La Roux woke with a gasp, and for a moment, he could not place where he was. However, as the sound of voices around him grew clearer, his recollections of the past few days returned. He looked toward the open window, and saw that night was about to fall. Feeling old, sore and battered, he struggled to his feet.
“How long have I been asleep?”
Izzy stood by a man La Roux did not recognize. She turned and greeted his question with a smile. “All day. Anyway, ya woke just in time. Josie just got here with the doctor,” she said as she gestured to the young, dark haired man at her side. “This is Dr. Harvey Malone from Fountainhead.”
The doctor nodded curtly in La Roux’s direction, but made no further efforts toward greetings. Instead, he headed straight to his patient, Callum.
La Roux moved to the young doctor’s side and watched as he began tending to his friend. First, the young physician unwrapped Callum’s hand and examined Izzy’s handy work. Even La Roux could see the maggots had done a good job at stemming the spread of the infection. The smell from the young Ranger’s injury was far less repellant than when Izzy had first tended the wound.
“Whose idea were the maggots?” Malone asked as he pressed his ear to Callum’s chest.
All the women, including Izzy, seemed unwilling to answer. Maybe they still feared being questioned by men.
“They were Izzy’s idea,” La Roux replied proudly. “She’s a smart one.”
The doctor looked up at the Cajun and nodded. “She is indeed. If not for these putrid larvae, he would most likely be dead. She saved his life, but he isn’t out of the woods yet.”
La Roux looked at Izzy and offered her a reassuring smile. She returned the smile, but still looked a little wary.
“As you may know, gangrene is more often than not fatal, but of late, there have been some remarkable advances in combating the infection.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a large syringe, which he quickly filled with clear liquid. He then began injecting the solution directly into Callum’s tattered wrist. “This is a bromide solution, which we will inject into the infected area for the next five hours. After that, we will use the solution to wash the wound. Don’t be worried if the solution sends the skin yellow, that’s normal. We will also keep the wound packed with maggots until the washing of the wound begins.”
“Will he make it?” La Roux asked weakly.
The doctor finished with the last of his injections and then looked up at the big Ranger. “I have no idea. He’s young, strong, and a Ranger; all these things are in his favor, but the infection is well advanced. Only time will tell.
“However, if the infection does abate, then I will reopen his wound and stitch it. The cauterizing stopped the bleeding, but it is far from a satisfactory seal. That is a long way down the track though. First, we make sure he’ll live. Everything else is secondary.”
La Roux nodded solemnly. “I know you’ll do all ya can.”
Malone smiled, got to his feet, and placed a hand on La Roux’s muscular arm. “On the way here Josie told me all that you and this young man have done for the women from the Maxwell camp. Everyone around these parts knew about that place, but they were too scared and ill armed to do anything about it. I give you my word, I will do everything in my power to save one of the men who saved these women. I’ll stay here ‘til I know for sure which way he’s going.”
La Roux felt tears filling his eyes. He had never before been so affected by a mission. Ranger’s died, people died, but he always managed to remain detached. This time, things were different. Sure, he had feelings for Izzy, but why did he care so much about what happened to Callum?
He looked down at the pale, young Ranger and cuffed his eyes. He then knew why he wanted Callum to live so much. Callum had known he was sick, but he did his duty anyway. Loyalty and strength like that deserved a reward. He deserved to fight another day, and La Roux would proudly fight at his side.
“Thanks, doc,” he said as he turned to leave the cabin.
At that moment, Josie entered. She looked at La Roux’s tear reddened eyes, and then at Callum. “Was I too late getting the doctor here?” she asked as she eyed La Roux nervously.
He patted her shoulder as he passed her. “No, ya did good, real good.”
* * *
La Roux sat on a rock some thirty yards from the cabin. He heard movement behind him, and he turned in time to see Izzy approaching. His feelings toward her were strong, and having her close only made things harder.
“What’s wrong, Pierre?” she asked as she settled beside him. La Roux stood and took several steps toward the dark tree line.
“Have I done something to upset you?” she asked. “If I have, then I’m sorry.”
La Roux’s head sunk and he let out a sigh. “No, Izzy, ya ain’t done nothing wrong. It’s me whose doing wrong.”
She got to her feet and moved close to him. He could feel the heat of her body through the thin, worn material of his shirt, which only made resisting her all the harder. He had to distance himself from her—both physically and emotionally—otherwise no good would come of what might happen next.
“What do ya mean?”
“I allowed myself to get too close to those who I was supposed to protect. Because of my uncontrolled feelings, I’ve compromised my decision making. I’m sorry, Izzy, but I can’t be alone with ya.”
“Why … why can’t ya?” She placed a hand on his chest and looked up into his world weary face. “I’m a grown woman, and I know ya want me.”
He stepped back and away from her touch. “What I want doesn’t matter. I’m a Ranger, and we have rules of conduct and I….”
