again. Then he called the Cretan Captain, as a stranger without kindred here, to stir the bowls. As he did it with his spear butt, looking as if he found it tedious, my father lifted his hands and invoked the god, asking him to choose the sacrifice himself, and hailing him as Earth-Shaker, Lover of Bulls. At these words, the witch's curse came to my mind, and my neck shivered. I looked at my father, but he kept his countenance well.
They drew first for the girls. The Priest of Poseidon, blindfold, put his hand into the bowl, and gave the shred to my father, who gave it to the herald to read the name. Each time I saw the faces of the kindred, fixed on the sherd, so that the line of faces was like one long pale serpent filled with eyes. Then the name would be read and a family would cry and wail, or a man run out from somewhere and start fighting the guards till they knocked him down. And for a few moments all the rest would be glad, till the next sherd was drawn. Only the last girl was so fair and gentle-eyed and young that not only her own folk, but everybody, wept for her. The blacks formed round them in a hollow square, to keep off the people. Then it was time for the youths.