The Last of Lady Lansdown (26 page)

“I might as well be dead,” Mama said, tears glistening on her cheeks.

While Jane searched for comforting words, she was struck by how much her mother’s appearance had changed since Papa left. Her once-abundant mane of chestnut hair had thinned and gone gray, her once rosy cheeks were now pale and gaunt, and her eyes no longer sparkled with the joy of life.
Shame on me for not noticing. I was too caught up with my own problems.
“Mama, please don’t talk that way. I know how you suffered when Papa left. If there were anything I could do,
anything
that would make you happy, you know I would do it, but what choice do I have? We must leave this place and go to the dower house whether we like it or not.”

Amelia took up a serviette and dabbed at her eyes. “I’m sorry. I should not burden you with all my woes. It’s just ... I don’t have much to live for anymore.” With a weak smile she continued, “I shall get over it. In the meantime, I assure you I’m not going to kill myself, even though all I see in my future is bleakness and despair.” She dabbed at her eyes again and said in a firmer voice, “Unless ... There
is
something you can do.”

“Anything.”

Mama’s lips twisted in a wry smile. “Perhaps you had better wait until you hear what I’m about to ask.”

“Just tell me.”

“I want you to remain silent and not tell anyone you got your monthly.”

Moments passed before her mother’s astounding request sunk in. “That is impossible. How can I kept it a secret?
Why
should I keep it a secret?”

Mama sat straight again, some of her confidence restored. “I shall be very honest.”

“Please do.”

“You know how I feel about Beatrice.”

“It’s how we both feel.”

“You know how galling it is for me, watching her take over the household and have her own way. I could not believe she poisoned your tea, but she did. Then the fire at the stables. You could have been killed, thanks to Beatrice and her boundless greed.”

“That is exactly how I feel, too, but what does that have to do with—?”

“I am coming to that.” The older woman paused a moment before she took a deep breath. “You are having an affair with Douglas Cartland.”

Jane gasped, utterly shocked by her mother’s words. “Why do you think that?”

“The night of the fire I saw you two together.” Mama leveled a knowing gaze. “You can’t fool me, my dear daughter. If only you could have seen the two of you like I did. I saw the love and concern in Douglas’ eyes. The way he was holding you, touching you. It was as if you didn’t have an inch of skin with which he was not familiar. You were so very comfortable in his embrace, as if you’d been there before. His feelings were obvious and so were yours. I am just glad Beatrice wasn’t there or she’d have seen it, too, and would instantly have known.” Mama’s piercing gaze drilled into her. “It is quite obvious you’ve been intimate with the man.”

Words of denial raced to Jane’s lips, but she couldn’t say them. Why lie? If ever there was a time for honesty, this was it. “If you must know, it has only happened the once, well twice. I am not ashamed of it, and I really don’t know why I should tell you.”

“So I was right.” For a time Mama remained silent, as if in deep thought. “I know it’s risky. It might be impossible to pull off, but I do believe it is most certainly worth a try.”

“
What
is worth a try?”

“Use your head.
Think
. What did Sir Archibald say? That ten months would have to go by before it was an absolutely proven fact you are not with child? Well, then ...?” Mama fell silent and sat waiting, obviously expecting an enlightened answer.

“I still don’t understand.”

Mama pursed her lips in annoyance. “Such a delicate subject, but you force me to lay out all the details.”

“Just tell me straight out.”

“Straight out then. You have just delivered the devastating news that you got your monthly. We shall, however, keep your news to ourselves. By that, I mean that absolutely
no
one
must know other than the two of us. Cartland will be gone two weeks?” Jane nodded. “Perfect. When he returns, you and he will resume your ... for the sake of propriety, I shall call it
friendship
. If good fortune shines upon us, you will soon be in a family way, and, of course, give birth to a boy who will be the next Earl of Lansdown.”

Jane’s jaw dropped open. “That’s ... that’s ...” At first she could find no words to express her shock. “I cannot believe you would even suggest such a thing. It’s obscene. It’s insane.”

Mama shrugged. “One does what one has to do.”

“We would never get away with it.”

