“If my mother is alive, I will find her,” I announced to the room, my voice breaking slightly. “We cannot let Morgana use the dagger to release Dragath.”
I had absolutely no idea how I was going to accomplish that, but I was going to give it my best shot.
Uncle Gabriel shook his head tiredly. “She will not release him until she has the book and all the four keys,” he said. “We still have time, but we must make sure she never gets her hands on those three remaining keys. That’s why we will take one of the keys with us when we go to Elfi. It will be safe with Isadora.”
“But what about my mother?” I said, perturbed that no one was concerned about releasing her. “We need to go to Illiador and take back the dagger first.”
“No, Aurora, you cannot go running off unprepared into Morgana’s castle and take back the dagger. It is not so easy.”
“But . . .”
“No buts, Aurora,” said Uncle Gabriel, raising his voice. “Your parents did not give their lives to save you just so you could run straight into Morgana’s clutches. I will not allow it. And have you forgotten about Lilith, or the throne of Illiador? It is your parents’ legacy, the one they died to protect.”
That was just about all I could take. I stood up, pushing my chair back so hard it nearly toppled over. “I’m tired of everyone telling me what I can and can’t do,” I said, shouting at all of them and none in particular. “And no, I haven’t forgotten about Lilith. That’s why I came to see you in the first place. But I will not go on an extended holiday to Elfi to see my long-lost grandmother just so that she can teach me more magic. I know enough. I fought Morgana once, and I can do it again. You all seem to think you know what’s best for me, but none of you even know me. My real mother is alive, and you want me to just look the other way until I find a convenient time to find her. I can’t do that.”
Uncle Gabriel, Penelope, Aunt Serena, and Rafe were staring at me. This was the first time I had actually shouted at any of them. I hated to raise my voice, and I disliked being rude, but I was tired of being pushed around. Well, it stopped now. I was going to do what I thought was right.
I looked around and sat back down on my chair, feeling a little foolish after my rowdy outburst. But Uncle Gabriel had it coming. He rested his elbows on the arms of the high-backed, mahogany chair and pressed his fingertips together as he assessed me from under his bushy silver eyebrows. Finally, after a few agonizingly stretched out moments, he spoke.
“I will take what you have said under consideration,” said Uncle Gabriel, “but you have to understand that your education is in no way over, or even half done. The old magic of the fae is unpredictable and very complicated, even more so than the magic of the mages. Demon magic is even more powerful. It is ancient magic, and few have ever really understood it.”
Granduncle Gabriel paused to see if everyone was listening, then, satisfied at the undivided attention he was receiving, turned back to me and continued.
“Even if you do somehow manage to travel through Illiador without getting caught by Morgana’s remaining Shadow Guard and by some means manage to enter the castle at Nerenor, how will you defeat Morgana? How will you find the dagger? How will you know where it is? It could be hidden anywhere. It may not even be in the castle. Have you even thought of that?”
I kept quiet while my heroic dreams were smashed to bits. The hope of ever seeing my birth mother was fading away into the realm of the impossible. But Uncle Gabriel wasn’t finished. He continued talking.
“Then, even if somehow you do manage to find the dagger, how will you get out of the castle? And say you even manage to do that, although I would imagine you would probably be dead by this point, I would like to know how you propose to break the ancient demon curse on the dagger and free your mother? Especially when you don’t know the first thing about demons and the magic that they possess.”
I hung my head. He was right; I was being foolish. How could I ever have thought that I would do all these things? I would have liked to think that I could, but the road ahead sounded impossible. Even with the powers I had, I would never be able to get into the castle, let alone find and steal the dagger and free my mother. I needed help, but no one was going to give it to me. I was on my own again, and I had absolutely no idea what to do next.
30
A Plan
I wandered the long corridors of the Summer Palace for hours, thinking. What should I do? I knew what I wanted to do, but Uncle Gabriel had expressly forbidden me to pursue the dagger. I couldn’t just forget about it just like that. My mother had given her life for me. After what I saw in the dream, how could I not at least try and save her? Uncle Gabriel could take one key to Elfi so that Morgana couldn’t open the Book of Abraxas. And it made sense to go after the dagger at the same time. If we released my mother and destroyed the dagger, Morgana could never release Dragath.
