“Please tell Tark I didn’t mean any harm.
It’s just … I’ve felt Gavin’s presence every day since I met him,
and I need to believe he still exists. Can you talk to him through
the portal?” I asked, hoping that Gavin was wrong.
“No one can. Elias and Elaine came back
through to stock the cabin and to send word that they had spoken to
the queen. I’m sorry Nora; you’ll have to be patient.”
“I want to try to reach him tomorrow by the
lake, okay?” I pleaded.
“We’ll see, but remember … you need to be
careful,” she warned.
“Goodnight, Rena.”
Feeling empty with no hope of sensing Gavin
now, I went back to bed with my blue shield firmly in place. The
moonlight illuminated the linen envelope across the way. I needed
an outlet. Taking the sketchpad from the nightstand, I started
drawing his face. The charcoal was very forgiving, and I could
easily manipulate the lines. His thick hair was next, and I found
that concentrating on the texture helped the softness come through
on paper. I drew for hours, absorbed in the moment, drawing each
specific feature with as much detail as I remembered. Finally, I
held the sketchpad away and was amazed to see the final product
wasn’t that bad. Dawn mercifully loomed on the horizon. Maybe this
is what I would do … sketch all night and then take a nap in the
afternoon. That didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
Choosing to overlook the dark circles
blooming in the mirror, I tried to find enthusiasm for a day that
was sure to be long. The closet ran the length of the room and held
enormous rows of garments. True to form, Elaine had supplied enough
clothing to assure I didn’t have to do laundry for six months. I
hoped with every ounce of my being Gavin came back before I ran
out.
“Rena, what is this material?” I asked, as I
reached the bottom step. I found an emerald green outfit similar to
the traditional wear of India. The material felt as soft as a
newborn bunny.
“This is elfin cotton and grows much softer
in the kingdom. It’s Gavin’s favorite, and so all of his clothes,
towels, and sheets are made from it.”
My brow rose in surprise. It was amazing the
man I knew was the same one Rena was talking about. My Gavin was
not pretentious and wouldn’t have ordered sheets made of the
softest material. He wouldn’t have cared. Rena’s eyes crinkled with
laughter.
“The queen has had his things made out of
this material since he was a small child,” she explained. “Children
are rare in our land. Gavin, as the sole heir to the throne, was
raised with a want for nothing.”
Visions of what my life would have been like
had I been born in Kailmeyra flashed in my mind—until I realized he
was royalty and I was not.
Rena shrugged. Even though my shield was up,
she could feel my intent. The fact that I was not completely closed
to her was alarming. I realized as we walked to the lake I was
growing stronger.
“Rena, would you please go stand by the edge
of the forest, I want to try and reach Gavin.” She shuddered; her
expression became severe.
“Are you sure that’s a good idea, my lady?
What if something happens? I will not be able to reach you, and I
cannot risk you getting hurt.”
“If you see a problem, yell for me to stop,
and I will bring up the shield.” Uncertainty reigned in her deep
brown eyes.
“Look, I don’t know if I could hurt you,
Rena, but the thought I might be able to will keep me in control. I
just know I have to try,” I urged; she hesitantly agreed, and
headed to the fringe of the tall oak trees.
I waited until she was far enough away. My
mind whipped open, and power billowed through the water, rippling
downward. Every cell rejoiced in its release; it felt good to let
some of it go. Keeping a tight rein, I focused the energy to the
depths of the lake, finding the portal at the bottom easily. The
breeze tickling my face stilled.
The experience with the faucet last night
taught that intent was the key to this world. All I had to do was
ask the lake…. Surely, it would understand.
Open up please; I need to speak to
Gavin.
I concentrated with more energy, pouring out my intent.
The portal refused to give way; frustration grew in my heart. I
cranked up the energy a bit further. The animals grew quiet, and
the restless water lapped at the lake’s edge. Clouds billowed in,
blocking out the sun, and I opened my eyes to the dimming shadows.
The silence of the meadow demanded I acknowledge the danger. I
ignored it.
I need to speak with Gavin.
