The Lady's Choice (6 page)

‘You forget yourself, squire!'

Ramón's face heated. ‘There has to be another way, Your Highness. I will go to Tylevia and check on the lady's estates and the dark elves. You know I am capable of it. And what of my mission to find Alecia? You are not only postponing it but pulling in most of the search parties. Have you given up hope?'

A muscle in Prince Zialni's jaw twitched and Ramón knew he had pushed the prince as far as he could. ‘I will never give up on Alecia and the searches will resume when I return. In the meantime I have two operatives on the hunt for my daughter and that vermin, Anton. Perhaps they will succeed where larger groups have failed. Anton may get sloppy if he thinks I have given up.' The prince's faraway look disappeared and his eyes snapped back to Ramón. ‘Suffice to say that I believe my presence is needed more to the north than in escorting my lady to Wildecoast. You will follow orders and your orders are to accompany my betrothed to the coast and back so that she can be fitted for her wedding gown. I will not delay my marriage or place the kingdom in jeopardy because my wilful daughter has run away from home. Is that clear?'

Ramón swallowed the desperation that bubbled up inside him and bowed stiffly to the prince and to Benae. ‘May I take my leave? I have preparations to make.'

The prince frowned deeply at him but nodded at last. ‘You depart tomorrow at first light. I rely on you to keep my lady safe.'

Ramón bowed again. ‘Have no fear, Your Highness. Your lady will be safe with me.' He threw Benae a look that said
he
at least could be trusted and swept from the room.

Benae could not sleep. The news that she would travel with Ramón instead of Jiseve made her restless. It was what she had wanted, wasn't it? To spend some time with Ramón, get to know him better? Perhaps have one last flirtation before she settled down with Jiseve. She would not let it go too far. Perhaps some passionate kisses in secret or even . . . She imagined Ramón's hands on her bare skin and groaned. Who was she deceiving? The way she felt about the squire, she would not be able to stop if he were willing. Lucky for her he wasn't. She only hoped he had enough strength for both of them.

Why did she feel thus? Her marriage to Jiseve was what she had come to Brightcastle for and she had succeeded. He was besotted with her. Tonight after dinner, he had invited her to his room and she had thought he meant to take her to his bed. But no. The last night before they would be separated for weeks and he had kissed her to within an inch of her life, had her panting for more and then escorted her back to her room! What was wrong with the man? He had only to begin undressing her and she could not have refused him. Perhaps that was what ailed her. Jiseve had brought her to the edge of longing each night since their betrothal and then walked away. Her body could not take much more of this teasing without combusting. She needed release and she needed it now.

Benae flung herself out of bed and drew her robe around the folds of her nightgown. He would not deny her if he saw her in this filmy creation. It left little to the imagination and since she never wore pantaloons to bed, there would be no barrier to deny her betrothed. As she stood in the light of her parlour's flickering fire she hesitated. What if he turned her away again? Desire coiled its way up from her core and she groaned. She must have her release!

She opened the door quietly and slipped into the dark hallway. Leaving her door ajar, she turned in the direction of Jiseve's room only to be halted by a familiar, masculine chest. She knew immediately it was not her betrothed. Hard, callused hands gripped her upper arms and the scent of lemons and limes swirled around her.

Her heart leapt and raced away. ‘Ramón! What are you doing here?' In her aroused state, Benae was intensely aware that his hands had tightened on her arms. She swayed towards him but he kept her at bay, a stray moonbeam outlining the convulsive movement of his throat.

‘Prince Zialni had some late instructions. Are you on your way to bid him goodnight?' His glance took in her clothing and Benae was suddenly grateful for the darkness of the hallway, glad she had pulled her robe on over her flimsy nightgown. He sounded so proper it was like a slap in the face. Her body drove her towards this man; the mischief in her nature wondered how he would behave once his passion was unleashed. She wanted to be the one to release that passion, for she suspected that Ramón was a virgin. But could she betray her betrothed and give Ramón a reason to be ashamed? He did so pride himself on his honour.

