The Land of Painted Caves (76 page)

Have I been called? Am I Zelandoni now? Because I made the sacrifice of my baby, the Great Mother spoke to me, and gave me the rest of the Mother’s Song, so I could share it, and bring this wonderful Gift to Her Children. Now Jondalar will know for certain that Jonayla is his as much as she is mine. And we’ll know how to start a new baby when we want one. Now all men will know that it is more than spirits—it is him, his essence; his children are a part of him.

But what if a woman doesn’t want another child? Or shouldn’t have another one because she’s too weak, or exhausted from having too many? Then she will know how to stop it! Now a woman will know how not to have a child if she is not ready, or doesn’t want one. She doesn’t have to ask the Mother, she won’t have to take any special medicine, she will just have to stop sharing Pleasures and she won’t have any more children. For the first time, a woman can be in control of her own body, her own life. This is very powerful knowledge … but there is another side. What about the man?

What if he doesn’t want to stop sharing Pleasures? Or what if he wants a child that he knows comes from him? Or what if he doesn’t want a child?

I want another baby, and I know Jondalar would want another baby, too. He’s so good with Jonayla, and he’s so good with the youngsters who are learning to knap flint, his apprentices. I’m sorry I lost this baby. Tears came to her eyes as she thought about the baby she miscarried. But I can have another one. If only Jondalar were here, we could begin to start another one now, but he’s at the Summer Meeting. I can’t even tell him about losing the baby if I’m here and he’s at the Summer Meeting. He would feel bad, I know he would. He would want to start another one.

Why don’t I go? I don’t have to watch the sky anymore. I don’t have to stay up late; my training is over. I have been “called.” I am Zelandoni! And I need to tell the rest of the zelandonia. The Mother not only called me, She gave me a great Gift. A Gift for everyone. I need to go so I can tell all the Zelandonii about the Mother’s wonderful new Gift. And so I can tell Jondalar, and maybe start another baby.

31

A
yla quickly got up from the rock, put on her clean clothes, gathered up her soiled ones and the drying skin, and whistled to Wolf as she hurried back along the path. As she walked up to the stone front porch of the shelter, she remembered her first swim with Jondalar, and then Marona and her friends offering to give her some new clothes.

Though Ayla had developed varying levels of tolerance toward the other women who were involved in the trick, she never got over her aversion to Marona, and avoided contact with her. The feeling was more than mutual. Marona had never made any effort to reconcile with the woman Jondalar brought home with him from his Journey. She had mated for a second time the same summer that Ayla and Jondalar did, but at the Second Matrimonial, and once again more recently. That mating had apparently not worked out, either; she had moved back to the Ninth Cave to stay with her cousin a year or so before. But for all her matings, she had no children.

Ayla couldn’t abide the woman, and didn’t know why she should be thinking of her. She shook off thoughts of Marona and concentrated on Jondalar. I’m so glad to finally be going to the Summer Meeting, she thought. I can ride Whinney, and it won’t take long at all to get there, no more than a day, if I don’t stop along the way.

The Summer Meeting was being held this year about twenty miles to the north along The River, at her favorite place for a Meeting. It was the same location as the first Zelandonii Summer Meeting she had ever gone to, and the one where she and Jondalar were mated. Such Meetings usually used up nearly all the resources around the area, but if enough time was allowed to pass, Mother Earth healed the place from the misuse caused by the large concentration of people and it was refreshed enough to host them again.

The young woman burst into her dwelling, full of vigor and enthusiasm, and began sorting through her clothes and possessions. She was humming her usual monotone under her breath when Marthona came in.

“You’re suddenly full of excitement,” the older woman said.

“I’m going to the Summer Meeting. I don’t have to watch the sky anymore. I’m through with my training. There is no reason I can’t go,” Ayla said.

“Are you sure you’re strong enough?” There was a note of regret in Marthona’s voice.

“You’ve taken good care of me. I’m feeling fine, and I really want to see Jondalar, and Jonayla.”

“I miss them too, but it’s a long way to go alone. I thought you might wait until the next hunter comes to take a turn helping us. Then you could go back with Forason,” Marthona suggested.

“I’m going to ride Whinney. It won’t take long. I can probably get there in a day. Two at the most,” Ayla said.

“Yes, you’re probably right. I’d forgotten that you would be taking your horse, and Wolf, too,” Marthona said.

Ayla noticed Marthona’s disappointment, and suddenly realized how much the woman would like to go, and she was still concerned about her health. “How are you feeling? I don’t want to leave if you are not well.”

