A noise behind me
distracted me from my thoughts and I looked behind me. I saw Zane walking
through the living room and into the kitchen, and my heart lit up. It literally
felt as if someone had lit a match and the warmth was heating up my entire
body. I felt light and happy, and as I watched him, I knew that I wouldn’t have
done anything differently if I had to do it all over again. This was my moment.
He was my Zane and this was how it was meant to be. I just hoped that
everything worked out the way that I wanted it to. I wasn’t sure if I would be
able to cope if it all went wrong.
***
“Where
do you want to go for breakfast?” Zane joined me outside in the garden and
drank his coffee.
“I
don’t know. Maybe we can grab something and go eat in the park?”
“Like
a picnic?”
“I
guess.”
“I
suppose I should get some flowers and champagne as well?” He grinned at me.
“Well,
I don’t know if I can drink.” I bit my lip and blushed as he realized what he
had said.
“Shit!
I didn’t even think about that.” His face turned serious. “I don’t really know
much about babies.”
“Neither
do I.” I put my mug down and picked some of the flowers next to me. “In fact, I
know nothing.”
“What
a fine pair we make.” Zane chuckled and I looked up to see his eyes were
shining with mirth. “We’ll have to take some classes. And read some books. Yes,
let’s go to the bookstore and get some books.”
“Before
or after we shop for new sheets and groceries?”
“I
guess we can go and get the books tomorrow.”
“Let’s
wait to see if I’m pregnant first.” I heard the words coming out of my mouth,
but they seemed so surreal. Everything seemed surreal. I pressed my hand to my
forehead and closed my eyes.
“What’s
wrong?” Zane rushed towards me with concern in his voice. “Are you okay?”
I
opened my eyes and saw him staring at me with worry. I smiled at him shyly, not
sure how to feel about him being so protective. On the one hand, it made me
feel like he really cared, but then it also made me feel like he thought I was
weak. And I never wanted to be that weak girl. Not again. I’d matured past
that.
“Do
you need to go lie down?” He reached over to pick me up, and I pushed him away.
“No,
I want to go and eat. Preferably pancakes.”
“Pancakes
on a picnic?” Zane gave me his special ‘I like you, but you’re kind of kooky’
look, and I had a vision of him at the diner a few months ago, sitting at his
special booth, waiting for his date to decide between a garden salad and a
veggie burger. I had stood there waiting patiently, trying not to tap my foot
and sigh, and he had given me a special look while his date had taken her sweet
time thinking about what to order. I can still remember the special feeling
that had caressed me and I laughed now as I had then: uncontrollably and
hysterically. I was laughing so hard that I had to bend over to catch my
breath. “You okay, Lucky?”
“Yes,”
I gasped. “Just don’t make that look again.” I hiccupped and Zane wiggled his
eyebrows at me. “Or do that,” I glared at him and he contorted his face.
“Would
you rather me look like a scary monster?”
“You’re
still a handsome scary monster.”
“She
thinks I’m handsome, she thinks I’m handsome.” He jumped up and ran around the
garden, pumping his fist in the air, and I laughed again. This time I was able
to control it and I watched him running around like a man with no worries or
concerns. For that brief moment, everything was all right and was going to be
fine. There was nothing that was weighing our minds down.
“Zane,
are you done yet? I’m hungry.” I jumped up and looked at the flowers still in
my hand. “And what flowers are these? I love them.”
He
walked over to me, still smiling, and looked down at the stems in my hand. He
picked up the flower with the huge white petals and a green center and smiled.
“This is my favorite; it’s a Pom Daisy.”
“A
Pom Daisy? Like a pom-pom?” I questioned, secretly happy that his favorite
flower was my favorite of all the flowers in his garden as well.
“Well,
you can’t do a cheer with it, but yes,” he laughed.
“I
bet you dated all the cheerleaders in high school, didn’t you?” A flash of
jealousy hit me as I asked the question and I surveyed his face intently. I
wanted to ask him what sort of girls he usually dated, but I knew that would be
opening Pandora’s Box and I didn’t really want to go there.
