The Lost Boy (16 page)

“Okay, all right, ” Lilian said, as she waved her hands. “I believe you. But David, she knows. Your mother knows everything. From Walgreens, to running away – even the problem you had with the psychiatrist. Ms Gold thinks she may have slipped up and told your mother more than she needed to know, but Ms Gold is required to keep your mother informed about you. Damn it all! I’ve never seen anyone fight so hard to have their own flesh and blood …”

My body temperature shot up. “What do you mean, the problem with the doctor? I didn’t do anything!”

“Now, I’m getting this secondhand from Ms Gold …”

“How come I’m not allowed to see Ms Gold anymore?” I interrupted.

“Because you have a probation officer now: Gordon Hutchenson, ” Lilian replied, as she shook her head, trying to remain on track. “Now please, listen. I’m not even supposed to know this, but from what I understand, the psychiatrist wrote a report claiming that you have violent behavior tendencies. He’s claiming something about you jumping from your seat, waving your arms and nearly attacking him?” she said, looking more confused than her question sounded.

My head swiveled from side to side. “No, ma’am! He told me I should hate my mother, remember?” I cried as I flung my head backward, hitting the wall. “What’s happening? I don’t understand? I didn’t do it! I didn’t do anything!”

“Listen! Listen to me!” Lilian cried. “Ms Gold thinks your mother’s been waiting for you to screw up – and now she has you.”

“How can she? I live with you!” I said pleadingly, as I fought to understand how my world could suddenly crumble.

“David, ” Lilian said with a huff, “Rudy and I are just your legal guardians, that’s all. A piece of paper states that we maintain your well-being. We foster you. Legally, your mother has quite a bit of latitude. This is her way of striking back. Your mother has probably been fighting to put you away ever since you were placed in foster care, and this school incident makes her case.”

“So now what?” I whimpered.

“Understand this. You’re in for the fight of your life. If your mother can convince the county that it’s in their best interest, she’ll have them put you in a mental institution. If that ever happens …” Lilian’s face suddenly erupted in a fury of tears. “I want you to know this. I don’t care what anybody,
anybody,
tells you. Rudy and I are fighting for you, and we’ll do whatever it takes. If we have to hire a lawyer, we’ll do it. If we have to go to hell and back, we’re prepared to do that, too. We’re here to fight for you.
That’s why we’re foster parents!”

Lilian stopped for a moment to collect her thoughts. She then began in a low, calm voice. “David, I don’t know why it is, but for some reason a great deal of individuals look down on foster care. And these people believe that you children are all bad, otherwise you wouldn’t be in foster care. And if they can keep
you
out of
their
society, well, the better for them. You understand, don’t you?”

I shook my head no.

Lilian raised a finger to her lips while rethinking her statement. “You know what the word
prejudice
means, don’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“It’s the same thing. You see, if these same people acknowledge – admit – a need for foster care, that means they are admitting to a bigger problem of what got you kids into foster care in the first place. And that means admitting to things like alcoholism, child abuse, children who run away or get into drugs … You get it? We’ve made a lot of changes in the last few years, but we still live in a closed society. A lot of folks were raised to keep things to themselves, hoping no one ever finds out about their
family secret.
Some of them are prejudiced, and that’s why whenever a foster child gets in trouble …”

Her statement hit me like a ton of bricks. Now I understood. The bands around my chest seemed to come alive as I began to wheeze. “Uhm … before … when I first came to your house … and I got into trouble …”

“Yes?” Lilian whispered.

“I heard what you said back then … but I just didn’t listen.”

Lilian cupped my hands in hers. “Well, all that’s in the past. I know that being here at The Hill isn’t easy, especially for you, but you have to be on your absolute best behavior. I mean that, ” she emphasized. “The counselors write behavior reports on you that are turned in to your probation officer. You’ve met Gordon Hutchenson, haven’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am, ” I replied.

“Those reports will have a strong impact against your mother trying to place you in an institution. All she has right now is a pack of lies she’s been feeding everyone. Your mother has made you out to be some crazed child – which you are, of course!” Lilian joked. “So if we can prove to the court that you did not set the fire and that you’ve been a model child, this blows your mother out of the water – once and for all.”

