The Magic Council (The Herezoth Trilogy) (24 page)

Kora sighed. “I
should, yes. And I figure it’s time we went back to the tavern.”

The sky was now
a darkening shade of lavender-tinged pink. The tide had begun to go out.

“In a minute,”
said the king. “In a minute. I’ll have to deal with the kidnappers when I
return, and I’m in no rush for that. Listen, Kora, I’m still horrified the Fist
saw you. Like I told you before, I’ll send Vane if I foresee trouble, and he….”

“I know he’d
come straightaway. I’ll have plenty of time to plan for the worst, and notice
before it hits, if things come to that. I’m not worried. My biggest concern’s
that you made clear this evening what….” She searched for words. “You discussed
the impact you feel I’ve made on your life. We avoided that topic when you
first brought Vane to me, purposefully, I think, on both sides. Well, we
weren’t as guarded tonight. Some words slipped out, and I don’t know if that’s
for better or for worse, but I can’t let you leave for good without getting
more out in the open.

“I’m more
blessed than you’ll ever know to say I had you as a confidant at the worst
moments of my life. When I felt tempted to give up, you’d remind me I had
reasons to plug on. Quickly, much too quickly, you became one of those reasons
yourself. I was younger than you were, hunted and vulnerable. I trusted you implicitly,
told you everything,
and though you
could have taken advantage of that in any number of ways, you never did. You
always acted for my interest over yours. It was only later, years later, I was
able to look back with some degree of clarity, and I realized how truly
vulnerable I was, how lucky I am you were always so selfless.

“I may have
known I’d regret us getting involved, or doing something crazy like fleeing
together, but that doesn’t mean I could have resisted had you pushed me. You
must have realized that, and I’m grateful for your respect. I’m grateful you’re
such an integral part of the person I’ve become, and as painful as the end was,
as much as I would have liked more closure than we got…. In truth, I can’t
imagine life without Parker, and I can’t imagine it without my memories of you.
Lanokas, did you mean what you said before? That you’ve never loved Gracia as
much as you loved me?”

“I don’t know.
I honestly don’t know. I don’t know where that came from.”

“I know you
love your wife. You were willing to wait for Brianna before she married someone
else, you treated me with the utmost consideration: you would never have used
Gracia for political gain, or to put me from your mind. Please, don’t dwell on
what you said. That was the flush of the moment. Old emotions heating after
years of having cooled, nothing more. Go home, go home and make things right
with Gracia, and be happy. Apologize, sincerely, for not taking her wishes in
account. Stress it wasn’t your intention to be cold. You were focused so
entirely on your children’s welfare and on being a decent father that you
forgot to be a husband. You forgot she was frightened and hurting too, not just
the boys. There’s not a doubt in my mind your family is the most important
thing in your life, and always will be. Make her see that. You’re so genuine,
so sincere, it shouldn’t be too difficult.”

“Thanks for
that, Kora.” He paused. “You do understand why we shouldn’t keep in contact?”

“That’s the
right call, Lanokas.”

“It’s not that
I’m not grateful.”

“I understand,
really I do.”

“I owe
everything I have, everything I am, to you and the League. I’m under no
delusions of where I’d be on my own. I would have been dead years ago, dead the
day of Zalski’s coup.”

Kora said, “No
one ever accused you of ingratitude. Least of all me.”

“I suppose we
really should join Zac and Vane now.”

“I guess we
should. Lanokas, it’s been nice to talk again with an old companion, like we
used to do, but without the strain of being on watch, of never knowing whether
soldiers might appear….”

“I do miss our
talks, even still. They’re one of the few things I miss from those days.”

“I miss them
too,” said Kora. “I really miss them too.” She gave him a friendly
hug—she judged that the thing to do—and together they headed
inland, their backs to the sea.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Of Rings

When
Kora got home the next morning, she found Kansten amongst the clutter of
fabric, clothing, dolls, blocks, and balls in the sitting room. She was hunched
up in the corner, a book against her knees, staring at the far wall instead of
the open page. It was early, only nine o’clock, and the sun streaming through
the eastern windows lit the house with a glare that hurt Kora’s eyes.

Kansten
had never been much of a reader. She would rather do something active most
days, but she was feeling down again. Ryne’s snakebite had taken her mind from
herself, but now his recovery seemed certain, and she’d grown self-absorbed
once more. She was unsure whether she should talk to her mother about magic. A
part of her wanted to, but she worried Kora would grow angry with her for
trying to cast a spell.

When
Kansten heard someone walk in, she assumed it was her Grams. Kora called her
name instead, and the book slid off Kansten’s knees.

Kora
asked, “Where’s everyone else?”

“The
boys are outside with Grams—well, my brothers are, and Laskenay and
Tressa. Not the other boys. Dad’s at the smithy already. Everyone else is at
Uncle Zac’s.”

“So
what are you doing inside?”

“What
does it look like?”

“Kansten
Cason….”

Kansten
recognized the warning note in Kora’s voice. She sighed. “Fairytales. I’m
reading fairytales.”

“And
why is that?”

“I
didn’t feel like going out.”

Kora
tossed the book aside and took a seat by her eldest daughter. “What’s wrong?”
she asked.

