The Loner (32 page)

“How about sitting on my lap facing me?”

It was impossible not to notice the absence of an erection. “Will I be too heavy for you?” she asked, glancing at his legs.

“I’ll be fine.” When she hesitated, he said in a low, husky voice, “Come here, Emma. I want to kiss you.”

That invitation got the desired response. She was on his lap lickety-split, her arms around his neck, her naked breasts pressed against his powerful chest, her lips pressed to his for the promised kiss. There was a little more of her between them than there had been a month ago. She was six months pregnant.

She loved kissing Sam. He put a lot into his kisses, languorous kisses, ravishing kisses, tender kisses, savage kisses. She hadn’t known there were so many ways that mouths could meet and emotions be shared.

His hands traversed every part of her, face, throat, shoulders, breasts. So far all their loving had been done above the waist—with the exception of the adoring attention her growing belly had received.

They leaned their foreheads together so they could both watch as Sam shaped her rounded belly with his large, callused hands. His hands revered her, honored her, enjoyed her.

He leaned back and looked into her eyes and said, “Emma, have you ever had oral sex?”

Emma tried not to look shocked. She’d heard about it. Giggled about it in high school. But she didn’t know anyone who’d actually done it. She cleared her throat and said, “No.”

“Does the idea of oral sex upset you or disgust you?”

“I’m… not exactly sure what all is involved,” she admitted.

“It would involve me kissing you here.” Sam slid a hand across her belly and down between her thighs.

Emma jumped a little when Sam’s hand closed over her, because he’d never touched her there before. “Why would you want to do that?” she asked, aware of a rising tension between her legs where he was touching her.

“Because it would bring you pleasure,” he said. “And I would enjoy it.”

Emma wasn’t sure she believed him. That part of her body had always been taboo, and she couldn’t imagine what Sam would find enjoyable about kissing her down there.

“Would you like to try it and see if you like it?” Sam asked.

Emma suddenly realized, without Sam saying it, that plain old ordinary sex, the “Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am!” kind of sex she’d experienced, was apparently not possible. Sam was offering her the only kind of sex he was able to share with her. If she refused, their intimacy would be confined to kisses and touches. Sam was saying there was more they could have together, more they could do, an act that would bring her pleasure and him enjoyment.

She’d be a fool to say no.

But Emma couldn’t help being a little daunted. “You’ll stop if I don’t like it?”

Sam nodded. “Just say the word.”

“All right,” Emma said. “What do you want me to do?”

“Right now, let’s just lie down together and hold each other.”

Emma was grateful for the offer of something so easy to do, something she’d wanted to do for a long time. They both pulled the pillows from behind Sam, leaving one for each of them to lay their heads on as they turned to embrace one another on the bed.

Holding led to caressing. Emma’s hands roamed Sam’s body, wanting to bring him pleasure. “What can you feel?” she asked. “Where can you feel?”

Sam took her hand and lowered her fingertips to a spot just at his waist. “Here,” he said, “I have feeling. Below this point, there’s nothing.”

“So you can feel this,” Emma said as she kissed his shoulder.

“Uh-huh.”

“And this,” she said as she lowered her mouth to his nipple.

“Uh-huh.”

“And this,” she said, as she laved his nipple with her tongue and then bit gently.

Sam moaned.

“I guess you can,” Emma said, a grin widening on her face. She made Sam lie still while she kissed the front of him, then made him turn over, so she could press angel kisses down his spine from the soft down at his nape to
the dimples above his buttocks, where he couldn’t feel them anymore.

“My turn,” he said.

Emma took one look at her belly and laughed. “I haven’t been lying on my stomach much lately.”

“Then lie on your back,” Sam said. He braced his arms on either side of her and kissed his way down to her belly, sliding slowly down the bed, stopping at all the interesting places he found along the way.

Emma couldn’t help tensing as his head moved downward. He lifted her legs and slid them over his shoulders and she felt his silky hair against her thighs. She froze as his mouth touched her, and gasped as his lips and tongue sucked and darted and lapped, until the pleasure was almost unbearable. Emma arched upward, her body bowed by the strength of her response, no longer embarrassed by what he was doing, or the groans and moans he elicited from her, because he made it feel right and good.

“Sam!” she cried, grabbing at his hair.

