‘No, Mak, don’t say that. Say what you want, but just don’t say it was a mistake. I don’t think it was a mistake at all.’ Her brow was pinched. ‘You don’t believe me about Carol,’ he said.
‘If you’re telling me that nothing was going on with her today, then I have to believe you. I trust you. It’s just that this is all a bit sudden. You were involved with someone else. I don’t want to get in the way.’
‘In the way! Carol and I aren’t together any more, I’m telling you.’
‘And when did you break up? Today?’
She had him there.
‘I thought I should tell her in person…’ he faltered.
‘Do you see what I mean?’ Her eyes were glittery now, her cheeks flushed. ‘It seems like every time we get together, something happens. Like today when I saw you with Carol. And like that phone call a couple of months ago when you said
you wanted to see other people. I don’t think it should be like this.’
‘Wait…did you just say that
I
said we should see other people?’ Andy asked, surprised.
‘Well, yes.’
You’ve got to be kidding me.
That wasn’t how he remembered it. He thought
she
was the one who’d suggested they see other people. Hadn’t she said it first? Was it another of their damn misunderstandings? She must have thought he suggested it just so that he could be free to date Carol. No wonder she was hurt when she saw them together.
Andy felt his body tense up with frustration. He was angry, though not really at Makedde. It had not exactly been a smooth road for them, not by anyone’s standards. He supposed that was what he was pissed off about the most. They had such bad luck together. It wasn’t fair. He paced the hotel room, frowning. What was he supposed to say to her? ‘I’m sorry’? For what? He couldn’t beg. That wasn’t in his repertoire, and besides, he doubted it would have much effect on her. And he hadn’t done anything wrong!
She
suggested they see other people, and he had. Or at least that was how he remembered the conversation. And then he was meant to feel guilty about it after she had suggested it herself? And when he tried to do the right thing and break it off with Carol in person, he got to be a bad guy for that too?
Bloody hell.
He stretched up and pressed his hands against the wall. It was all he could do to stop
himself from punching a hole in the plaster. He’d tried to get over Makedde before, but he could never quite get her off his mind. It scared him sometimes. And if she left now he knew he was going to suffer over her worse than ever.
‘Can I call you tonight?’ he asked.
‘How about tomorrow? Is that okay?’
A cooling-off period. Great.
‘Sure.’ What could he say?
If there was one thing he wanted to change in that moment, it was for him to be able to find the right words for once. He had never been good at stuff like that.
‘I can’t win a trick,’ Andy said, feeling miserable and already visualising a bottle of Jack Daniels with dangerous clarity. ‘I can’t win one single measly trick.’
Jimmy grinned from one side of his mouth, as if the news were somehow amusing to him. He rubbed his dark stubble, eyes sparkling mischievously. ‘So you did
what
with Carol while Mak was watching?’
‘Nothing, that’s what,’ Andy insisted. ‘I was just talking to her. She might have kissed me on the cheek or something, I think. Or maybe it was on the lips. I can’t remember.’
‘Uh huh. In front of Mak?’
‘And Mahoney. She said it looked like we were snogging each other.’
‘Hmmm. I want your life, I really do. The supermodel, the sexy nurse and the policewoman. I could get used to that.’
Andy wasn’t in the mood for Jimmy’s quips.
‘I reckon you’re fucked.’
‘Thanks. No really, thank you so much for your encouragement.’
‘You’re going to chase after her?’
‘I’m not chasing anyone,’ Andy said. ‘I just need to talk to her. What really shits me is that everything was going fine,
more than fine
, until she saw me with Carol. What a fluke. I can’t win a trick, honestly. I wasn’t even trying to get away with anything.’
‘Now, if you were kissing ’em both at the same time you’d be a legend.’ Jimmy thought a bit more. ‘Or if you got them to kiss each other, like Britney and Madonna. Mmmm, now that’s—’
‘Get fucked.’
Jimmy was on a roll, inspired by Andy’s predicament. ‘I’d love to get fucked,’ he went on, ‘but the old lady’s got me rooting her by appointment. It’s all, “Don’t touch me!” and then, “Do the deed now,” and legs in the air for half an hour afterwards. We didn’t have to do all this crap for the first three. My momma, bless her,’ he crossed himself, ‘popped the five of us out like she was shellin’ peas. Nothin’ to it.’
