“I heard about what happened.”
I glanced down and looked at my hand. It still hurt like a son of a bitch, but the shaking had stopped. I realized I hadn't bothered to wash off the now caked-in blood from my skin and it was kind of disgusting, though it wouldn't have been the first time.
“You were right, Tess. You deserve to hear the truth.” I watched as Olivia turned around to look at me, the sun just beginning to dip below her shoulders. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Knox.” I tried to match her eyes for as long as I could help it, but the constant glare forced me to blink her away every few moments. “But I think she's controlling you.”
“I know.” I wasn't stupid. It wasn't like I had spent my high school years mashing faces with every girl that I saw, but even that wouldn't have done anything to help me. The moment Emma had laid a hand on me, I had not simply been given a new desire to help her. I had only felt the
need
to live and to die for her. Knowing about it wasn't enough. She had gotten to me at the worst time. I had hated everyone, even myself. It would always be easier to follow her instead of making my own way, where the consequences would solely be based on my actions alone.
Olivia continued with her own explanation. “I thought that if I could—”
“I know.”
She seemed somewhat surprised to hear me cut her off and I got closer so that she wouldn't have to compete with the sun. A soft smile lifted her cheeks and her hair glowed in the light as I took a chance to look at her. She really did care, which meant she was just as every bit as stupid as I was, and for once I was okay with it.
I knew that Olivia had been trying to make me figure it all out on my own. I knew that she had dragged me out into the open to get involved with the world because I had felt like utter shit. It's what people who cared did. They re-exposed you back to life so that you didn't end up wallowing in your own misery, but there was also more.
Spotting Emma's influence on me would be much clearer if I didn't hate everything in sight, and talking with Amanda made me realize that I didn't know the truth and that I was afraid because of it. I fought the words out, nervous that if by even mentioning the idea of Emma she might pop back into existence and deal with it personally. “How do I know if she's controlling me right now?” The concept that I could be a puppet wasn't a good one.
Olivia thought about it for a moment and every second made me more anxious than the last. “You're an Empath, Tess. Everybody's good at something and that doesn't exclude Paranormals. I saw your memories. I read your journal. You have a natural tendency to pick up on other people's emotions and influence them, even if you don't mean to.”
I thought about the implications. Empathy was good. It was what made people human, but not if they used it to exploit others.
“Knox is the same way. You have to understand that she's not so dangerous because she's powerful, she's dangerous because she's manipulative.”
Memories of the witch killing others without effort invariably flooded my mind. She was powerful alright. There was no mistaking it. Yet it had to be true that no matter how many people I had seen her kill by herself, it would always be dwarfed by the amount of destruction she could achieve by controlling others.
“Empaths are more susceptible to each other because they can get caught up in their own feedback. You have to be careful that any emotions you experience aren't just a reflection of what you've sent out, which could have been altered to begin with.”
I didn't like that idea. I felt like it could get too confusing too quick to keep track. “How do I stop it?”
“You can't.” She crossed her arms at that, though fortunately offered an explanation. “Knox isn't controlling you directly. She made a pass at your emotions and molded your actions. The best thing that you can do is to understand what you're doing and
why
to change it, but that's always easier said than done.”
I stared off into the distance and watched as all the tents' shadows steadily crept up towards us as the sun came down. I could smell the burning of small grills being lit across the camp and it looked like small fireflies were coming out of the ground.
“If I'm being honest, though, I'm surprised at how well you've been able to handle it.”
I almost felt like I needed to laugh at that as the pain from my hand throbbed in response.
“You've been under a lot of stress. I don't know a lot of people that would have taken it as well as you have.”
So in other words, I should have been dead a long time ago. I looked over at Olivia, the thought already stretching itself into a new idea. “Why is she still alive?” I didn't have to specify that I was referring to Emma. There weren't a whole lot of people whose existence could mean so much.
“I don't know.” She frowned at that and I knew it wouldn't be good. “The Knight that you saw in Knox's artifact is the same one that got you out of Arrino. He killed her.”
Nathan Grey.
I knew him the same way Emma had because of her memories. They had loved each other, but the first memory I had seen ended with him stabbing her through the chest.
“He became the first Knight, but for all the wrong reasons. He did whatever he had to in order to protect her, until he eventually turned on her.”
It was hard to imagine how someone could do such a complete one-eighty. “Why'd he do it?”
“We're not really sure.”
That didn't make any sense to me. “But... he's still alive. No one ever asked him?”
