The Law of Becoming: 4 (The Novels of the Jaran) (8 page)

A sphinx yawned and reared itself up, stone limbs crackling, and regarded her quizzically. “Yana,” it said, “it’s past time to go home. The system is going down in five minutes.”

“Thanks, Kori,” she said. She reached out, farther, farther, toward the great gateway, through the fading priests and Amon’s boat, and dove through. Egypt whirled away in a great blaze of light and she veered, flying, for the metal gleam of the docking bay, the artificial construct embedded in the teaching programs so that children would learn to make the transition from
there
to here as safely as possible.

On the farthest rose-tinged rim of the horizon, a red light winked on and off. She leapt, closing in on it. It was, of course, the portal she had long ago built so that she could spy on Valentin. Right now it stood on a spinelike ridge of rock, a corbeled arch lined with flashing neon whose other side hovered over the brink of an abyss. Frowning, she slowed and stepped cautiously through. She never knew where she would find her little brother. Usually it was no place good. Cold pierced her to the bone, and she clamped her eyes shut against a stab of wild color. Abruptly, there was no ground beneath her feet. She opened her eyes, caught in an instant of stillness.

From a great height, she plunged. Wind screamed past her and the fall thrust pressure against her flesh. It was painfully hot. Each breath stung. Hills undulated out on all sides, a rich golden haze. Nothing but gold, as if the ground were plated with gold leaf. A dark filigree wound over a distant curve, the only break in the monotony.

As the ground neared, she recognized her surroundings: an endless desert of sand dunes. She caught a glimpse of the tail end of a caravan swaying away over a dune. The ground rose to meet her. Of course, in Valentin’s construct, she had no ability to manipulate. She was herself a kind of artificial intruder. When she slammed into the sand, would she be wrenched back into her body? Would her construct-self, her
nesh
, be obliterated? If she was lucky, the worst thing that would happen would be that she would return from
there
to here and throw up all over the couch. But she had heard of more horrible fates.

A sharp gust of wind pulled her free of gravity and with a disorienting twist she landed lightly on her feet.

“Ah! Gods!” she yelped and began jumping back and forth from foot to foot. The sand burned. The heat baked her.

At once a whole crowd of camels, spitting and slobbering, materialized around her. They reeked. They were disgusting. Valentin always was obsessed by sensory detail.

“Valentin!” she shrieked, more horrified by them than by the prospect of smashing into the dunes. The camels honked and chewed and farted. A thick yellow gobbet of spit landed on the skirt of her tunic, staining it dark, and remains of it slid down and fell toward her feet. She yelped and jumped to one side to avoid it. “Valentin! You worm! Stop this right now! They’re closing the system in five minutes!”

A low haze swelled on the horizon. The sky darkened. The sun turned in an instant from brilliant white to a bloody ball of fire smothered in a rising wall of dust. A howl rose like the scream of a thousand agonized animals from the sands, pierced by a whistle.

The storm hit. Ilyana collapsed to her knees and covered her head. Sand battered her. Sharp waves of pebbles flung hard by the wind pelted her on her bare arms and through the thin weave of her tunic. The wind roared and the stones rattled and clashed in a perfectly hellish din.

And was silent.

Ilyana spit sand out of her mouth and cracked her eyes open. Sand leaked from her hair and weighted down her braids. Grit coated her tongue. It tasted stale and metallic. The camels, thank the gods, were gone, but now instead of the curve of dunes she saw only a rock-strewn flat plain, empty of life. The raw blue of the sky hurt her eyes. There was no sun, but it was as light as day.

On a six-legged beast, a rider approached across the flat. Ilyana clambered to her feet and brushed off her tunic, the sleeveless shoulders, the fitted waist, the culotte skirt. But even though the cloth was navy blue, encrusted by sand she just looked clothed in brown.

A demon rode the six-legged creature. It had bulging eyes and red-rimmed tusks and an inventive assortment of claws on its four arms. It pulled up its beast in front of her. Its curled hair gleamed like iron. Fire licked out from its tongue.

“Valentin,” said Ilyana in disgust, “as you know, this doesn’t impress me. Now come on. The system is closing down for the day. You
know
that. If you break the rules again, they’re gonna suspend you from
guising
completely. You’re already on limited runs.”

Flames licked threateningly from the demon’s mouth.