At least he had changed the subject.
‘So tell me about today,’ Andy said.
‘Yeah, you’ll love this. Guess where Ed leads us?’
‘I know, a petrol station. I heard,’ Andy told him.
‘Can you believe that shit?’ Jimmy threw his hands in the air.
‘It’s original, I have to admit, and no, I don’t believe it. He says he buried this girl deep? Pretty convenient at a petrol station where we’re going to need a ground-penetrating radar system to find anything. And since when does he bury his victims instead of leaving them in a heap under some brush?’
Now Jimmy rubbed his stomach, as if craving some unseen gyros or an ice-cream sundae. ‘I dunno, Andy. I dunno. All I know is I can’t wait to see the last of this fuckin’
malaka.
He makes my arse itch.’
‘What also bothers me,’ Andy said, ‘is that I can’t figure his reasons for confessing in the first place. He doesn’t seem the type. Did that seem like classic bragging rights to you? Myself, I’m not so sure.’
Jimmy rooted around in the top drawer of his desk and fished out a chocolate bar. He ripped it open with his teeth and started to gnaw on it. Once he had eaten most of it, he offered Andy the stubby remnant. Andy declined. ‘The guy’s a freak but you said yourself that he ain’t so dumb,’ Jimmy observed between mouthfuls. ‘He must’ve known he was fucked. If this was Texas they’d fry him a dozen times just for the hell of it. He’s campaigning for a better sentence.’
Andy didn’t think that was the answer. He knew the cockiness of the average psychopath was boundless. All the evidence and guilt in the world couldn’t get them down because they think they’re invincible.
‘Any clue about what’s next?’
‘First we check out the story about the petrol station, then they throw away the key—I hope. We should know in the next few hours.’
‘Why confess and then lead you to a body dump if it’s a crock? What could he be trying to achieve?’ Andy asked, thinking out loud.
‘Jerking us around, that’s what. He’s just taking us for one last ride. Maybe his lawyer talked him into confessing and this is his way of fucking us around for a thrill. His swan song.’
‘I’m not convinced. Granger looked pretty shocked. Did you see his face?’
Ed’s QC
had
looked shocked, along with everyone else in the courtroom. Andy doubted very much that Granger had known what Ed was about to do. Perhaps even Ed himself hadn’t known that he was going to do it? Andy wished he had seen it first hand.
‘Well, we ain’t gonna know much until we get back the info on that petrol station. If it’s been round for much more than four years we can happily hand him back to the judge and they can forget getting any special privileges from anyone, except maybe Big Bert.’ Jimmy took the last bite of his chocolate bar. ‘Yup, Big Bert’s always got somethin’ special for lady killers.’
He smiled chocolate.
Suzie Harpin carefully slid her key into the lock, struggling while balancing her precious cargo. She looked over her left shoulder and noticed with satisfaction that the lines of shrubs down the driveway effectively masked her from the view of the street. She had a story worked out for the neighbours, but still, she preferred privacy. Privacy was always best, especially if she decided to move her brother at some point.
The box she held fluttered and scraped. A chirp. A quiver. The delicate noises lifted Suzie’s heart. ‘You’re almost home, Rose,’ she said. ‘Almost home.’ Without further delay she turned the key and pushed the door open with her foot. She would have to come down again to collect the other things from the car. Once inside the house, Suzie made immediately for the kitchen counter to set her things down. Excited, she shoved the groceries to one side, and with a great rush of maternal emotion opened the shoebox just a touch to peer inside. She couldn’t wait any longer.
Agapornis roseicollis.
‘Hello, Rose. Welcome to your new home,’ she said to her newly purchased red and green peachface lovebird. The creature stared at her with shiny, fearful eyes. She shut the box and gently stroked the lid. ‘Good girl.’