“No, don’t stay on my behalf,” Marthona said. “I’m much better. If I had felt this good at the beginning of the season, I might have considered going.”

“Why don’t you come with me? You could sit on Whinney’s back. It might take a little longer, but only another day or so,” Ayla said.

“No. I like the horse well enough, but I don’t want to sit on her back. To be honest, it frightens me a little. You are right, though, you need to go. You need to tell Zelandoni that you were ‘called.’ Imagine what a surprise it will be.”

“There’s not much summer left anyway. Everyone will be coming back before long,” Ayla said, trying to ease the separation.

“I feel two ways about that,” Marthona said. “I’m anxious for the Summer Meeting to be over and for the Ninth Cave to come back, but I’m not looking forward to the return of winter. I suppose it’s always that way when a person gets old.”

Ayla’s next step in preparing to leave was to look for Lorigan and Forason. She knew exactly where to find Jonclotan, with Jeralda. Almost everyone was sitting around the community fireplace, finishing up a meal.

“Ayla, come join us,” Jeralda called. “Have something to eat. There is plenty left and it’s still warm.”

“I think I will. I’ve been so hungry the last few days,” Ayla said.

“I can understand why,” Jeviva said. “How do you feel?”

“Much more rested,” Ayla said, then smiled. “I’ve decided that I’m going to go to the Summer Meeting soon. I’ve finished my sky watching, so there is no reason for me to stay, but I thought we ought to go hunting once more before I leave, both for those who are here, and for something to take with me to the Meeting. The animals around the Meeting Camp are likely to be almost gone, and those that haven’t been killed are probably avoiding the area.”

“You aren’t going to leave before my baby comes, are you?” Jeralda said.

“If you don’t have it in the next few days,” Ayla said. “Though I would like to stay and see that nice healthy baby born. Have you been walking?”

“Yes, I have, but I was so looking forward to you being here to help me.”

“Your mother is here, and several other women who know about babies, not to mention Jonclotan. I don’t think you’ll have any problems, Jeralda,” Ayla said. Then she looked at the three hunters. “Would you like to go hunting with me tomorrow morning?”

“I hadn’t planned on going for a few more days, but it doesn’t matter to me,” Lorigan said. “I can go tomorrow, especially if you’re leaving soon. I have to admit, I’ve gotten used to our little hunting pack, including the wolf. I think we work together well.”

“Which way do you want to go?” Jonclotan said.

“We haven’t been north for a while,” Forason said.

“I’ve been avoiding that direction because I don’t know how far the hunters from the Summer Meeting are having to range now. I’m sure animals are gettting scarce around the Camp by now. That’s why I want to bring something with me. I have Zelandoni’s pole-drag, I can use it to haul a good-sized carcass with me,” Ayla said.

“Is that safe?” Jeviva said. “Won’t you attract a hunting animal? Maybe you shouldn’t go alone.”

Marthona had joined them, but didn’t say anything. She didn’t think it was anything that would concern Ayla, if she had made up her mind to go.

“Wolf will warn me, and I think between us, we can drive off a four-legged hunter,” Ayla said.

“Even a cave lion?” Jeralda asked. “Maybe you should wait until the hunters can go with you.”

Ayla knew she was looking for a reason for her to stay so she’d be there to help her deliver her baby. “Don’t you remember when we hunted a pride of cave lions who tried to settle too close to the Third Cave? It was too dangerous to allow that. Every child or elder would have been considered prey; we had to make them go. When we killed the lion and a couple of the lionesses, the rest of them left.”

“Yes, but that was a whole hunting party. You are just one person,” Jeralda said.

“No, Wolf will be with me, and Whinney. Lions like to go after something they know is weak. I think the scent of all of us together would confuse them, and I’ll keep my spear-thrower close by. Besides, if I leave early in the morning, I should be able to get there before nightfall,” Ayla said, then added to the hunters, “Tomorrow, let’s plan to go southwest.”

Marthona stayed back a ways listening to the conversation. She would make a good leader, the former leader of the Ninth Cave said to herself. She takes charge without even thinking about it, it just comes naturally. I think she’s going to be a strong Zelandoni.

   The hunters returned the next day hauling two large red deer with sizable racks. Ayla thought about going to get Whinney to help drag them back, but the other hunters didn’t even think about it. They field-dressed the animals, emptied the stomachs, cleaned the intestines, and threw away the bowels, but saved the rest of the internal organs, then grabbed the antlers and started pulling them. They were used to getting their kills back home by themselves.