He met her gaze and said, “Do you want me to stop?”

She shook her head vigorously. “God, no. It feels so good, I can’t… I want…”

But by then he was kissing her again, making her pulse race and her thighs clench and her body ache. Her hands tightened on his hair and she held on, her body bucking upward as he held her hips in his hands and made love to her, giving her pleasure beyond anything she had imagined possible.

“Don’t!” she cried suddenly. “Stop! I can’t—I—” She was in the grip of something larger than herself, her body trembling and aching and finally erupting with
sensations so powerful she cried out with pleasure and with pain.

She lay against the pillow, her chest heaving, her mind dazed, her body drained. She felt the mattress sink as Sam pulled his body up the bed until he lay with his head beside her.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“No,” she said, tears blurring her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, pulling her into his arms. “I’m so sorry, Emma. I didn’t mean—I would never want—”

“Shut up, you stupid idiot,” she said as she pressed her nose against his throat. “That was the most beautiful, most wonderful, most amazing thing that’s ever happened to me. I had sex for the first time and made a baby and it was awful. Painful and awkward and humiliating. With you… Sam, with you it was so different. I felt treasured and loved and there was so much… pleasure.”

Sam brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her nose and then her lips. “I’m sorry your first time wasn’t good for you, Emma. But honestly, it’s often painful the first time. I want you to marry me, Emma. I want you to be my wife. But you should know that sex is a big part of marriage. I can’t give you more than what we just had.”

Emma kissed his lips again, tasting herself there, and looked into Sam’s eyes. “I love you, Sam. Even if we didn’t have this, I’d love you. But this is… so wonderful,” she said with a laugh. “I don’t know what you were so worried about.”

Sam grinned. “I can’t imagine.”

“When are you going to make an honest woman out of me?” Emma asked.

“What?”

Emma arched a brow. “Or maybe now you’re thinking ‘Why buy the cow when the milk’s free?’ “

Sam laughed and said, “Emma Coburn, will you marry me?”

She looked into his warm brown eyes and said, “Yes, Sam. I would love to be your wife.”

“Good. As soon as—”

The knock on the door surprised them. They didn’t get many visitors and none in the middle of the afternoon. Emma scrambled out of bed and grabbed for the clothes she’d left folded on a nearby willow rocker. Sam made it back into his wheelchair just fine, but he hadn’t brought any clothes with him into Emma’s bedroom.

“Hellfire and damnation,” he muttered.

“Hello! Anybody home?”

Sam grinned. “That’s my brother Luke! He’s home from Africa!” He grabbed the sheet from the bed to hide his shriveled legs and said, “Take your time getting dressed, then come and meet us in the kitchen.”

Emma stood with her bra in her hand and stared at the closed door. Dear God. She’d hoped she’d be married to Sam before Luke got back. Because he was going to take one look at her and realize there had been repercussions to their brief interlude six months ago.

She’d loved Luke since she was twelve, but he’d never looked twice at her. Until that fateful night, when they’d both been a little drunk.

Luke had realized too late she was a virgin, but her hymen had been intact and there’d been some blood and there’d been no denying it when he’d confronted her. He’d been angry at her for not telling him. Angry that
she’d let him make love to her for the first time in the front seat of a pickup. Angry that he’d let himself make love to her when what he’d really wanted was another woman, the girl he’d dated all through high school. The girl whose engagement party they were both attending.

Her first sexual experience had been exactly the way she’d described it to Sam. Painful and awkward and humiliating. But what they’d done had started a child in her. And however much she wished it wasn’t true, Sam’s brother was the father of her baby.

“I’m not dressed,” Sam called to Luke. “Come on in and make yourself at home.”

Sam should have realized Luke wouldn’t wait in the kitchen. A moment later his younger brother sauntered into Sam’s bedroom, looking fit and tanned. He was taller than Sam had been at the same age, and a lot more lanky, with dark brown hair and gray-green eyes that were old beyond his twenty years.

“What are you doing in your skivvies in the middle of the afternoon?” Luke asked. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’d been enjoying a little—”

Sam couldn’t help the flush. He kept right on dressing as Luke walked up and stood in front of him.

“Talk about a wolf in sheep’s clothing,” Luke said with a grin. “You’ve got a girl here somewhere, haven’t you?”

