The Last Days of Rabbit Hayes (15 page)

Francie passed Marjorie on the way to his car, waved at her and blew her a kiss. He pointed to the shelter where Davey was still smoking. She approached him with a face on her that would have curdled milk.

‘What’s wrong?’ Davey asked.

She grabbed the cigarette out of his mouth and stamped it out. ‘Your sister is dying of cancer. I see you with another one of these in your mouth and I’ll slap you one.’

‘Why does everyone want to hit me tonight?’

‘You’ve a punchable face,’ she said, and he laughed at her.

They walked inside together and met Molly, Jack and Juliet coming into Reception. Molly was fixing her coat and giving out to Juliet for not wearing something warmer. She pointed to an umbrella stand near the door.

‘Mine’s the one with polka dots,’ said Juliet. She waved at Marjorie as she headed for the umbrella.

Molly hugged Marjorie. ‘You look fantastic, love. How was your trip?’

‘Super,’ Marjorie said. ‘I just wish . . .’ She welled up.

‘I know.’ Molly patted her arm. She looked anxiously towards Juliet, who was battling with the umbrella.

‘We should go. Oh, and, Davey, your da and I will be away most of the day tomorrow so I’m trusting you to take care of Juliet and Rabbit.’

‘Where are you going?’

‘Cavan.’

‘Why?’

‘We’ve an appointment with Michael Gallagher,’ Molly said sheepishly.

‘Michael Gallagher,’ Davey repeated. ‘Johnny’s faith-healer. That Michael Gallagher?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Oh, no, Mrs H,’ Marjorie said.

‘She’ll go mental, Ma,’ Davey protested.

‘We’re not going to tell her.’

‘So how does that work?’ Marjorie asked.

‘That’s what we’ll find out when we talk to him tomorrow.’ Molly put a finger to her lips.

When they had gone Davey worried that his mother was doing the wrong thing. Rabbit was an atheist, and introducing a man like Michael Gallagher was an insult to her strongly held belief in nothing. Davey could see it being a serious bone of contention. ‘Your ma is just grabbing at straws, Davey,’ Marjorie said, as they walked into Rabbit’s room.

Lenny was sitting there, watching Rabbit sleep. He nodded at Marjorie, who nodded back. He stood up. ‘The nurse came in and gave her the meds. She didn’t wake.’ He picked up his jacket. ‘She’s gone to the world.’

‘Thanks for everything, Lenny,’ Davey said.

‘No thanks required. She’s family.’ He went to the door. ‘And if you see or hear from my wife, tell her I love her.’

‘Is everything all right?’ Davey asked.

‘No,’ Lenny said, looking at Rabbit shallow-breathing in the bed. ‘No, but then how could it be?’ He left.

Davey and Marjorie sat on the sofa together. He told her about poor old Sheila B and about the poor sod whose hand had been cut off at work. She spoke about returning to work and the stresses associated with her first day back. Marjorie was a bank manager. During the boom she had been everyone’s best friend, but since the recession had kicked in, stepping through the bank’s door had been like stepping onto a battlefield. It was harrowing saying no to desperate people, fighting unwinnable cases with Head Office and pressuring customers to pay debilitating debts. ‘I’m the bad guy.’

‘You do the best you can.’

‘Tell that to the seventy-year-old man in my office today who is losing his house because he put it up as collateral against a bloated mortgage for his son.’

‘You didn’t ask him to remortgage his house.’

‘You weren’t here when the TV advert told men like him to do exactly that.’

‘You’re just doing your job.’

‘And I need to stop for the sake of my soul.’

‘What would you like to do?’

‘Honestly? I’d like to write a book, but I’m rubbish at writing so it probably won’t work out.’

He smiled. ‘Anything else?’

‘I’d like to open a boutique.’

‘So do it.’

She snorted. ‘Do you know how many boutiques are closing down every week in this country?’

‘No.’

‘Loads.’

‘Well, you’ll do it differently.’

‘Ridiculous upward-only rents, taxes, fees, and people like me saying no to the smallest line of credit.’

‘So take up the accordion,’ Davey said.

‘You think there’s a lot of work for an accordion player?’

‘They’d love you in Nashville.’

She giggled. ‘I’m sure.’

Rabbit moved in the bed. She groaned softly and made a weird choking sound. They remained still, fearful that they were witnessing something terrifying. The moment passed and she seemed to be breathing normally again. Marjorie sighed with relief. ‘We’re in hell, Davey.’

‘Yes.’

