Authors: Edeet Ravel
Dori
On my way to the Room I meet my brother David and Noam and Amnoni. They’re going on an adventure. I ask if I can come but David says
oh no there will be huge huge rivers that you have to cross
and Noam says
and huge thorns
and Amnoni says
and gigantic scorpions that if they bite you you die right away
.
I don’t know if they’re telling the truth. They’re not allowed to lie so I have to believe them but I think they might be lying. I really want to go with them but there’s nothing I can say.
I get to the Room in a bad mood. I tell Daddy
David and Noam and Amnoni won’t let me go with them on their adventure
. Daddy laughs. I don’t know what’s so funny.
I tell Daddy we’re going to start school soon. Not here—in Galron. That’s the closest kibbutz. We’ll be getting there on a microbus.
I wasn’t there when Shoshana told everyone. I was outside on the monkey bars. When I came in everyone was shouting
we’re going on a microbus we’re going on a microbus!
They were very excited so I tried to be excited. But the truth is I don’t know what a microbus is.
Our First Year
1 April 1949.
Friday night celebration in which the priest from Jish delivered a lecture, in Hebrew, on the historical background of the area. An impressive-looking man, short, stout, barbed, clad in a long black cassock, and wearing a large pith helmet—Livingstone out of darkest Africa.
Some of us had a good deal of trouble understanding the Hebrew.
Dori
Mummy has a new thing she says—
Shut up fool
You’re talking tosh
You have the brain
Of half a squash
She says it over and over. It makes her laugh very hard.
I don’t know why it makes her laugh. Daddy told me never to say
shut up
to anyone.
But I don’t care. When Mummy’s happy I’m happy.
Transcript of Meeting April 1961
Topic: | Hired labour |
Chair: | Isaac Milman |
Isaac: | Tamir and Emanuel claim that “We need hired labour |
| | or we can’t manage; we can’t run the kibbutz properly |
| | without it; produce will die; it makes no economic |
| | sense; we don’t have the manpower and we don’t have |
| | the volunteers; we will never be able to sustain this |
| | enterprise if we don’t hire Arab locals, for whom it |
| | would be a real boost.” |
Oded: | Tamir and Emanuel are a hundred percent right and |
| | this is an urgent matter. As Economic Coordinator, I |
| | can’t stress this enough. |
Naftali: | Please remember that Economic Coordinator is not a |
| | position of authority, and you don’t have any special |
| | powers vested in you. |
Oded: | I resent your tone and your implications. |
Isaac: | Fellows, fellows, let’s keep this on an appropriate level, |
| | please. |
Martin: | As you know, I’m probably the person who has the most |
| | contact, along with Isaac, with our neighbours. |
Isaac: | You can have that position for yourself, seeing as you’re |
| | the only one who’s mastered Arabic … |
Martin: | I know that we have well-founded reasons for rejecting |
| | a structure we came here to escape. Nevertheless we |
| | believe in helping our brothers and I know how wel- |
| | come jobs would be. An employer need not be an |
| | exploiter, necessarily. I think that with all due respect, |
| | this would help our neighbours feed their families with |
| | income from picking. And, by the way, the offer from |
| | Jish to set up another course in Arabic is ongoing. |
Varda: | Why am I having déjà vu? Didn’t we discuss all this last |
| | year, and the year before, and the year before? |
Yael: | That’s exactly the point. We need a policy for the sake of |
| | efficiency and so we can plan ahead. |
Lou: | A kibbutz that depends on outsiders as a matter of |
| | course is not a kibbutz. |
Martin: | Let’s invite them all to join … |
Dori
My brother David says that today is a holiday for religious people where they don’t eat all day. He says we’re having extra food to show we don’t care.
Noam says magicians know how to make people disappear. I tell him it isn’t true but Amnoni and David say it is. They say a person can disappear forever if the magician forgets the right words to bring them back.
I know it isn’t true but I ask Daddy anyhow. He says magicians use tricks and really the person is hiding in a box or under the table.
In a scary movie I saw on television in Canada a man got trapped in a wall. Right inside it. I don’t remember how he got there in the first place but he couldn’t get out. No one could hear him calling for help.
I ask Daddy if I can have extra soup almonds because of the holiday. He doesn’t know what I’m talking about. They made that holiday up too.
