The Lily (The Flowering Series Book 1) (11 page)

While most would say it was on the small side, the kitchen full of windows sold me and we moved in as soon as school ended.

We spent the summer getting used to our new surroundings and making the house our own. I could hardly believe Joshua was going to be a freshman in high school.

He tried out for the basketball team and immediately made friends with a group of guys I thought would be just enough of a good influence to balance out the bad. He was a teenage boy after all and that came with a whole host of situations and hormones I was not looking forward to.

There were certainly times I wished Joshua had a father figure in his life but I knew he had open conversations with Carmine, Mike and Jake’s dad so I was confident he had the testosterone covered. Plus I hoped that growing up with only his mother would teach him to respect girls better than his fellow horny teenage friends.

We slowly slid in to suburban life and I did everything I could to make the transition easier on Joshua. At first I thought he would miss the city lifestyle but when he came home the second week of school with stars in his eyes I knew that we were here to stay.

Of course that little harlot broke his heart but not his spirit and with his father’s looks he quickly had a line out the door for dates. To my relief and delight he was open with me about all his questions about girls and even the sex stuff. It definitely validated my parenting clout and I remember opening a bottle of bubbly to celebrate after he told me he was not going to have sex until he was in love.

It was going to be a long year but if I learned anything from my past it was to not blink because you never know when it will be gone. I finished the glass and headed to bed falling asleep knowing that Jake would have been proud.

Chapter 14:

“Morgan?”

In my mind I heard a deep, soothing voice rousing me from the daydream. I turn and Damon stood framing the doorway in low-slung jeans and a well fitting t-shirt. He has been working hard to finish my addition and I see the sawdust and paint speckling his hair. My heart leaps in my chest reminding me I am in over my head.

I smile acknowledging him and he says he is going to shower before we have dinner if that is all right. I nod and lay my head back trying to fully pull myself from the past. I also begin to notice that it does not take as long to break from thoughts of Jake.

Maybe I have finally accepted that although Jake will always be my first love and I must acknowledge that Damon was sent to help me move on. No one has had this kind of effect on me since Jake. With Joshua’s father I knew he was sent to allow me to begin healing by giving me Joshua but that was a completely different kind of love.

Without even knowing what was happening Damon quickly and easily became a friend and although it surprised me he easily moved to be much more. Our conversations were soulful and it was as though he was built to fill the void I had in my life since losing Jake. That thought scared me to death.

It was not a decision to be physically attracted to Damon or even to enter into a relationship with him. I was at a point now where I had to decide if I was ready to let Jake go from the place inside me that was still holding him so tight.

Damon and I had spoken about Jake before we had been physically intimate. I wanted to be honest about where I was emotionally and what he could reasonably expect from me. He listened attentively and dried my tears. He wanted to be with me in whatever form I needed it to be.

I remember finding his lips and allowing him to take me to bed. We spent the night listening to the rain and making new memories. Damon’s touch was like electricity running through my body and always immediately had my mind venturing to the naughty side of the tracks. That first night I was confident I would die from overstimulation but I finally realized there was worse ways to go.

While I was grateful for his patience I knew that a man who could make my breath catch just by walking in a room should not be expected to play second fiddle in anyone’s heart. I wanted Damon to have the complete love he deserved but there was something missing, something holding me back from giving it to him.

I started to shiver and turned to go into the house and ran into Joshua on his way out to a friend’s. We had the where, when, who and why talk and just as he was heading down the steps he turned back to me and said Damon needed me upstairs in the addition.

His smile was suspicious but I was drained so I just smiled back and he called out, “Oh and mom? Be happy.”

I shook my head at his goofy send-off and then headed inside to see what Damon needed. I found my way through the construction and heard running water in what was going to be my ultimate bathroom complete with a soaking tub and steam shower.

The door was shut and not wanting to interrupt him I gently knocked. When Damon opened the door my senses were overwhelmed. His smell was invigorating and jumpstarted each and every hibernating cell in my body. I could feel steam on my face and I could hear the soft sounds of jazz in the background.

Damon seemed to know when I needed words and when I needed actions. He grabbed my hands and pulled me to his chest still damp from his recent shower. His hands were rough from his work while at the same time soft and gentle, warming me from the inside out.

His kiss was gentle and exploring opening me up to receive everything he had to offer. He spun me around to see my just finished bathroom space. I did not know where to look first but my eyes were immediately drawn to the shower and the bouquets of wildflowers lining the floor.

I wanted to tell Damon how amazing it was and how special I felt but before I could speak he produced one lily from behind his back. My eyes met his as he handed me the lily.

During our early conversations I had told Damon about Jake and the lilies and the importance they had in our relationship. Damon was giving me a way out without all of the pain and suffering that comes from breaking off any relationship. Damon knew that my heart was not fully available and this was his way of asking me to allow him in.

