Authors: Emma Hart
“Oh, yes. I didn't notice you there.” Blonde girl turns to Maddie. “I mean, you're not his
usual
type, honey.”
“Maybe that's why I'm his girlfriend, and you're a discarded weekend fuck whose name he can't even remember,
honey.
”
Did
Maddie
just cuss? Holy fuck. She did. Did she get abducted by aliens overnight?
I look between the two girls. Blonde girl is staring daggers at the side of Maddie's head, while she carries on casually picking at her food as if she hadn't just said something completely out of character.
“Maybe you should go.” I nod towards the blonde girl. She gives Maddie one last evil glare and turns back to me, a sweet smile on her face.
“When you're done with her, call me, okay?” She turns and walks away, exaggerating the sway of her hips.
“You have a really bad taste in girls,” Maddie says when blonde girl has disappeared.
Apparently so. “Are you included in that?”
She looks up at her, her previously sad eyes now as cold as ice. This look would freeze hell, I'm sure of it.
“Don't fuck with me, Braden. Not today. I'm not gonna sit here and deal with a bunch of fake-boobed whores coming up to me and telling me how I'm not your 'usual type'.” She snatches her hand from mine and gets up, storming past me.
I lean my head back, sigh, and get up to follow her. Why, oh
why
, is this
so
fucking
hard
?
I follow her out the doors to an area shaded by trees. She's standing there, sunlight glinting off the top of her head where she's not fully under the cover of trees. Her arms are folded over a heaving chest, and she leans against a tree trunk, resting her head back against the rough bark of the trunk.
“Now, Angel,” I say, approaching her. “Why don't you tell me what that was all about?”
“I'm not in the mood to discuss your previous bed-mates, Braden,” she replies, her eyes closed.
“I'm not talking about that.” I move closer to her. “Why don't you tell me where those cuss words came from, because I'm pretty sure I haven't heard you cuss. Ever.”
“A bad day. A slip up. Ignore it.”
“Why would I ignore it?”
“Because I said to.”
“If you're having a bad day, talk to me. It's what I'm here for, right?” I pause. “I said I wanted to be there for you, so let me.”
She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. Her eyes open and that hardened, guarded look is glossing over the bright green I'm getting so accustomed to.
“My life before Berkeley and yours were very, very different. You can't even imagine it, so there's no point in talking. You wouldn't understand.”
“Then help me to.” I put a hand against the trunk, standing in front of her. Her eyes meet mine. “Help me understand. Help me help you.”
She bites her top lip. “Not today,” she whispers. “I just, can't talk right now.”
I slide my hand behind her neck and tug her to me, pressing her body against me. She flattens her hands against my stomach and pushes back.
“No,” I say into her ear. “If you won't talk to me, Maddie, let me hold you. I can do that, at least.”
She freezes, stuck in a state of indecision, before relaxing into me and wrapping her arms around my waist.
“I'm sorry,” she murmurs. “For being a raging bitch.”
“Don't be,” I reply, stroking the back of her head. I saw that in a movie too. “I'm sorry.”
And I am. I just don't know what the hell I'm sorry for.
My brother, currently three thousand miles away, still has the ability to mess my day – and my mood – up. And apparently, the ability to nearly mess up nine days of hard work with Braden.
But, really, who the hell walks up to someone in a college cafeteria and asks to finish what they started? It's vile, and reminds me exactly why I'm doing this. It also reinstates the hate for Braden I lost when he held me the way he did after my outburst.
I sigh, and my thoughts return to Pearce. Anger bubbles inside me, and I have the crazy urge to chuck my phone clear out of my dorm window. It would be so,
so
satisfying to see it smash into a million pieces on the sidewalk. Or, of course, I could just get a new number. That's probably the better idea, but nowhere near as invigorating.
I'm not surprised he's contacted me so soon after last time. I figured he wanted the money for rent, but I was wrong. Oh, so wrong.
There's one big difference between Pearce and Braden that I have to acknowledge. That difference would be in the form of illegal drugs.
Pearce turned to it when Mom was killed. It was his “escape.” There's nothing wrong with wanting an escape, but when that escape gives you a bigger down after, you have a problem. My darling brother solved that by getting more of the escape.
And this time he's run up a bill so bad that the eight hundred dollars already transferred from my bank doesn't even cover half of it.
Naturally, he told whoever he gets it from he'd get the money, assuming I'd hand it over like I always do, but this time I said no. I told him I wasn't going to bail him out anymore, and he went crazy.
His text message yesterday morning was informing me he was making arrangements to be here, and I should expect to see him next week sometime.
I click my tongue. Two different lives merging. Everyone here knows I have an older brother back in Brooklyn but they don't know the details. Besides Kay, Megan and Lila, only Braden knows about Mom being killed. No one never asked, and I've never felt like offering up that information.
But Pearce, here? The idea scares me, because I know what he's like. After all, didn't I watch him dominate, control and drive my best friend to attempted suicide, all because of his drug addiction and inferiority complex?
“Argh!” I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands, digging them in as if it can pull away the memories of last year. I should be so lucky.
The bright colors of our Operation Play the Player poster catch my eye. Day ten, and I'm even more determined than ever to see this through. For what feels like the hundredth time in two days, I build a wall around my heart.
Despite everything bad, Megan was right. Braden is caring, sweet, and thoughtful. He does have a heart, somewhere, at least.
But, so did Pearce before he ripped out Abbi's heart.
~
I walk across the lawn towards Braden's frat house. We haven't really spoken since my outburst in the cafeteria yesterday, so I know I need to 'patch things up' for the sake of the plan. All I really want to do is run away and hide somewhere Pearce can't find me.