“Rules of conduct?” Izzy interrupted as she looked up at him. “You and Callum have been gentlemen and honorable. Ya haven’t done anything wrong.”
The bright moonlight lit her face, making her look even more beautiful. He wanted her more than anything, but if he gave into his urge for physical intimacy, then all would be lost. While he was permitted sex, relationships were out of the question, and he knew the taste of her lips would undo him. If he made love to her, then he would have to leave the Corps. Not because of the act, but because he would not be able to control his love for her. No, he had to make sure things went no further.
“Izzy, Rangers ain’t allowed certain things, one of which is a wife. We live a dangerous life, and most of us wind up dead. Having someone back home ya love … well, it gets in the way of doing our job.
“Every time I’m close to ya, or you touch me, I start getting feelings that I just can’t allow. I know I’ve only known ya a short while, but I’m feeling things I haven’t felt in a long time. Things I thought were dead to me. Yer very special, and in another time and place, then maybe. But here and now, well, I
have
to remain a Ranger. What we do as Rangers is just too important for me to throw everything away just for a silly emotion.”
It was Izzy’s turn to step back. She looked shocked, but she had a slight smile on her face.
“Why are you smiling?” La Roux asked confusedly.
“I wasn’t sure before, but I am now. You feel the same way about me, as I do about you.”
“Yes, but I can’t, not if I want to stay a Ranger, which I do. I’m good at my job, and there is still so much that needs to be done. I can’t allow my own selfish feelings to jeopardize that.”
Izzy looked up at the moon and nodded. “I understand.”
“Do ya? Do ya realize this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done! I’m telling the woman I’m falling in love with, that I can’t be with her.”
She returned her gaze to his face, and it made him feel like he had just slapped her. She was crying.
“Nearly all my life men have treated me no better than dirt … then you and Callum showed up. Both of ya treated us like we mattered, like we were human.” La Roux went to speak, but Izzy held up her hand. “Let me finish. I see you Pierre. I see ya as the man you once were, the man you are, and the man ya will be. Yer good and kind, and ya care for those around ya. Do you know how rare that is in this new world of death and depravity? Well I do; and I love ya for it.
“I know how important being a Ranger is to you, and I would never want to jeopardize that—never! But I don’t want to be apart from ya either. I know we’ve only known each other a few days, and my women kin folk would say I’m mad, but I want to be with you. There must be a way … there must.”
“But don’t ya see, Izzy? You may just think ya love me because I freed you. You could be mistaking gratitude for love, and I would never want to take advantage of ya like that.”
She looked at him with eyes that blazed with both anger and resolve. “I know my own feelings, and I ain’t mistaking anything for anything. I love you ya damned fool, and I know that won’t change. Besides, it ain’t no one’s business, so who needs to know about how we feel about each other. We could just keep our feelings between us.
“I know yer allowed to bed women, so why not bed me?”
“If I ever laid down with ya, then I would never return to the Corps. I’m strong, but I wouldn’t ever be strong enough to leave you. Plus, I could never lie to the Corps, it would betray all that the Rangers stand for.”
“Then don’t lay with me. If I stayed close to you, but we never took that next step. What then?”
He took her hands in his. “Izzy, that would be like torture. Every time I see ya, I want to kiss and hold you.”
She pulled free of his grasp. “It would be hard, but the other option is worse. I could live with almost anything, but I don’t think I could live without seeing you.”
La Roux nodded. “I feel the same, but I’m gone for months on end. You’d hardly ever see me anyway.”
“What if I found work in the fort yer posted to? I could see ya on your return.”
“Well, yeah, you could do that….”
“Then it’s settled.”
La Roux held up his hands, gesturing for her to slow down. “Izzy, my unit gets moved around a lot. We’re based out of Fort Miles at the moment, but that could change. If it does, what then?”
“Simple. Where you go, I go.”
He shook his head again. “What about your family … your sister?”
“I’m sure my sister would come with me. After all, where’s safer than a Ranger’s fort? As for my cousins, they’ll do just fine without us.”
La Roux ran his massive hand over his face. He felt exhausted, and cornered. He had to admit, the thought of not seeing her again ripped him apart, but would the pain be less than seeing her and not touching her?
“Izzy, I still think it’s….”
“Pierre, can’t ya tell when a battle is lost? I feel safe knowing yer around, and I want that feeling for the rest of my life. If it means making sacrifices, then I’ll make sacrifices. Also, ya ain’t going to be a Ranger forever. When ya leave the Corps, I’ll be waiting.”
“That could be ten … maybe even fifteen years from now, and that’s if I make it.”
“You’ll make it, and I’ll be waiting.”
His hand went to her cheek and she closed her eyes at his touch. She smiled as he caressed her cheek, and he knew the battle was lost.