With his jeans on, Sam didn’t feel quite so exposed. He pulled a T-shirt over his head and said, “Not just a girl. The girl I’m going to marry.”

Luke whistled and clapped. “Hallelujah and hosanna!
My big brother is in love. Who’s the lucky girl? Anyone I know?”

“I’m the one who’s lucky,” Sam said. “And it’s definitely someone you know.”

“Don’t tell me. Let me guess.” Luke named four girls in quick succession who’d all had crushes on Sam when he’d played football in high school.

“Nope. I’ll give you a hint,” Sam said. “Once upon a time she was skinny as a bed slat.”

Luke frowned. “Hell if I can remember anyone who—”

“Bright red hair.”

Luke slapped his forehead. “Emma Coburn!” He stared hard at Sam and said, “Emma Coburn? How did you two meet?”

“She’s been cooking and cleaning for me for the past month or so since Blackjack moved in with Mom.”

Luke scowled. “I couldn’t believe it when you wrote me what was going on with the two of them. That sonofabitch is right where he deserves to be now that he’s in jail. How’s Mom taking it?”

“She’s pretty broken up. She doesn’t believe he’s guilty.”

“She wouldn’t,” Luke said disgustedly. “When are you and Emma getting married?”

“As soon as we can get the church reserved.” He hesitated, then said, “She’s pregnant.”

Luke’s jaw dropped. “Wonders never cease.” He crossed and picked up Sam’s hand and gripped it hard. “I thought… I mean, I figured you couldn’t… I mean, the doctors said you couldn’t…”

Sam pulled his hand free. “I wish—”

At that instant Emma knocked on the door and said, “Are you two coming out of there anytime soon?”

Before Sam could stop him, Luke hurried to the door and pulled it open. He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Emma’s belly.

Sam watched Emma’s face bleach white as she met Luke’s gaze.

Luke’s head swung around to Sam. “I thought you said she’d only been working for you a month. She’s got to be—”

“She’s six months pregnant,” Sam confirmed. “I was trying to tell you. The baby isn’t mine. It’s—”

“Mine,” Luke said in a harsh voice. He turned back to Emma and said, “Isn’t that right, Emma? That baby is
mine!”

Sam’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe more than one. He was staring at Emma, expecting her to deny it. Needing her to deny it. But she wouldn’t look at him. Her eyes were lowered to her hands, which protectively surrounded her belly.

Sam wheeled his chair over to the door, forcing himself between Luke and Emma. “Is that true, Emma? Is Luke the father?”

“Yes.”

Her voice was so soft he barely heard the word, but it shattered his world. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He saw the desolation in her eyes, but the pain he felt in his own chest was excruciating. How could he marry her now? The answer was he couldn’t. She was pregnant with his brother’s child, for God’s sake!

A tear dripped off her chin and fell onto her blouse.

“What am I supposed to do with you?” Sam said, rubbing angrily at his stinging eyes.

“Couldn’t we go on the way we were?” Emma said.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I couldn’t stand to look at you.”

He saw Emma cringe and knew she’d misunderstood him. She thought he hated her, when the exact opposite was true. He couldn’t bear to look at her because it would tear his guts out. And he sure as hell couldn’t marry her. Not now.

“You and Luke should marry,” he said. “I’ll make the arrangements as soon as possible.”

Luke looked at him, startled. “I’m not in love with Emma,” he said. “And if she was going to marry you—”

“You’re the father of her child. You’ll do the right thing and give that child your name, or you’re no brother of mine!”

“What about Emma?” Luke countered. “What if she doesn’t want to marry me?”

“Emma’s child needs a father, and you’re it,” Sam said implacably.

“Emma, say something!” Luke shouted.

Sam’s fist connected with Luke’s solar plexus with a satisfying
thwack
. “Don’t shout at her. She’s in a delicate condition.”

Luke massaged his belly with his hand and glared at Sam. “You’re plumb crazy.”

“Crazy or not,” Sam said, “as soon as the church is available, you’re marrying Emma Coburn.”

S
UMMER COULD FEEL THE NOOSE TIGHTENING
around her father’s throat as though it were choking her. Her mother had done her work well, and it was beginning to look like there was no way to prove his innocence. Uncle Harry was the last hope they had of discovering information that might clear her father.