“I
don’t want to talk about it.”

“I
think you should.”

“Well,
I don’t want to, and you don’t want to hear about it. You’re not feeling good.”

“I
feel much better now. That’s why I’m home again. So out with it, girl.”

Kora
smiled at her, which gave Kansten encouragement. She told about sneaking into
Uncle Zac’s office with Tommy, about finding the open spellbook and trying to
work an incantation.

“But
I couldn’t. I can’t do magic like I should.”

“You think there’s
something wrong with you because you should
be able to cast spells? Kancat, there’s no
should
about it. If magic isn’t one of your talents, then you’re not
meant to be a sorceress, that’s all. You have so many other gifts. You’re so
passionate.”

Kansten’s voice softened. “I’m not a disappointment?
You wouldn’t like me better if I could cast spells like you?”

Kora wrapped her
daughter in her arms. “Are you kidding? I love you so much, there’s no room in
my heart to love you more. It would have to explode if I tried. The most
powerful spell in the world couldn’t make me love you better, all right?”

“All right,” said
Kansten.

“How’d you like to try
one more time to cast a spell? Right now, with me? Just to make sure? You never
know. It’s possible you mispronounced a word, or…. Magic is subtle sometimes.
It’s fickle. Don’t get your hopes up, now. If you tried and failed, chances are
you can’t work magic. That would be just fine, it would, but I think we should
try together, to remove any doubt about the situation. What do you think?”

Kansten
shrugged in apathy. She knew she was no sorceress. “We can try, I guess. If you
want to.”

“Wait
here,” Kora said, and went to the kitchen. She returned with an unlit,
half-consumed taper in a candlestick. Kansten clambered to her feet, and Kora
placed the taper on her mother’s chair. “We’ll try to light it,” she said,
“using magic,” and pulled her daughter close. “You want to know a secret? This
was the first spell I ever cast.”

“You lit a candle?”

“I lit a book on fire,
accidentally. It was the book where I found the incantation. Can you imagine?”

Kora demonstrated the
spell; the taper lit, and she blew it out. Kansten repeated the incantation,
Fwaig Commenz
, three or four times,
gazing at the candle like her mother told her and concentrating as hard as she
could, so hard her head began to ache. No flame. The girl sniffled so as not to
cry, and her mother put a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m so jealous,” said
Kora. Her daughter looked up, confused. “Sorcery’s not all games and power, you
know. There have been times, lots of them, when I wished I couldn’t work magic
at all. I’d give almost anything not to have magic. I don’t want the
responsibility.”

“But why? Is that why
you don’t do magic anymore? Mom, you used to cast spells? If I could do magic,
I’d never wish that away.”

“It’s something you’ll
understand later in life. As for me, I can tell you more about my journey with
magic in a few years. You’re still a bit young right now. That’s why I wanted
you to wait to cast your first spells, you know: so I could tell you about how
magic’s affected my life at the same time. I had a reason. I wasn’t just trying
to annoy you, though it probably felt that way.”

“You’re mad at me.”

Kora took her
daughter’s hands in hers. “Not at all. Kancat, not at all. I’m not upset with
you. I wish you’d waited to try magic like I asked you to, that’s all.”

“You know what I
wish?” said the girl. “I wish I could experience magic. Could know what it’s
like to cast a spell, just once. Just one stinking time.”

The side of Kora’s lip
turned up in a devilish grin. “I’ll tell you what,” she said. “Why don’t you
run outside to Grams? Tell her you’re going by the back roads to the general
store, just to take a walk. Don’t mention I came back.”

Kansten looked
suspicious. “Why?”

“She’ll want to talk
to me, so don’t tell her I’m here. Come back inside, and if you promise not to
talk about it—you can’t tell your brothers, or your father, not
anyone—you and I can take a walk along the beach. We’ll travel there by
magic. I know it’ll be my magic, but I’ve transported by myself and I’ve tagged
along with others, and it feels exactly the same. You feel a little shocked, a little
winded, and your muscles ache for a second. We can spend some time together,
just you and me by the ocean, and then we’ll head back the same way, using
magic. It’ll be our secret. What do you think?”

“I think that’s
fantastic,” Kansten said.

Kora ruffled the
girl’s hair. “Run off to Grams, then. I’ll be in the kitchen when you come back
in.”

Kansten jumped to her
feet. A second later she was out the door, and Kora took a deep breath.

I
can’t believe she has no magic. It doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t even seem
possible, not after all the ways magic’s ruined me. Well, Kansten won’t have to
worry about such things. The stares, the hatred, the jealousy and fear, the
moral quagmires…. The Giver bless her, she won’t know any of that. At least she
won’t, if only her.

That another of her
children would be powerless, let alone all four, seemed too much to hope. But
Kansten, at least, could live a normal life, unlike her mother, torn from her
home by her sorcery. Unlike her uncle, who would go back to Herezoth and wind
up getting entwined with Rexson’s council; Kora foresaw that easily. Unlike
Vane, who as the only sorcerer-duke would suffer the scrutiny of the entire
kingdom from the moment he declared himself, and whose mere presence in the
court would embroil him in conflict. Kora could only hope the conflict would
remain political, that no one would try to harm the boy.