“Alright,” he said. “But I won’t hold ya to your promise. If you ever get sick of waiting, or ya meet someone….”
“I’m yours, no one else’s.”
“But if ya….”
“Pierre, stop it.”
“Is this how it’s going to be? Am I ever going to finish a sent…?”
“No, just do as yer told,” she said with a wry smile.
He laughed, and the booming sound made Izzy jump. “Fair enough,” he said as he wiped a tear from his eye. He then sniffed the air. “What’s that I smell?”
Izzy sniffed too. “Josie brought supplies back from Fountainhead with her. I’d say that’s bacon.” La Roux’s mouth began to visibly water. Izzy’s nose wrinkled at the sight. “Pierre, yer slavering like an old dog.”
He laughed again. “Are ya still sure you want to be around me?”
She laughed too, and replied. “All dogs can be trained … even old ones.”
With an understanding reached—albeit a strained and tenuous one—they both headed toward the smell of cooking bacon.
Callum’s eyes flickered open and he took a deep, sharp breath. His head felt like it had rocks in it, and he struggled to straighten out all the images bombarding him. He closed his eyes and saw his father laying stricken with the dreaded Lingering curse. He also saw old Jo being led away as one of the undead. Then images of himself cutting off his own hand swamped his mind. He gasped with shock at the final image, and tried to sit up, but he lacked even the strength to lift his head from the pillow.
“Steady, steady.”
The voice sounded familiar, so he slowly turned his head toward the voice. “Anderson, is that you?”
The Ranger’s young, kind visage came close to Callum’s face, and he smiled. “It’s good to have ya back among the living.”
Callum tried to lift himself up on his elbows, but failed. “Could you help?” he asked as he tried again.
Anderson leaned across Callum and lifted him under his arms. Soon, he found himself propped up on pillows as he inspected the room in which he lay. He appeared to be in a cabin, and as he looked down at his left wrist, he realized that not all the images that had harassed him had been just bad dreams. His hand was missing, and the stump was wrapped in a clean gauze bandage.
“Where am I?” Callum asked as he lifted his damaged wrist to his eyes.
“Do ya remember anything of your last mission?” Anderson asked as he pulled up a nearby stool and sat. “Do ya remember losing your hand?”
Callum stared at his bandaged wrist intently and murmured, “Vaguely.”
Anderson began to recount how they had found the dead and mutilated body of a woman, and of how he had escorted Tilly and the baby back to Fort Miles. He then told Callum of the mission, as it had been recounted to him by La Roux. When Anderson got to the bit about the fight in the hollow, everything came flooding back in a rush.
“I remember,” Callum said as he lowered his damaged arm back to the bed. “I led the Maxwell men away from the cave, then I headed to their camp to kill Jacob Maxwell. After that, everything is blank.”
“La Roux found ya passed out and at the mercy of Maxwell. He killed the old bastard, took care of the camp, and then brought ya here. That was ten days ago.”
“You mean I’ve been out for ten days?”
“Yep. In fact, yer lucky to be alive. If not for Izzy’s quick thinking, you’d most likely be dead.”
Callum looked around the cabin, but saw no signs of the place being occupied by anyone else but him. “Where is everyone?”
“Izzy sent her cousin Mary off on horseback to Fort Miles. She stumbled across me and Tilly along the way. We were still a good day from the fort on foot, so I asked Mary if I could take the horse, and I left her with Tilly and the babe.” Callum looked at him worriedly, and Anderson held up his hands in a supplicating manner. “Don’t panic, they’re safe. Before I left ‘em I gave ‘em all my weapons and told ‘em to stay put. Believe me that Mary knows how to look after herself.
“Anyway, as soon as I got back to fort, I rounded up a squad and headed straight back out. Along the way, I picked up Mary so she could guide us here, and I left a man to take Tilly back to the fort.”
Callum scratched at his wrist through the bandage and said, “That didn’t answer my question. Where is everyone?”
Anderson grinned. “As impatient as ever. By the way, that’s a good sign,” Anderson said as he pointed at Callum’s busy fingers. “Shows things are healing nicely.”
Callum glared at him. “Get on with it!”
Anderson got to his feet, and headed for a pot of coffee simmering on the stove. He poured a cup, then gestured to see if Callum wanted one. Callum shook his head and got the feeling Anderson was playing with him. Finally, the Ranger sat back down, sipped his coffee, and continued.
“All the women accept, Izzy, Mary and Josie have been taken back to the fort. Izzy and Mary went with La Roux and the rest of the squad. They’re hunting down the Maxwell stragglers. By all accounts, things are going well.
“Josie is out checking the snares, so she should be back soon with some nice fresh rabbits. After the doc left, I got the honor of playing sick-nurse to ya. Seems my previous medical training meant I was the ideal man to wipe your ass and change your dressings.”
“And I’ve been out cold for all that time?”
