in touch with her father. For reasons I don't quite
understand-perhaps because he withheld his affection
from her-Betty Sue had an unhealthy fixation on him.
I would think she would have been in touch with him.
Yes, I would look for the father," he said, then leaned
back in his chair, sipped his drink, and sighed heavily,
like a detective who had just broken a big, sadly
corrupt case in an existential movie.
My temper and my mouth had always gotten me in
trouble. And occasionally prevented me from picking
up the information I needed. I wanted to tell Gleeson
to stuff his stupid advice. I also wanted to tell him to
stuff his Time magazine analysis, and to explain what
fixation meant, but instead of carping, I kept my mouth
shut, my temper in hand.
"I never had a chance to meet Betty Sue when she
was growing up," I said, changing directions. "What
sort of girl was she?"
"One in a million," he answered, quickly but softly,
then paused abruptly as if he had confessed to something. I knew I had him now.
"Why?"
"Why?" he whispered. "When I first saw her, she
was playing in a grade school production of Cinderella,
which I had to attend for reasons I don't even want to
think about now. A simply dreadful production, even
for grade school, and Betty Sue had been wasted in the
fairy godmother role, but let me tell you, my friend,
when that little girl, that mere child, was onstage, all
the other children seemed like creatures of a lesser
race. She had the best natural stage presence I had ever
seen. Offstage, she wasn't anything special, a pleasantlooking child, no more, but onstage she was in charge.
Such presence. Such a r,tatural sense of character, too. "
He paused to chuckle. "Her fairy godmother was a
queen, her gifts bestowed grandly on her inferiors. And
even then, she had a frighteningly sexual presence. You
49
could almost hear the middle-aged libidos in the
audience whimpering to be unleashed.
"After the production, I went backstage to talk to
her," he continued, "and found her staring with such
awful longing eyes at the little girl who had played
Cinderella that I gave her a lecture then and there
about how good she had been. I'm afraid I quite lost
control for a bit. When I finished, she looked up at me
and said , 'It's just a prettier dress than mine, that's all. I
wouldn't be Cinderella, anyway. I wouldn't stand for
it.' She was nine, my friend, nine years old.
"After that, of course, I took her in hand, and
whenever possible I arranged my high school and Little
Theatre productions with a role for her in mind. I also
tried to get that horrid mother of hers to allow me to
enroll her in an acting class in the city-even offered to
pay all the expenses out of my own pocket. Of course,
she refused. 'Buncha damn foolishness,' I believe were
her exact words." He paused again and clasped his
hands together. "Her damned mother foxed me at
every turn. I suppose she had been considered goodlooking in her youth-though the idea escapes me now-and she resented Betty Sue. And who wouldn't,
stuck on that horrid trailer house behind that sordid
beer joint. Once, when Betty Sue was fifteen, I had a
friend-a professional photographer-take a portfolio
of photographs of her. They were lovely. Later, when I
asked Betty Sue what she had done with it, she told me
that it had been lost, but I remain convinced that her
mother destroyed it.
"So sad," he said, sipped his drink, and hurried on.
"At fifteen, she played Antigone in Anouilh's version,
and at sixteen, Mother Courage. I wouldn't have
believed it possible."
"Pretty heavy stuff for high school," I said.
"Little Theatre productions," he said. "We had a
great company then. Even the San Francisco papers
so
reviewed our productions favorably. She was so wonderful. " He sounded like a man remembering heroics in an ancient war. "With a bit of luck, she might have
made it on Broadway or in Hollywood. With a bit of
luck," he repeated like a man who had had none. "The
luck is nearly as essential as the talent, you know."
Then he gazed into his empty glass.
I broke into his reverie. "How old was she when you
seduced her?"
Gleeson laughed lightly without hesitation, his
capped teeth gleeming in the sunlight. The hummingbird buzzed the sun deck like a gentle blue blur, pausing to check Gleeson's fragrance. But he wasn't a
flower, so the bird flicked away. Gleeson rattled his ice
cubes and stood up.
"I think I'll have that drink now," he said pleasantly.
"Would you care for another Tecate?"
"I'd rather have an answer to my question," I said.
"My good fellow," he said as he fixed a drink,
"you've been the victim of sordid rumors and vicious
gossip."
"I got your name from Mrs. Flowers," I said, "and
that's all. Except that I understand now why she gritted
her teeth when she said it. Otherwise, I don't know a
thing about you that you didn't tell me. "
"Or that you surmised?"