“Not
all.” He stared back at me. “Just some.”
“Oh,
sounds like me, I only dated some of the football players,” I retorted
instinctively. I groaned inside at my words.
How immature was I?
“I’m
sure they all wanted to date you,” he said lightly, his eyes piercing into
mine. “Now, this flower here,” he continued and picked up another flower from
my hand. “This flower is an Amaryllis. It’s a native plant of South America. Do
you see how the petals are red on the outside and white on the inside? Well, I
always call these petals blood-soaked.”
“Blood-soaked?”
My voice rose. “Well, that’s morbid.”
“I
know.” He grinned and handed the two flowers back to me. “I wish I had some
roses to give you, then I could recite Shakespeare or make up my own ditty:
Lucky, let me count the ways that …”
“You
want to eat me,” I interrupted laughing.
“Well,
among other things.”
“Zane!”
I grabbed his hand and pulled him inside with me. “Let’s go out. And no more
sexual innuendos for the rest of the day.”
“That
I can’t promise.”
***
I
licked the last drops of syrup from the corners of my mouth and grinned at
Zane. “I can’t believe I’ve never noticed the way you eat before.” I watched as
he put his cutlery down on the plate. “You’re so prim and proper, Miss Emily
would be so proud.”
“Who’s
Miss Emily?” He looked at me in confusion.
“The
etiquette queen, duh.”
“Oh
you mean Emily Post?”
“Yes!”
“I’ve
never heard her called Miss Emily before. It must be a southern thing.”
“I’m
not southern,” I growled.
“You’re
from the South.”
“I’m
from Florida.”
“Florida’s
in the south.” He grinned. “Or do you need a geography lesson?”
“I
know it’s in the south, but it’s not
the
South like South Carolina and Arkansas. Now they are the South.”
“What
about Alabama and Mississippi?”
“Well,
they are as well.” I rolled my eyes at him as if to say,
duh
.
“So
all the states in the south are the South aside from Florida?”
“That’s
not what I mean.”
“So
are you telling me I’m not dating a Southern Belle?”
“I’m
telling you that if you’re looking for Scarlett O’Hara, you’re dating the wrong
girl.”
“Did
your grandparents live on a plantation? Did they have slaves? Did your mother
have a mammy?” Zane cocked his head at me and I reached over and slapped his
hand.
“You’re
an idiot, you know that?”
“Tell
me, Lucky, what do you think of the Civil War? Do you wish the South had won?”
“Zane
Beaumont,” I growled. “I do declare that you’re trying to upset my righteous
mind, but I will not let you do that to me
this
fine morning.” I spoke in my best Southern accent and we both laughed.
“It’s
fascinating though.” Zane looked up at me seriously. “Our country has such a
rich and deep history. Our grandparents lived such different lives, had such
different views. I sometimes wonder what life would be like if certain things
didn’t change.”
“I
sometimes wonder what it would have been like to have lived in the 1940s.” I
paused and looked up to make sure I wasn’t boring him. “And in the Middle
Ages.”
“The
Middle Ages?”
“Yes,
I’ve always wanted to witness what society was like during that time. There was
an expansion of population of about 35 million to 80 million people in Europe
between 1000 and 1347. Can you believe that? That’s incredible! And then there
were the religious crusades and the system of feudalism was introduced. It’s
all so fascinating.”
“Wow,
you really do love history.”
“I
do. My heart is with modern history, as you know, and the Civil Rights
Movement, but I’m a bit of a European history buff as well. I’ve often thought
about doing my dissertation on the parallels between the Middle Ages and the
Civil Rights Movement.”
“There
are parallels?” Zane looked surprised and I laughed.
“Well,
I’d have to research. That’s the point.” I laughed and then looked down as I
remembered that I may never get to do that research. I’m not sure how I would
be able to do it if I were pregnant and had a baby. How would I be able to go
to grad school then?