I was supposedly the most powerful fae-mage since Auraken Firedrake, but I was not a legendary king. I could not command armies and lead battles; Uncle Gabriel didn’t really need me. They only needed me as someone to put on the throne. I would be a puppet, answering only to Uncle Gabriel if he did manage it. I knew Uncle Gabriel and Aunt Serena and the king and everyone else were expecting me to be a queen. And even though I didn’t think I was queen material, I would try my best, but only after I found my mother.
I knew it was hard. I knew what I was proposing was foolish, but there had to be a way. If only someone would help me. I needed more information. I couldn’t understand why the dreams had only started after I turned sixteen. So I went to see Penelope. She wasn’t in her room, and I finally found her walking in the gardens. When she saw me, she led me to a bench and sat down, gesturing me to sit beside her.
“Tell me, my dear,” Penelope said kindly, “how can I help? I can see something is bothering you. I have to say, I hope you don’t expect me to try and convince your granduncle to take you to Illiador. His mind has been made up, and nothing can change it. You have to understand he only wants the best for you and for the kingdom.”
I nodded. “It’s not that, Penelope,” I began, “it’s just that I don’t understand why the dreams only started when I turned sixteen. Why didn’t I remember any of this when I was younger?”
“Yes, I had thought about this earlier,” said Penelope, “but I didn’t voice my opinion. Maybe I should have.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Well,” she began, “there is a certain sort of fae glamour that can repress memories until they are ready to be revealed. It is an ancient art, wielded only by the spirit fae.”
“Which means?” I asked, still confused at what she was getting at.
“I have been thinking about this since you told us about the dream,” said Penelope, “and I was going to speak to you about it at one point, but I cannot be sure if I am right.”
“Right about what?”
“I have a theory,” said Penelope slowly. “And it is just a theory . . .”
“Which is?”
“That Elayna knew she could only save herself or her child,” she said and paused. “She chose you.”
I nodded weakly.
“But Elayna was clever, and extremely resourceful as well as powerful. If she knew Morgana was going to use the Dagger of Dragath on her, she must have known she wasn’t going to die, only be trapped within it.”
“But isn’t it the same thing if no one knows she’s there?” I said.
“Not if the child she saved is a powerful fae-mage who can come back one day and save her.”
“You mean,” I paused, understanding dawning, “she wanted me to find her?”
“Yes, I believe she did,” said Penelope finally. “I think she must have glamoured you into forgetting everything you saw and knew until you were ready. But that doesn’t mean you get yourself killed in the bargain. You have to master your powers. Only then will you be able to take on Morgana and Lilith. Even then, the chances of us winning are slim. You must listen to your granduncle and go to Elfi. Your grandmother Isadora is queen of the fae, and Elayna is her daughter; she will definitely help you find your mother. I am sure about that. Go to her, see what she has to say, and then decide what you want to do. Elayna has been trapped for nearly fifteen years now. A few more months will not make a difference.”
But it made a difference to me, a big difference. Everything was so clear now. It all made sense. My mother knew she would be trapped, she knew I was a fae-mage, and she knew, if I ever found my way back to Avalonia, I would find her and save her. And that was exactly what I was going to do. I didn’t say anything to Penelope, though. I couldn’t trust her not to tell Uncle Gabriel what I was planning.
“Thank you, Penelope,” I said, getting up from the bench. “You have been a great help.”
“Glad I could help, my dear,” said Penelope, “and I hope you can understand why we all are doing this. It is only for your own safety.”
I nodded. “I know. Thank you,” I said and hurried off through a flowering garden path, back into the palace.
I went back to my room and started packing a few things in a leather satchel.
I had to leave soon. I had to get out of here before Uncle Gabriel took me away to Elfi. I had no idea how I was even going to get out of the palace, let alone the city, but I had made up my mind. If I didn’t leave now, I would be forced to go to Elfi, and my chance of finding my mother would be gone. I knew Uncle Gabriel said he would help me find my mother, but only after I did as he wanted. If war came—and it was coming—the lands would be in turmoil. I might be stuck in Elfi for years, unable to cross the borders. I could not be sure if my grandmother would help me. My only chance was to go now.
