“Nope.”
The silence stretched as I
piled into the greatest comfort food in the world.
“You planning on selling
any special hammers today?”
The bite in my mouth seemed
to grow, and I conscientiously swallowed, vying for
time.
“Not that I know of, but
I’ll let you know if I do.” That was true enough. I didn’t know if
I was going to sell any hammers or if Gavin was going to
visit.
“Would you look at the
time? Mr. Vernor will fire me for sure … you know what they say,
early’s on time, and on time is late,” I smiled, throwing her words
back at her. She shook her head and walked away.
“See you this afternoon,” I
hollered, practically running out the door. A painted bunting stood
guard over the Jeep. I stopped, and he tilted his cobalt blue head
to one side and then flew to the roof of the barn.
Gravel gave way to
pavement, and my thoughts raced. The small town mentality wouldn’t
allow for much leeway. If Gavin showed back up at the store, I
would have to tell Edna before someone else did. I never dated in
high school. The rumor mill always told that the tragedy of
abandonment had scarred me for life. I would probably end up a
spinster. Until now, that didn’t sound so bad.
“Morning, Mr.
Vernor.”
“Morning, Nora. Can you
mind the store by yourself today? Mamma and I are in charge of the
decorations for the fall festival, and we’re meeting the committee
at church. Oh … that reminds me,” he stopped in his tracks and
adjusted his glasses. “We’re going to be closed the day after the
festival. I figured everyone will be too tired to shop, and mamma
wants to have the floors waxed.”
“No problem.” I grinned,
trying not to get too excited.
“Would you stock the
paintbrush aisle while we’re gone?”
“Sure.” I went to the back
room and quietly groaned. Boxes sat in rows waiting to be
shelved.
The cowbell clanged on the
doorframe as they left, and I went to the counter and flipped on
the small radio, finding my now favorite classic station. The room
filled with Chopin nocturnes, and I got to work ripping the tape
off of the boxes.
Pricing and sorting brushes was work that
required hands only, and so my mind wandered back to its favorite
obsession.
Gavin’s nap in the Jeep seemed to help. He
was as different as night and day when we got back to town. It
wasn’t because his coloring was better and the dark circles, that
were more like purple bruises under his eyes, had disappeared—it
went deeper than that. I sat there for a moment trying to figure
out what on earth I even meant by that. I was certain I felt his
emotions, making the whole experience even more bizarre. The memory
of his warm lips on my hand flashed. Butterflies churned every time
I thought about his whisper soft touch.
The cowbell clanged again, and a strangely
familiar pull made my stomach flip.
Get a grip, it couldn’t be
him…
.
“I’ll be with you in a minute,” I hollered,
getting up from the floor. Gray clung to my knees, and I swept the
dust away. Tying the apron a little tighter, I whipped around.
“May I he—” Broad shoulders blocked my
way.
“Hey, you,” I murmured through a smile, not
knowing what else to say. My new revelation about his feelings
connecting with my thoughts caused my mind to clear instantly.
“Good morning, Nora,” Gavin
sheepishly grinned. “I find myself in need of some more
nails.”
“How far did you drive to
get to this store?” I willed my emotions to calm down.
“Not very far,” his smile
widened.
“You seem to be much
better.”
“Thank you. You are lovely
as ever.” His eyes flickered with mischief. My hair was pulled back
in a ponytail and I had on jeans, my favorite shirt, and the
standard blue Vernor’s hardware apron … yeah, I was
stunning.
The frustration flowing
through my heart was mirrored in his expression, and my pulse
quickened—I knew I was right.
“I’m going to put this box
away, and I’ll meet you on aisle four, all right?” I said,
singing
Mary had a Little
Lamb
in my mind as loudly as I could
think it. His head cocked to one side; his eyes narrowed as he
stared. I raised my brow a bit and smoothed out my expression,
trying to look innocent. For a moment he searched my face and I
froze … but then he turned and walked to the back of the store. The
children’s song gradually softened to nothing. I cleared my
thoughts, my mind went completely
blank, and I waited until
his focus turned to the assorted nails.
Gavin!
He whipped around; shock
shot through me, and I gasped. His eyes blanked and then refocused.
Panic surged, making my pulse race.
Gavin tried to relax his
features as he made his way back. His eyes had me pinned, and I
tried to remember how to breathe. Every nerve heightened in
awareness and understanding. He placed my hand on his chest, his
gaze refusing to concede. The strong rhythm beneath my fingertips
sent my physical reaction to him in overdrive.
“Yes, Nora … I
hear
you.” The
emotional creature still comforting me tightened in reassurance.
Initial relief soared; I wasn’t crazy after all. Before Gavin, I
would have discounted the notion of telepathy as ludicrous.
Suddenly, it seemed natural.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I
whispered. Really, could he hear everything?
“I didn’t know how … and
yes, I hear your thoughts as if they are my own.”
“How does that work?” I
whispered again, trying to understand. He seemed to be choosing his
next words carefully.
“It is a trait that has
been genetically passed through my family. We all carry some of
this gift.” He started to say something else and then stopped. The
intensity in the room had my heart pounding out of my
chest.
“Can you read everyone’s
thoughts?”
“No, not really. Some
people I cannot see at all and some people come in spurts ... you
are the first person that is crystal clear.”
“I don’t understand …” How
could anything like this even be possible? Who was he? His emotions
spiked so strongly that I was physically uncomfortable.
“I promise I will tell you
in time, but that time is not now,” Gavin murmured.
This is going to get
take some getting use to
.
“Would you rather I wait
until you speak?” His voice had a serious edge to it. “I’ve never
heard anyone so clearly before, and so I don’t know if I can block
your thoughts. But if you want me to, I will try.”