“
Au contraire
. Sir Archibald might be suspicious, but there’s a real chance we can fool him. I know you’re shocked.” Mama spoke in a voice so casual she might have been discussing which guests to invite for dinner. “But there’s a real chance this plan will work. If it does, we can stay right here in Chatfield Court where we belong, with every advantage that’s due us. Millicent will have an ample dowry. As for Beatrice, just think! Would you not love to see the look on her face the day she must pack her bags and leave this place forever? That’s how I feel, Jane, as should you. Don’t forget, you nearly died in a fire Beatrice is responsible for, and don’t tell me otherwise.”

Jane shook her head in amazement. “What astounds me the most is how my very proper mother, who always obeys the rules, could even suggest such an outlandish scheme.”

“Out of sheer desperation, I assure you.”

Had her mother lost her senses? This could not be real. Soon she would wake up and discover she had just had a horrible dream. “All right, I do understand, but what you suggest simply isn’t feasible. In the first place, you know very well nothing is sacred around here. What with Bruta constantly snooping around, I would not be surprised if she’s already found out I’ve come ’round and rushed to tell Beatrice.”

Mama appeared unfazed. “I am well aware my plan might not work, but if you have any love for your family at all, you’ll at least agree to try.”

“Do you realize what you’re asking?”

“Of course I do, but ...” Once more, Amelia’s eyes filled with tears. “Everything in my life has gone wrong. This is my only chance for an even halfway decent life. Yours, too, and, of course, Millicent’s.”

“Have you forgotten Papa’s letter? Could we not go to America and forget all this?”

“I would never be happy in America. I admit I’m a creature of habit. I don’t want anything to change and that is that.” Mama folded her hands in her lap, sat back and waited for an answer. “So what’s it to be? Will you give it a try?”

“It won’t work. Granny and Millicent already know. I told them a while ago.”

“They can keep a secret. After all, they’re on our side.”

“If you must know, there’s another reason, too.” Jane hated revealing the most intimate details of her life. “I have fallen in love with Douglas. Possibly I want to marry him. What would happen if I agree to your plan?”

“I don’t see—”

“Well, I see. I would be deceiving him, absolutely making a dupe of him. If he found out, I would never see him again.”

Mama cocked her head. “Has he asked you to marry him?”

“Well, no.”

A look of triumph flashed through Mama’s eyes. “Then how can you be sure he will ask? I know you don’t want me interfering in your private life, but it seems to me he’s simply taking advantage and has no intention of ... shall we say, making an honest woman of you.”

Could Mama be right? In the euphoria of her newfound love for Douglas, she had not even considered he might not propose. “To be honest, I am not sure what Douglas intends.”

“If he does not propose, then so much the better,” her mother equably replied. “That way, he won’t be involved since he won’t care one way or the other that you’re with child.”

“If I were to take up with Douglas, it’s absurd to think I would immediately conceive a child.”

“I know it’s absurd, but it’s possible. If it doesn’t happen, what have you lost?”

Jane knew full well how she ought to reply to such outrageous logic, and yet, just looking into her mother’s strained, careworn face made her wonder how she could say no. But how could she say yes? “I need time to think.”

“Of course.”

“I’m not saying I’ll do it, but I agree not to say anything, at least for a little while.”

“You can handle Bruta?”

“I can’t answer that. If by chance she doesn’t already know, I’ll do my best to keep it secret.”

“See that you do, darling. I’m depending on you to do the right thing.”

Although she did her best to conceal it, Jane left her mother’s bedchamber in a high state of agitation. She suspected Mama had temporarily taken leave of her senses, a condition no doubt caused not only because she nearly lost her daughter in the fire but because the one thing she feared the most had finally happened. No wonder she was upset. She was about to lose her home once again, as well as her precious standing in society. Jane understood her mother’s feelings perfectly well, but her request was shocking, nonetheless.

When Jane entered her bedchamber, she discovered Bruta tidying up. Did she know? “I’m going to rest a while, Bruta, so that will be all.”

“Very well, m’lady.” The sullen lady’s maid looked her square in the eye and said in an offhand voice, “I see you’ve come ’round.”

