Authors: Lilian Carmine
“I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me,” Tiff mumbled.
“Yeah. Right. What guy doesn’t want a tall, blonde, gorgeous, sexy, smart, funny girl, right?” he said sarcastically, with a heavy frown.
She glanced over at him, a little surprised but happy. “You know … I kind of like my men sexy, and blond and geeky,” she said, looking directly at him, making him lose the frown and smile at her.
“Aaaaww, that’s so sweet!” I giggled from my bed.
They both grabbed a pillow each and tossed them at my head.
“Joey, can you please cut it out!” they both yelled at me.
“And leave, so we can have our make-up sex!” Seth added as an afterthought.
“Seth!” Tiff yelled, and tried to punch him lightly on the arm, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her waist.
“I can see that the fighting thing isn’t going to change,” I mumbled to myself.
“No. Seriously, Joe. Get out,” Seth commanded, looking at Tiffany with hungry eyes.
“Okay. Okay. I’m going. Jeez. Just promise you won’t try to kill each other after I leave,” I said, walking over to the door.
“We’ll try,” they both said, eyes locked on each other now. I hurried to get out of the room and leave them alone. I could see that killing wasn’t exactly what was in their minds right now. And I didn’t need to worry about helping those two. They were doing just fine on their own.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Spring Ball
Seth took Tiffany out on an official date the following night.
It was so funny seeing them all excited about going out. They were together all the time, at school, at the lunch table, lazing around in my room, but apparently being together on a date was a totally different way of hanging out.
I stayed up until late that night, waiting with Tristan for Seth to get back. It was like we were anxious parents waiting for their son.
Since Tristan was acting like nothing had happened back at the oak tree that afternoon, I decided it was best not to mention it at all. He probably hadn’t heard anything anyway. Though sometimes I caught him taking quick peeks in my direction, but he always had a faint smile on his lips, and I knew that, whatever it meant, it wasn’t making him upset, but happy.
When Seth finally got back, he had a big smile plastered on his face.
He looked so happy as he told us all about his romantic date with Tiffany. Before Tristan, I had never really understood what the fuss was about with romance. I thought it was a silly, unimportant thing to be concerned about. I also had never known what desire truly meant. And now I was in love for the first time in my life. Even if I didn’t know for sure if he knew. Or indeed how he felt about me.
The rest of the week passed by in a dance-preparation frenzy. Everybody seemed so excited about it, while I still had no clue about who I was going with. I was still dodging all approaches, but Saturday was getting near and I hadn’t found a solution to my problem. Tristan hadn’t mentioned it either. I was slowly realizing I was going to end up at the dance on my own, the rate things were going.
Two days before the Ball I bumped into Seth on the way back to our room, and he told me I’d just missed my grandmother. After a few questions, I found out that my “grandmother” was actually old Miss Violet. I was really bummed about missing her, especially as she must have found out something about our situation. Seth told me that Tristan had looked for me all over the school, but couldn’t find me.
When I walked into my room I found Tristan sitting on his bed, staring at the floor with a haunted look in his eyes.
“Hey, Seth told me you were looking for me. I missed Miss Violet’s visit. Is something wrong?” I asked, startled by the grim look on his face.
“You tell me,” he said shortly. His tone was sharp. Cutting.
“Y-you’re angry,” I stated.
“How clever of you,” he snapped.
“Tris, I don’t know what the problem—”
“You lied to me,” he said, cutting me off.
I stared at him in surprise. Then I thought about my last call to Miss Violet, asking her to help me with my nightmares.
“Miss Violet told you. That I’m still having dreams,” I realized slowly.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked sharply. He sounded betrayed.
“I-I’m so sorry, Tris. I didn’t want to upset you,” I mumbled, but he cut me off again.
“You’ve been dreaming about him all this time; he’s carried on haunting you in your sleep.
He’s hunting you
. And he’s doing all this because of me! To get to me! And you thought it was best not to tell me?” he said angrily, his voice raised.
“Tris, no, you don’t understand! I was just trying to protect you!”
“Exactly! I should be the one trying to protect you! You don’t trust me. You asked an old lady to help you, but not me.”