Suzie scuttled over to a bell-shaped cage, which took pride of place in the centre of her brand-new living room. A black cloth lay over it. She lifted the cloth slowly, and frowned when she saw the dead lovebird on the bottom of the cage inside. It looked impossibly small and frail. The pretty colours had faded, the little eyes sealed shut. This bird had never quite lived up to her promise and beauty, and now she was gone. She had become unresponsive in the days before her death, sitting puffed up and inert, refusing food and water, her feathers turning dull. The move to her new, luxurious home had not helped at all. Suzie knew the breed well, and had seen it before. Thankfully, Irving, Suzie’s pet-shop owner, had been able to provide a new one right away. She had hoped for a Danish violet white face, considered one of the most beautiful of the peachface mutations, but this new bird was available and she took it. She wanted everything in the house to be right for her new life there, and that meant little Rose sitting prettily on her perch.
Suzie had a particular affection for lovebirds. For the past two decades she had always kept one as a pet, and they had always been called Rose, the name which Suzie, as a pregnant teenager, had chosen for her unborn daughter. Some of her birds
had been male, some female, but the name remained the same. This was her twentieth ‘Rose’.
Suzie scooped the dead lovebird out of the cage into a plastic shopping bag. She took it outside, down the staircase and into the carport, and placed it in the garbage bin. Tomorrow would be collection day.
Once back inside, Suzie changed out of her uniform and slipped on her fleecy spotted pyjamas and slippers, which were lying across her new bed. On the bedside table, awaiting her further study, was a copy of
The Anarchist’s Cookbook.
She would get back to that later.
With growing excitement, she made her way back to her new pet.
‘Rose, darling, welcome.’
The tiny bird was frightened, of course. That was to be expected. When she let it out of the box, it flew frantically around the cage where the other had been, losing small tufts of green feather. Suzie locked the cage carefully and spoke to Rose through the tiny bars. ‘Sweetheart, it’s okay. This is your new home.
Our
new home. Daddy will be here soon.’ She quickly changed the food and water and threw the black blanket back over the cage. Rose would soon go to sleep and then she would be fine, just fine. She would adjust quickly to her new environment. They always did.
With her lovebird installed, Suzie looked around and considered what else needed to be done. This was the first day she would be sleeping at the house. Initially she’d thought she would hold off until she could share her love nest with her other
half, as a newly married couple will sometimes wait to sleep in their marital home together as man and wife. But with all the final touches that had to be attended to, it was impractical to return to her Malabar apartment before having to start work again in just nine hours. Suzie would get as much done as possible, and then have a quick sleep in her bed, she had decided. She would still be saving the master bedroom for them to sleep in together once they were married. That was good.
Suzie was excited. When she woke from her nap, she would be so near the end of her loneliness. It would come like a Christmas she had waited her whole life for. Her time would finally have arrived.
Her
time.
What about Brooke and Ridge?
Suzie looked over at the VCR. It had finished recording. Perhaps first, before any work, she should watch the latest episode of
The Bold And The Beautiful
? Ben had an impressive, state-of-the-art VCR that she had quickly learned to program. She would never have to miss an episode again. Now she could watch the show first, and then replay it while she unpacked the photo frames and ornaments still in the car downstairs, adding those important personal touches to the house. She had some candles she wanted to set up, and some oil-burners. She wondered what else might please him. What kind of food did he like best? What sort of music?
Yes, she would watch her show and think about Ed while she unpacked. She deserved that special treat after all the hard work she had done.
‘Hey Dad, how are you?’
‘Mak, is that you?’ He sounded groggy.
‘I’m sorry it’s so late.’ Mak looked at her watch and frowned. It would be past midnight on Vancouver Island.
‘You can call any time, you know that.’
Mak gripped the phone and closed her eyes. She sat alone in bed with the sheets pulled up high, feeling the weight of her loneliness. She knew she should be happy about the court confession, that it should be enough to make her feel elated, but an unknown dread had begun to settle in the pit of her stomach.
‘Is anything wrong?’ Les asked.
‘No, everything’s fine. I miss you, that’s all.’
Something felt wrong. Perhaps it was only her father’s suggestion, but Ed’s conviction really was beginning to feel too good to be true. What he had said was playing on her mind. She didn’t know what to do about Andy, either. If they got involved again, what should she expect? The same roller-coaster of misunderstandings and emotional baggage they had battled on and off since they had
met? They lived on opposite sides of the world and they couldn’t try to date long-distance. Their last experience had proved that. It would have to be all or nothing.