Authors: Nadia Lee
In the mirrors on the wall, blonde women tugged their hair free and started scrubbing their faces. The water in my hands turned the colors of blood and dirt and dropped back into the tub, where it became clear again almost instantly.
My previous looks—the mousy brownness—had been glamour to hide me from the Triumvirate. But they’d found me anyway.
What would my life have been like if I hadn’t been so plain? I’d certainly have had more dates. A better high school life. The faces in the mirrors twisted as I remembered the cruelty of boys and girls, the
in
clique.
But if I had been this beautiful back then, I might not have studied so hard. I might have tried to get by on just my looks, and it probably would have worked. Dragonlords’ beauty and radiance made lingerie models look like gorgons. Hell, men might have dated Valerie just to get into
my
bed.
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the rim of the bathtub. What was the point of having studied hard if I couldn’t even recognize a disguised samael? What was the point of being smart if I wouldn’t listen to people who knew more than I did? It looked like the only thing I’d done right was having Ramiel by my side, and he had practically had to force me into that.
And what was his deal, anyway? We had shared something amazing back in Nahemah’s bathhouse. Aside from the way I’d felt, when you can see Sex being created from a union like that it’s pretty much impossible to fake. Ours had sparkled and danced like fairydust. But since then, Ramiel had seemed a bit distant.
But I knew what I wanted now. Despite my determination to have a “normal” man as my next boyfriend, it wasn’t going to be possible. Not when I had so many feelings for Ramiel. They were new and unexpected, pleasant but confusing at times. I preferred to keep all my relationships clean and simple, especially considering the way my first lover had died. On the other hand, Ramiel was nothing like Miguel. For one thing, it’s damn hard to kill a dragonlord.
I spun the ring around my index finger. I still had unfinished business—finding the incubus who’d killed Miguel. And dragonlords are technically a sort of demon, which meant Ramiel knew their world. Maybe he could help me find some closure.
I took a deep breath and submerged myself completely.
***
After the bath, I found my old suit on the bed. Although it wasn’t made of luxurious silk like the dresses Toshi offered, it was the only thing that was really mine. I appreciated having something from my old life to anchor me. Toshi had had it repaired and cleaned, and it smelled lightly of lilac and pear. Despite my transformation, the suit still fit, although it was a bit snug around my chest and loose in the waist. The narcissist in me rejoiced.
Someone knocked on the door. “Come in!”
Toshi entered and bowed. “Milady, your breakfast is ready.”
“Great. I’m starving. By the way, can I see Valerie before we go?”
Toshi’s mouth opened slightly. “Your sister Valerie?”
“Is there another Valerie around here?”
“No, of course not. But, milady, it is likely dangerous. The poison—”
“Now that I have a heartstone, I think I’ll be all right.”
“The stone undoubtedly confers some resistance. Still—”
“Only for a moment. I just want to take a look at her, that’s all.”
“Ah.” He turned his body slightly, and the sunlight reflected from his eyes in rainbow shades. “Of course. Please follow me.”
Toshi flew out the door and we turned right into the long hallway. He preceded me, blinking at each stained glass window we passed as if the light blinded him.
He stopped before a heavy wooden door and waved a foreleg at it. The door opened, and I took a step inside.
Valerie’s room was large, tastefully decorated and airy, with a lot of leather-bound volumes on magic and wardings. I walked toward the four-poster canopy bed, where she lay on brilliantly white sheets, looking like something out of a fairytale even when she was comatose. Pale skin stretched over the fine cheekbones and a tinge of red stained the skin there. I laid a hand on her chest. Her heart beat very slowly.
There was a quality to her breathing that made me pause. It had lost its earlier odor. But everything else indicated she was still poisoned. I ran my hand over her face, traced the delicate eyelashes. She didn’t move, and something clung to my skin like the residue from sticky candy.
“How long has she been asleep?” I said.
“Since you brought her here, milady.”
The rather rosy hue of her skin made me disagree. I looked steadily at Toshi, whose hover lost a bit of altitude.
“Truly, milady, it is dangerous for you to—”
Maybe the fake Ramiel episode had made me paranoid, but I trusted my gut more than ever before. I raised a hand and sent waves of vivification magic over her, enough to jolt her from any web of power she might be under. My heartstone effortlessly amplified the potency of a spell that was normally too weak to fight against even an incubus-induced sleep. Toshi squeaked and pirouetted in the air as the shield around her first became visible, then shattered, its bits vanishing like snowflakes on a frying pan.