“So what do I do?” I asked.

Lilian smiled. “David, just be yourself. That’s all you have to do. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not. The staff here will see through that in a heartbeat. Just be the boy who first came into my house – before you landed in all this hot water. But, ” she warned, “no mistakes. Don’t you fly off the handle when you get upset. You put a lid on that potty mouth of yours. You got me?”

I nodded again.

“David, you’ve got your head in a noose. Lord knows, one more incident, and you’re hung for sure. You’ve overcome more in 12 years than most folks will ever accomplish in a lifetime. If you can do that … you can do this too. But you have to fight a good fight! You do whatever Mr Hutchenson or the staff here tells you. I don’t care how off-the-wall it sounds. I’ve known Gordon for years, and he’s the best. You just think long and hard before you do something you’re gonna regret. All right?”

As Mrs Catanze held my hands, I wanted to explain how sorry I was for all the trouble I had caused her and her family. But I knew I had told her that so many times in the past -when I really didn’t care. So, I asked myself,
why would she believe me now?
I peered into her gentle eyes, knowing that I was the cause of her sleepless nights and hours of frustration.

Lilian did her best to give me a wide smile. “Oh, before I forget, I have something for you, ” she said, as her hand disappeared inside her purse. A second later she pulled out a small, chocolate-coated-cherries box. Her face lit up as she pushed the box over to me.

“Candy?” I asked.

“Just open it, ” Lilian said, beaming.

I carefully opened the tiny lid and let out a shriek as I gazed at my tiny redear turtle, twisting its neck up at me. Gently I plucked my pet from the box and placed him on my hand. The reptile quickly retreated into his shell. “Is he okay? Is he eating?”

“Yes, yes, ” Lilian replied in her motherly voice. “I’m taking care of him. I’m changing his water …”

“Every other day?” I said, with concern for my pet.

“Every other day, yes, I know, I know. Of all things, I never thought I’d ever be taking care of an ol’ turtle.”

“He’s not an old turtle. He’s just a baby … see?” I cooed. “I think he likes you.” Lilian gave me a stern look as I thrust my turtle towards her face.

“David, ” she said lovingly, as she leaned over to stroke my hair, “looking at you with that turtle … If only they saw you the way I do.”

I carefully replaced my turtle in the candy box. Then I reached out to Lilian’s hands. “I know I’ve been bad and that I deserved to be punished for what I did, but I promise -cross my heart and hope to die – I’ll be good. Real good. I promise … Mom.”

That evening, while I stared out of the window of my cell, a warm feeling from deep inside my soul began to take form.
I’m going to do it!
I vowed.
I’m going to prove to Mrs C, Mr Hutchenson and to
Mother
that I
am
a good kid!
I knew that my court date was only a few weeks away. So, I told myself,
I’ll have to work a little harder.
I fell asleep, no longer feeling afraid.

Within days, my daily behavior scores nearly doubled. I had thought I was doing rather well before, but when Carl Miguel, the C-Wing superintendent, told me in front of everyone what a great week I was having, I wanted to prove myself even more. By the end of that week, I had achieved the highest status that the wing held: gold. Mr Hutchenson informed me that it normally took a pretty good kid three or four weeks to make gold. I smiled inside, knowing that I had made it in under two weeks. During that visit, Gordon informed me that my court date had been moved up a few days. “So, when do we go to court?” I asked.

“The day after tomorrow, ” he answered. “You gonna be okay?”

“Yes, sir, ” I said, trying to sound sure of myself, when inside I was terrified.

“David, I’m not going to confuse you on what can or cannot happen when we get in the courtroom. I’ve seen enough to know that some cases can go either way, and you have one of those cases. I can only tell you to keep your cool, and if you believe in God, I recommend you pray.”

Alone in my cell, I could feel myself become lightheaded. I closed my eyes, turned off my anxiety, and prayed.

Two endless days later, I sat perfectly upright as I strained to remember everything Lilian and Gordon had fed me. I nodded to Lilian, who sat behind me, and I smiled to her. As I turned away from her, I saw Mother sitting to the right of me in one of the front-row seats. I closed my eyes for a moment to make sure they weren’t playing tricks on me. But when I opened them, I could see Mother cradling Kevin in her arms.