"Guessed."
"You do the country bumpkin very well, my friend,"
he said as he handed me another beer. "But you
slipped up when you didn't ask me to explain what ACf
stood for, and you didn't learn about Brecht and
Anouilh in the police academy or in a correspondence
course for private investigators. "
"I'm supposed to be the detective."
"I imagine you play that role quite well, too," he
said, "and I suspect that it isn't in my best interest to
continue this conversation. "
51
"I don't live here," I said. "I couldn't care less how
many adolescent hymens you have hanging in your
trophy room. Better you here with candlelight and
good wine than some pimpled punk in the back seat of
a car with a six-pack of Coors."
"I'm not that easily flattered," he said, but I could
see smutty little fires glowing in the depths of his eyes.
"However, I do occasionally indulge myself," he
added, smiling wetly. "Most of the simple folk in town
think I'm a faggot, and I let them. A very nice
protective coloration, don't you think?" I nodded.
"But Betty Sue and I never had that sort of relationship. Not that I wasn't sorely tempted, mind you-she had a fierce sexuality about her-and not that she might
not have been willing. Certainly, if I had known _
. . . known how things were going to work out, known
that she wouldn't pursue a career in the theatre, I
would have snatched her up in a moment. But I was
afraid that a sexual relationship might interfere with
our professional relationship."
"Professional?"
"That's right," he said. "I may be only a high school
drama teacher now, but I have worked off-Broadway
and in television, even taught in college, and I know the
business. Betty Sue might have made it. And I confess
that I intended to use her if she did." He sighed again.
"Athletic coaches often rise on the legs of their star
players, and I saw no reason why I shouldn't have the
same chance. So I abstained. Betty Sue, as young girls
so often do, might have grown bored with the older
man in her life, and confused the sexual relationship
with the professional one. So, my friend, I kept my
hands off her," he said with just the right touch of
remorse mixed with pride.
"I'm sorry," I said, trying to see his fare behind the
wistful mask. "You must still have friends in the
52
theatre," I said, "and I assume that you have asked
them about Betty Sue over the years. "
"So often that I've become an object of some
derision," he said ruefully. "But no one has ever seen
or heard of her. That's a dead end, I'm afraid."
"Could she have been pregnant?"
"She could have, yes," he said. "I assumed that she
wasn't a virgin much past her fourteenth birthday. But,
of course, I had no way of knowing."
"You know," I said, still bothered about the earlier
lie about his drink, "sometimes people confess a little
thing-like your selfish intentions about her career-to
cover up something larger."
"What could I possibly have to hide?" he said
blandly.
"I don't know," I said, then leaned forward until our
hands nearly touched. "I've got a little education," I
said, "but I'm particularly sophisticated-"
"Still a country boy at heart?" he interrupted.
"Right. And, like you said, you're a professionalyou know all about acting and lying, wearing masks," I said, "and if I find out that you've been lying to me, old
buddy, I'll damn sure be back to discuss it with you." I
crushed my empty beer can in my fist. An oldfashioned steel can.
Gleeson laughed nervously. "You're a terrible
fraud," he said as cheerfully as he could. "You couldn't
fool a child with that act."
"Unlike yours, old buddy," I said, "mine ain't an
act." Then I grabbed his wrist and squeezed the heavy
silver bracelet into his soft flesh. "Intellectual discourse
is great, man, but in my business, violence and pain is
where it's at. "
"My god," he squeaked, squirming, "you're breaking my ann."
"That's just the beginning, man," I said. "Keep in
53
mind the fact that I like this, that I don't like you worth
a damn."
"Please," he whimpered, sweat beading across his
scalp.
"Let's have the rest of it," I whispered.
"There's nothing, I swear . . . Please . . . you're
breaking . . . "
"Listen, old buddy," I said pleasantly, "the U.S.
Army trained me at great expense in interrogation,
filled my head with all sorts of psychological crap, but
when I got to Nam, we didn't do no psychology, we
hooked the little suckers up to a telephone crankalligator clips on the foreskin and nipples-and the little bastards were a hundred times tougher than you,
but when we rang that telephone, the little bastards
answered."
"All right," he groaned, "all right." I released h,is
wrist. "Can't you get this off?" he grunted as he
struggled with the bent bracelet.
"Sure," I said, then straightened the silver. His face
wrinkled and his eyelids fluttered. He rubbed his wrist
as I fixed him a drink. "You had something to tell me."