Valerie let out a long shuddering breath, and her eyes fluttered open. She sat up, her loose hair falling and softening her face. She looked at me and frowned slightly. “Who are you?”
Toshi quivered, but rose to the occasion as Besade’s castellan. Good thing too, since I was speechless. “Lady Ashera of Eastvale,” he announced, bowing.
Valerie swung her legs to the side of the bed and stood up. “Wow. A real dragonlady.” She grasped my hand. “Honored. I didn’t know Eastvale had a dragonlady, but then we don’t always get the la—”
“Valerie.” I tried to keep my voice steady, but it trembled a little. “You’re okay.” Releasing my hand, she took a step back. “It’s me, Val. Ashera.”
She stared. “Ashera?” She looked at me, at Toshi, at the walls around her. “What’s going on here?”
I wasn’t getting through. “Okay, fine. I guess I have to prove it. Let’s see…something really embarrassing. Oh, I know. You remember how, when you were twelve, you had this huge crush on Leif—”
She put a hand to her mouth. “Ashera?” She glanced at Toshi again, as if looking for his help.
Toshi looked extremely uncomfortable but swooped in gamely, positioning himself behind her head and slightly to one side, the best location to give unobtrusive prompting and advice. “This
is
Lady Ashera del Cid,” he murmured. “There was some glamour, you see. Well…that is…it’s rather difficult to explain…”
Valerie stared at my eyes, and I saw her get it. It was a shock, of course, but then she was used to dealing with the unusual.
Now that I knew Valerie was okay, other things started to vie for my attention. “Very clever, Toshi. You almost fooled me.”
“Milady—”
“As a matter of fact, it was so good that if I didn’t have a heartstone, I wouldn’t have been able to tell. Not bad for a two-hundred-year-old fairy dragon.”
Toshi immediately descended to the floor and pressed his snout against it. “Please, milady. I beg you. Pretend you didn’t see anything. If…if…” He began shaking so hard he couldn’t finish his sentence.
“It was Ramiel, wasn’t it?”
I kept my voice soft, but my fingernails were digging into my palms. How dare he lie about Valerie’s condition and manipulate me into acquiring the heartstone? I’d almost died trying to get it. Twice. If that weren’t enough, now I had another demigoddess enemy who most likely wanted me dead. For all I knew, she was signing a pact with the Triumvirate of Madainsair right now to destroy me.
“Milady, I never meant to deceive you, but I panicked when you asked to see Lady Valerie. It was my magic that made her sleep and disguised her true condition. Please. I would’ve told you the truth. But if…if Lord Ramiel…oh dear.” He covered his mouth with his foreclaws. “Please…please don’t be angry with His Lordship. It’s all my fault.” He began to sob earnestly. “If…if you m-must be angry at someone, please—” hiccup, “—please be angry at me. And punish me for my shortcomings.”
Valerie gave me a
what the hell?
look, but she squatted down and began making cooing noises, trying to comfort Toshi. That place behind my eye began to throb. Knowing how he dreaded pain, I understood the kind of turmoil he must be going through to offer himself as a scapegoat. For that alone, Ramiel should be horsewhipped.
“Toshi,” I said, my voice calm. “I’m not angry with you.” And that was true enough. I looked at Valerie. “I need to go talk to someone now. We can catch up later, if that’s okay.”
“Sure.” Valerie’s voice lacked its usual confidence.
Toshi gulped in air. “But milady, Lord Ramiel is—
hic
—most likely waiting for you at breakfast. I’m not sure if it’s wise to have a confrontation before eating. It may cause—
hic
—indigestion—”
“Not talking about it will cause more.” I went down on one knee, scooped Toshi’s tiny trembling body into my hands and brought it up until I could look levelly into his teary eyes. “Toshi, I promise, I’m not mad at you. I just want to understand why I wasn’t told about Valerie’s recovery.”
It took a moment, but he gathered himself and rose into the air. “Please follow me.” He sniffled aloud and bowed to Valerie. “Excuse us, milady.”