The door opened and Grace poked her head around it. Her face was puffy, she was soaked through and she looked like crap. ‘Hi.’

‘Hi,’ Davey said. Marjorie tilted her head and beckoned her with an index finger. Grace walked in, shoulders hunched. Davey and Marjorie parted on the sofa and Marjorie patted the space. Grace sat down between them and all three stared at Rabbit for a minute or two.

‘What happened?’ Davey asked.

‘I freaked out.’

‘Understandable,’ Marjorie said.

‘And?’ Davey asked.

‘I threw a mug at Lenny’s face.’

‘You gave him the black eye?’

‘I really didn’t mean it.’

‘That’s what you said after you punched me in the face when Rabbit took your bike and wrote it off.’

‘I was sixteen and Rabbit ducked.’

‘Juliet is staying with us tonight.’

‘OK,’ she said.

‘And Lenny said to tell you he loves you.’

‘OK.’ She burst into tears. Marjorie put an arm around her. ‘I can’t do this,’ Grace sobbed.

‘I know how you feel.’ Marjorie was staring at her best friend in the foetal position in the bed.

‘We need to stop pretending,’ Davey said. Grace raised her head and stared at him. ‘We need to start making plans and we need to talk about Juliet.’

Grace nodded sadly. ‘I know.’

‘Ma and Da are in Cavan tomorrow, so we’ll meet in Ma’s on Sunday.’

‘What are they doing in Cavan?’

‘Michael Gallagher.’

‘Oh, for fuck’s sake.’

Rabbit twisted, turned and moaned a little more. They watched her until she settled.

Marjorie was the first to leave. Davey walked her outside and waved her off, then returned to Rabbit’s room, where Grace had moved into the chair beside the bed. She was holding her sister’s hand and praying quietly. When Davey appeared, she said, ‘I know she doesn’t believe, but I do.’

He sat in the chair opposite. He fixed the lambskin blanket, smoothing it down over Rabbit.

‘Maybe Michael Gallagher will fix her,’ Grace said.

‘He won’t, and when he doesn’t, we need to be strong for Ma and Da.’

‘I know.’

‘And you need to stop throwing mugs at your husband.’

‘I will.’

‘We need to make sure Rabbit has a good . . .’ he struggled a little ‘. . . death.’

‘What’s got into you?’ She sounded impressed.

‘I took me head out of me hole.’

‘About time.’

She reached over and he took her hand. They held hands over Rabbit for just a moment or two, but that gesture bonded them. It was the first step in their relationship as sister and brother without her.

The venue was stuffed to the rafters. It was the biggest that Kitchen Sink had ever played. The dressing room was huge, well lit and complete with a beer-and-crisps-filled rider. The noise of two thousand fans waiting for the band to hit the stage seeped through the walls. Davey was in the loo, shitting his brains out. Francie was smoking his brains out in the office while their manager, Paddy, was trying to remove a very drunk and belligerent Sheila B from backstage. Jay liked to sleep before a gig and was out cold on the floor under the dressing rail.

Rabbit met Louis hanging out with his best friend Dillon in the corridor and he directed her to the dressing room. Johnny was warming up his vocals when she entered the room. She had been talking to the house sound guy, swapping notes. He had been impressed by the fourteen-year-old when he’d encountered her at the sound check. Of course he didn’t know she was fourteen. If he had, he wouldn’t have spoken to her, but as it was, he respected her experience as Kitchen Sink’s touring sound engineer. Johnny had fought for her to do the gig but the others, including Rabbit’s brother, were adamant they wanted to use the guy who was actually qualified. Rabbit understood. She was happy to relinquish control. Sound engineering had never been her dream, and she knew that night would be the end of her short-lived career. Kitchen Sink had moved up a gear to better things, and Rabbit was relieved. She sat on the dressing-table leaning her back against the mirror Johnny was gazing into.

‘I look wrecked,’ he said.

‘You look great.’

‘I’m exhausted, Rabbit.’

‘You’re going to be great.’

‘We’re launching a single tonight.’

‘I know.’

‘Surreal.’

‘Cool,’ Rabbit said.

Jay was snoring and Johnny laughed. ‘Who the hell sleeps before a gig?’

A young woman knocked on the door and opened it. ‘The support band is going on. You have twenty minutes.’

‘Thanks,’ Johnny said. As he stood up, he faltered. He grabbed the counter and steadied himself. He looked shaken and vulnerable, but for only a second.

‘Are you OK?’ Rabbit asked, jumping off the counter and holding him up. He shook her off and pretended he was fine.

‘I’m OK. I’m fine, just tired.’

