The Magic Queen (5 page)

A thread of black ice skated down Baba’s spine. What exactly had that look meant?

The goddesses laughed at an inside joke only the two of them seemed to share. The rest of them looked at each other unblinkingly, all of them seeming to be as confused as Baba herself.

Calypso rolled her eyes. “The games aren’t rigged. I promise. I’ve even brought Themis along to keep us honest.”

Suddenly, the air tightened, and another woman appeared before them: the blind goddess of justice herself dressed in jeans, a t-shirt that read Mötley Crüe with the stenciled image of a flaming skull on it. Her blond hair hung long down her back. She waved back at them shyly. Her cataract-blinded eyes zoomed in on each of their faces. The effect might have been eerie for the others, but for Baba Yaga, it felt almost like a little bit of home. And just because she felt like it, she actually waved back at Blindy.

“Hi,” Themis said shyly then glanced at Calypso and Dite with a look of expectations met on her face. “That’s it right? I can go now?”

Aphrodite rolled her eyes and sighed in exasperation. “Yes, Them, you can go now.” And just like that, Justice fled. Baba envied her.

“So here’s the dealio, girls—” Calypso began.

The first time Baba had met her, the goddess had confused her. She talked in a style that was the very opposite of what she was used to. She’d soon learned that the goddess, who was both incredibly ancient and also young in many ways—as she’d never lived as a human for the first fifty billion years or so of her life, give or a take a few million—had learned to speak under the tutelage of her daughter-in-law, Nimue, who just so happened to be half Earthling.

Earthlings spoke mostly like baboons. That was to say, they were rather stupid, the lot of them. So it was no big surprise that Caly sounded stupid herself. Not her fault really. You get trained like a monkey, eventually you learned to sound like one too.

“Baba, I don’t think you paid attention to anything I just said,” Calypso said sternly, eyeing her hard.

Baba cringed, hoping today was not the day she’d meet her demise. Instead of lying, she shrugged and gave the goddess sorry eyes.

“Hm. N-E-way,” Calypso stressed, rolling her wrist. “I said that in a few minutes, you’ll find your companions. We’ll be rolling them out here for your viewing pleasure. Now, we won’t tell you which is yours. You’ll have to follow the instincts inside you.”

What. The. Hell
. Baba blinked but wisely kept the rest of her thoughts to herself.

“After that,” Aphrodite cut in, “we’ll give you all a few days to get to learn the lay of your land. Each world we created for each of you is vastly different and suited to your particular quest.”

Baba’s skin broke out in goose pimples. She was too damned old for this nonsense.

“Once we’ve determined that you’ve had enough time to get to know your male, that’s when things really get fun.” Calypso beamed.

Aphrodite nodded. “Yes. So basically, you’ll be trapped in there until each and every one of you has secured your mates.”

“Fall in love,” Caly interjected, as though Baba wasn’t smart enough to figure out what that meant.

The horse neighed. But since she was a horse, neither goddess could put a hex on her ass, because hey...horses had to neigh sometimes. Of course, the centaur queen was half human, and no doubt that neigh had been one of disgust, but tomatoe, toe-maa-toe.

Baba smirked, liking the horse a little bit more.

“But really, we’ve got lives, people and husbands to bang, so this is gonna be on a time limit. A month max. If you don’t secure your male by that point, we’ll punish him—”

Oh, well, that didn’t sound too bad, to be honest. Baba would just let it drag out until then, and—

“And kill you.” Caly said it in such a way that she might have been talking about the weather. That’s how disinterested she’d sounded.

At that, Baba was pretty sure all jaws dropped. That’d been cold, even for goddesses notorious for outlandish behavior. Fable shook her head. Fiera tossed her sister a withering glare.

“Well, not you two, I suppose. Family should come with some perks,” Calypso said.

Baba gnashed her teeth.
Insufferable, arrogant assholes
!

Aphrodite laughed. “Well, that’s a new one, Baba. Seriously. Did you think we’ve set you up to fail? Of course not. It’s why we’ve given you all temporary familiars, though not the ones you’re used to. Don’t want any favoritism or meddling to try and make a win happen. They’ll each give you your very best chance at victory during each trial.”

Calypso nodded. “And it won’t all be war all the time. I mean, if it was, how could your possibly get your bow-chika-wow-wows on? Amiright?” She winked at Dite, who chuckled back.