“What’s
wrong?” Zane frowned as he saw my expression change.
“Nothing.”
I smiled brightly, not wanting to share my thoughts with him. “Are you done? We
still have to go shopping.” I changed the subject quickly.
“Did
you know that when I was in school, we learned about William the Conqueror and
Harold of Hastings, and Noah and I would always play a game called The Battle
of Hastings comes to Los Angeles?” Zane smiled at the memory. “And we used Star
Wars light sabers that my dad got us. And we would run around, zapping each
other.” He laughed. “I just remembered that, that was a fun game.”
“I’m
impressed that you remember what happened in 1066.” I smiled at him gently and
leaned forward. “You’re more of a history buff than I thought.”
“I
should note that William had R2D2 on his side and Harold had C-3PO and we
weren’t fighting for England, but for the moon,” Zane laughed.
“Well,
as long as it was for the moon.” I reached over and grabbed his hand. “I wish I
would have gotten to meet Noah.” I spoke gently, not wanting to upset him.
“So
do I.” He laid some money on the table and stood up. “Now, let’s go shopping.”
***
“I
can’t believe you wanted to come to Ikea.” Zane looked lost in the sea of
people. “I can’t say that I’ve ever been here before, but I’ve never heard it
was the place to get bedding.”
“I
don’t know that it’s the place to get bedding, but it is the place to get
affordable bedding.” I made a face at him.
“I
don’t want to push the fact that I have money in your face. But I don’t need to
go to the Costco of bed sheets.”
“This
isn’t the Costco of bed sheets, you snob.” I shook my head. “In fact, I don’t
even know what that means. How can this be the Costco of bed sheets? Do you
think we’re going to get a big pack of 10 sheets and duvets?” I laughed. “To go
with our 100 pack of toilet paper.”
“You
can get a 100 pack of toilet paper rolls?” Zane looked like a light bulb had
gone off in his head. “You mean I could buy a lifetime’s supply of toilet paper
on one trip?”
“Zane!
Focus, we’re here to buy sheets and a duvet cover.”
“I’d
still like to know why we’re in an Ikea, and not some swanky store in Beverly
Hills.”
“I
can’t afford to buy sheets in Beverly Hills.” I sighed. “I wanted this to be my
treat to you because you’re changing them for me.”
“Lucky,
no.” Zane looked at me in shock. “You can’t afford that.”
“I
want to,” I said obstinately. It was true that I didn’t really have the money
to buy him sheets, but I also needed to feel that I wasn’t just getting a free
ride. “Besides, I’ll be getting a paycheck soon, right?”
“I
don’t really want you spending your hard-earned money on me.” He frowned. “But
if you insist. And if you will actually accept and cash my paycheck.”
“I
…” my voice trailed off. He was right. I did feel funny about cashing the
checks. It just didn’t seem right to take money from my boyfriend, no matter if
I was working for him or not. It was okay when we were just friends, but to be
sleeping with him and taking money made it all seem a bit sleazy.
“Lucky,
you have to take the money.” Zane folded his arms across the chest. “You still
have to send Leeza your rent money every month.”
“I
know, I know.” I crinkled my nose and grabbed his arm. “Let’s go look at
sheets, we can talk about this later.” We finally moved away from the couches
and I saw a little girl staring at us curiously. She was bouncing up and down
on a beanbag chair while her parents measured the dimensions of one of white
couches to the right of them. I was surprised that they were considering a
white couch with a kid; frankly I wouldn’t get a white couch if it were just
me, not with how messy I was. I smiled at the little girl as we walked and she
stuck her tongue out at me and turned her face away. I giggled to myself at her
precociousness and I saw Zane giving me a side-long glance. I was sure he was
likely wondering if I was crazy or not, but I just smiled and continued
walking. Let him think what he wants. The crazy part might be right; I wouldn’t
doubt it if someone said that I was.