“Grey has to be at least a few hundred years old. He should be dead too, which means that Knox probably did something to extend his life. Or he did it to himself. Even if he ever paid any of us a visit, it's considered taboo for a Paranormal to augment themselves. Given that and his history with Knox, The Order probably wouldn't let him get very far.”
So he had a good reason to keep to himself for such a long time, though none of that explained why he had saved me from Juno. I ran a hand through my hair and let a steady stream out through my nose. Things had been so much easier and much less complicated in the past. Ignorance really was bliss. And now no matter how much I tried convincing myself otherwise, I still felt the need to fight for Emma and see her again even though I knew I shouldn't. It was like holding a bad crush on someone that I couldn't stop thinking about. By that logic, hopefully it would get easier with time. I could also try keeping myself preoccupied so that I wouldn't have to think about it.
I turned back to Olivia to see her taking in the sights. “So what do we do?” I hadn't expected the question to come out so open ended, though I wasn't surprised that she was still able to deliver.
“The Order has always been trying to hunt down the last of Knox's remnants. After her death, they went into hiding, but members of her cult believed that she would come back.”
“I guess they were right.”
She bit her lip. “Hopefully not. Someone has been throwing out Knox's name in public and using it to target other Paranormals. It doesn't make any sense, but it can't be a coincidence, especially not after what you saw, especially
now.
You're the only evidence that we have to prove that she still exists, Tess, and I get the feeling that she didn't mean to do it on purpose. We need to keep you safe. I need to take you back to the Order and let everyone know so that we can figure out what's going on.”
I didn't mind helping, but there would definitely be a problem with those plans. “I'm supposed to be dead.”
Olivia seemed concerned, although she must have understood just as well as I did. I had gotten shot and my throat was supposed to be torn open with my blood soaking into the dirt around me, but instead I was breathing and talking to her.
“If Knox wants me alive, then she saved me for a reason...”
She slowly turned back towards Tent City and picked up on the thread, identifying the new threat the same way that Chris had taught me. “Which means that if she still wants to stay hidden, then she's probably gonna send someone after you.”
The idea held on like a frost against my bones even as the last waning rays of light dipped down against my body. I knew Knox wouldn't just send anyone to do her bidding. She would send the monster that belonged in my worst nightmares, someone devoid of humanity that continually stalked the earth, someone that lacked life itself until it tore it away from others with its bare claws alone.
“Someone like Juno...” Emma had confessed to creating her. I wasn't sure if I even wanted to know the answer, but the question fell out anyway. “What is she?”
“One of Knox's remnants—a hunter-killer,” Olivia started softly, looking back down at the city and everyone that she was trying to protect. “She was made to stop Knights like me.”
Zach had been the first one to teach me how to shoot. I had been more excited than scared as he grabbed the tops of my hands and guided them over the semi-automatic weapon system, but I was powerless to stop the nervousness that rumbled up from the bottom of my belly. I had always heard other girls my age complain that they wanted guys to be more assertive, yet too often it might have been silently misinterpreted as something one sided. On that morning, I reinforced the feeling for what it meant to me—simply doing things together.
Tall, vibrant trees surrounded and held us in their shadows as I closed an eye and slowly pushed a steady stream of air past the roof of my mouth. I waited for Zach's last touch to leave my skin as I steadied the grip on the weapon held close against my body. I braced for the kick against my shoulder and pulled the trigger, immediately flinching at the sound and watching a soda can explode in a cloud of frothy energy before tumbling end over end and hitting dirt.
“Shit…”
I looked back over at Zach to see him smile.
“Guess we got a killer over here.”
“Better watch out.”
“Sure…” He gestured for his AR-15 and I carefully handed it to him to watch an experienced shooter clear the chamber. “But maybe next time we’ll try further than twenty feet.”
“You’re just jealous.”
“Maybe.” He laughed. “You’re a good shot. I’m surprised.”
I stuck a pair of fingers to my ears and pried out my ear plugs. “It’s a lot louder than I thought it would be.”
He shrugged. “I thought the same thing about you and look where we are now.” He gave me his best grin and I punched him in the shoulder.
I liked hanging out with Zach. He was light-hearted and smart. It was a lot easier to enjoy myself when I spent time with someone who felt comfortable in their own company. I knew a lot of people who could have learned a thing or two from him. It made me sad to think that he’d willingly put himself in danger to help them and they might not ever notice, much less thank him for it.