“Mostly. When I got here, you’d been out for about four days. You were out of the woods by then, but the delirium and hallucinations had set in. You screamed a lot.” Anderson shifted nervously on his seat. “A few days after the screaming, ya started talking in your sleep. You babbled for hours. You talked about the mill, and your pa. You talked about losing your dog, Hector. It was mighty grim stuff.”
Callum looked away from his colleague. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be stupid. If half of what you said was true, then ya went through a nightmare. To be honest, it explained a lot.”
Callum looked at him again. “What do ya mean?”
Anderson placed his coffee cup on the floor beside him, and then ran his hands through his hair. Callum could tell he was trying to figure out the best way of saying what he wanted to say.
“Just spit it out, Anderson. You ain’t going to hurt my feelings.”
Anderson clicked his fingers and pointed at him. “That’s exactly it! Yer hard, hard as nails, or at least ya act hard. Callum, yer a good man hiding behind a callous outer shell.”
“All Rangers are hard, and sometimes callous,” Callum said as he began to examine his injured wrist again. “Those things come with the territory.”
Anderson shook his head. “Not like you. Yer in a whole different field of toughness. Callum, ya cut your own God damned hand off, and still finished your mission! To do something like that, well, you must be able to switch something off inside your head. Christ, by comparison, you even make La Roux look like a Sunday school teacher.”
A Smile cracked Callum’s lean, gaunt face. “Why thanks.”
“I didn’t mean it as a compliment. Callum, you need to let people in.”
Callum looked at Anderson angrily. “I do what has to be done. That’s all.”
“You do, but you take too many risks. Risks that will get ya killed one day. Your past explains a lot about how yer able to do the things ya do. It explains your disconnect and why ya go it alone. Don’t get me wrong, Callum. When faced with a horde, it’s you and La Roux I want at my side, but I have to know you don’t have a death-wish.”
Callum swung his legs from the bed, and found he was completely naked. Unfazed, he held out an arm to Anderson. “Come on, make yourself useful … help me up.”
“What are you doing?” Anderson said as he pulled Callum to his feet.
“Just stretching my legs,” Callum replied as he took a couple of tentative steps. “To be honest, Jack, before this mission I liked being cold inside. It made me steel against wood, fire against ice. But the events up in these here mountains have made me rethink the way I am.” Callum pulled his arm free of Anderson, and took a few steps more. “Izzy, Mary, and all the other women from the Maxwell camp have suffered far worse than me, but they still act like humans. I don’t think I’ll ever be the warmest of people, but I will try to be more like those around me. I don’t want to die, but I didn’t particularly want to live either.”
“What about the undead?” Anderson asked as he shadowed Callum around the room.
Callum stopped and turned to the Ranger. “The undead should be dead, and I will do my darndest to see as many of them beneath the ground as I can. Nothing about how I feel toward them has changed.” Callum looked to the window and stared out at the magnificence of the woods surrounding the cabin. “I was there at the outbreak, and I’ll be there at the end. Those things have taken everything from me, and I need to make them pay for it.” He looked back at Anderson. “My pa….” His voice cracked, but he cleared his throat and pushed on. “My pa died trying to get to my ma and sister. He died doing the right thing. I owe it to him … to them, to do as much myself. I won’t let their deaths be for naught. In their names, I go on, and I won’t stop ‘til I’m dead and buried myself.”
Callum began to waver on his feet. Anderson gently took his arm, and softly said, “Sounds fair enough to me. Just remember, yer not alone anymore, ya have the Corps. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”
Callum huffed, and said, “The Corps won’t want a one handed Ranger.”
“They do, thanks to La Roux. They sent out your discharge papers, but La Roux tore ‘em up. He’s arranged for you to go through basic again. If you pass everything they throw at ya, then they’ll let you stay.”
Callum stopped his slow shuffle back to the bed, and looked Anderson in the eye. “How did he manage that?”
Anderson shrugged. “He knows someone high up, he won’t say who, but he pulled strings. Anyway, it’s a done deal. You just need to regain your strength, then retake basic. You could be back with me and La Roux in six months.”
“Well I’ll be damned.” Callum said as he stopped and allowed a real smile to light his face.
From behind them, they heard a scream, then laughter. They turned to see Josie holding a brace of rabbits in her hand. She was staring at Callum’s scarred and naked body with more than a little amusement.
“You ain’t shy, are ya,” she said between her guffaws of laughter. “Mind, ain’t nothing I ain’t seen before.”
Anderson reached for the table and grabbed up his hat. He gave it to Callum, who quickly used it to cover his manhood. “Sorry, ma’am,” Callum said with a grin.
Josie waved his apology off and said, “Good to see ya up and about. Fancy a bite to eat?”
Callum nodded as he slipped back beneath the covers. “Yes, ma’am, I believe I could handle a little rabbit stew.”