“I don’t know …” The idea
that someone could hear every errant thought traipsing through my
head was a little disconcerting. But it seemed unnatural at this
point to ask him to stay away. Maybe I’d get used to it.
“I understand the need for
privacy more than you know,” Gavin said cryptically; his eyes
softened with comprehension. I held my breath, trying not to think
about how incredibly attractive he was. He pretended not to hear me
struggle.
“Why do you think you hear
my mind more than others?”
“I have no idea.” He
hesitated, looking out the storefront window. “I suspect it’s
because your thoughts are the most transparent in intent I have
ever known,” he softly muttered.
“What do you mean?” I
asked, slightly distracted by the emotions churning. His eyes
turned back to me.
“You think in clear,
straight, clean lines. I’ve never known anyone like you.” Gavin’s
emotions strengthened.
“You must not have met many
people then,” I teased. The vortex of emotions made my stomach
queasy, like I was about to get carsick. I was starting to regret
eating those pancakes. At that thought, the feeling subtly
dissipated.
“My apologies,”
he
said, smiling.
Okay, maybe you could try
to shut me out a little.
“I can try.” Distress
whispered over me.
“Not if it makes you sad,”
I countered. His smiled widened.
“May I help you finish
stocking the brushes?”
“Please.” I sighed, ever
grateful he was changing the subject.
I sat on the floor pricing
the rollers as he put them in their proper bin. My thoughts whirred
in the silence.
In a way, it was freeing to
have deception taken off the table. So often, people used little
white lies to avoid emotional vulnerability. Honesty was hard; it
left you feeling powerless. Not having the option to deceive took
away a defense, forcing me to a level of trust I never thought
possible. The fact I already had such faith in a man was
frightening, but one I barely knew flat out terrified me. Still, if
I never saw him again, I knew he had already given me more than any
man in my life. In a way, he had renewed my hope in humanity and I
would always be grateful.
He knelt beside me, awe
glowing in his gemstone eyes. “See, that’s what I mean. You have no
idea how strong purity of thought is. It overpowers and humbles
me.” My heart rejoiced as he picked up my hand and held it between
his, turning it over and inspecting it as if it
was a
fascinating
artifact.
“You have chosen not to
deceive me. I will always try and give you the same respect, I
promise.” As before in the Jeep, the emotional creature wrapped its
arms around me. The sincerity of it was sheer beauty. He broke his
hypnotic stare and started stocking the shelves again. Thankfully,
the creature stayed. It was almost as if Gavin was caressing me
with his emotions. Sudden visions of him taking my face in his
hands and combining this feeling with physical touch flooded
through. I tried to repress it, but it was too late.
“Nora ... this is all so
new to me.” He kept his gaze forward.
The wonderfully strong
blanket of emotions started to fade. There was something about him
that remained hidden. Either he was unable to explain, or for some
reason he wasn’t allowed.
I remembered putting him in
the same category as the painted buntings. My selfish attraction
wouldn’t scare him away. I resigned to think of this fascination
later, when I was sure my thoughts were my own. I needed to lighten
the conversation, squashing the depressing thought that maybe he
found my physical appearance morose. Peeking at him from under my
lashes, I watched one eyebrow rise as that notion raced through my
mind.
I cleared my thoughts and
really focused on listening; the orchestral music in the background
didn’t help. I needed better control … I would work on it. Gavin
helped me put the now empty boxes back in the small storeroom, and
we made our way to the counter.
“What about you?” he asked,
obviously changing the subject. “Have you always been emotionally
clairvoyant?” He made it seem like what I was doing was an everyday
common occurrence.
Taking a deep breath to collect my
thoughts, I tried to answer as honestly as I could.
“I have a vague sense around others. For
example,” I pointed to the lady who was walking in front of the
large window, “she is worried about something … but I don’t know
what.” Absentmindedly, I picked up a shop cloth and started wiping
the counter.
“Even as a small child I could watch people
and tell what emotional state they were in. Over the past month, it
seems to have gotten stronger. Edna and I used to play a game in
the grocery store. I would tell her who was feeling what. She
always thought it was a great way to keep me occupied, but I’m
beginning to think maybe it started some crazy turn of events.” His
brow rose with curiosity.
“At any rate, I’ve never physically been able
to feel anyone else’s emotions until I met you. It’s a little
overpowering,” I mumbled, suddenly finding it hard to look at
him.
“Wait.” He placed his hand over mine,
stopping its motion. Fear, comprehension, and the need to protect
warred with each other immediately. Adrenaline kicked in as the
force of his emotions saturated to the center of my bones.
“You mean to tell me you are not just reading
my emotions, but you are actually feeling them?”
I had been so sure that he already knew this,
that I was surprised at his response. His shock kept my mind empty,
and I braced myself for the unknown. Emotionally, I knew I couldn’t
take much more.
“Yes,” I whispered.
For a moment, everything went blank, but then
my stomach flipped and something shuddered in the depths of the
green.
I can’t help it,
I thought
defensively.
I find it a double standard you can read every
thought of mine and I’m supposed to be okay with it, but now you’re
upset when you find out that I can feel what you’re feeling.
Vulnerability obviously was hard for him too.
Protection was winning the battle of the
emotions raging. I felt comforted … he wanted to protect me more
than he was angry. Gavin leaned close.
“I know you can’t help it.” His deep voice
was as panicked as his emotional state. He seemed to be trying to
suppress it with a great deal of effort.
The clanging of the cowbell
rang throughout the store. Mrs. Brown waddled in; her shrewd eyes
curiously raked over Gavin. I tried to pull my hand away, but
Gavin’s grip held. My mind raced as I glared at him ... she was a
huge gossip
. He grinned and released
me.