The Love Series Complete Box Set (33 page)
Read The Love Series Complete Box Set Online
Authors: Melissa Collins
The thought of going on without Reid is just unbearable, but I have to. I have to do this for me, for my baby—to protect us.
With walls firmly in place, I ready myself for the inevitable broken heart.
“Yes, Reid. I . . . I can’t stay with you. This baby deserves love—” he opens his mouth to say something, to tell me he does love the baby and that he loves me, but I know he’ll say anything at this point to keep me from saying the rest, “—I deserve love, and until you realize that you deserve love, that you are not to blame for Shane dying, and that your mother deserves love, too, I know I can’t be with you.”
Eyes wide and sincere, his heart bleeds open in front of me. He looks like a lost little boy—and that’s essentially what he is.
“But I can’t be without you. You can push me away all you want, but I will fight for us. I will fight until my last breath to show you just how much I love you, how much I will always love you.”
Our eyes are locked, and he’s furiously searching mine for some clue that I’m balking here, that I don’t mean what I’m saying. He’s pleading with me to take back my words, but the Reid I know is fully aware of their truth.
The knock on the door startles us from our hell. Momma peeks around the corner.
“Guess who’s all cleared to go home?” Her cheery sing-song voice is a stark contrast to the icy atmosphere. Lost in the happiness that’s consuming her with me being well enough to finally leave, she doesn’t even notice what’s going on.
She stands next to me and pulls me to her side. I rest my head on her shoulder and try to refrain from crying and sobbing in pain at my broken heart.
“I just saw Dr. McNamara in the hall, and she gave me these.” She waves a few papers in front of me, indicating that I’m all set to leave.
I turn away from Reid because I just can’t bear to see what I imagine is my pain reflected in his eyes. I reach down for the handle on my suitcase and, with my good hand, click the button to extend the handle.
Momma wraps her arm around my shoulder and starts walking toward the door. She’s starting to figure out that something’s not right. “Smile, Maddy. You’re going home. You’ve got me, Mel, and Reid to take care of you. Everything is going to be just fine. Well, just fine as soon as we make this five-hour car trip.”
I only wish that last part were true. I would give anything at this point to know in my heart that Reid will be there to take care of me and our baby.
As Momma and I walk toward the door, Reid lingers behind us in the room. Momma stares at him blankly. “Aren’t you coming home with us, Reid?”
He regains his composure and swallows his pain. “Yeah, of course, Momma. I just need to head back to the hotel and get Cammie and Jack. I’ve got his car. Actually, why don’t I drive back with them, and that’ll give Maddy enough room to stretch out in the back seat for the long drive. I’ll meet up with you guys later.”
He walks toward me slowly, and I’m savoring every last second I have with him. I want to memorize the rough stubble that’s grown on his hard, chiseled jaw, his deep ocean-blue eyes that are swirling in anguish at the moment, his soft, full lips, his rich brown hair that feels like silk between my fingertips.
He stops directly in front of me and cradles my cheeks in his large palms. He gently strokes the pads of his thumbs under my eyes, where tears are streaming down. Leaning into my ear, he whispers, “Goodbye for now, sweet Maddy. I love you. I’ll always love you, no matter what, and I will prove it to you.” His lips softly graze my cheek, and then he’s gone. He’s walking past me—out of the door and out of my life.
As Momma and I enter the hallway, I can see Reid all the way at the end. His dark silhouette is illuminated by the bright sun shining through the sliding glass doors.
I can’t help but think how fitting an image it is.
Reid, the love of my life, has always been the darkness in search of the light.
I hope for his sake, for my sake, and for the sake of our baby that he can finally find it.
The End
Acknowledgements
When I started writing Let Love In, I did so mainly because I had a story to tell. I realized somewhat quickly that it was a story worth sharing. So I sent it out to a few of my friends and family who enjoy reading. Encouraged by their overwhelming response, I knew I had to self-publish the novel and get it out there for more people to read. It has been a crazy journey to get to this point, but I have really loved every minute of it.
I have to say thank you to all of those people who read my work before it was released. Your encouragement, suggestions and support were all a huge help in keeping me motivated. Lori L., Lisa L., Mollie M., Nicole L., and Kristy B., thank you so much for being there for me in the early release stages. You are all awesome and I can’t possibly begin to express how your reviews kept me going.
Being an independent author / self-publisher is very lonely at times. There’s so much information to wade through so I owe a great deal of gratitude to my editor, Joy at Indie Author Services, and all of the amazing bloggers out there who helped me along the way.
For months, the house went un-cleaned, rugs un-vacuumed, dishes un-washed. Needless to say, my family never complained. Boys, I love you more than the sky and I hope that one day you can find your true passion and embrace it. I know I might have been in front of the computer more than you would have liked, and that it will be years before you can ever read this, but I just want to say thank you for being the best kids I could ever ask for.
To my husband—I don’t even know where to begin. You’ve always been my biggest cheer leader, often times having more faith in my abilities than I had in myself. There’s no way for me to sum up in a few lines how I feel about you. Just know that I love you and that you will always be ‘my lobster.’
Last, but certainly not least, I owe so much to you—the reader. Thank you for reading Maddy and Reid’s story and for your continued support. I hope you enjoyed Let Love In and that you’re looking forward to Let Love Stay—the second book in The Love Series.
Dedication
For those who believe in the power and beauty of love, even when the world tells them they shouldn’t.
Let Love Stay Table of Contents
Let Love In
Let Love Stay
Acknowledgements
Let Love Heal
Let Love Shine
Let Love Be
Let Love Live
Other Works
Social Media Links
Chapter 1
Monday December 10, 2012
As the sliding glass doors of the hospital power open, the afternoon sun blinds me. While my eyes adjust to the glaring light, I can’t help but notice the irony of the scene before me. A husband is gingerly assisting his wife out of her wheelchair. The back door of their car is still open and I can see a tiny bundle of blankets. Inside, I’m sure there’s a tiny newborn, carefully secured in a brand new car seat. Maddy’s words replay in my head—
I’m pregnant.
A baby. My baby. Our baby.
At that last thought, my gut clenches and, if possible, my heart breaks even more. I’ve been apart from Maddy for less than ten minutes, and already I miss her so much that I feel like I can’t breathe without her.
Okay, even I’ll admit that I’m being a bit melodramatic, but she means everything to me and when she needs me the most, I’m a fucking coward and I let her push me away. And I walked away. I didn’t fight for her, for us, for our future as a family.
I didn’t have the courage to say everything I needed to say. Instead, I just let my shock get the best of me. When she said she was pregnant, it was as if everything just stopped. My world faded to black and I shut down. I couldn’t process anything; I’m sure I looked like an asshole. The love of my life just told me that she’s going to have
my
baby and I started talking about how it was going to affect
my life.
But now, as I walk towards Jack’s pickup truck and unlock the doors, I can’t help but think about how this is all affecting Maddy’s life. She’s just starting college and I’ve gone and fucked that up for her.
I fuck up everything.
I slide into the driver’s seat, turn the ignition and just sit there completely paralyzed by the pain I feel at losing Maddy. Doesn’t she realize that she’s mine—that she makes me want to be a better man?