He led me down a wide hallway and out into a garden with a gorgeous high arch of pomegranate-red roses and dark ivy vines. The roses had a strong heady scent. A pair of fairy dragons hovered over a blossom. One of them was picking little bugs from the rose and handing them to his partner, who put them in a small bag. Along our footpath, crushed mint added a dash of freshness to morning air still moist with dew.
It might as well have been a garbage alley in Calcutta for all I cared. God, what a fool I’d been! A pretty face and a hot body, and I’d trusted him like some hormonal teenager. Oh sure, I’d protested a bit, but words were cheap. In the end, I’d done everything according to his plans.
Beyond the arch, Ramiel sat at a round table carved out of a single large block of ivory marble. Toshi had outdone himself again. There was enough food laid out to feed a village. If the table hadn’t been made of stone, it would’ve collapsed under the weight of our breakfast.
“Are we expecting company?” I asked, my eyebrows raised high.
“No.” Ramiel smiled at me. He didn’t seem to notice Toshi’s distress. The little dragon was doing his best to be invisible without actually leaving us.
“Really?” I sat down. “Valerie isn’t joining us?”
All expression left Ramiel’s face. He glanced at his fairy dragon, who had dropped to the ground and was cowering.
“My lord, it’s all my fault. Please puni—”
“You may leave. Now,” Ramiel said in a tone that demanded—and received—instant compliance. He turned to me. “So you know.”
“Of course. Did you think you could hide it from me forever?” I leaned back in my chair. The trees around us shielded my eyes from the morning sun.
“I intended to tell you.”
“You intended to tell me. When? Before or after Nathanael killed me in front of my mother? While Nahemah was skewering me with her sword? No, no, I know. You were going to wait until I pissed Enmesaria off too, since four dragonlords after me just isn’t enough.”
“Ashera—”
“How much of what you told me is actually true?”
He gazed at me. With each beat, my heart bled a little until it hardened against anything he could say. He had no excuse. How could he use me, abuse my trust? Worse, how could I not hate him for the things he’d done? I wanted to strangle him, bring him pain greater than what he’d given me. But nothing I felt now could change the fact that my stupid heart beat a little faster when I thought of him or that my breath still caught in my throat when I saw him sitting there, resplendent in the shade. His collar winked in a dapple of light, and I hoped he’d choke. Bastard.
And as much as I hated to admit it to myself, this was my own fault—a huge lapse in judgment. I should never have let him get so close. Never forgotten that he was a supernatural, and thus by definition untrustworthy.
“Valerie was the only…unvoiced truth,” he said finally. “I intended to tell you before we visited Enmesaria, although I would’ve asked that you see her anyway. She has maintained neutrality for eons, even through the Twilight of Slayers, but I believe she will be your ally if you can appeal to her sense of fairness.”
“You mean manipulate her.”
He shrugged, but his eyes were sharp enough to cut. “If that’s how you prefer to view it. I don’t think it’s necessary to tell you the importance of forming alliances with other dragonlords. Nathanael has his Triumvirate. What do you have?”
I tapped my fingers on the cool tabletop. I could barely hear his voice over the roaring of my blood.
“No one except me,” he said. “I apologize for…capitalizing on your loyalty to your mortal, but if it weren’t for your having to help her, you would never have seen Leh and gotten the heartstone.”
He was right. I would never have gone to the Mystic Forest voluntarily. Not even to meet my mother, because I hadn’t believed anything Ramiel had told me at that point.
He continued.
“Draco perditio
can kill dragons, but not us. You cannot stand against Nathanael, Semangelaf and Apollyon without claiming your dragonhold. You refused to listen, though. You wanted to preserve your life as it was.”
A chill went up my spine. “You son of a bitch. You poisoned her yourself to get me to do what you wanted, then blamed it on Semangelaf!”
Ramiel shook his head. “No. It was Semangelaf, or perhaps Nahemah. That part was true enough.”
“Swear it.”
He shrugged. “I have already done so.”
True. I’d forgotten in my anger. Still, the fact that he hadn’t been responsible did very little to placate me.
He leaned forward, intent. “Ashera, I had to get you to accept your demigod heritage. I had to get you to acquire the heartstone. I had—still have—my vow to keep. So I misled you concerning the antidote. It was the most expedient way to get you to do what needed to be done.”