My feelings of confidence evaporated. “She’s here!” I whispered to Gordon.

“Yeah, and remember, keep your cool, ” he warned.

Moments later my case number was announced. I squirmed in my seat before stealing a glance at Mother. My lawyer, whom I had met only a few minutes earlier in the outer chamber, stood up, rattling off dates and other official-sounding numbers and statements so fast that I wasn’t sure whether everything he stated was about my case or someone else’s.

The judge acknowledged my lawyer after he returned to his seat. From my right, another man in a dark suit cleared his throat before he spoke. Gordon leaned over and tapped me on the knee. “No matter what he says, keep your cool. Don’t smile, don’t move and don’t show any emotion.”

“Your Honor, on or about the week of January 10, the minor, David Pelzer, after extensive premeditation, did knowingly commit arson and attempted to burn a classroom at the Monte Cristo Elementary School …”

A slow panic began to consume my body.

“The minor, Your Honor, has an extensive history of extreme rebellious behaviour. You have the brief from the minor’s psychiatrist, as well as statements from the minor’s teacher and staff members of Monte Cristo Elementary. I have statements from the minor’s former social worker, who also claims that ‘while David’s naivete can be rather enchanting, he does, at times, require close supervision. While residing under the most liberal foster conditions, David has displayed
aggressive behavior toward others
and
has,
on occasion,
been argumentative and disruptive
while in foster care.’”

I sank into my seat. The same building that had granted me freedom would now be my doom. After an eternity the other lawyer thanked the judge before taking his seat, then nodded to Mother.

“Did you see that?” I asked, nudging Gordon.

“Shh, ” he warned, “don’t blow it!”

“Rebuttal?” the judge, sounding bored, asked in my direction.

“Your Honor, ” my lawyer chuckled as he stood up, “Ms Gold’s statement is taken totally out of context. I submit that his Honor take the time to read the entire text. As for the charge of arson, the case has been founded on purely circumstantial evidence. While David was initially the suspect for the charge, I have in my possession statements attesting to the fact that David
stopped the spread of the fire set by another minor.
As for behavior reports while under detention, David has been, and I quote, ‘exceptional.’ As for David’s foster placement, the Catanzes eagerly await David’s return. Thank you, Your Honor.”

The judge scribbled down some notes before nodding at the other lawyer, who sprang from his seat. “Your Honor, while no direct corroboration has
yet
been made, the minor
has
an established pattern of
extreme
dysfunctional behavior. In addition, I have a signed affidavit, from the minor’s biological mother, Mrs Pelzer, stating that the minor
has
set several fires in the basement of his former residence. Mrs Pelzer regrettably confesses that she could not control the minor under any normal conditions, and that the minor
is
extremely manipulative and harbors violent tendencies. Please review the order transferring custody, dated last March.

“Your Honor, it has become dramatically apparent, for whatever reason, that the minor cannot be managed in his former home setting or in foster care. The county believes that the minor is an extreme burden to society. The county hereby recommends the minor to be immediately admitted to psychiatric evaluation for possible admission into a facility that can best support his needs.”

“What does all that mean?” I asked Gordon, after the lawyer was through. Before Gordon could even hush me, the judge rubbed his temples and asked, “Juvenile probation?”

Mr Hutchenson buttoned his coat as he stood. “Probation recommends continued monitoring and consultation from a different psychiatrist. I have seen nothing to make me believe that David is a threat to himself or to others. I recommend replacement with David’s foster guardians.”

“Gluttons for punishment, are they?” the judge chuckled before continuing. “Prior convictions?” he asked, as he turned to my lawyer.

“None, Your Honor, ” the lawyer stated, as he leaned forward.

The judge leaned back into his chair. As his eyes looked down on me, I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck begin to rise. I moved my left hand to scratch my right arm. I held my breath, waiting for the judge’s answer. The judge fingered his mustache. With a sudden nod of his head he turned to the court reporter. “Pending no further verification on the charge of arson … the court recommends sentencing of … 100 days in juvenile detention, honoring time already served.