“Obviously.”

That was it. Baba hated them. And she was so over
this
.

“Unfortunately, there’s a no back-out clause. The second you landed in our world, you agreed to the terms and conditions of this world.”

Baba rubbed her brow, feeling a raging headache coming on.

“So...” Dite looked at Caly and gave a minute shake of her head, as though to ask, “Anything else?”

Suddenly, the air tightened again. Blindy was back and seriously frowning. “Kill them?”

Both goddesses looked at each other. “Of course,” Dite said with a nod.

Calypso tossed up her hands as if to say, “obviously.”

“No.” Themis shook her head and hand then pinched the bridge of her nose and gave a long-suffering sigh, the kind of sigh that let Baba know Justice had been down this very same road with these two silly goddesses a time or twenty.

“Aw, Them.” Dite pouted prettily. “Don’t spoil the games. I thought you were on board with the whole off-with-her-head bit.”

Baba liked Themis just a little bit better when Justice turned to look at the lot of them and rolled her eyes. “No, ladies. Sorry. Killing’s off the table.”

Calypso planted her hands on her hips. “Well, how else are we supposed to impress upon them to hurry up and fall in love or else?”

“Now, this I can help you with.” Themis padded toward the other two, gathered them into a huddle, and whispered something low.

It wasn’t so much the whispering that got on Baba’s last nerve, but the high-pitched cackling that accompanied it. Cackling was her domain. And being on the receiving end of it pretty much blew.

None of the other girls grumbled, but a definite air of tension was starting to fester.

“Does that suit?” Themis asked loud enough that they all heard.

The other two nodded, and Dite spoke up. “Yes. We like it.”

The three goddesses wore satisfied smiles as Calypso said, “That’s it, I think.”

Fiera flung a fiery bolt at her sister’s backside, causing Calypso to yelp and rub at it, glaring hotly at her sister.

“No, we’re not telling you yet!” Calypso gave her sister an imperious look. “But I promise you this. It would be far easier on you all if you would do as you’re told and fall in love. Don’t be the last couple out, or trust me, this will be no fun.”

Baba had always prided herself on her twisted idea of fun, but she’d come to the realization that the goddesses far surpassed her in that department.

Themis held up a finger. “A wrinkle has been added to the games. I promise there will be no killings. But”—she paused for dramatic effect— “do not think to fool us by faking your love. Aphrodite will be able to see right through any sham—”

Well, there went Baba’s second strategy. Bloody hell, she was going to be the last person in the games. She just knew it.

“Also,” Themis pressed on, “each of you will have to solve a riddle to help you win your game. Falling in love isn’t the only task at hand.”

Baba wrinkled her nose, not understanding what in the world that meant. A task? A riddle? What kind of bloody damn riddle were they talking about here?

Calypso shrugged and rolled her wrist airily. “The riddle will be different for each of you, based...let’s say on personality types, and leave it at that.” She winked.

If they’d been mortal, Baba was pretty sure she’d have killed them by now.

Calypso beamed and stretched out her arms. “So basically, have fun guys. And now here’s the best part: the males!”

Like they were in some bad play, the two women turned and clapped loudly. And no doubt, there was magick in the air because the ringing of thousands of applauding hands echoed through the empty woods.

A ring of men magically appeared in front of them, bathed in shadow so it wasn’t easy to tell who was who or even who was what. There was definitely something padding along on four legs. But maybe not. Baba couldn’t quite be sure. Every shadow blobby thing was big and bulky and probably some impressively built Adonis of meat.

One shadow in particular caught Baba’s eye. He was off to the right and seemed much shorter than the rest of them. Either that or he was sitting. She hoped he was sitting anyway and not some misshapen clump of flesh and bones because that would be just like those ridiculous petty gods to gift one of them with a sack of meat and call it a mate. She snorted and crossed her arms. Squatty could just rot for all she cared. She wasn’t running up there. And it seemed that everyone else felt as she did because not a one of them budged.

“We covered them so that you wouldn’t pick based on looks alone. But they’re all hotties, I swear!” Calypso laughed, urging them to come forward.

Baba looked at Rayale who stood to the very right of her. Rayale shook her head with a look that spoke volumes.
Hell. No
.

Baba reached up a fist, which Rayale bumped in solidarity.

