The Lopsided Christmas Cake (17 page)

Glancing at the audience, Thelma’s throat constricted. So many people, and they were all watching her and Elma. She didn’t realize being the center of attention would make her this nervous. Averting her gaze, she hurriedly mixed the flour and other dry ingredients. In the process, Thelma ended up with a puff of white on her dress, and some settled on her arm. Brushing it away, she looked at the snickering audience again. All eyes seemed to be focused on them.

“Be careful, Sister,” Elma warned. “You’re getting flour all over the place. By the way, you need to add the eggs and milk.”

“I—I know. I feel like I’m all thumbs right now,” Thelma muttered under her breath.

“It’s okay. It’s okay. Try to stay calm,” Elma whispered. But her words were not reassuring.

Thelma frantically grabbed more flour and dumped it into the bowl.

“Sister, you’re not making bread.”

Thelma snickered. She didn’t know what else to do.

Then, in her nervous state, she managed to spill what was left in the bag of flour onto the floor. “Oh no!”

At the same time, the twins leaned down to reach for an egg and bumped heads. When they stood, they rubbed the spots of impact simultaneously. Another round of chuckles came from the crowd, making Thelma even more nervous.

With shaky fingers, she managed to crack the eggs into the bowl, but the shells fell in as well. “Oh, my word!” Thelma’s cheeks felt like they were on fire as she hastily picked out the pieces. This was not going well. She could only imagine what people must be thinking.
They probably think we’re a couple of bumbling
dummkepp
who don’t know a thing about baking a cake.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” the host of the show asked.

As Thelma shook her head, Elma rolled her eyes.

“Pour the milk,” Elma said impatiently, nudging Thelma’s arm.

“I will. Don’t rush me.” Thelma picked up the carton of milk, but her hands shook so badly, she ended up pouring all of it into the bowl.

“Oh no, that’s too much.” Elma handed Thelma the microphone and grabbed the wire whisk. “Let me take over now.”

“I don’t see how you’re gonna fix that mess, Sister,” Thelma said, her mouth too close to the mic. Her eyes widened, and the audience roared.

When Elma stirred the batter, a glob splattered up and stuck to the end of her nose.

Thelma’s chuckle resonated through the microphone, as she pointed at Elma. Despite their best efforts, this was turning into an unrehearsed skit.

“I know that young woman—or at least one of them,” Delbert said, bumping Joseph with his elbow.

Joseph’s forehead wrinkled. “I know one of ’em, too. Well, maybe not
know,
but I did meet her at the hardware store in Topeka a few weeks ago.”

“I met one of the twins at the hardware store here in Shipshe.” Delbert rubbed his chin. “Didn’t realize there were two of them, though. Thought I was seein’ one woman in two places.”

“They must be identical, because they sure look alike.” Joseph leaned forward in his chair. “I’m tryin’ to figure out which one of ’em I saw in Topeka.”

“They’re sure funny.” Delbert chuckled when the twin wearing the green dress stuck her hand in the bowl to fish out the spoon her sister had dropped. “I wonder if they’re really that clumsy or just puttin’ on an act to get the spectators enthused so they’ll make a high bid on their cake.”

“I don’t know.” Joseph leaned close to Delbert’s ear. “I really want that cake.”

Delbert looked at Joseph as though he had two heads. “You haven’t even seen it yet.”

“I know, but I want to meet that young woman.”

“Which one?”

“The one who’s holding the microphone now. Don’t know why, but the more I watch her, the more I’m thinkin’ she’s the woman I met in Topeka.”

“Oh, boy.” Delbert grunted. “What are we dealin’ with here—love at first sight?”

Joseph shook his head. “I’d like the chance to get to know her, and that won’t happen unless I get the cake.” The determined set of his friend’s jaw told Delbert that Joseph was serious about this.

“After the cooking show’s over, go on up and talk to her, Joe.”

Joseph slunk down in his chair. “I can’t do that, Dell. She’d think I was too bold. But if I bid on her cake and win, I’ll have a reason to speak with her when I get the cake.”

Delbert shrugged. “Suit yourself. If you want the cake, go ahead and bid. But if I were you, I’d at least wait till they show the audience what the finished cake looks like. You might not even want it.”

“But if I do, would you bid on it for me?”

Delbert’s eyebrows rose. “Why would I bid on it? You’re the one who wants it.”

“I—I know, but if I try to call out a bid, I’ll get tongue-tied and start stuttering.”

“Here’s what I’ve got to say about that. If you really want to meet the girl, then you’ll call out the bid, even if you have to trip over your own tongue.”

Joseph kept his gaze straight ahead. He’d wait until he saw the finished cake and then try to persuade his friend to do the bidding. After all, Dell had told him several times that he’d do almost anything for him.

T
he cake pans were finally in the oven, and it was time for Thelma to remove the cake they had brought from its container. Placing it on the table, she faced the audience, removed the lid, and lifted the cake plate out. “Oh no,” she murmured, staring in disbelief. Their cake was even more lopsided than it had been last night. The trip to Shipshewana, with Rusty acting up, had obviously not helped.