“What are you doing?” said Kalen, as he came in the door.
I whirled around.
“Don’t you ever knock?” I said, relieved it was only Kalen.
“The door was open,” said Kalen, looking apologetic.
“Well, shut it,” I said, quickly trying to find some suitable things to take with me. I had no idea what I was doing and what I needed, so I was bustling around the room like an aimless chicken.
“Are you planning to go somewhere without telling me?” Kalen asked, a hurt note to his voice, but I barely noticed.
“Kalen,” I said, putting a pair of warm woolen socks and a leather vest into my satchel, “if I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone, okay?”
“I promise,” said Kalen, his eyes twinkling as he perched himself on the edge of the bed.
I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to tell him, but I had to tell someone. I was just so confused. So I told him everything about the Dagger of Dragath and my mother.
“Queen Elayna is alive?” said Kalen, his eyes growing wide.
I nodded. “And trapped,” I added. “I have to get her back.”
“So you are running off in the dead of night into a kingdom you have no idea about, all alone,” said Kalen, narrowing his eyes. “A masterful plan that one, I must say, my lady.”
“You don’t have to be sarcastic,” I said, pouting. “ You sound like Uncle Gabriel.”
“Your granduncle has a point,” said Kalen seriously. “Even I can tell you that this is a hopeless quest, one in which you have absolutely no possibility of succeeding.”
“I could,” I said quickly, sounding more sure than I felt, “if I had some help.”
Kalen’s eyes widened. “You want me to go with you?” he said, quite obviously aghast that I had even mentioned it.
“Well, why not?” I said, trying to be practical. “You said yourself that I need help, and you know these lands, so you could take me to the Star Palace in Nerenor, couldn’t you?”
“I could,” said Kalen, “but I won’t.”
“Why not?” I asked, surprised. I was quite sure he would go along with me.
“Because I don’t particularly want to get myself killed,” said Kalen, standing up and crossing his arms over his chest. “I really don’t think you should do this, Aurora. You should go to Elfi with your granduncle and meet your grandmother. I’m sure together you will all be able to figure out a way to get the dagger back and free your mother. You can’t do this on your own.”
“Then come with me,” I pleaded.
I really did need someone with me, and I was apprehensive about going alone. But I had to do this; I had to find my mother. She expected me to. She was counting on me; I was the only one who could manage this. Morgana would be looking for me elsewhere; she would never think to look for me under her very nose. Kalen and I could disguise ourselves and pose as brother and sister. I had some money saved from what Aunt Serena had given me, and Kalen knew all the roads leading to the capital city of Illiador. It would be a long journey, but we could stay at inns along the way or camp outdoors if we had to. I couldn’t take Snow with me, since she would be too conspicuous.
“You are really going to do this,” Kalen asked, looking at me very sternly.
I nodded, saying nothing more; I moved to my dresser and went back to packing my things.
“Fine, then I shall go with you,” he announced, after not too many moments of careful pondering. “Did you know that Rafe said I could take anything I wanted from the armory? I got myself a new bow, with a whole quiver of arrows and everything. And I have been learning to use a sword with Erien when he trains.”
I smiled. Kalen was still the same, a little taller than when I had first met him, but he hadn’t changed, and I was glad. He was a good friend, and I was secretly relieved that he was coming with me. At least I would have someone to talk to on the long journey, and, although I was pretty confident that I could protect myself and Kalen if it came to it, I had absolutely no idea how to get there.
That night, Kalen fetched me from my room.
“What did you say to the guards?” I asked.
“Didn’t say anything,” shrugged Kalen, “I just used one of my mother’s sleeping potions on them.”
“You drugged the palace guards?” I said, shocked.
“Well, how were you planning on leaving your room without four guards following you all the time?” said Kalen, scrunching his forehead.
I shook my head. “No, you’re right,” I said, being practical. “Now where?”