The Legendary Playboy Surgeon (10 page)

Kate looked as though she was holding her breath. As though she had no idea what to make of what he told her. What he was telling her now. Would she guess that he never talked about this? To
anyone
?

‘Pippi got sick,’ Connor continued. ‘When she was almost four. Leukaemia was the first really big word I learned to say.’

He could see the sympathy in Kate’s eyes so he turned his head just enough to focus on something else. It was way too late for sympathy.

‘Things went OK for a few years,’ he said. ‘There were long hospital stays and chemo and a bone-marrow transplant. Everybody was completely determined that Pippi would get through it. Nothing else mattered. No one else mattered.’

Oh, God. Could Kate hear the self-pity that came through in the rough edge to his voice? How selfish was it, even after all these years, to feel that he’d been abandoned unfairly?

‘Things went downhill when Pippi was six,’ Connor went on relentlessly. ‘I was lined up along with everybody else in the hope of finding a better match for a bone-marrow transplant. That was when my details got recorded, I guess, though they didn’t contact me until I was over eighteen about going on the register.’

Turning his head again, Connor suddenly remembered they were sharing this room with a dead person. He really did have to get out of there.

He faced Kate. ‘Pippi died about six months after that and it broke what was left of my family. I wasn’t quite ten years old when it happened. By the time I was fifteen I knew that I’d never want to have my own kids. They’re a potential bomb waiting to go off and destroy a whole family. It’s not a risk I’m ever going to take.’

Connor shook off the memories he’d never intended airing. ‘A risk I
am
prepared to take is giving away some of my bone marrow in the hope that the same agony doesn’t destroy the lives of others. If you think that’s unhealthy or unprofessional, that’s your problem, not mine.’

The silence was unbearable.

Connor turned to leave. ‘Oh...what I actually came down for was to tell you that the new microscope’s arrived. I told them to leave things in the boxes because I thought you might want to supervise the unpacking tomorrow.’

He didn’t give Kate a chance to respond.

‘See you later,’ was all he said. And then he walked out.

* * *

Very few people got put back together after an autopsy as neatly as Kate’s latest research trial case.

She was working on automatic and taking her time because she had too much else to think about.

Too many feelings welling up and swirling into a confused mess. It was comforting to let her hands do something as practical as suturing and cleaning instruments and tidying up.

Connor hadn’t wanted her sympathy, that was for sure. He hadn’t even given her a chance to say anything at all. She’d caught a glimpse of his face as he’d gone past on the other side of the glass window and the sadness on it had broken her heart.

Or it would have, if her heart hadn’t already been broken by his story.

She could so easily imagine him as that little boy who knew his mother had only ever wanted a daughter. And no one else had mattered after Pippi got sick? That was easy to imagine, too. A household revolving around the hospital visits or taking care of a precious, sick child at home.

How much older than Connor were his brothers? Enough for them to have been a pack of their own? Maybe a pack that had stayed intact after the rest of the family got broken.

What about the forgotten child?

Kate’s heart wasn’t just broken. It was bleeding. Connor had felt unloved, hadn’t he? She knew what that was like. Oh, God, she knew.

Kate wanted to reach back through the years. To pull that small boy into her arms and tell him that
he
was special too.

Loved.

He was loved now, she realised. Because all she wanted to do was find him. And hold him. And tell him that she understood.

That he was the most amazing,
special
person she’d ever met in her life.

No wonder he went far more than the extra mile for all his small patients and their families. For others that he barely knew apart from something like being bald and having a beautiful smile.

Kate could understand his determination not to have children of his own. Or for avoiding the risk of an intimate, long-term relationship. To give so much and make yourself so vulnerable only to have that love not returned or to get ripped out of your life. Heavens, he almost had a better reason than she did for being so determined. Something else they had in common that very few other people would.

It made them perfect for each other.

Didn’t it?

Maybe... Kate finally turned out the lights and clicked the door of the morgue closed behind her.

If she could just...

She barely heard the farewell from the lone technician in the lab. Kate kept walking, her head down. Then she found herself straightening her back and looking ahead. Her stride lengthened.

Maybe she
could
.

But how was she going to make it happen?

* * *

Bella had checked twice that the oven was on.

Not that it was really necessary because she could smell the meat cooking. Kate was going to be so impressed with this. A rack of lamb and little baby potatoes. She’d even remembered to buy some mint sauce.

When the phone rang, Bella wiped her hands on her jeans and went to answer it.

‘Is that Kate Graham’s house?’ A male voice asked.

‘Yup.’ It wasn’t Connor, Bella realised. Shame. ‘But she’s not home at the moment. Can I take a message?’

There was a short silence. ‘Maybe you could tell her...that her father called.’