Benae took a step backwards and Ramón's hands slipped down her arms to her hands, lingering there before falling to his sides. His gaze had not left her the entire time. That much she could see in the dimness. Oh Goddess, if only she could pull him into her room and kiss him until he lost his taut reserve, stripped the clothes from her and made mad passionate love to her. And, oh, how ready she was to accommodate him. Her belly clenched at the thought and she stepped towards him once more, laying her hands on his chest. She leant against him and, yes . . . felt the bulge in his breeches that told of his susceptibility to her.

The uncertainty of a moment ago fled her mind. Her desire ruled! It was her betrothed's fault. Night after night he had left her unfulfilled. Each evening she had become more desperate but Jiseve would not budge. Her thin thread of control snapped and she launched herself at Ramón, wrapping her arms around his neck, assaulting his mouth with a savagery that surprised even her. His lips did not disappoint – so full and sensuous were they and, after a moment's surprise, they moved beneath hers, passion mounting until his tongue forced its way between her lips and began an intimate exploration of her mouth. Benae groaned and pushed her hips against his. She was ready for him, oh so ready. She was beyond ready. His arms enclosed her, pulling her soft curves closer until she felt every hard muscle from chest to knees strain against her.

Ramón shoved her door open with his shoulder and pulled her with him into her room, leaning against the door to close it, his lips never leaving hers. She breathed in his heady citrus scent, her hands dropping from his neck to explore the muscles of his chest before circling his waist and drifting to the buttocks that she had admired for so long. They were indeed magnificent. Ramón's hands mirrored hers and he groaned deep in his throat as his fingers kneaded her bottom through her nightgown, so obvious was it that she wore nothing beneath.

Benae stepped back and allowed her robe to drop from her shoulders, leaving only the sheer nightgown between them. Ramón's eyes darkened as he took in her body and he groaned again. He was close to the edge. All she had to do was give him a nudge. She let him stare, knowing that her darkened nipples and curling pubic hair were visible. He swallowed repeatedly, his breath coming in quick gasps. Her own chest rose and fell in time with his and Benae's desire peaked as she imagined the moment when he would lay her down and force his way inside her, filling her.

Slowly, Benae gripped the fabric that barely concealed her thighs and started to gather it in her fists, so that the hem inched inexorably upwards, revealing first her shins and then sliding above her knees. Her eyes never left his face. Ramón licked his lips, his gaze riveted to the hem of her nightgown and what it revealed. Benae's excitement rose closer to fulfilment. She would climax soon even if he didn't touch her. It was so erotic watching his reaction to her seduction. She prepared to raise the gown to her hips, knowing that this would tip him over the edge, but Ramón's hand grasped her wrist.

‘Stop,' he said.

‘You want this.'

‘Of course I do, but it is not mine to want.' He pulled her hands from the hem of her gown and adjusted its folds so that they fell to her ankles, then he stooped and retrieved her robe and drew it around her shoulders. He held her there, his hands gripping the front of her robe, his eyes dark, troubled. As Benae stared at his torment, his gaze fell to her mouth and he drew her close, his lips claiming hers for a tender kiss. Her heart melted. No one had ever kissed her thus, as if she were the most precious gift in the world. Perhaps he had changed his mind. But as Ramón drew back, his hands dropped to his sides and he took a deep breath. ‘One of us must remember your betrothal. Now get yourself to bed. We depart at first light.' He turned and left the room without another word or a backwards glance.

How could he resist her? She had been virtually naked in front of him, performing a striptease, and he had stopped her. Although he had said he wanted her. She frowned. He wanted her. What did that mean? And that last kiss! Goddess, how did he kiss her like that and walk away? That kiss promised more than rapturous abandon. It spoke of a lifetime of love and trust. At least that was how it felt to her. Tender was how that kiss had felt and tender had nothing to do with lust.

Benae shook her head, annoyed that things had slipped beyond her control. If Jiseve had not teased her so she might have been able to resist Ramón's broad shoulders and soft lips. Then again, perhaps not. If she were honest, the squire had been an irresistible force from the very first time she saw him. And now she must spend days travelling in his company, knowing she had offered herself to him and he had rejected her. Her insides curled in shame. Her heart and mind roiled in confusion. What was she? Dignified court lady or a wanton hussy, as Avalin had suggested?