After a few more rounds, we packed up whatever we had left in the middle of the forest and started making our way back to Zach's cabin. I had been starting to get to know him a little bit better over the days. I still felt like there would be certain aspects that I'd never understand, though it didn't stop me from trying. “Have you ever gotten shot at?” I watched his head bob up and down as he walked in front of me, a narrow dirt path between trees coercing us to move in tandem.
“Yeah. A few times.”
“How’s that work?”
“Live fire exercises. It’s safe, but sometimes it can get pretty close.” He stopped and held up a branch in the way for me. “I’ll let you know how the real deal goes.”
I hope not.
I brushed a bang back over my ear, careful not to lose my balance as I stepped over a dwindling tree trunk. We were back in the familiar clearing after only a few more minutes of hiking through what seemed like wilderness, although it never quite convinced me. As long as Zach was around, I didn’t feel like I could get lost. I never would have thought that I would eventually be putting it to the test.
I followed his footsteps onto the back porch of his house and reflexively pulled out my phone, scrunching my lips at the continued sight of no service. I couldn’t even make an emergency call. Talk about first world problems. The thought quickly passed through my mind as Zach opened the back door and we could hear his dad, Oliver, arguing over something in the next room over. We both glanced at each other, but there was no mistaking it. I was sure every child in the universe recognized the sound.
We stopped in the living room to see Oliver just finish shouting into a house phone before slamming it back into its receiver. I tried not to make eye contact. It was always weird for me to see someone I barely knew upset, especially when I was standing right next to one of their relatives.
Zach lowered his gun case down. “What's goin' on? Did we get it back?” The power had gone out after a string of bad storms kept us all inside for a few days and forced us to run a portable generator afterwards, though the gas for that was starting to run out. It was taking a lot longer than usual for the power to come back online and any calls towards the utility company had only been met with empty assurances and towards the end flat out silence.
Oliver slowly shook his head. The subtle quietness that pervaded the house meant that the genny was off, which wasn't surprising since we had been trying to conserve our gas for the past few days, but something was telling me that wasn't the problem.
He looked at me and I instantly got a bad feeling from it. My parents and Sarah had gone out to see the sights since that morning, and now that I thought about it, they should have been back already.
“Jessica, your father is being held down at the station.”
That couldn't have been right. They weren't supposed to be going anyone close to town. “Why? Is he okay?”
Oliver held a hand up. “He's fine. They're all fine, but I couldn't talk any sense into those
morons
and they wouldn't tell me any specifics
.
I suppose having a badge these days means that you don't have to listen to anybody.” He bent over and grabbed his cane. “But it's no problem. We'll just have to drive down there and pick them up ourselves and post bail if we have to. Good news is that we can buy some gas while we're at it.”
Right...
I let myself calm down a little bit. It seemed like a solid plan. It sounded like everything would be under control.
“Zach—”
“Already on it.”
I watched Zach run up the stairs, an unspoken agreement between the two of them, and Oliver pointed his cane at me.
“Come with me. There's something I need to show you.”
“Sure.” Curious, I followed him as he led me into his room in silence, forcing myself to watch my step and not overrun his gait.
“I'm sure your father is fine. He's a smart man. And anything short on that, he can always rely on his dumb luck. We've spent more time in these woods as kids than I'm sure he can remember.”
I smiled. “I know.” I didn’t understand why he felt like he had to tell me that, but it started to have the opposite affect and began to make me nervous.
“Just promise me you won’t tell your parents.”
“Tell 'em what?” I watched him reach into a drawer and pull out a small silver snub-nosed revolver, carefully handing it over to me handle first. The weight was unfamiliar and heavier than I remembered.
“Zach go over how to fire these with you?
I nodded. We had gone through an assortment of guns, but already the circumstances seemed way different. It didn’t do anything to ease my nerves. Without any power or cell service, we had been secluded from the outside world for a few days. Normally it wouldn't have mattered, but my family had left the city for a reason. Things had
not
been normal.
There was no telling what we could run into in another town.
He must have noticed. “I’d rather you have it and not need it, than the other way around.”
“Yeah...” I gently rolled the cylinder in-between the pads of my fingers and watched the brass casings of unfired bullets spin in front of me, still unsure as he put a hand on my shoulder. Given the veiled sense of danger, it was already nothing like target practice.
“Jessica, I’ve never had to use it before and I don’t think either one of us ever will. Does that make you feel any better?”
Actually, for some reason it did. I nodded silently.
“Good, because your mother would kill me if you tried to find an exception.”
We both smiled, but I could suddenly feel the missing words slip past my tongue. “Then I might as well just kill you now to get it over with.”
