The Lady Who Lived Again (27 page)

Shoving away any stubborn misgivings about the risk they were taking, he hurried through the lobby. Maddie wanted this as badly as he did. And he wanted nothing more than to give her what she wanted. What was wrong with partaking in a brief affair between like-minded adults? They were both committed to remaining unmarried, so it stood to reason they’d commit to each other. For the weekend, anyway.

He jogged up the stairs, rounded the corner, and came face to face with Amelia.

“Jace,” she gasped.

He felt like a child caught in mischief, and his throat thickened as he sought something to say. “I…”

“No need to explain yourself to me,” she said with a wave. “But I would like a quick word with you, if you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” he said, though he very much minded.

“I’ve known Maddie for a long time,” she began. “And she’s explained the circumstances of your engagement.” Amelia regarded him closely. “Or rather, your pretend engagement. I’ve also noticed the way she looks at you,” Amelia continued. “Maddie has been through a lot, and I’ve no wish to see her hurt.”

“Neither do I.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” she said with a nod. “So before you proceed to her room, I hope you’ll consider what’s best for her?”

Jace narrowed his eyes. “And what’s that?”

“Maddie must leave Misty Lake, Jace. You know this as well as I do. For goodness sake, you saw all of them down there tonight. It’s the only way she can have the future she deserves.”

“Isn’t that up to her to decide?”

“Yes.” She nodded, red curls bouncing above her stern eyes. “But she won’t consider it if she’s in love with you.”

Jace stiffened. “She’s not in love with me.”

Amelia tilted her head. “Are you sure about that?”

Jace stared in silence, not sure of anything. Of course Maddie was drawn to him. She was lonely, and he was the first man to show her any attention in three long years. But love?

“I know it’s none of my business, but Maddie is my friend. If you’re not prepared to make a future with her, perhaps you shouldn’t let your involvement with her go any deeper. Being as it’s well past midnight, and you’re about to sneak into her room, I can only assume that’s what will occur if you continue this course. You care for her. Anyone can see that. But you must do what is right for her.”

“She won’t leave her grandfather. And even if she would, where do you propose she go?”

“Boston.”

Jace blinked at the ready response.

Amelia lifted her chin. “Philip loves her. I suspect he always has. My cousin has confided to me that, if given the opportunity, he’d like nothing more than to take Maddie to Boston and make her his wife.”

Jace clenched his fists so hard he was sure he’d drawn blood. “Is that so?”

“Yes. I only tell you this now because I wonder if that wouldn’t be the ideal thing. To finally get her away from this town and the people who torment her.” Amelia’s face filled with distress. “I’m beginning to fear for her safety. Dolly mentioned some threats.” Amelia touched Jace’s arm. “Perhaps if you persuaded her…”

Jace didn’t know what to say. Threats or no threats, Amelia was right. Jace had known all along that Maddie should leave town, but he didn’t want her to go. Even if he claimed her for his own, she could never be happy here. These fools wouldn’t allow it.

He pictured Maddie and Philip together, and his chest clenched along with his fists. He had no doubt Philip was in love with Maddie and would do his darndest to make her happy. The thought should have comforted Jace in some slight way, but instead, he felt suffocated.

“Think about it. Please.” Amelia gave his arm a soft squeeze. “You’re a good man, Jace Merrick. You’ll do the decent thing, I’m sure.”

She descended the stairs as Jace stood anchored in dread. He wanted to shout after her, protest with all his might that she was wrong. Common sense kept his feet planted and his mouth closed. He shook his head, hating the feelings churning in his gut. He should have known better than to let things progress so far with Maddie, but it was too late for regrets.

A stab of guilt for his selfishness nearly pierced him in two. Because deep in the pit of his conflicting emotions, he didn’t regret a thing.

Maddie closed the stall door behind her, then slipped on her gloves. Gathering her skirts, she bolted from the barn. She wasn’t certain she’d succeeded in healing the horse, but the animal definitely seemed friskier. So much so, that while reapplying the dressing above its hoof, she’d feared earning a kick in the head for her trouble.