I was staring at the lily, beautiful and elegant. Then I looked around the shower at the wildflowers and realized that Damon was using the wildflowers to describe us. We came from different places but when placed together we were spectacular.

I could feel Damon’s eyes on me and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Jake was my past and a part of my foundation and no one can replace him. Damon is my future and he will leave his own mark on my soul.

When I opened my eyes I felt my hand open and the lily dropped to the floor. I heard Damon let out a held breath and I moved into his arms. I pulled his head down to mine and kissed him with every ounce of passion and desire I had. I immediately came alive for him and tangled my hands in his hair.

We slowly undressed each other taking time to appreciate every scar and curve earned before we knew each other. When we both stood naked Damon led me into the shower that was set to the perfect temperature. The wildflowers were getting wet but we only had eyes for each other.

I never believed another man would be able to make my body react the way Jake had and honestly Damon did not. Damon made my body react in his own wild and passionate way. He washed my hair giving me a scalp massage by the time I was ready to rinse I was already panting and whimpering for him. Damon took pity on me and he held my back against his chest and allowed his hand to glide over my stomach to the center of my need. I only needed one flick of his finger to make me come apart. If he had not been holding me up my knees would have buckled under me.

After we made it out of the shower and to the bed he took it upon himself to explain his feelings through each kiss and caress. I was breathing for his touch and every time I felt myself on the edge he would look me straight in the eyes and watch me fall deeper in love with him.

By choosing to live in the now I had given myself another opportunity at love and happiness. I was slightly concerned about telling Joshua until Damon explained that before he presented me with the lily he actually asked Joshua for permission to pursue me. I was touched that he respected both Joshua and me enough to do that and I made sure he understood how much so the next time we were alone.

Damon and I continued dating and although there were limited sleepovers because I wanted Joshua to grow up in a respectful household, it was obvious that there was no turning back. Not too mention Damon was quite creative in the when and where department. Let’s just say that I never thought I would be having sex in the backseat of car after high school.

A few weekends later Lily and Mike came to visit and although I had told both of them about Damon I had no idea how everyone was going to get along. I knew Damon was amazing and would do everything in his power to make sure my friends were welcome.

Yet Lily and Mike had only ever seen me with Jake. I know they want me to be happy but I also do not want them to think I am being untrue to Jake. Of course I was worried over nothing. Damon and Mike were instant friends and Lily could barely contain her drooling.

Damon took Mike fishing and I got some one-on-one time with Lily and that is when the questions came out. I was honest about my feelings for Damon, which she quickly accepted and moved on to the sex. I certainly did not have to lie in that department and in typical Lily fashion she made me blush and refused to let me go with a PG version.

It was a great visit and I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My old life and new life were mixing and so far nothing major had fallen apart. I was skeptical since my mother was still moving in and my old wounds were trying to rear their ugly heads.

Damon knew how stressed I was about my mother moving in so the night before he took Joshua and I out for dinner. When we got home Joshua took off to his room and I felt Damon tense up. It had been a long time since I let my insecurities get the best of me but I could not help but wonder if he was leaving me.

I invited him onto the deck and we sat looking up at the stars. Actually I was the only one looking up because he was staring at me. He took my hand, kissed my wrist and laid all of his cards on the table. He was crazy in love with me and he knew my life would be changing with my mother moving in but he was in this for the long haul.

My heart knew it had found a new home. With scary honesty I told him I was in love with him and no matter what happened with my mother I was dedicated to seeing where this relationship could go. Damon spent the night demonstrating his words with loving so sweet I melted into each and every kiss. When we parted in the morning I was confident my heart was in a good place.

I quickly showered after Damon left and got ready to go help my mother move in because I did not want to drag the process out. Damon, Joshua and I were going to the city in a few weeks and I wanted to be sure she was settled before then.

The woman who showed up to my house was a shell of the former manipulative woman I grew up with. Time had robbed her of her youth and beauty and lack of true love had made her brittle. I hugged her awkwardly and then stood back stunned when she thanked me. I had never heard her show gratitude to anyone for anything when I was growing up.

It was obviously going to be a different experience then I imagined and I quickly decided it was best to stay open-minded. She came out of her room for all meals and talked with Joshua about school but other than that she spent most of her time reading in her room. She was polite to Damon and while I fully expected disapproval for having him stay over she did not say a thing.

One afternoon I took some tea and cookies to her door. When she invited me in I was shocked at how many books were stacked everywhere.

We drank our tea in silence but when I got up to leave I heard a meek voice ask, “Morgan will you let me try again?”

With tears running down both our faces I nodded then left before I broke down completely. From that day on we had tea each afternoon I was home and little by little we began talking. Not about the past but about the future. It was a rocky start but for once I had hope.