Bella gave an audible gasp. ‘You’re Kate’s
father
?’

‘Yeah. I’m Kevin. Kevin Graham.’

‘I’m Bella. Annabelle Graham. David’s daughter. And...’ Bella had to take a deep breath. ‘And you’re my grandfather.’

‘Yeah.’ There was a chuckle on the other end of the line. ‘Surprise, huh?’

‘Um...’ Suddenly Bella didn’t know what to say.

‘I’ve been away,’ Kevin said.

That was a euphemism and a half. But maybe he was ashamed of the fact he’d been in prison. Bella had the sudden urge to end the call. Kate wouldn’t be happy about this, she could be absolutely sure of that.

What she’d never been sure of was why. This man, no matter what he’d done, was still a part of her family, wasn’t he? Didn’t people deserve a second chance?

‘I just wanted to tell Kate I’m sorry,’ Kevin said. ‘I don’t know what you got told, kid, but it was all my fault. Because of the drink, you know? And I’m clean now. Been off the stuff for years. It’s part of the programme, to tell the people you’ve hurt that you’re sorry.’

Bella had heard of that. She found herself nodding.

But what, exactly, had been all his fault? And would it make a difference if Kate knew how sorry her father was?

Maybe it would. What if the things that had happened so long ago were still affecting Kate now? If they were part of whatever it was that was keeping her and Connor from being more than just friends?

‘She won’t want to talk to me,’ Kevin told Bella. ‘But maybe she’ll listen if you told her. I really mean it. It would mean a lot to be able to see her again and tell her for myself.’

If Kate could get past whatever it was, she might be able to move on with her life. It could be that Bella was being handed the opportunity to do something very important.

‘Have you got a phone number?’ she asked her grandfather. ‘I need to think about this but I’ll see what I can do.’

CHAPTER EIGHT

K
ATE
knew exactly what she was going to do.

And she was going to do it on the weekend that Bella was going home to visit her parents and younger brother and sisters.

‘I wish you’d come, too,’ Bella said, the night before she was due to leave. ‘There’s probably still time to grab a ticket.’

‘I’ve got other things I want to do.’

‘Like what?’

There was no way in the world Kate was going to let Bella in on her plans, never mind how much her niece would approve of them. Fate was on her side in looking for a distraction.

‘What on earth is that?’

‘What?’ Bella was looking far too innocent.

‘That noise. That...’ Cocking her head to one side, Kate listened to get an idea of what direction the odd sound was coming from. Having identified that it was coming from Bella’s room, Kate sighed and went hunting.

The scrap of a kitten was apparently not happy about being behind the closed door. It was a smoky grey colour with white on its paws and in patches on its face. A tiny pink mouth was open and the warbling, mewing sound was pathetic but definitely outraged.

‘
Bella
. You know how I feel about pets. What on earth possessed you to drag a kitten home?’

Bella reached down and scooped up the tiny animal. ‘But I didn’t—’

‘You’ll have to take it back to the pet shop. What’s the time? When do they shut?’

‘I didn’t get if from a pet shop. It was sitting on the doorstep when I got home.’

‘Then ring the SPCA.’ Kate could hear the astonishingly loud purr the kitten was producing now. It climbed onto Bella’s shoulder and rubbed its head along the line of her jaw. ‘They must have a drop-off place. For heaven’s sake, you’re going away in the morning. What were you planning to do? Just keep it shut in your room and hope I didn’t notice? How irresponsible can you be, Bella?’

‘I was going to tell you about it.’ Bella was scowling. ‘When you’d had a glass of wine or something so you were in a better mood.’

‘There’s nothing wrong with my mood. And a glass of wine isn’t going to change my mind. I work all day. It’s unfair to even think about having a pet.’

‘Cats don’t mind. They’re not like dogs.’

‘I don’t like cats.’

‘You liked Fluffy.’

‘Fluffy was different. He was part of the family.’

‘Well, this one could be part of a family, too.
Your
family.’

‘I don’t
want
a family.’ Kate was not going to have the responsibility of something as huge as a pet to care for foisted on her like this. It was out of the question. Bella was not going to win this argument no matter how much she was scowling.

It wasn’t until the words had rushed out of her mouth that Kate heard what she was saying and it stopped her in her verbal tracks.

Did she
really
not want a family?

‘So you don’t want me, then?’ Bella sounded shocked. And then her eyes filled with tears.

‘I didn’t say that. That’s not what I meant and you know it.’

Bella’s head was bowed now. She was nuzzling the kitten, who put out a tiny, bright pink tongue and began enthusiastically washing Bella’s chin.

‘I just don’t want a...a fur child,’ Kate said desperately.