Thane of Eldar
I escaped the hunt. Yet this too is heavy sentence, my native English now I must forgo, within my mouth you have enjailed my tongue. Oh dateless limit of my exile, the hopeless word of never to return. Blow, wind! Come, wrack! At least we’ll die with harness on our back!
Dori
It’s naptime but I’m not tired. I get up and look around for anyone who’s awake. I know I’ll be in trouble if Shoshana comes back but she doesn’t usually come during the nap.
Everyone in my room is asleep. I go to the other room and see that Gilead is awake. He’s bored too but he has a better idea than just talking. He whispers
do you want to run away
? I nod and we sneak out of the Children’s House. It’s a lucky thing I finally learned how to tie my shoelaces.
We don’t want anyone to see us so we run in a direction that isn’t the Rooms or the fields or the barns. We have to sneak past the cabin where Mummy teaches. We’re having a real adventure.
We see a man sitting on a rock and peeling a stick with a knife. He has a little fire with potatoes inside. I don’t know if he’s from Eldar. I don’t think so because you’re not supposed to have your own food on Eldar.
We say hello and he says hello back. Gilead asks
how come your teeth are yellow
? The man says
because I don’t brush them
. Gilead asks
how come you don’t brush them
? but he doesn’t answer.
It’s very hot and we start getting thirsty. We decide to go back to the Children’s House for the Wake-Up snack. We’re a bit scared now.
Fortunately Simon’s mother is doing the Wake-Up today. She doesn’t care that we ran away. Everyone says
we’re going to tell Shoshana
. I’m a little worried about that.
Our First Year
8 April 1949.
A movie this evening, but without sound. We got the idea that Rita Hayworth was a very naughty girl and that somebody was trying to kill somebody. A number of people became quite enthusiastic and elaborate in ad libbing the sound track. Unfortunately we don’t seem to have much control over the films we will be receiving in the future (our machine will arrive shortly), and we anticipate cinematographic torture.
Dori
We’re being wild during naptime. We’re getting out of our beds and running around and laughing. Lulu comes to visit from the other bedroom.
We thought Shoshana was gone but here she is. She goes from bed to bed and hits us one by one.
But I trick her. I pretend to cry before it hurts. As soon as I cry she stops and moves on to Elan.
The only person she doesn’t hit is Skye. That’s because Skye didn’t leave her bed. That way as soon as Shoshana came in she could pretend she was asleep. I told you Skye was smart.
Shoshana never hit me before. She’s afraid of Daddy. I’m surprised she took a chance this time.
44
Baby Diary
July 13
I’m very depressed because of her rash. It’s on her face, ears, head, forehead, it’s horrible. I decided she wouldn’t get a bottle with cow’s milk for her sixth feeding if she wakes up. Maybe the milk is causing the rash.
Dori
On the way to the Room I see a new girl near the swings. She’s smaller than me and her face and neck are covered with scars. I’m not sure if she’s coming to live here or just visiting. Someone said her scars are from boiling water but someone else said she was born with them.
I want to be nice to her so I tell her she can sit on the swing and I’ll push. I think she’s only visiting because she’s wearing a pleated skirt with red and black squares. Eldar doesn’t have those kind of skirts.
She sits on the swing and I push her but then my shoelace gets undone so I say
just a second
and I bend down to tie it. She lifts the swing and pushes it as hard as she can. The swing hits me right on my forehead and I fall backwards. The little girl runs away. Hard to believe but she did it on purpose.
I have tears in my eyes because of how much my forehead hurts but I decide not to cry. I could cry but I’m not going to.
Transcript of Meeting May 1961
Topic: | Status of Naftali |
Chair: | Isaac Milman |
Isaac: | I want to make it clear first of all that I was pressured |
| | into putting this on the agenda by a relentless campaign |
| | on the part of several of our younger members, |
| | do not support the topic—I reject it entirely. I feel it’s |
| | harassment, and I’m informing everyone in advance |
| | that if the vote goes against Naftali I’m resigning from |
| | the Secretariat and possibly taking more drastic steps. |
| | A group of seven members—Tamir, Oded, Nurit, Yael, |
| | Emanuel, Katzi and Ora—claim that “Naftali had a |
| | four-month leave and stayed in Canada nearly two years |
| | and therefore should be demoted to candidacy status.” |
Varda: | [Bursts into tears.] |