Ramón was right to refuse her. He had kept his head when he should not have been able to resist her. Perhaps he was not the virgin she thought him. He didn't kiss like a virgin. Her heart thudded anew at the memory of his kisses, which were even more satisfying than she had imagined. She knew now what she was giving up by marrying Jiseve, knew his kisses, his love would never match Ramón's. No matter how content she might be with Jiseve, it would be Ramón she would crave and Ramón she would never have. How stupid she had been to believe she could make this contract with Jiseve and not pay a price.

Benae must retrieve her dignity as best she could. She would get over Ramón in time; she had to believe that. In Jiseve she had a husband who would protect her estates and her people. A little frustration was a small price to pay.

Ramón supervised the loading of the coach that would transport Benae to Wildecoast. Two trunks had been strapped to the back along with Ramón's small chest. The tents were stored on the roof of the carriage, one for himself and four others for the eight soldiers they were taking as a guard. Billy the stableboy led Flaire over to the coach and tied him to the rear.

‘Thanks Billy,' Ramón said, surreptitiously checking the knot. It would not do for the horse to be lost on the trip. He was not even sure why Flaire had to come, but it was a battle not worth fighting. The horse was fitted with Benae's saddle, complete with silver adorning pommel, cantle and stirrups. Billy handed Ramón a matching bridle, which he slung on a hook on the back of the carriage. The stallion was tethered by a plain head collar that was much more practical and comfortable for the horse than wearing a bridle, especially when he wasn't being ridden.

‘I'll miss him, squire,' Billy said, giving the horse a pat on the neck and getting a soft muzzle against his ear in return. Billy was one of those rare individuals who attracted animals, made them feel comfortable and unafraid, but he had been in all sorts of trouble since Vard Anton had left. Ramón shook his head. As much as Ramón hated Anton, the man had taken Billy under his wing and the lad clearly missed the enigmatic captain. Ramón vowed to look after the boy. After all, it was not easy to be torn from your mother's side and expected to work when you were only thirteen.

‘Now you keep out of trouble while I'm gone, Billy,' Ramón said, placing his hand on the boy's shoulder. ‘If there are good reports when I return, I shall commence weapons training with you. But only if you have a clean slate.'

Billy's eyes widened and his plain face was lit by a huge grin. ‘Right you are, squire. I'll make a good warrior, you'll see.'

Ramón smiled. Billy reminded him of himself at that age: full of big ideas and mischief. However, Ramón's domain had been the king's castle at Wildecoast, where he had been sent at the age of twelve to begin his training as a squire. He could remember getting into trouble, too, playing pranks on the senior squires to embarrass them during visits by dignitaries. He had missed his family just as Billy did. His heart lifted at the thought that he would visit his parents on their estate while he was at Wildecoast. His younger sister, Alique, had joined the queen's ladies-in-waiting at the time Ramón had left for Brightcastle. He looked forward to discovering how her new role had changed her.

There was a commotion at the castle entrance and Benae and Prince Zialni appeared. The lady was dressed in a sombre green travelling dress with divided skirts, her dark hair pulled back from her face into a bun. She was pale with dark circles under her eyes and she avoided his gaze completely as she approached with her betrothed.

‘Ah, Squire Ramón, I see all is in readiness,' Prince Zialni said.

Ramón bowed low to hide the sudden flush he knew had crept over his face at Benae's appearance. Had the events of last evening been a dream? He pushed the memories from his head for they would not help to dispel the creeping redness. He rose and met the sharp blue gaze of Prince Zialni. Was the man having second thoughts about sending his betrothed off with another man?

‘I am relying on you to convey Lady Benae safely to Wildecoast and back, squire.' The prince's voice was cold, almost threatening. ‘Do not let me down.'

‘I will defend the lady with my life, Your Highness.'

‘I trust that will not be necessary. You have an escort and I cannot foresee any danger great enough to threaten you, with eight soldiers in your party. All will be well.'

‘I am sure you are right, Your Highness. When we reach Wildecoast, I will send word via pigeon.'

‘I will not be here to receive it, but send it anyway. Give my best to my brother, the king, and tell him I will expect him at my wedding.'

‘Most certainly I will, Your Highness. May you have a safe journey.'

Ramón bowed and stepped back to give the prince and Benae some privacy. They turned to each other and Prince Zialni kissed Benae on both cheeks. She gripped his hands tightly.

‘Are you sure this is for the best, beloved?' she asked.