Why was the prospect so appalling? She’d loved Fluffy, the huge ginger cat that tolerated her brother’s family. Was it because a pet of her own really would feel like a ‘fur child’? Too close to the real thing?

‘She chose us.
You
.’ Bella’s voice was muffled. ‘She’s an orphan and she chose your house. It’s where she wants to live.’

‘Someone’s probably lost her and wants her back.’

Bella raised her gaze. ‘So we could keep her until we find out who that is.’

‘I...uh...’

‘If she goes to the SPCA, she’ll get locked in a cage. And there’ll be older cats who might be mean to her. And they’ll turn all the lights out at night and leave her all alone and she’ll get cold and—’

‘Oh, stop it.’ A snort of laughter escaped Kate. ‘All right. I suppose she can stay here until we find the owners. You can sort out the food and whatever toilet arrangements small cats need.’ She turned away with a sigh. ‘It’s just as well I’m not going away with you for the weekend, isn’t it?’

‘Mmm.’ Bella gave her aunt a brilliant smile. ‘You’ll fall in love with her, you’ll see. She’ll fill the gap in your life.’

‘I don’t have a gap in my life.’

Bella’s voice softened. ‘Yes, you do, Kate. You just don’t see it.’

It was Kate’s turn to scowl. Any minute now and this was going to turn into an argument. Except that Bella was showering kisses on the kitten. And then she held it out towards Kate.

‘This is the boss,’ Bella informed the kitten. ‘You’ll have to behave yourself and earn your cat bikkies by keeping her company when I’m not here. We don’t want Auntie Katie getting lonely at night, do we?’

* * *

It wasn’t the company of a kitten to keep her from getting lonely at night that Kate had in mind but she had to admit the distraction of the unexpected arrival had been welcome to keep nerves at bay.

Bella had found a pet shop open late on a Friday and they’d taken Kate’s car and brought it home loaded up with pet food and bowls and a basket. Kate found the almost enclosed cat box that guaranteed to keep the house hygienic and added a stock of organic kitty litter to go with it. Bella found toys. A stick that had a string with feathers attached to the end. A tunnel that opened like a concertina. A scratchy post and a small laser light pointer.

‘Ridiculous,’ Kate muttered when they got home. ‘All this stuff for just a few days.’

Bella, wise for once, said nothing.

On Saturday morning Kate had taken her to the airport and then gone home via some specialist food and wine shops. She had a busy day planned. The house needed cleaning, including changing her bed linen. The dinner she was going to make would showcase some of her culinary skills. She had even planned to set aside some time to choose the perfect music to put on.

Kate was doing something she hadn’t done in a very long time. She was hosting a dinner party.

And only one guest had been invited.

The kitten was a nuisance. It leapt onto the bed and got caught up in the sheets Kate was pulling off to put in the washing machine. She untangled it and put it on the floor. A corner from the armload of linen she carried out of the room was dangling and the kitten made a leap and swung from the sheet like an oversized pendulum.

‘Oh, for heaven’s sake!’ But Kate found herself smiling. And if she hadn’t had to deal with the kitten’s determination to get involved in the task, she might have been left wondering what on earth she thought she was doing when it was highly debatable whether Connor would even get the chance to find out whether she had clean sheets on her bed. He hadn’t responded to her casual invitation via text that she’d sent the moment she’d walked out of the airport terminal that morning.

And why would he? The last time Kate had seen him had been when he’d walked out of the morgue, having revealed so much of himself. Had he regretted being so open? She hadn’t seen him at all yesterday so maybe he was avoiding her.

The need to be close to him had preoccupied her all day after an almost sleepless night. She had gone over and over the things he had said and the implications his words had contained. And the more she thought about him, the surer she was of how much in love she was with Connor. And the more sure she was becoming that there could be a future for them.

It was a glorious day, this Saturday. Kate threw open the French doors to her living area in the heat of the afternoon and swept the courtyard. The kitten chased her broom.

‘You’re quite free,’ she informed it. ‘You’re welcome to go back home if you want. I can always donate your accessories to a worthy cause.’

The kitten rubbed its head on her ankle. Kate went to make sure the barbecue’s gas bottle wasn’t empty. The fillet steak was already marinating in a mix of spices, including garlic and ginger. The potatoes were peeled, ready to cook and then crush and roast so that they would be hot and crispy and delicious. The food was going to be deceptively simple and hopefully irresistible to a large, hungry man.

Because Connor had finally responded to her text message with one of his own.

You bet
, it said
. I’ve been waiting for a chance to taste your food ever since Bella said you were the best cook in the world.

No pressure, then.

On her cooking or any other skills.

Kate had a quiet glass of champagne at seven p.m., just before Connor was due to arrive.

