The Lives Between Us (34 page)

“And life was great for two terrific years, until he died. We’d had an argument, like you and Mark. I ran off, he chased, and was killed saving my life.”

“How?” Skye whispered in horrified fascination.

“He was hit by a car. A car came up behind us and would have run me over if Gabe hadn’t pushed me off my bike.”

“Oh, my God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” Skye felt small and selfish. Jenny was always so confident and happy; she’d never suspected she had a tragic past. Respect for her friend soared.

“It’s not a secret, it’s just my past.” Jenny sighed. “And as painful as it was, I wouldn’t have changed a thing. It’s like that Garth Brooks song. You could change events to avoid emotional pain—like if I’d never married Gabe, I wouldn’t have been devastated when he died. But I also wouldn’t have had those great experiences with him.” Jenny’s voice softened with emotion. “I wouldn’t have grown close to his children. And I might never have met Steve.

“If you stop to think about it, I suspect you’ve got a lot of wonderful memories with your niece. I’m sure that relationship taught you some great things, if you take the time to appreciate them. Just because it hurts now, doesn’t mean her whole nine years was a waste. You have to find the good and cherish it. My life is so much richer for having loved Gabe.”

They sat in silence while Skye considered Jenny’s story. She raised her eyes to Jenny. “But would you set yourself up for that if you knew what was coming? Would you
choose
it?”

“If I knew that we’d only have two awesome years together before Gabe died, would I still have married him?”

Skye nodded.

Jenny paused, giving the question serious consideration. “Absolutely.”

At the red traffic light, Mark pushed back his sleeve and looked at his glowing watch. Ten o’clock. After Skye left, he’d walked the hospital stairs to blow off a little steam, then sat with Noelle and Ed before going home. He was
not
chasing Skye. This time he hadn’t done anything wrong. Maybe it’s time for a break. Mark drove through the green light.

Why had Skye bolted? At the black tie dinner when the spotlight landed on her, he’d publically embarrassed her, so he understood her running then, but tonight there was no reason they couldn’t have sat down and discussed it like rational adults.

Despite his irritation over the whole stupid fight, her running worried Mark—and that annoyed him, too. What? Was he a glutton for punishment? He should cut her loose and move on. There were plenty of other women—women without crazy fears, who didn’t cut and run at the first hint of trouble.

Mark parked his car and went into the house. He tripped over scrambling puppies as he made his way to the answering machine. His heart quickened at the blinking red number two indicating he had two messages. Punching the black NEW MESSAGE button, he braced himself. The first was a message from his Allstate agent reminding him that they needed to meet. Then his secretary’s nasally voice informed him that his morning appointment with Scott Wright had been rescheduled. Mark crossed his legs and leaned against the kitchen counter. Now what?

Things were constantly going wrong between him and Skye. First the fiasco when she found out he and Ed were friends, and now this. Throughout the worst of his illness, Mark had fantasized about what his perfect life would look like.

It’d included a loving wife and happy kids. He’d concentrated on the love radiating from his happy family relationships. Not his parents and siblings but something closer, his soul mate and his own child. He’d dreamt of a wife and child of his own who cared passionately whether he lived or died.

Mark had imagined their affection surrounding him in a warm cocoon, loving and strengthening his body, helping him endure the nausea and pain of his treatments. Those dreams saved his life, yet he’d never found the right woman. Either they were too easy, too clingy, too ambitious, or too…something. The hours spent in the NICU with Skye and the babies reminded him of that old dream. Skye might care, but she was a quitter and a high-strung pain in the ass.

Sighing, Mark gave into the yipping and scraping at his ankles and sank to the floor.

“Serena needs to either find you forever homes or quit traveling. Yes, she does.” The two remaining puppies whined and licked his hands, vying for attention as they scrambled into his lap. Mark’s hands roamed their fluffy backs and ruffled soft ears, soothing them.

He picked up the runt, bringing her eye-level. The female lunged forward, her tongue whipping out to lick his nose.

Mark sighed. “You should have seen the look in her eyes. What’d she think? I was gonna keel over any second?” He shook his head. “I will
never
understand women.”