The muscles on his face quickly faded away as his brain struggled to reprocess what I had just said. “I'm sorry?”
You should be.
I kept it up and gave him my best grin. “You’re gonna die, just like the rest of us.” I lifted the revolver up and pressed it against the middle of his forehead, my sharp painted black nails crawling around the grip and ever slightly pressing against the trigger, but they weren't my hands anymore, they were Emma's.
You don't deserve to live.
I squeezed and watched as the hammer tilted back and then flew forward in a flash of light.
*
I woke up to a prod on my shoulder and immediately tensed up as Olivia stood over my cot. I had trouble remembering where I was and it took a second for the disorientation to pass.
Her brow fell in on me. “Bad dream?”
Something like that.
I ran a hand over my sweaty forehead. I might as well have run a mile in the middle of a fever. It had never occurred to me that Emma could pervert my memories the way she just had. It was like she knew I was trying to resist and wouldn't be going down without a fight, nor was anything off limits. I just hoped that it wouldn't get worse anytime soon.
“Come on. You can think about it later. We gotta go.”
I sat up in my cot to see Olivia fully dressed, armed, and ready. I could barely make out through the darkness that the inside of her tent was swaying back and forth yet subtly illuminated by a soft blue light. It must have still been early. I rubbed an eye with the ball of my hand in an effort to wipe it all away. “What's going on?”
“Let's go. Sleep when you're dead.”
Wait—wah?
I barely brought my hands up in time to catch a half-filled canteen that she tossed at me and she walked outside. I could only assume that she had been kidding, but it didn't matter. The fear of the unknown and sudden threat of immediate death—no matter how small—had already done its damage. I slipped my feet into my boots and began lacing them up as fast as I could, fumbling over the small strings and cursing the bruises that continued to sting under my newly wrapped knuckles.
I made it outside half clothed with an overshirt over my head and struggled not to fall down the side of the hill. By the time I managed to reorient myself and get my face out to feel the cool air splash against my face, I realized I should have asked a different set of questions all together.
The view of the field was a stark contrast to what it had been only a few hours earlier. Where before I had gone to bed with the last sight of Tent City before me, now about a quarter of the mass of sprawling tents had dwindled down to crowds of shifting bodies. Everywhere I looked, signs of movement pervaded the ground while shelters were being disassembled and loaded onto trucks that had previously been hidden from view, all amidst the soft, pale glow of twilight.
A sudden gust of wind rolled over the remaining pieces of cloth and pressed against my back hard enough to prompt me to change my footing. I glanced over at Olivia and matched her gaze, turning around to see the source of it all in an unmistakable view. Just as a soft purple hue bled up into the sky from the horizon, a thin solid line of orange crested against the coming sunrise as far as I could see.
At first I didn't understand what I was looking at, but the shifting clouds in the darkened sky in the distance made me realize it had nothing to do with the angle of the light passing through it; it was smoke. All of it. A massive wildfire stretching itself like an ocean raged on in the distance, another sudden gust of wind against my face forcing me to understand how it had come to life so quickly. I had never seen such a huge show of force in my life before, and it was all heading towards us in unyielding strength. “Holy shit...”
“It's not as bad as it looks,” said Olivia.
I couldn't help but slowly turn to look at her with complete disbelief. If I had not fully awoken before the sight, I definitely was then.
“It's still a few miles off, but if we're quick, we can cut off to the side and get out of the way.”
I glanced back at the thin, glowing bar on the horizon that looked like molten metal. I wondered if it had evolved from the same fire that Chris and I had seen before. It would be a lot harder to judge the distance during the day, at least until the smoke would start covering us directly, but by then it would be way too late to outrun it. The vegetation that surrounded us for miles was drier than anything I had ever seen before. The wind would no doubt exasperate the matter. The burning plains looked large now. I could only guess how much ground would be covered with the whole thing up close and personal.
“Come on.” Olivia went on ahead and I had to jog to catch up. She was somehow a lot faster than me at walking without even having to put in the effort. “Hayes sent out a team as soon as one of our sentries spotted the fire last night. We should have heard back from 'em by now.”
I had trouble keeping my focus on her while the flames continued to silently blaze away at our flank. I had to convince myself it wasn't an immediate threat no matter how counter intuitive it seemed. We still had time to think things through before the coming shitstorm would hit us directly at full blast, and we would have to use every last second of it to get everyone out alive.
“It'll probably take a few hours before we're all ready to move. If it ends up taking too long, we'll need to find a way to get you ahead of this thing.”