Ilyana sighed, exasperated. Valentin was never a
person
in his constructs. His
nesh
was always an animal or some strange animalistic demon, like this one, culled from mythology or from his own nightmares, which were plentiful. Ilyana had experimented as most children did with other guises, guising as different animals and real or imagined aliens, even just in other human bodies, but for the last year, as she had grown more and more interested in exploring the great monuments of Earth and Ophiuchi-Sei and the other human planets, she had mostly stayed herself.

“And anyway,” she added, “we have to go to that reception for Father tonight.”

“I
won’t
,” said the demon petulantly, and it vanished in a swirl of smoke. She caught a glimpse of Valentin’s unguised
nesh
, a slight, sallow-eyed boy of thirteen, but his image faded and with a jolting wrench and a tear in her chest she found herself back on the other side of the archway. Bells rang, echoing up from the abyss. She dove for the docking bay, sealed herself through the lock, and felt the shift of pressure, the reorientation to the gravity of the real world. The inner lock unsealed and M. Lissagaray popped the seals off her eyes and she shook the gel tips off of her hands and swallowed bile.

“That was a bit close,” said M. Lissagaray tartly. “Chasing your brother again?”

On the other side of the aisle, Kori had already grabbed her duffel from underneath her couch and stuffed all her tack into it. “Heyo, Yana. You wanna go blading this afternoon? You look green.”

Reflexively, Ilyana checked the skirt of her tunic, but, naturally, no gobbet of camel spit stained it. It looked crisp and clean, unrumpled by her sojourn on the couch. “I can’t,” she said reluctantly.

Kori made a face but said nothing. M. Lissagaray moved away to untangle Zaid from his wires and tips; Zaid was one of those unfortunates who twitched constantly while in nesh. Ilyana sighed and regarded Kori enviously. Kori was also sixteen, but she was perfect. She was smart and tall and strong, she wore her coarse black hair in gorgeous locks, and she had a flawless mahogany complexion every bit the equal of Jane Zhe, the actress who played Infinity Jilt, girl pirate of the never-never, on the interactives. Ilyana hated her own paleness. She stuck out here.

Kori sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. “Valentin; again?” she asked. “Maybe your mother is gonna take him to see a physician.”

“Yeah,” said Ilyana sarcastically. “A brain doctor. Gods, Kori, I think he’s gone loony.”

Kori shrugged. “You wanna come over after supper? We can do our trig homework together.”

Yana bent out from under Kori’s arm and stuffed her tack into her duffel: It was not a true duffel, of course, with shiny gray or black sides, but an old carpet her mother had sewn into a bag. It embarrassed her. Especially because all the other kids thought it was
new
just because they’d never seen anything like it before.

“No, I really can’t.” Ilyana laced the bag shut. “My…my dad, I gotta go to a reception tonight….”

“Neh. Sounds terrible. My cousin Euterpe said yesterday she’d seen something on the net about it. All kinds of important people—maybe even Charles Soerensen. Heyo. How about tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” agreed Ilyana. “Now I gotta go see what trouble Valentin’s gotten himself into.”

“I’ll come with.”

Ilyana glanced at her friend, but she knew better than to think Kori’s offer came from anything but compassion and a simple desire to help. Kori had been the first friend she’d made, eight years ago, moving into this neighborhood. “Thanks,” she said.

They waved good-bye to M. Lissagaray, who was decelerating the nesh-drives, and went down to the school courtyard, where the other kids hurried out the gates, heading home. They cut through the maze to the junior wing. The door wafted open into the junior nesh-pods, and the smell of vomit hit the two girls. Kori gagged audibly and choked it down, looking apologetic.

“Oh, gods,” muttered Ilyana, washed by humiliation. “This is so embarrassing.” But she was also terrified. Kori followed her as she wound to the back, where M. Tioko, with infinite patience, swabbed down a deathly pale Valentin. He had thrown up all over
everything.
Luckily there was no one else in the room.

M. Tioko did not look up as he wiped Valentin’s mouth clean. “There’s a spare set of clothes in the closet.” Kori dropped her duffel and headed for the closet.

“Valentin,” said Ilyana. His eyes were shut. “This is the fourth time this month!” He did not respond.

Now M. Tioko did glance up. He was a good, decent person and Ilyana trusted him. And anyway, he was about the only person besides her who really cared about Valentin anymore. “He’s overdosing,” he said in a tired voice. “He’s got to be guising at home, or some time away from school, because I’ve got him on a strict schedule here.”