Uh-oh
. There went her secret. Mama’s plan would never succeed now. Unless ... “Bruta, have you told anyone?”

“No, madam.”

Jane stood tall, tilted her chin and looked down her nose in the imperious pose she hardly ever used. “Then I prefer that you do not. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, madam.”

Jane wondered if she was getting through to her stony-faced lady’s maid. “You are not to tell anyone, and I mean
anyone
. Do you understand?”

“Of course, madam.”

Bruta left shortly thereafter, leaving Jane to wonder if she would really keep her mouth shut or go running to Beatrice to give her the welcome news. Well, she would soon find out. Meantime, she would keep her promise and not tell, at least for the moment. Surely, when Mama gathered her wits about her, she would realize such a farfetched scheme would never work.

Two days later, Griggs brought her a letter. “This just arrived, m’lady.” Seeing it was from Douglas, Jane hastened to her bedchamber to open it. Could there be a proposal in the letter? Had he declared his love? Eagerly she ripped it open.

My Dear Countess,

Thank you for your kind words. I am extremely happy your problem has been resolved.

Upon my return in two weeks, I shall call upon you to express in person my admiration for your strength and courage. I shall also be saying my goodbyes since I shall soon be setting sail for America
.

—Cartland

Jane sank to her bed, totally numb and deflated. What a fool she was to expect a declaration of undying love. What insanity to think he might even propose.

You idiot, what did you expect?

In all their times together, neither the word “love” nor “marriage” had been mentioned once. In fact, had not Douglas clearly stated he would never marry? Foolishly, she had ignored his words, choosing to wrap herself in infatuation’s rosy glow. Now, in the cold light of a new day, she saw their so-called romance was nothing more than a mere dalliance, prompted by lust, not love.

She crumpled the letter and tossed it into the fireplace, where it quickly vanished in the flames.

Douglas Cartland could also go to blazes.

That evening, when she entered the dining room for dinner, she was surprised to find only her own family at the table. Beatrice and James were absent.

“Where are the Eltons?” she asked Griggs.

“Gone to London, m’lady. Rather suddenly, I must say.” The butler gave her a bland smile. “Perhaps it has something to do with Mister Percy Elton’s hasty departure.”

“Did they say when they would be back?”

“No, they did not. However, I got the impression they would not be gone long.”

How interesting that Beatrice had not said a word about traveling plans. Could it be that she had somehow discovered Percy’s recent “problem”?

She doubted Bruta was in any way responsible. To her surprise, Bruta appeared to have kept her secret.

Well, whatever the reason, Jane felt vastly relieved she would not have to deal with the terrible Eltons for the next few days.

Late that night the rains began again. During the next several days, storm after storm rolled over the landscape, dumping more water on the already-soaked ground than anyone had seen in years. Jane spent the week thoroughly enjoying the absence of the Eltons, yet her mother’s outrageous request weighed down on her, as oppressive as the weather.

Finally she arose one morning to see that the skies had cleared. What a happy sight! At last she could get out of the house and visit Beauty again.

When she arrived at Lord Rennie’s stables, she found Rennie himself in the courtyard grooming both her horse and his. “Beauty’s doing fine.” He pointed to the burn near her tail. “We have kept the salve on it, and it’s nearly healed.”

“Do you suppose I could ride her?” She wore her blue riding habit just in case.

“I don’t see why not. I’ll get you a saddle. If you don’t mind, I’ll ride with you.”

They chose the path by the river, Jane on Beauty and Rennie riding his prize horse, Major. “I cannot believe it’s the same river,” Jane remarked. The last time she rode this trail, the River Hulm was nothing more than a shallow stream that Beauty could cross and hardly get her hooves wet. Now the river ran fast, deep, and near the top of its banks. She would not dare ride across it today.

“How is your sister?” Rennie inquired as they rode along. “It’s too bad she couldn’t come.”

Damnation
. She knew sooner or later he would ask about Millicent. “My sister is in good health, Lord Rennie. Thank you for asking. She’s just awfully bored because of all the rain and not being able to get out.” She hoped he would now have the good sense to change the subject.