The nerves were kicking in now. Kate was planning on testing a skill when she had no idea whether she even possessed it.

She had never even considered the notion of seducing a man before.

* * *

The setting was perfect.

Dusk had fallen and there were fat candles on the wooden table outside, the flicker of the flames reflecting on the crystal glasses and shining silverware. The barbecue was open and there were covered platters of things that were obviously about to get cooked, but even now he could smell something delicious.

The trees surrounding the small courtyard and garden closed them off from the world and Connor realised that he was feeling oddly nervous.

Had been, ever since Kate had opened her front door.

It was the first time he’d seen her hair loose since that day he’d brought Bella home with her injured foot. A long time ago now and so much had changed. He knew so much about Kate.

She knew so much about him.

Maybe they both knew more about each other than anybody else on earth did. The thought was scary.

Not only was Kate’s hair falling loose, she was wearing a floaty sort of skirt that swirled around her legs when she moved. Connor had only ever seen her wearing fitted skirts at work or jeans at home. He’d never realised before how much more feminine it was to see the hints of leg that came and went between folds of soft fabric. So much...sexier. Her feet were covered in what looked like ballet shoes but he could bet that underneath the pale leather, her toenails were bright red.

Good grief. He had to get a grip or he’d do something impulsive. Like reaching for that silky, shining river of hair that was just begging to be stroked. Actually, what Connor really felt like doing was catching some of it and winding it around his hands until he’d trapped Kate’s head so that he could position it perfectly to kiss her. Long. And hard.

He swallowed hard and looked around. ‘No Bella?’

‘No.’ Kate was fussing with the top of a wine bottle. ‘She’s gone home for the weekend to visit her family.’ She cleared her throat. ‘Would you like some wine or would you prefer a beer?’

‘Wine’s good. Here, give it to me.’ He reached for the bottle but Kate stepped away slightly.

‘I can manage.’

Whoa... Connor slapped himself mentally. He should know how touchy Kate was about being given orders. Especially when it came to something she was perfectly capable of doing for herself. It wouldn’t occur to her to feed a man’s ego by pretending otherwise, would it?

And he liked that. Didn’t he? She was a strong, independent woman who was at least his equal in pretty much everything. Except...she still needed protecting, didn’t she? She was afraid of violence. Of letting people close.

Everything about this woman was confusing. Most confusing was the way he felt about her. Connor wasn’t quite sure why he’d accepted the invitation to come to dinner tonight but now that he was here, one thing was very clear.

He wanted Kate.

And...maybe she wanted him, too. Otherwise why would she have set this up? She must have known Bella wouldn’t be here and she’d obviously gone to a lot of effort to make things nice.

Nerves kicked in again. And when Connor felt something sharp attack his leg, he almost leapt out of his skin. He uttered a choice word he would never normally have chosen to say in front of a woman.

But Kate laughed. ‘Meet the kitten,’ she said.

The blasted animal was climbing purposefully up his jeans, the heavy denim no match for claws that felt like needles. Connor carefully peeled the tiny animal away from his leg. It was no bigger than his hand. He looked at the ball of grey fluff. And then he looked up at Kate.

‘Never would have picked you for a cat person,’ he said.

‘I’m not. Bella found it on the doorstep yesterday. I’m waiting for its owners to come and find it.’

‘Seems happy.’ He could feel the whole kitten vibrating with the rumble of its purr. ‘I think it might prefer to stay here.’

‘That’s what Bella thinks,’ Kate sighed. She handed Connor a glass of wine. ‘But I’ve never even considered having a pet.’

‘Why not?’

‘Oh...you know. The whole “fur child” thing, I guess.’ Kate met his gaze steadily. ‘I’m probably further along the “no kids” road than you are. It extends to pets as well.’

The calm surety of her words was almost disturbing. In Connor’s experience, all women wanted kids. They were happy with a relationship to start with but as soon as things started to get serious, he knew they were seeing wedding bells and babies. That was why those relationships never, ever lasted.

He’d known Kate was not his type. He’d known she was different. What he hadn’t known was that her difference put her on the same planet he inhabited. They were two of a kind.

Made for each other?

Connor felt an odd sensation in his gut. It wasn’t desire this time. It was a strange feeling. Like a smile that wasn’t going to make it as far as his face. A sort of contentment.

It was a nebulous sensation, though. Newborn and fragile. Did Kate sense that he was at a bit of a loss? She picked something up from the table.

‘Look at this.’

The device looked like a remote control for a car lock but when Kate pressed the button, the kitten scrambled from Connor’s hands and shot across the flag stones of the courtyard like a bolt of furry lightning.

‘What the—?’ And then Connor saw the red dot of the laser light that the kitten was chasing.