“Oh, and you only have an hour to choose. After that, we’ll cut off your right arm,” Aphrodite said grumpily, sounding the tiniest bit put out.

Well, tough titties. It was about time these insufferable goddesses got a taste of their own medicine. Baba had been put out the moment that stupid crow had landed on her shrieking shack. It was really hard to say whether the women were really this savage or only joking, but the threat caused the others to make a dash for their men, grabbing whatever they could get their hands on.

The moment they did, they vanished, no doubt whisked away to their own versions of hell. Baba, though...she could give a rat’s ass about this game. Or the rules. Or that stupid, insufferable male. The last one standing and clearly not just a blob of flesh and bones had his head bowed and waited patiently for her to go grab him. Instead, she sat down cross-legged, brushed her fingers over her pendant, and called forth an apple. She hadn’t eaten this morning.

Aphrodite and Calypso looked at her agog, as though unable to believe that she’d actually sit and eat rather than grab her sack of meat.

“Seriously?” Aphrodite shook her head and pointed a thumb over her shoulder. “He’s right there, Baba. Go get him.”

In answer, she munched on her apple, taking out a huge chunk and chomping on it like a cow masticating cud.

“I’m hungry,” she answered, realizing her tongue had finally come unglued from the roof of her mouth.

The goddesses bent their heads, whispering animatedly. For her part, she didn’t much care. She’d lost a limb before. They grew back. Big deal. Baba took her time, savoring the sweetness, the crunchiness, of the apple. And once she finished that one and the goddesses looked back at her with now-are-you-ready faces, she called forth another.

She shook it at them. “Still hungry.”

“Baba Yaga!” Dite stomped her foot. “You’re not playing by the terms of the game.”

She sighed long and loud. “You gave me an hour, right?”

The male, who she’d almost completely forgotten about at this point, let out a small hint of laughter. The sound of it was rich and deep and potently masculine. Against her will, her own lips twitched because she realized that he was actually enjoying her sass.
Interesting turn of events that
.

Calypso gave her eyes that clearly said, “See? We told you.” But Baba chose to ignore it. Instead she munched her way through not only that apple, but another, and even one more.

“Five minutes left, you insufferable witch!” Dite snapped, temper clearly frayed and eyes wild as she glanced over at Calypso.

Burping loudly, Baba tossed the final core over her shoulder. If she’d had room for more, she’d have kept eating. But she was stuffed. Getting to her feet, she dusted off her curvy backside and gave them both an innocent stare. “Well, I guess I’m done now. And since I’ve no desire to lose my right arm just yet, I’ll just be snatching up my sack of meat.”

The male snorted. This time, his laughter rumbled so deeply that it moved through her bones like thunder. He was a potent one. She’d give him that. Baba recalled the goddesses mentioning he’d be a god himself. Curious for the first time, she sashayed her way to him and grabbed hold of the tip of the shadow engulfing him.

Instantly, a wash of incredible power sparked through the tips of her finger and a voice that could only be inside of her head spoke loudly. “You have chosen correctly.” She recognized the dulcet tone as belonging to Themis.

Winds roared through the canopy of trees, and bits of brambles and dried twigs smacked her in the cheeks. Aphrodite and Calypso groaned in unison. “’Bout time. Let’s go.”

Baba almost laughed at the sound of their exhaustion. She may have gloated a little too, if it weren’t the for the fact that she felt as though she’d been snatched up and tossed unceremoniously into the eye of a tornado. She bounced head over feet, whirling and twirling in every direction, growing more and more disoriented by the shifting lights and the cacophonous noises.

A few minutes later, she was unceremoniously tossed out like last night’s garbage. She landed on her butt, legs and arms splayed and staring up at a darkened night sky riddled with winking stars and a bright red moon. There were no trees, no hills, just flat, ugly terrain. Her vision of the moon was obscured by vibrant, glowing blue eyes that looked as though they’d sucked all the starlight into them, leaving none behind for the night.

Her heart gave an irregular bump in her chest as she grew momentarily dazzled. The man was every dark fantasy she’d ever had breathed to life. His sun-kissed golden hair, even in the thick of night, seemed to glow around a face so perfectly made it looked sculpted from marble. Long, patrician nose. Razor sharp jaw line. Wide, full lips that curved into a wicked, sexy grin. But it was his eyes that continued to draw her gaze.