She hurried across the damp lawn. When she reached the side door to the hotel, she stopped for a moment to catch her breath, then slipped inside.

“Miss Sutter?”

Maddie froze. “Philip,” she said. “You startled me.”

He stepped toward her, and the strong smell of brandy came with him.

“I was just out for a breath of fresh air,” she said, tightening her wrap around her shoulders.

He glanced toward the door behind her. “Alone?”

She nodded.

“If you were mine, I’d never leave your side.” The blunt words were disarming. As was the sincerity in his glassy eyes.

“Philip…”

“Forgive me.” He smiled, shaking his head. “I’ve had too much to drink.” He reached for her hand and kissed her glove. “Good night.”

He strode away, no doubt embarrassed by his forwardness. A trickle of guilt coursed through her, though she wasn’t sure why. She’d done nothing to encourage Philip. It wasn’t her fault that he hoped for more than she wanted to give. And while she felt sorry for this sweet young man, she couldn’t squander precious time thinking of him now. Jace was waiting.

It was well after midnight, and she was already late. Her body hummed with excitement, anticipating her imminent rendezvous. But first she needed to change her soiled shoes.

How she hated lying to Jace. She’d come so close tonight to telling him her secret. In his arms—in the magic of that moment—it had seemed so right to share with him this thing she could never share. She’d almost convinced herself that he’d understand. That he would keep her secret between them, and perhaps help her make sense of it. He was so good at making sense of things.

But he could not make sense of this. And he would despise her for it. Whatever they shared now would die a certain and terrible death in the wake of her revelation.

When she reached her room, Jace was standing just inside the door.

“Where the hell have you been? I’ve been waiting here for twenty minutes.”

His angry tone took her aback. “I was detained by Philip downstairs.”

Jace frowned. “Hurry up. Get inside before anyone sees us.” He urged her inside the room.

“Is something wrong?”

“We must talk,” he said, closing the door quietly behind them.

The room darkened from the lost light of the hall. Behind them moonlight pooled in the center of the room. On the bed. “Talk?” Tossing her wrap to a chair, she walked slowly toward him. She had no intention of wasting time talking. “I was hoping we’d do more than talk.” She smiled, slipping her arms around his neck. In a flash, his tense shoulders relaxed, and his response whetted her appetite for more. Shadows and moonlight danced across his handsome face. “In fact, I prefer we don’t talk at all.”

“Maddie…”

“Jace.” She all but purred as she raked her fingers through his soft hair.

He reached for her hands and lowered them to her sides. “We must talk.”

She sighed, exasperated. “What is it?”

His lips pursed, then parted, but nothing came out. She rolled her eyes, waiting impatiently as his lips pursed, then parted again.

“Jace?”

“I think you should leave Misty Lake.”

She blinked, uncertain she’d heard him correctly.

“You deserve so much more than…” He waved his hand between them. “This.”

Her heart plummeted.

“You deserve someone with whom you can start a new life. Someone in a position to take you away from here.”

She narrowed her eyes, shaking her head. “What are you saying?”

“Philip.”

She stared, unable to speak. Unable to breathe. Moments passed before she could summon her voice. “You’re suggesting I pursue Philip?” The impact of hearing herself speak the words aloud was staggering. She turned away from him, grasping her hands together to keep them from shaking.

“Just listen to what I have to say.”

She squeezed shut her eyes. Her pulse pounded furiously at her temples.

“Philip can take you away from Misty Lake. Think of it, Maddie. A whole new life in Boston, where people aren’t poisoned by all the nonsense and rumors that haunt you here.”

“Philip?” she repeated, turning back to him. “You’re telling me to marry Philip?”

“He loves you. Anyone can see that.”

She stared at him, weak-kneed. Scalding tears burned her throat. She swallowed hard, nearly choking. For weeks, the thought of ending their time together had sliced to the bone, but this—his handing her off to another man—hurt so much more. She wanted to die on the spot. “And what about you?”

His shoulders slumped. “I care for you. I hope you know that. What has occurred between us was my fault, and I can’t take it back. But I want only what’s best for you now.”