Thelma looked at Elma, who was clearly upset. “What happened to our cake?” Elma whispered, giving her a sidelong glance. “It looks
baremlich.
”

Thelma couldn’t argue with that; the cake did look terrible. Not only was the top lopsided, but the frosting barely covered the sides. What icing was left on the cake seemed to have accumulated on the plate, around the base. The cake must not have been cool enough, which had caused the frosting to run.
No one will ever bid on this now. We ought to leave the stage,
Thelma thought.
I’ll explain things later,
she mouthed to Elma.

A middle-aged English man approached the stage with some paperwork. He talked to the woman in charge, and when they parted, he grabbed the microphone.

“All right, now, who’ll start the bidding with five dollars?” he shouted.

Thelma gulped, feeling trapped by the audience. There was no way they could leave the stage—at least not until they’d become thoroughly embarrassed, because she was certain no one would place even one bid on this pitiful cake.
I should have listened to my sister and gotten out of this event.

Joseph leaned over and whispered something.

“What was that, Joe?” Delbert asked.

Joseph’s ears turned pink, like they always did when he was embarrassed. “I need you to bid on the cake for me.”

Delbert frowned. “Why would you want a lopsided cake?”

“It’s for a good cause, and I want to meet that girl. Come on, Dell. I’ll give you the money for it.”

“Okay, but you’re gonna owe me for this.” Delbert lifted his hand. “Five dollars!”

“I’ll make it ten!”

Delbert looked at Joseph, and they both looked around the room. Where had that deep voice come from, upping the bid?

“Fifteen,” Joseph whispered. “Hurry, Dell, do it now.”

“Fifteen dollars!” Delbert shouted. Looking at Joseph, he chuckled. “Think I’m getting into this bidding game, especially since I’m spending your money.”

“Twenty!” the other bidder hollered.

Delbert looked at his buddy again, and when Joseph nodded, Delbert raised his hand and upped the bid—this time for thirty dollars.

Excitement wafted over the crowd. Some people even clapped.

“Fifty dollars!” the other man shouted, a little louder this time. Was there no stopping this fellow? Why was he so desperate to have a pathetic-looking cake?

“Go higher,” Joseph prompted, bumping Delbert’s arm. “Take it up to sixty.”

Delbert raised his hand again. “Sixty dollars!”

“Seventy!”

Joseph, rocking back and forth in his chair, looked almost desperate. “Go to eighty. I—I want that c–cake.” He wiped his sweaty forehead. The poor guy had started stuttering. Delbert knew he’d better get that cake, no matter what it cost. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted, “Eighty dollars!”

By this time, the audience was in an uproar. Some people stood, and even more applauded. Delbert and Joseph kept their eyes on the auctioneer.

“Eighty dollars once… Eighty dollars twice… Do we have another bid on this unusual cake?”

Delbert watched the two women onstage, holding the cake with quizzical expressions. They were probably as surprised as the audience that two men were bidding on their crazy-looking dessert.

“I’ll make it ninety!” the other bidder bellowed.

The crowd whooped and hollered even louder. Several started shouting, “Higher! Higher! Higher!”

Delbert looked at Joseph. “Now what?” He glanced around, trying to see who was bidding against him, but it was so crowded, he couldn’t tell.

“Go again, Dell. Make it one hundred.” Joseph pointed his finger toward the ceiling. “Raise the bid. Hurry, please.”

Delbert’s hand shot up. “One hundred dollars!”

“One hundred going once… One hundred going twice…”

Delbert held his breath, waiting to see if the deep voice would speak again and outbid him, but all was quiet.

“Sold—to the man wearing a blue shirt in the fourth row!”

“Th–that’s you,” Joseph said a bit too loud, jumping up. “You won the cake!”

The audience clapped again. Those folks closest to Delbert congratulated him. Someone patted his shoulder. Joseph slunk down in his seat. The auctioneer slowly shook his head. Delbert was glad it was over.

Now a part of the audience again, Elma sat next to her sister, watching the rest of the contestants. After each demonstration and bidding was completed, she was surprised to see that, so far, their cake had brought in the most money.

Glancing around the crowd then settling her gaze a few rows back on the Amish man who’d won their cake, Elma quickly turned her attention back to the stage, embarrassed when he caught her staring. “Do you think this show will be over soon?” she whispered to Thelma.

“Aren’t you having a good time?”

Elma fidgeted in her chair. “Guess I am, but my stomach is starting to growl, and I can’t stop thinking of all the things that need to be done at home.”

Thelma patted Elma’s hand. “This is the last item up for bid. As soon as it’s over, we can give our cake to the man who won it then get a little something to eat before we run a few errands and head for home.”

Elma’s nerves escalated. If standing onstage in front of all those people hadn’t been bad enough, now they’d have to give the lopsided cake to the man who’d bid that outrageous price of one hundred dollars.

When the cooking show let out, Joseph asked Delbert if he would go with him to speak to the twins, because he was too nervous to speak to them alone.

“I suppose I should,” Delbert said. “I must admit, once I got into that bidding war, it became an exciting game—especially when the crowd starting urging me on. And after all I went through to get you that cake, I’d like the chance to meet those twins. When the woman in charge first introduced them, she said they were single.”