Lila lets me in at the door. “He's out the back, come on.”
I smile gratefully at her, but I still sigh.
“Hey.” She wraps an arm around my shoulders. “It'll be okay. Even if he does show, we'll all be there. Promise. You won't be alone.”
“I know.” I drop my eyes to the ground as she opens the door.
“Time out!” Braden calls. I look up again, and I'm met by a sweaty, shirtless Braden jogging towards me. His face breaks out into a smile, and he hops onto the small porch. “Hey, Angel.”
“Hey,” I say quietly. “Braden-”
“If you're gonna apologize about yesterday, then stop right there.” He steps towards me and brushes some hair away from my eye. “We're all entitled to a freak-out once in a while, right?”
“Right.” I smile at him. “So, we're good?”
He laughs. “Maddie, we never weren't good. I just figured you needed time to cool down.”
I nod in agreement, and he reaches out to tuck me into his side. We rest back on the porch, our backs to the rest of the field. My hand rests on his stomach, and with my decision to finish this fresh in my mind, I take the game up another level.
I trace the grooves in his torso with the tip of my finger, my thumb brushing the solid packs of muscle as I go. His grip on my waist tightens as I approach the subtly defined 'v' by the waistband of his shorts. I feel him shiver, and his free hand clamps down onto mine an inch before I reach his shorts.
“Maddie,” he whispers in a deeper voice than I've ever heard him use. “If I were you, I'd stop there.”
Bingo.
“Why?” I smile, amused, and look up at him. “I was only wondering if that muscle went as far down as it looks like it does.”
He turns to me, his electric blue eyes clouding over with desire. “It goes further.”
I bite my top lip, pulling the corner of it into my mouth and glance down at our clasped hands. He clears his throat, and I snap my eyes to his.
“Sorry,” I whisper. “Just curious.”
Braden moves his head down, putting his lips next to my ear. “Angel, you can be curious all you like, but unless you want my frat brothers to see what you look like in your birthday suit, it's wise if you stop right there.”
Warmth erupts in my belly. Holy
... I swallow. This is totally turning around on me. I can't even do justice to the turned-on tone of his voice. It's a husky, masculine sound that vibrates right through my body. I can feel it wrapping around every inch of my skin.
“Okay,” I breathe out. “I'll stop.”
I slide my hand out from under his and up his body, reaching his shoulder and trailing it down his arm. Goose-pimples erupt in my hand's wake, and he makes a growling sound deep in his throat. I control my smile, linking my fingers through his bigger ones.
I said I'd stop. I didn't say when.
He exhales loudly, his breath fluttering my hair. “Maddie.”
“I've stopped.” I bite my lip. “Sorry.”
He shakes his head, smiling and leans his forehead against mine. I look up into his eyes, my eyelashes tickling my skin. He rubs the tip of his nose against mine and gently tips his head so his lips brush mine. I move up to my tip toes, squeezing his hand. I wrap my free arm around his neck gently, returning the kiss.
So I like kissing the guy I hate. Shoot me.
“Hey, Carter! Put my girl down!” Kay yells, a door slamming behind her. I smile against Braden's lips and drop back down from my tip toes.
“Hey, Kay,” I greet her, turning round.
She looks between me and Braden. “You two are like a walking porn movie.”
“Hey, can't I kiss my girl now?” Braden looks at her. “It's not my fault if I want to show her off.”
I blush a little. A forced blush. A very forced blush. No, I'm lying. It wasn't forced at all.
Crap.
“You can.” She sniffs. “Just not when I'm around.”
Megan slaps the back of her arm. “Don't be so fucking grumpy. It's nice to see them happy!”
I smile at her.
“Thank you, Meggy.” Braden grins at her. Kay huffs, flips him off, and turns to join Lila and Ryan. “Man, she really hates me, huh?”
“It's because you don't have a vagina.” Megan giggles. “At least, I hope you don't.”
“I can assure you,” Braden replies, looking right at me. “There is no vagina in my pants.”
I bite my lip again to stop myself from grinning like crazy.
So I skipped a stage. This one is way more fun.
I'm fucked. Genuinely fucked.
Maddie's hand trailing down my stomach equaled an instant, rock hard, raging hard on. My dick standing to attention so fast it could well have been doing an army drill.
I curse the fact she's not like my usual girls. Usually, a suggestive smile and a wink is all that's needed. But no, I have to wine and fucking dine Maddie. I might as well serenade her under the fucking stars – and you know what? If I could sing, I damn well would.
Because I have to want what I can't have, all the time. And Maddie? Maddie is at the top of that list. Hell, she's at the top of every fucking list I own.
She is so damn untouchable, like a rare stone in a museum surrounded by laser lights. I feel like a ninja, dodging one more laser light daily and getting one step closer to worming my way into her heart.
But then, do I want her in love with me? The problem with this challenge is that it's not just a quick roll in the hay. I have to get to know her, I have to pretend to care about her – but when does pretending start becoming real?
I know her mom was killed. I know she's not close to her brother, that she loves her dad, and I also know that when she's in a bad mood her dirty mouth can rival mine on a good day. And that's sexy, on her.
Prim, proper Maddie going bad is the biggest fuckin' turn on I've ever had.
Shit.
I get up, slamming my bedroom door behind me. I can't stay in my room thinking about her. I practically run into Aston and Ryan at the bottom of the stairs and grab their arms, shoving them through the front door and round the side of the house.
“Dude? What the fuck?” Aston rubs his arms.