His dad didn’t have this much trouble with Mom. Sure, he’d found Dad sleeping on the couch a time or two, but never more than one night. And Mom hadn’t been crazy about moving to Singapore for a year.

She had a busy life here. Friends, family, her charities, he and Serena, but once she realized how important it was to Dad, she’d adopted the attitude that it’d be a grand adventure. They argued a bit before she’d come around, but they worked it out. Marriage was hard. It required a lot of work and compromise, but maybe some people were just too damaged to do the work.

He lowered the puppy and cuddled her close to his chest. Mark fed the pups and let them outside before crating them and locking up the house. After a long, hot shower, he climbed into bed and turned the TV on to watch the news.

Mark had just drifted off into a deep sleep when the ringing cell phone woke him. He squinted at the blue letters glowing at him. “‘Lo.”

“Mark? Were you sleeping?” Skye’s voice was soft and hesitant. “I’m sorry, go back to bed. We can talk tomorrow.”

Mark glanced at the clock; it was only eleven-thirty. He reached for the controls and clicked off the TV. “It’s okay. Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

Still fuzzy from sleep, he didn’t say anything.

“I shouldn’t have run.”

“No, you shouldn’t have.”

“I’m sorry. I was just so shocked. I... You’re not mad?”

“Of course I’m mad.” He plopped back against the warm pillow.

“You have every right to be.”

“Thanks.”

Skye sighed loudly into the phone, and he imagined her shoving her bangs away from her face as she did when annoyed. “I overreacted. I’m sorry.”

His anger ebbed. It took a confident person to admit they were wrong. Maybe there was hope. “I’m fine.”

“I know.”

“You have to trust me.”

“I know. But—”

“No buts.” He shifted the phone to his other ear. “Look, I didn’t try to hide anything from you—I just didn’t think of it.”

“I know,” she said softly.

Mark raised his eyebrows. She’d done a quick one-eighty. “Really?”

“Uh-huh. I’m still worried, but…” Her voice quieted to almost a whisper. “I’ll deal with it.”

You shouldn’t be
. Mark forced the thought aside. “Anything I can do?”

“No. I’m the screwed up one.”

“You are.”

She chuckled. “You’re not supposed to agree with me.”

“I don’t lie.”

“Soooo... You forgive me?”

Mark didn’t answer right away. He didn’t want to be in a relationship with a quitter and a woman he couldn’t trust to be there through the good and the bad. But she’s willing to do the work.

“I forgave you,” Skye gently reminded.

And he’d deliberately concealed the truth from her that time. Inadvertently Mark set a precedent for her mistrust. “Yeah, you did. You made me work for it.”

“But I forgave you.”

“Okay. I forgive you.” He yawned.

“Thank you.”

He suddenly remembered the discarded toothbrush. “Skye?”

“Yeah.”

“Were you planning on sleeping over tonight?”

“Maybe.”

“I’ll buy you another toothbrush.”

“Goodnight.”

* * *

Edward drove by the front of the hospital, slowing as a crowd of about twenty gathered to the side of the main entrance. They stood in front of Noelle’s growing flowerbed, dark bundled forms with lighted candles that glowed softly in the night cradled between mittened hands. Puffs of vapor blew from their mouths and rose in the cold night air, carrying messages straight to God.

Edward rolled down the passenger window as the car crept by. “Our Father, full of Grace, the Lord be with you...” A vigil. They prayed for Noelle. The old Edward would’ve joined them and then warmly thanked them for their time and much needed prayers. That’s what Ben would expect him to do, what was the right thing to do. He pressed the accelerator and quickly turned the corner to park in the back of the doctor’s parking lot. This latest disappointment was like a blow to the chest that left him raw and bleeding.

Even if Edward could summon the energy to be with them in prayer, having to force his face into a semblance of a smile and utter words of thanks for their generosity was beyond him. Having to accept their good wishes would destroy the little composure he had. He’d shatter into a million pieces and never be able to pull it together again.

Edward ducked his head and hurried through the parking lot to the service door. Safely ensconced in the uncomfortable vinyl chair next to Noelle’s bed, Edward sat still praying, trying to absorb the disappointment that she was nowhere near being able to be weaned from that damn machine. He felt sucker punched. The treatment made so much sense. It’d save Noelle; they couldn't exclude her.