“No, Tris, you’re getting this all wrong!”
He stood up abruptly, his fists clenched, a dark look shading his eyes. “You know what? I don’t want to talk about this any more. I need some air.” But he stopped in the doorway, his face troubled, a hundred thoughts and emotions racing through his eyes. “I think we need to rethink things about us,” he said, and he still sounded a little angry, but so, so sad.
“Tris, please … you’re over-reacting! You can’t say that just because I didn’t tell you about some stupid dreams!” I pleaded, and for a second something else flashed in his eyes. Something he wasn’t telling me. “What did Miss Violet say to you? Did she find out about something?”
He clenched his jaw and avoided looking straight at me. “She said she’s really sorry and that there is really nothing she can do to help. You can call her and hear it for yourself, since it’s painfully clear you don’t trust me,” he snapped, and then he left, banging the door shut.
I sat on my bed in a shocked state. I didn’t know what to do, what to say to make things better again. I had really screwed things up by hiding this from him all this time. I tried to find him at dinner, but he didn’t show up, and I waited in our room until really late, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling in the dark, my heart as heavy as if lead had been poured over it. He finally came home really late in the night and went to bed without speaking at all. I bit my lips in the dark, trying hard not to cry. This was all a big misunderstanding! I would talk to him tomorrow, clear this whole mess up. That’s what I told myself again and again and again until I drifted into yet another restless night of sleep.
I couldn’t have been more wrong. Next day things were not better. I tried to talk to Tristan before breakfast, but he wouldn’t let me. He closed himself down so fiercely I couldn’t even read anything from his eyes any more. All I could see was a cold empty stare on the brief occasions he glanced my way.
He was absent most of the day, and I got to see him only in our shared classes, when he chose to sit in a distant corner, far away from me. He even skipped band rehearsals and again only came back to our room really late at night, once he could be sure I would already be in bed. He seemed a shadow of his former self, his posture weighed down by worry, and the only time his face changed from a blank stare was to show a troubled, anxious expression. He seemed so lost, so alone; it made my heart ache. But he still wouldn’t let me say a word to him, not even in apology.
The day of the Spring Ball took me by surprise, so focused was I on my problems with Tristan. Tiffany noticed something was wrong between us, but she didn’t press to know more. I guess she presumed that Tristan had told me he didn’t love me back. I couldn’t tell her the reason for our fight anyway. She didn’t know the real truth of how Tristan had come into my life.
I spent the whole day in Tiffany’s room, watching her trying on dresses for the ball. She was so excited about going with Seth. Seeing her happiness made my heart a little lighter. When she had finished picking out a beautiful cream lace dress, with shoes, purse and jewelry to match, I told her my bad news.
“Tiff, I hope you’ll forgive me, but I think I’m not going to the dance,” I said, lying face down on her bed. She immediately pouted at me.
“Aw, Joey. Come on! You too? You guys are acting silly over this fight!” she said, putting her hands on her hips, upset. “Tristan is not going too. He told Seth he didn’t have a suit, so I got him a suit and he still said he wasn’t going. That’s when Seth found out about your fight. He’s been trying to talk to Tristan, but Seth tells me he’s been pretty reclusive and quiet. Like you,” she said, sitting on the bed. I started to protest, but she cut me off. “I know you don’t want to talk about it, I get it. I just want you to know I’m here for you if you ever need me, okay?” she said, putting her hand over mine.
“Thanks, Tiff,” I muttered. “But it’s not like I was going to go with Tristan anyway. You know we couldn’t do that when the school thinks we’re related. And I’d feel weird going with anyone else.”
“Well, Harry, Sam and Josh told me they’d dump their dates in a second if you chose to go with any one of them!” she said, smiling at me.
“Oh. Good to know they care about me that much. I wouldn’t do that to their dates, though!” I smiled weakly at her. “I don’t know, I’ll decide what I’m going to do later, okay? I’ll go take a shower now, cool my head a bit, and I’ll come back here to see you all dressed up, all right?”
I got back to an empty room. Of course, Tristan wasn’t there. The room was the perfect symbol of the way I was feeling lately. Empty and lonely. I took my shower in a dazed, numb state.