He’s
not a boy, he’s a man now. He’s got a heart like his mother. He’s determined to
take his proper place, and he’ll have the best ally I could ask for him in
Lanokas. He’s doing what he must, like Laskenay. Exactly like Laskenay. As much
as I’d like to, I can’t protect him any longer on her behalf.

Kora was exhausted.
She doubted she had slept three hours the night before, but she pushed herself
to her feet and went to the kitchen. She realized she had not eaten since the
previous evening. The jar of nuts on the top shelf was full, so she grabbed a
handful and chewed them absent-mindedly. She usually avoided nuts. They
reminded her of the Crimson League; nuts were one of the few victuals in vast,
cheap supply back then. They kept well and were easy to pack, and she and her
companions had eaten them almost daily.

Kansten skipped in,
grinning from ear to ear. “Let’s go,” she prodded.

“All right, you. Just
a moment,” said Kora.

I
can’t believe she’s not a sorceress, but I’m glad. For her own sake, I’m so
glad.

Kora put up the
nuts—she knew Ilana had fed the children breakfast—and took
Kansten’s hand. “This will be a bit tricky,” she told her daughter. “We’ll have
to transport someplace there won’t be people to see us appear. I know an area
close to the beach with lots of shrubs. I’ll take us there, all right? They’ll
hide us.”

“All right, all right!
Let’s go already.”

“Hold tight,” said
Kora, and she transported them near a patch of shrubbery back behind the tavern
where she had passed the night. When they got there, Kansten was red-faced and
breathing hard, as though she had just run a sprint or something had knocked
her in the chest. Her eyes, though, were bright and elated.

“That’s awesome,” she
panted. “Awesome. We were just at home. Now we’re…. Where are we, Mom?”

“Just a couple short
blocks from the beach.”

Kora led her daughter
around the building, a sturdy wooden shack of sorts, and together they reached
the shoreline in no time at all. The morning was chilly for August, and
overcast, so the beach was mostly deserted. Mother and daughter walked in the
opposite direction than Kora had taken the previous night, toward a circular
stone building just inland of the coast that everyone called the Ring. It was
the summer palace of Traigland’s royals and famous for its courtyard, which
boasted an artificial pond and a greenhouse. When Kansten saw the structure,
she stopped short.

“What is it?” Kora asked
her.

“I’ve never been to
this part of the beach before.”

“You’ve never seen the
Ring?”

“Mom, it’s incredible.
I love it. I’d love to….”

“Live there?” Kora
laughed. “I think we all would.”

“I’d love to build
something like that.”

Kora did a double
take. “Really?”

“I never knew
buildings didn’t have to be square. I’ve only seen our neighborhood, the houses
and the stores there, and they’re all so ordinary. They’re all the same,
really. But that…. Mom, I’d love to build that, to design something that special,
buildings like no one’s made before. What do you call someone who does that?”

“An architect.”

“I want to be an
architect. If I can’t be a sorceress, I want to be an architect.”

Kora smiled. “You’ll
have to work hard at math for that.”

“Math’s my favorite subject
at school. It’s fun. It’s like a puzzle.”

“You’ll have to go to
the university, to the capital. That’s a long way from home, and they don’t let
many girls study there.”

“They’ll let me study.
I won’t let them tell me no.”

“As far as I know, they’ve
never let a girl in. Not for that kind of training.”

“Really?” Kansten’s
face fell. “Mom, but why? That’s not fair.” She kicked the sand. “Nothing’s
fair! Nothing’s….”

“That doesn’t mean you
shouldn’t dream, or that you shouldn’t try as hard as you can to study in
Traigland City. You should do your best in school, and I know you will. You’re
dedicated when you care about something. That’s one of the qualities I love
most about you. Sometimes, though, you can do everything the right way and
things don’t happen like you want them to. No matter how determined you are,
they just don’t happen. You know that now. Not having magic taught you that,
because you want magic more than anything, don’t you?”

The girl nodded, her face
serious, and Kora continued. “I’m sorry, Kancat. I’m sorry that no matter how
many spells you memorize, you can’t make yourself a sorceress. I think that’s
what’s really upset you the past few days. It’s not that you aren’t a sorceress
right now. It’s that you’ll never be able to become one. And that’s all right.
You’ll learn to accept you don’t have magic, and if acceptance takes time,
that’s all right too. It hasn’t been an easy lesson, has it? None of us likes
to admit that sometimes, for some things, all the wishing and working and dedication
in the world, it’s just not enough.” Kora sighed. “It can’t bring you where you
want to go.”

“That’s why fairytales
are dumb,” said Kansten. “They’re dumb. They lie. Everyone who’s good gets what
they want at the end.”

“You listen to me: you
might not be a sorceress, but you can get what you want. You can make good
things happen for yourself and for other people, too. If you want to be an
architect, then be one. If they don’t let you study in the capital, find a
working architect to take you on, to teach you what he knows. Or you could
teach yourself, from books. That’s hard, very hard, but it’s possible. If this
remains your dream, don’t let it go because you’ll have obstacles.”