The next morning, Edward worked in his makeshift office next to Noelle’s room, checking in on her every so often when he needed a break. It was afternoon before he had a chance to speak to her. Edward walked into her room and watched Noelle sleep.

Earlier, he’d avoided looking his wife in the eye, knowing she’d read his irritation and be crushed. Noelle didn’t deserve his anger, yet with all that had happened in the past two and a half weeks, he was ready to explode in fury and frustration.

“Edward?” Ben popped his head around the doorframe.

“Come on in.”

Ben moved into the room and stood near the foot of Noelle’s bed. He glanced at her and lowered his voice just above a whisper. “How’s she doing?”

“She had a rough night. They spent most of the night suctioning junk from her lungs, but she’s sleeping now.” Edward stood and moved forward. “What’s up?”

Ben gestured toward the door. “Can I talk to you?”

Edward’s cell phone vibrated as he moved into the hall. “Excuse me, I need to get this. Hello, Joseph.”

“Edward, is Jeff there?” His father-in-law asked.

“No.” Edward looked at his watch. “Isn’t he with Chris?”

“His tutor’s here, but Jeff’s not.” Frustration roughened Joseph’s tone. “His bike’s missing.”

“Not again.” The first time Jeff rode his bike the five miles to the hospital, Edward had been worried, but now exasperation replaced the concern. On top of all the other problems, he didn’t need this.

“Said he was going to the library to pick up a book, but that was an hour and a half ago.” Joseph sighed. “I’ll get in the car and see if I can find him.”

“I’ll call when he shows up.” This time Edward was going to lock up the bike. By the time Jeff figured out how to pick the lock, Noelle would be moved to rehab—far enough away that Jeff wouldn’t consider riding his bike there.

“Sorry.”

Ordinarily Edward would relish his father-in-law’s discomfort and difficulty in keeping track of Jeff, but now was no time to gloat. He needed and counted on Joseph’s support.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it.” Edward sighed and tapped his phone shut.

“Problem?” Ben asked.

“Jeff cut out on his tutor again and is probably on his way here.”

“Poor kid. He misses his mom.”

Don’t we all
? “Yeah, well cutting tutoring and worrying his grandfather and me isn’t helping.” Edward sighed heavily. “I didn’t mean it like it sounded. It’s just...” He ran a hand through his hair. “God, all I do is yell at him lately.”

“You? You’re the most patient person I know.”

“Yeah, well... Not these days. Especially with Jeff.”

Fifteen years ago they’d worked so hard to keep Noelle from miscarrying. She’d spent months on her back, had her cervix sewn closed, and took medicine to carry him to term. Jeff had been so loved and wanted. Somehow with such a difficult start, Edward expected the rest to be a whole lot easier. But it wasn’t. Jeff wasn’t an easy kid, and Edward was no damned good at dealing with him.

But Noelle was. She had infinite patience and would know exactly what to do and say to get through to Jeff, but now she couldn’t help. Besides, he didn’t want to worry her with this. Noelle’s attitude was everything.

With depression being a natural reaction and an ongoing concern for spinal cord injury patients, Noelle did not need more troubles to discourage her. Unfortunately, he’d failed to hide his problems with Jeff, and now she was angry with him. When he tried to reason with her, she shut her eyes and turned her head away. He couldn’t do anything right.

“I’ll figure something out.” He looked at Ben. “So. What’s up?” Surely Ben had an easier issue—something he could solve, like war or global warming.

“I know you said no publicity, but your continued silence is just fueling people’s curiosity about Noelle. As your adviser, I think you should consider making regular press releases on her condition or consider doing a few interviews—maybe a spot with Matt Lauer.”

Edward scowled and clamped his jaw tightly shut. “No.”

“I really think constant mini-bites would desensitize the public to her condition—”

“No. Anything else?”

Ben sighed and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. Frowning, he avoided looking Edward in the eye. “I don’t want to sound insensitive, but we’re running out of time. We’ve got to get back to DC.”

“I know.”

“What’re you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Since Noelle still needs the vent, Dr. Abad refused to even consider including her in the Israel trials.”