I tried
again, turning my concentration back to the portal, this time with
a little more force. The water’s surface bubbled. A wave of heat
hammered my face, and sweat rolled down my cheeks. I kept my senses
at bay in complete concentration. Quickly framing the perimeters of
my mind with blue, I searched for Rena. She was fearful and
worried, but not suffering. I turned once more to the water,
opening my energy to full capacity. My body heated with the effort,
my skin felt as if it were glowing.
I need to speak to the one who I am
sourced to. I need to speak to the Prince of the Alfar, to my
future mate,
I demanded. The water was rolling now, and the
light from the lake was a solid shining gold. I could feel the
portal giving way.
The once stagnant air violently whipped and
raged as if a huge storm was brewing. The cool breeze was a sharp
contrast to the heat of the bubbling gold. My concentration
intensified, ever focused on finding Gavin. The air bit and snapped
at my face as the wind howled, and the lake roared with its
brilliance. My hands outstretched, power soaring through me,
elation sang through my veins; I was on the other side.
“Nora, you must stop!” Rena and Tark’s voice
cried in unison. I felt the power seep farther inland. Rudimentary
shapes and glimpses of bright colors that were just like my dream
hit my senses, and I grinned. The wind whipped stronger than ever,
but it was Rena’s squeal of terror that quickly brought me back …
what if I was hurting them? I turned the fringes of my mind blue
once more. Tark’s emotions were desperate, and Rena felt …
despair?
The shield shot up at once, and my knees gave
out from combination of the sudden jolt and the weight of pain. I
collapsed, exhausted from the effort. Tark and Rena ran across the
field.
“You must never try that again, my lady!”
Tark thundered. His hard lapis eyes were furious; his jaw that of a
warrior. Why was he so angry?
“Rena, what were you thinking?” he bellowed.
Tark was almost out of control with rage, and I became very afraid.
Rena’s tears streamed down her face, as she silently pleaded with
him.
“Are you both all right?” I asked, now
alarmed. If I had inadvertently hurt either one of them, I would
never be able to forgive myself. I double-checked the blue, and it
was solid as a rock.
“What happened? My energy was focused only on
the lake and finding Gavin … you weren’t hurt … were you?” I
stammered.
“No one was hurt … no one but the lake that
is. Nora, look at what you’ve done!” Tark’s eyes burned with rage,
but his emotions wailed with pain. It was as if my actions toward
the lake had hurt him.
The wind no longer blew, but dark clouds
remained. The stench of scorched earth slapped my face. All of the
life surrounding the water’s edge lay in a tangled burnt mess. The
thunder rolled as a gentle rain started to fall, and my heart
stopped. The lake was now a solid piece of hard gold.
I turned and vomited. The devastation to
something so beautiful was completely wrong. Where were the animals
going to get water now? What about the creatures living in the
lake? Despair ripped through me, and the pain from it almost
rendered me unconscious, but I forced myself to look at all I had
done.
“Will it stay this way … can Gavin get back?”
I whimpered; the anguish became stronger. Rena held me, her face
slick with tears.
“I think the lake has too much energy in it.
As it is expelled, it will dissipate and turn back the way it
should. Do not despair, my lady, it does you no good,” she
muttered.
I stared at the golden lake and the charred
grasses, and I knew Rena was wrong. The portal was now sealed shut.
I had no idea if the life there was suspended or had died. This was
not due to excess power; this was due to wrong intent. A stab shot
through my heart as I grasped my mistake.
I needed to see Gavin for my own gain; the
intent was selfishness. The lake must have thought the homeland was
under attack and sealed it to avoid invasion. My actions had shut
the only way Gavin had of getting through; he would never be able
to come back now. My vision swam in and out of focus as the world
capsized. I embraced the black oblivion, desperately needing
relief.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 16—The Golden
Lake
For the next several weeks, Tark went to the
lake every day. He was a friend of the water, and his work had
coaxed the solid piece of gold to a cloudy, golden goo. The energy
it took made Rena and Tark go to bed early every night. Rena healed
the grasses and any animals around the lake easily. The flowers and
cattails seemed as if they had never been harmed. I witnessed the
improvement from the bedroom window. Remorse ran deep in my soul,
and I refused to assault the beautiful space with my wretched
existence.