Two days later, Ayla was ready to leave. She packed everything on Zelandoni’s large pole-drag, including the deer wrapped in a woven grass mat that Marthona had helped her make, and intended to leave the following morning, planning to reach the Summer Meeting Campsite by nightfall, without having to push Whinney too hard. But there was a delay, not exactly unexpected. Jeralda started labor in the middle of the night. Ayla was rather glad. She had been overseeing her pregnancy all summer, and didn’t really want to leave her now that she was getting close. But she hadn’t been entirely sure when the woman would deliver, a few days, or a whole Moon.

This time, luck was with Jeralda. She gave birth to a girl before midday. Her mate and her mother were as happy and excited as she was. After a meal, when the woman was resting comfortably, Ayla began to get restless. Everything was ready to go; besides, while letting the meat age a bit often added to its flavor, if too much time passed, it could get a little too high, at least to her taste. It wouldn’t take much to pack up and leave; she could go now. But if she did, she would probably have to spend one night out along the way. She decided to leave anyway.

After farewells and last-minute instructions to Jeviva, Jeralda, and Marthona, Ayla started out. She enjoyed riding alone on Whinney, with Wolf loping beside them, and both the animals seemed to enjoy it as well. The weather was quite warm, but the riding blanket on Whinney’s back added some comfort, and absorbed some of the sweat of woman and horse. She wore a short tunic and her loincloth skirt, similar to the one she had worn when she and Jondalar had traveled through the summer heat, and she was reminded of their Journey, but it made her miss him all the more.

Her body, which had thickened slightly from the lack of excercise during the past few years, had been thinned down by her ordeal in the cave. Her breasts, which had filled out when she was heavy with milk while nursing Jonayla, and again with early pregnancy, had gone back to normal size, and her muscle tone was still good. She had always been firm and well shaped, and though she could count twenty-six years now, she thought, she looked very much the same as she had when she could count only seventeen years.

She rode until sunset, then stopped and made camp beside The River. Sleeping alone in her small tent made her think about Jondalar again. She crawled into her furs and closed her eyes, and kept seeing visions of the tall man with the thrilling blue eyes, wishing he were there to wrap his arms around her, wishing she could feel his mouth on hers. She rolled over, closed her eyes, and tried again to go to sleep. She kept tossing and turning but could not get to sleep. Wolf was beside her and started whining.

“Am I keeping you awake, too, Wolf?” Ayla said.

He sat up and poked his nose out of the opening under the closure, a growl deep in his throat. He squirmed his way under the flap that was loosely tied across the triangular-shaped front of the small tent, his growl becoming more menacing.

“Wolf! Where are you going? Wolf?”

She quickly untied the closure and started out, then turned back and reached for her spear-thrower and a couple of spears. The moon was waning, but there was still enough light to see reflected shapes. She saw the pole-drag, then noticed that Whinney was moving away from it. Even in the limited moonglow, she could tell from the way the mare moved that she was nervous. Wolf was crouching low, moving in the general direction of the pole-drag, but slightly behind it. Then, for an instant, she glimpsed a shape, a round head with two ears sticking up ending in tufts.

It’s a lynx!

She’d had memories of the large cat with mottled whitish-yellow fur, short stubby tail, and tufted ears. And long legs that could run fast. It was her first encounter with a lynx that had encouraged her to teach herself to cast two stones in rapid succession with her sling, so she wouldn’t be left weaponless after one hurl. She checked to make sure that she had more than one spear as she mounted one on her spear-thrower, ready to throw.

Then she saw his silhouette slinking toward the pole-drag.

“Aaaiiiii!” she screamed, running toward the cat. “Get out of there! That’s not yours! Go away! Get out of here!”

The startled lynx leaped straight up in the air, then sped away. Wolf took off after it, but after a few moments, Ayla whistled. He slowed down, then stopped, and when she whistled again, finally turned around and headed back.

Ayla had brought along a little kindling. She used it to stir up the coals of the fire she had made earlier to heat some water for tea to drink with the traveling cake that she ate before going to bed. The coals had died, so she got her fire-making kit and started a new one. Once she had the kindling lit, she used a piece as a torch to search around for more fuel. She was on an open plain with The River running through it. There were a few trees near The River, but only green wood was available; dried grass was, though, and a few desiccated animal droppings, probably from a bison or an aurochs, she thought. It was enough to keep the small fire going for a while. She laid out her sleeping roll next to the fire and crawled into it with Wolf beside her. Whinney stayed close to Ayla and the fire as well.