‘I know it is, lady. All will be well. We will be wed upon your return and we shall be as one.'

Tears welled in Benae's eyes. ‘I wish . . .'

‘What is it, lady?' Prince Zialni said.

The distraught note in Benae's voice forced Ramón to look at her. There was fear in her glorious eyes but who was she scared for? What did she wish?

She swallowed hard, chewing on her bottom lip. ‘Never mind. It is best not to speak of our fears. May the Goddess protect you, Jiseve. I look forward to our union, more than you can ever know.'

Ramón spun away, making one last circuit of the carriage to check the wheels. Benae's words struck a sharp spike of jealousy into his heart that he had no right to feel. Last night she had offered herself to him, Ramón, and now she implied she would miss her betrothed. He had been so close to giving her what she wanted. Her body, barely hidden by the nightgown . . . Ramón suppressed a groan as he tightened the traces on one of the carriage horses. And now she gazed tenderly at the prince. How could she look forward to marriage when she would bed any male who came along? Anger boiled in him and he thanked the Goddess he had been the one to step away from such betrayal last night. The carriage moved and he glanced up in time to see Benae seat herself. Their eyes met through the carriage window and Ramón's heart flipped in his chest at the raw, pained look she flashed him. They stared at each other for a beat and the Goddess only knew how he appeared to the lady. He was the first to drag his gaze away and strode to his black gelding, giving the order to move out as soon as his buttocks hit the saddle. It was going to be a long journey.

Benae's head pounded in time with the rocking of the carriage as they wound their way through the thin strip of forest east of Brightcastle. She had barely slept after Ramón left her room and now she faced four days and three nights on the road with him. Surely her spirits could sink no further? A small voice told her to be glad she had not slept with him, but she could not agree. His body beneath her fingers had felt so strong, his arms around her had seemed so right. It was not so with Jiseve. Oh, he was strong in a wiry way and he was handsome and his kisses stirred her blood, but Ramón's body moved her on some visceral level; his eyes spoke to her heart, even if he did not know it.

Sweat broke out on her palms and she clenched her hands in her lap so that Merel would not see her distress. If only she could push Ramón's image from her mind – but her meditation tricks deserted her and thoughts of him kept pushing back in. Since the kiss her mind had even more fodder for daydreams. Where would it all end? What must he think of her now that she had thrown herself at him? He trotted past the carriage on his horse and she groaned. When had she become a slave to her desires? True, she liked the company of men and she had had her fun with them in the past, but she had never felt this driven towards anyone. Again she wondered if it was just her raging need for fulfilment that drove her towards Ramón. If only Jiseve had made love to her each night for the past several, she might be content and her arousal might now be dimmed by a budding pregnancy.

Benae's eye fell upon the bed opposite her. Jiseve had commissioned a clever carpenter to modify one of the seats in the coach so that it became a comfortable bed. This was where she would sleep at night, with the men outside in tents. It was large enough that Merel could share it as well.

‘Merel, I did not sleep well last night. I am going to lie down and close my eyes for a time.'

‘Surely, my lady. A rest will do you the world of good. I will sit here quietly with my knitting.' Merel smiled her calm smile that was like a panacea for Benae's turbulent thoughts.

Benae lay down on the bed and closed her eyes. Miraculously, she slept.

Benae was woken by a peal of laughter some time later. The carriage was stationary and Merel absent. She sat up and looked out the window. They were in a clearing near the road and Merel and most of the soldiers sat around a campfire. Ramón and one of the soldiers stood guard, their backs to the fire. It must be luncheon. Benae's stomach grumbled. She rose and rubbed her face, smoothed her hair and stood to let her skirts straighten.

She opened the carriage door and Ramón was there, ready to hand her down. He was a miracle. How had he known she was awake? She paused as he offered his hand.

‘Are you well, lady?'

She stared down into his azure eyes and her heart skipped. No wonder he haunted her dreams. But she had made her choice and was bound to Jiseve. ‘I am well.' His hand touched hers and she swallowed down the lump that rose to her throat, her breath quickening. ‘I wish to apologise for my behaviour last night,' she said quietly. ‘I will offer no excuses.'

Ramón's hand squeezed hers and she was reminded of their last embrace, but then his gaze hardened. ‘Forget it. I already have.'