I vowed I would never again allow my
desperate need for Gavin to cloud the true intentions of my heart.
I would appreciate and love every moment he had given me, and would
forgive him for what he could not. I only hoped he could do the
same, for now I knew I would never see him again.
Rena explained that I was unconscious for
three days. Tark tried to get help, but even he could not penetrate
the water’s edge. My first memory was waking up in Gavin’s bed with
Rena by my side, her head bent in concentration as she sang in a
strange language. She was trying to heal me. It was sweet, really,
but I was too far past her gifts as a healer. Despair had taken
hold of my heart.
I now realized I was like the elves in the
fact that I got energy from Gavin. The gaping hole in my chest
widened and festered in his absence. Even if he could find his way
back, would he even want me after what I had done to this place?
That thought dug into the last vestige of self I had left, and I
tried to cry. I had no more tears.
I was not a selfish creature by nature, and
to lose sight of my friends and the life of the lake was
inexcusable. Rena tried to reassure me, but it didn’t work. When
she came into the room, I refused to face her. I now spent my days
in bed working on Gavin’s sketches; at least I would have these to
remember him.
A knock rapped on the door.
“Please leave me alone,” I said. Rena came at
least twice a day with a request to get out of bed or to eat
something. I had done neither in days; I couldn’t. The door creaked
open. My heart sank … it wasn’t Rena.
“How bad is it?” I choked.
“Well, it’s not great.” Tark’s lapis eyes
widened with concern. He had refused to enter the prince’s bedroom,
even to carry in my unconscious body.
“I’ve come to ask a favor.” He sat down on
the edge of the bed. The fact that he was in Gavin’s personal
space, sitting on his mattress, made my heart weep. He would never
disrespect the prince by being in his bedroom. It must be
hopeless.
“I need your help, Nora. I’ve gone as far as
I can; I need for you to do the rest. Can you try, for me?” I had
no idea what he wanted. The only thing I seemed to be capable of
was destruction.
“What if I make a mistake again?”
Tark’s expression was full of compassion. He
reached out for my hand and enveloped it in both of his. My eyes
snapped to his face. He had never touched me in this way. Tark’s
hands were rough, like a man who had worked manual labor his entire
life. He searched my face; I hadn’t seen a mirror in days, and I
had no idea why he was scowling so.
“The Creator does not make mistakes. You were
given the gifts you have for a purpose, and you must embrace that.
I think you must ask the water for its forgiveness before you can
fully heal.” My forehead wrinkled. Water was water, right? He
smiled.
“The water is a life force. It has an
understanding of intent, as does the soil. You once said Edna’s
strawberries were the sweetest in the county. The reason was the
love she placed in the care of the plants. I ask that you now come
and show the water your true intentions of that day. I have done
all I can do. Without this, the portal will remain shut.” His
expression became wary.
“What if I don’t have enough energy left?” I
could feel the desolation around my heart, my blue shield forever
solid. I didn’t even know if I could bring it down. It felt as it
did the morning Gavin couldn’t read my thoughts, and I didn’t have
him here to physically shatter the barrier.
Tark sighed; his tears brimmed. The salty sea
smell intensified, bringing back my focus.
“Nora, you are the only one. You must try. If
you don’t, I’m afraid all is lost. I cannot think that or my Rena
will weaken. Her strength is leaving—did you know?” The tears I
thought were long gone now streamed weakly down my face.
“Can you try for her? … To keep her strong?”
Doubt seeped out of every pour in my body. His lapis irises went
from liquid to stone in a split second.
“What happened to the fighter my prince fell
in love with? The one who saved him from the Dokkalfar? Do not
forget who you are, my lady,” he commanded. His emotions demanded I
do something.
The thought of Rena gradually becoming
defenseless stirred something deep within. Tark was right. Was I
going to lie here and let them all down? My hazel gaze snapped from
the window back to his, and I searched his face. His emotions went
from pleading to victorious.