I wasn’t going to cry over this, though. I wasn’t the weepy type of girl. And it was a stupid thing to cry about anyway. I was sure Tristan was going to come around sooner or later, and we’d talk things through and everything would be fine again. I left the bathroom dressed in my loose sweats, and watched Seth preen himself to the point of exhaustion. But he looked incredible in the end, so it was really worth all his effort. He wore a black tailored suit, a dark-blue shirt with a light-blue tie. His blond hair was, as usual, impeccably groomed and styled. Tiffany would be even more head over heels with him than ever.
The dance was about to start, so I walked over with Seth to pick up Tiffany. I wanted to see Tiff’s face when she got a good look at Seth all dressed up, fancy and gorgeous! I smiled, thinking about the rest of the boys dressed up and handsome. It was a pity I wasn’t going to be there to see it.
Seth knocked on Tiff’s dorm room and we waited patiently. When she opened the door, both my jaw and Seth’s dropped to the ground. Tiffany looked absolutely incredible! She looked like a princess out of a fairytale! Her blonde curls were even curlier, and her lips had a pink gloss that made them look even plumper. Seth gasped and choked and stuttered some compliment, while trying not to grin like a complete idiot. They were so adorable together – the best-looking couple I had ever seen!
Before they left for the dance, Tiff made one last attempt to get me to come, pointing at my dress laid out on her bed, but I shook my head sadly. After they left, I sat on her bed, aware of the soft music coming from downstairs already.
I replayed everything that had happened to me these past days, while the music drifted through the windows. I don’t know exactly when or what made me change my mind. But suddenly, all I knew was that I wasn’t going to sit around and sulk, all alone in Tiff’s room. I was missing out the opportunity of enjoying this! That wasn’t what my mother had taught me. She had taught me to enjoy all life’s possibilities. And that was just what I was going to do! I didn’t need a date to go to this dance.
Before I could change my mind, I slipped on my beautiful red dress. Tonight wasn’t going to be about getting dressed up for Tristan, or for any other guy. Tonight was going to be about me. I was getting dressed up for myself. And I didn’t care if people stared because I was by myself. If Tristan wasn’t going to be my date, then I was better off alone.
Tiffany had left out a beautiful red-stoned necklace, with matching red earrings, for me to borrow. I put them on and let my hair down, also putting on a ruby lipstick the same color as my dress.
As I passed through the big doors to the ballroom, I was really nervous, but kind of excited. I breathed deeply as I stepped inside the room. I spotted Tiffany and Seth from the entrance. They had turned to look in my direction, and then, it was just like one of those scenes in the movies where the whole room goes quiet when the heroine walks in. Everybody turned to look at me as I walked through the doors. Embarrassed, I gave Tiff a small smile before walking to where she was standing, without giving a second glance to the crowd staring silently at me. Tiff was grinning widely at me, and after a while people stopped staring and went back to enjoying the party. However, I was aware that a few gazes still lingered, people whispering things, probably about the lameness of attending the party alone.
“Thanks so much for your help!” I whispered in Tiff’s ear as I hugged her. “And thanks for lending me your jewelry. It’s beautiful,” I said, holding the stone of my necklace. She nodded, beaming.
“So, how do I look?” I said, stepping in front of Seth and hugging him tight. He had an awestruck expression on his face.
“You’re kidding me, right? Did you not see the reaction from everyone here? You look … incredible!”
“Yes, you do!” Tiff said, nudging Seth but smiling all the same. “I’m almost feeling jealous,” she teased.
I looked around us. A few people were still glancing and whispering, but there was admiration and envy shining in their eyes. I guess I should take that as a complement, then.
Seth snapped his fingers all of a sudden, like he had just remembered something. “I gotta go but I’ll be right back!” he said, already walking away from us before either of us could say anything.
Tiff grabbed my hand and twirled me around, making my round skirt flow around my knees. My dress wasn’t as long as Tiffany’s – it ended right below the knees – but it showed a lot more of cleavage …
“You know, one of us should be doing that to her,” Josh said, walking towards us. He was referring to the twirling move. Sam and Harry were right behind him, both with a glint in their eyes.