Benae stumbled as she stepped from the carriage and would have fallen but for his hand on hers. He had already forgotten their kisses? Had they not moved him at all? But she knew they had. She had not mistaken the longing in his eyes, the tenderness of his kiss, especially the last, lingering one. Benae frowned up at him. ‘Thank you . . . I think.'

He glared at her. ‘I do not understand you. Why would you jeopardise your future with His Highness for a fling with me?'

‘I thought you had forgotten it,' she snapped.

Ramón drew a sharp breath and looked away. When he looked back at her, his eyes were troubled, uncertain. ‘One of us has to act with propriety. You are a betrothed woman and you behave like—' He bit the words off, as if not trusting himself.

‘Say it,' she hissed. ‘I act like a village whore.'

Ramón's eyes widened. ‘They were not the words I sought.'

‘No matter,' Benae said. ‘You don't approve of me but you will have to accept me as I am.'

‘I do not have to accept anything. You are in my care. It is not for me to judge you.'

‘And yet you do.' She wrenched her hand from his and stalked away to the fire.

Luncheon taken, they resumed their journey and were soon through the forest and into the rich farmlands that had helped make Brightcastle principality wealthy. Farm wives waved from their homesteads and Benae was heartened to witness such normality after her days at court. She relaxed against the well-stuffed cushions of the coach and allowed the familiar scenes to soothe her troubled mind. Scents of chicken yards and baking floated to her on the breeze. It was warm for early winter and she hoped the weather would hold until she returned to Brightcastle. She did not relish the thought of travelling through snow.

Merel sat quietly beside her, knitting a new shawl, and Benae amused herself with thoughts of her wedding, making notes in her diary as ideas occurred to her. Jiseve had said she could plan the festivities, and the budget he had given her would have kept her small estate running for the better part of half a year. She shifted uncomfortably at the thought of such waste. Her betrothed had said that it was expected of her, almost required that she present an image of wealth and abundance. After long months of struggling to feed her people, Benae could not quite believe she did not have to pinch every penny. More importantly, Jiseve had immediately sent funds to tide her estate over until its finances could be settled properly. So much depended on her future husband and she hated that he put himself at risk by travelling north. She was beginning to see that he would do as he saw fit and all she could do was to trust and pray that he stayed safe. She had relinquished her freedom to enter into this betrothal and she did not regret it. She did not and she would not.

A deep sigh slipped from her lips as the memory of a certain broad-shouldered, golden-haired squire intruded. He was persistent, she had to say that, or at least his place in her musings seemed set. Usually she was not this scatterbrained but lately she could not seem to keep her mind where it needed to be. Benae switched to thoughts of Flaire. At least now he was getting the exercise he so desperately craved and she could ride him if she became bored. It would keep her mind off Ramón, unless he rode directly in front of her, in which case she would think of nothing else.

The carriage slowed and Benae looked up from her jottings, almost upsetting the ink bottle balanced on her diary. Surprisingly, the sun had almost dropped below the horizon and they were pulling into another small clearing on the side of the road.

Ramón had set up the camp so that the carriage was in the centre of the five tents, the horses tethered nearby, except for Flaire, whom Benae insisted should be tethered to the carriage. She wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed in his heady horse scent. Joyful equine thoughts flooded his mind. He was happy to be moving again, muscles tired after a day's trotting behind the carriage. He pulled against her arms and she released him. Instantly he put his head down to graze on the grass beside the road. It was not lush, but would seem so to Flaire after days in a stable. Oh, to find joy in such simple things. Benae almost wished she could swap places.

One of the soldiers had prepared a humble but tasty meal over the fire with Merel's help and Benae sat upon a large log and balanced her plate on her lap. She did not mind a modest life. It would be hard to get used to the trappings of wealth and royalty but she could adapt, with Jiseve's help.

Ramón sat beside her and she frowned. What did he want?

‘My lady, two of us will keep watch during the night. The risk of ambush is small but still there is no point in being careless.'

‘Jiseve seemed unconcerned.'

‘I am sure His Highness is right but I will still set the watch.' He took a spoonful of venison stew and chewed thoughtfully. ‘Mm . . . this isn't bad. Who would have thought Seve had it in him to create this tasty meal? Perhaps he has missed his calling.'