“But I
made
Mama get rid of the nesh-drives,” Ilyana protested.

“What about the two other families in your house?”

“They’re actors. They don’t nesh at all. And anyway, I…I talked to them about it. You can’t cut off his time here?”

M. Tioko tossed the wet cloth into a hamper, which immediately sucked it into the cleaning tubes. “He’ll go into withdrawal, which will be worse, and we can’t deal with that unless your parents agree to put him under medical supervision.”

Which they never would. Ilyana flushed, feeling cold with worry. Valentin just lay there, breathing shallowly. He looked so sick. He looked so young. Most of the nesh addicts that the nets did those awful docuwraps about were mid-aged, in their seventies or eighties. Valentin was barely thirteen. It just wasn’t fair.

Kori returned with the clothes. “All right, girls,” said M. Tioko with a resigned half-smile. “Thanks. I’ll send him out when he’s changed and cleaned up his couch.”

Valentin cracked an eye, tilting his head back like a one-eyed bird to squint at his sister. “I
won’t
go,” he muttered. “I’m gonna stay late at school and do my leftover geo homework. So there.”

“Can you send him out to me as soon as he’s done?” Ilyana begged, hating the sound of her voice.

M. Tioko nodded and waved them away. As they left the room, they heard him start in. “Now, Valentin, stop that shamming and get into these clean clothes—”

Ilyana blinked away tears brought on by the sudden light of the courtyard.

“Heyo, look, it’s Uncle Gus!” Kori whooped, grabbed Ilyana’s hand, and tugged her along after.

Heat flooded Ilyana’s cheeks. Gods, how she hated her complexion, which betrayed everything. She wanted to die right now. She fixed her eyes on the pavement.

“Little squirt. How you doing?” Gus gave Kori a hug.

“I didn’t know you was back,” said Kori.

“
Were
back. Yeah, the tour ended early, so I came back home. Hello, Ilyana. Pleased to see you again.”

Ilyana lifted her eyes just enough to see where he had stuck his hand out, so she lifted hers, and they shook hands.

“I hope you’re well,” added Uncle Gus solemnly.

She mumbled something in the affirmative, as reply. She wanted to shrivel up into a worm and just die. Kori’s Uncle Gus was a dancer and a choreographer, very well known and quite well connected, and the last time she had seen him he had been politely but firmly extricating himself from her dear father’s attempt to seduce him.

Uncle Gus took pity on her, released her hand, and turned back to his niece. “And I’m getting married.”

Kori shrieked, and then laughed. “To who? To who? Oh, not another dancer—!”

He chuckled. “To whom. To whom. You kids and your grammar. Not to a dancer, to a nice woman I went to university with years ago and just met up with again during the tour. She’s doing soil research right now on Tau Ceti Tierce.”

“A scientist!” Kori snorted. “What? You had to bring someone in to keep Mama company?”

“She’s at the flat now,” he said. “I was hoping you could come right home and meet her.” But then, because like Kori and everyone else in her family he was a sympathetic and perceptive soul, he hesitated. “But perhaps you are off to do something with Ilyana.”

“No, no,” said Ilyana quickly, cutting off Kori’s reply. “I’ll see you later.” She backed onto the grass until she shouldered up against the hedge. Kori lifted a hand in farewell and then dropped it, seeing very well that Ilyana meant them to just go on. She took her uncle’s arm and, chatting away, they walked off under the archway to the bike rack.

This time, it wasn’t the sun that brought tears to Ilyana’s eyes. Why couldn’t she have had a family like that? Or like Diana Brooke-Holt’s family, who always made her welcome even if Ilyana knew she would never really be one of them? Or like a real family: mother and father, aunts and uncles, siblings and cousins and grandparents, all living in one set of tents….

She winced at her lapse. Not
tents
, but flats or houses or a complex, all the things they had here on Earth. But even back where she had been born, even back on the planet Rhui, with the jaran, she had never had a
real
family. She had always been different. Just a mother and a father—when her father was around—and one sibling. That was all. It wasn’t healthy to live like that, without cousins and aunts to surround you, without a grandmother and ancient wizened great-aunts to give a child sweets and whisper to her the secrets of weaving and tell her at bedtime the old stories of the moon and the sun. Well, now she had another brother and a sister, and yet another on the way, but still, they were alone.