She stifled a bitter laugh. She was a fool for imagining that Jace’s feelings for her might one day amount to more than an oddly incendiary combination of lust and pity.

She lifted her trembling chin, her chest aching with the sobs she was determined to contain. “You’re forgetting about Grandfather.”

“You needn’t worry. I’ll watch over him. I promise you that. He’ll be so pleased and relieved to know you’re well cared for in Boston. And you would know he is well cared for here.”

“As usual, you’ve come up with a sensible solution for everything.”

“Maddie—”

“I appreciate your well-conceived plans for my future, but I will decide what is best for me.” She thumped her fist to her chest. “
I
will decide. Not you.” She took a deep breath for composure. “I’m not one of your patients, Doctor Merrick. You know nothing about what is best for me. No more than you know what is best for yourself.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re a coward.” She straightened her spine, hating him. “Perhaps someday you’ll find the courage to step out from that shield of common sense you hide behind. Until you see that logic and science don’t define everything in this life, you’ll never truly live.” She shook her head in disgust. “Good night.”

He stared at her, looking abashed.

“Good night,” she repeated.

He turned and walked out the door.

* * * *

The next morning Maddie woke up with a headache. She’d cried herself to sleep as the endless night faded into dawn, and now she wanted only to pull the covers over her head and disappear. Jace didn’t want her. She squeezed shut her eyes but couldn’t block out the sight of his face.

With a deep breath, she opened her eyes to the ceiling of the fine hotel room. She glanced to the large window, squinting against the bright cheeriness of the day. She rubbed her temples and counted to ten. The exercise soothed her and helped clear her head. The weekend was nearly over, and she would survive it. She would survive her broken heart. She’d survived far worse.

After flinging the covers aside, she bolted upright. She’d get through this damn day, and then she’d never lay eyes on Jace Merrick again.

Despite her fury, the thought devastated her. She’d miss him so much.

There was also the agonizing knowledge that she’d caused this whole mess single-handedly. She’d pursued Jace right from the start. She’d seduced him. He’d tried to warn her—to stop her—from making what he knew would be a terrible mistake.

She snatched her bridesmaid gown from the tall armoire, then tossed it onto the bed, hating the very sight of it. Somehow she muddled through the movements, washing and dressing for the wedding.

She hurried down the hall to Amelia’s room. Temporarily distracted from thoughts of Jace, she managed to smile her way through the frenzy of helping Amelia into her bridal array. Amelia looked lovely in the corded silk dress. Her red hair was beautifully arranged beneath a tulle veil. A simple bridal wreath of orange blossoms completed the piece.

The ceremony went by in a blur. Amelia looked radiant, Lester looked happy, and Jace barely uttered a word. Maddie cried throughout the ceremony, though most of her tears were for herself. The couple was departing for their honeymoon to Niagara Falls immediately after the ceremony, and Maddie couldn’t wait to depart for home.

She’d made it through the wedding and honored her promise to Amelia. No one could ask anything more of her. She missed Grandfather. She longed for the safety of her home—her room. And for distance from Jace. The man she loved.

She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Then she wiped at her tears and offered a final wave to the newlyweds. The jubilant couple had just boarded the carriage that would carry them off to their new life, where they’d live happily ever after.

Even though she hadn’t spoken them out loud, these three words made her tears fall harder. In the midst of the crowd, she felt so alone. Everyone cheered as the carriage rolled from the drive and toward the road. People chased it, calling out their farewells. The carriage disappeared down the road, and the quieting crowd began to disperse.

Philip stepped into view and gave her a nod. She returned a small smile, quickly looking away. She hadn’t the strength right now to deal with Philip. She stiffened as she noticed Pastor Hogle and Daniel huddled nearby. Behind them, Mr. Belden led his horse from the stable.

They all turned their attention to Maddie, and a shiver of impending doom crawled down her spine.

Pastor Hogle’s hostile eyes bore into hers. He pointed his finger at Maddie. “There!”

She flinched, her heart pounding.

The meandering crowd parted as Pastor Hogle charged toward her. Gravel crunched beneath each angry step. “Look what she’s done!”

Jace took a step forward. “What is it now?”