Paddy got rid of Sheila B so the coast was clear for Francie to leave the safety of a locked office. He was indulging in his first beer when Davey emerged from the loo with nothing left in his system.

‘Beer?’ Francie said, offering one to him.

‘Do you want me to explode?’

Louis appeared as Jay woke up. With five minutes to stage time, Rabbit left the band alone to get their heads together. She walked out into the audience and joined Grace, Marjorie, Grace’s current boyfriend, Conor, and Jack. He was dressed head to toe in denim.

‘What are you wearing, Da?’ she asked.

‘This is fashion.’ He winked.

‘Did you do this?’ Rabbit asked Grace.

‘He loves it.’

Before Rabbit had a chance to berate her sister the band was announced. Rabbit turned towards the stage and watched as Davey sat behind the drums, Francie and Jay strapped on their guitars, and Louis stood behind his keyboard. Davey clicked his sticks four times, the lads played, and she waited for Johnny to hit the stage. He missed his cue, the boys played on, the audience didn’t notice. Even Grace and Da didn’t notice.

Where is he?

He appeared and waved, the crowd cheered and he broke into song. Rabbit saw Francie visibly relax. After that, the gig went well. The crowd loved them, and when the lads played the single, they were mad for it. Grace, her boyfriend and Marjorie were bouncing and screaming. Rabbit’s da was standing proud, tapping his toe. Rabbit watched Johnny, waiting for something bad to happen.

Just before the encore, she made her way backstage and waited in the dressing room. She knew Davey would be upset: the dressing room was for the band only just before and directly after a gig, but she needed to see Johnny close up so she could work out what was going on.

Johnny was the first into the dressing room and when he entered he didn’t see her. He leaned against the wall.

‘You’re not just tired,’ she said, and he glanced at her, then dragged himself to a chair. He sat down, all energy expended. He was sapped, empty and unable to function. He put his head into his hands.

‘Why did you miss your cue?’

‘I got stuck.’

‘Stuck?’

‘I couldn’t move, Rabbit.’

‘You were scared?’

‘No. I just couldn’t put one foot in front of the other.’

‘You need to see someone.’

‘I know.’

‘I’ll come with you.’

‘No.’ He was adamant. ‘And, Rabbit, please don’t say anything.’

‘I promise.’

Just then the boys appeared, high on adrenalin and ready to party. They were so happy, they didn’t even notice Rabbit at first.

‘We’re going to number one,’ Francie said.

‘And when we do, London record companies are going to kill one another for us,’ Jay added.

‘It was a good gig.’ Johnny was trying his best to match their exuberance.

‘What the fuck happened on the first song?’ Louis asked.

‘Sorry, needed a piss,’ Johnny said. Francie and Jay laughed.

Davey nodded sympathetically. He looked at Rabbit. ‘What are you doing in here?’

‘I asked her to report on the sound,’ Johnny said.

‘Nice one! How was it?’ Francie asked.

‘Perfect.’

Francie grinned. ‘
Top of the Pops
, here we come.’

Rabbit slipped out while the boys were busy celebrating.

Later, when the venue was about to close, she found Johnny leaning against the corridor wall. She walked over to him and put her arm around his waist.

‘The lads are going on to a club but I need to go home,’ he said. She let him lean on her. ‘I’m really tired, Rabbit.’

‘So we’ll go home,’ she said, and they walked out through the front of house. Rabbit took off her backstage pass and Johnny handed his to her. She gave them to Grace and her boyfriend.

‘Can you drop Johnny home, Da?’ she asked.

‘Of course I can,’ he said. ‘A little too much to drink, son? If there was ever a night to down a few too quickly, this would be the one.’

Marjorie bounced in front of him and told him how deadly he was. ‘Deadly, deadly, deadly, the best ever, ever, ever.’

Johnny smiled and thanked her, and Rabbit helped him into the front seat of the car. He fell asleep instantly, and even though Marjorie talked excitedly throughout the entire journey home, and Jack played the radio, Johnny didn’t wake once. Rabbit watched him with a knot tightening in her stomach. It had been the best possible night and at the same time it had been the worst.

MOLLY AND JACK
were on the road by eight a.m. It was dull, and heavy grey clouds threatened rain. Jack was tired; they had both been up studying alternative therapies and clinical trials in America. Their search had been frustratingly fruitless. Molly had looked into everything from Biofeedback to Labyrinth Walking and concluded that the Americans were mad. ‘How in the name of God and all that is holy does walking in a fucking circle cure cancer?’