The guy laid another menu on the other side of the table then left. The place was pristine: soft lighting, piano music and autumn-coloured fl owers on every table. People were dressed to the nines, so I must have looked like I was playing dress-up. Another guy showed up with bread in a basket and a pitcher of ice water, just like she’d said. He asked if I wanted a wine menu. I said sure. He came back and presented the menu like it was the biggest deal in the world to give someone a menu. I tried not to smile too much.
“Would you like recommendations?”
“Actually, I’m waiting for someone; I’ll wait for her.”
He left, and I sat there. What did I know about wine? I checked out the dinner menu: no prices. Anyway, I was having bread and water. My cock went stiff. Then my phone vibrated in my pocket. Micah. I hit ignore. Waited some more. I’d stay hungry all night. A woman appeared at the front of the restaurant: tall and narrow and older, black hair. I knew who she was and got scared.
Her name was Ivo. She had hair like Uma Thurman’s in
Pulp Fiction,
smooth and blunt and black. She was older than me. I don’t know how old: ageless. Her face killed me. Strong mouth, small nose, crooked teeth when she smiled, eyes like sky through an icy window. Crow’s feet and freckles.
I’d never seen a woman less perfect or more gorgeous my whole life.
Reason I got scared that night: I’d go through with it. That’s why. Up until that moment, no one had given me what I’d wanted, and as soon as I saw Ivo in the restaurant, full glory, in motion, I knew she’d give me what I wanted, and it was like when a person who was supposed to happen in your life was about to happen and then you knew your life would change for ever, and I’d do anything she wanted even if it turned out I’d be stripped of all my secrets, games up, make-believe, pretension, shot to oblivion.
“Did you always do what your mother told you?” she asked at the table, hand around a glass of white wine. Something bitter she’d said, with bite.
“I tried.”
“Teachers?”
“Pretty much.”
“What about lovers?” She ordered pasta with grilled salmon and a white dill sauce. Ivo ate everything put in front of her. Her mouth gleamed from the sauce and wine and from her licking her lips.
“Well . . . I’ve only had a few. But the girls I’ve known, they never told me what to do, they always asked me, what do
you
want to do?”
“How’d you feel about that?” Later, Ivo asked for a dessert menu. She ordered sorbet. My stomach gurgled with serious intensity. I felt light-headed too.
“Bored, I guess, not happy.”
“If I tell you what to do will it make you happy?” The way she spooned the sorbet into her mouth, you would have thought it was the best thing ever to happen to her. I wanted to lick her bowl, the inside of her mouth if she let me.
“Absolutely.”
“Even if it hurts?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because . . . it’s hard to put into words.”
“Try.”
“I’m not a strong person.”
“You’re not?”
“Well I don’t
feel
strong. I feel more like . . . I don’t know what I’m trying to say.”
“You feel more like a girl?”
I laughed a little. “Hmm. I don’t know. Maybe. If feeling like a girl means feeling subservient. I know there are, you know, women who aren’t subservient, who are strong and in control, and I’ve tried to find them, you know, because I want to be in a situation where I’m a guy but not in control, because feeling helpless turns me on. A woman hurting me, demeaning me, using me, turns me on. Fuck.” I put my face in my hands. I’d never articulated it before like that and now . . . Bam. “I want you to rip off my guise like when the school nurse ripped off a bandage once and all the fucking skin came off, and I could see my own flesh.” I shuddered.
“Tyler, that’s . . .”
“Dumb? I fucking know.” I stared at my hands, dizzy or something.
“Honey,” she said. “Look at me.”
I did. And my vision cleared for one stark moment.
“Don’t cut me off again.” And then Ivo hit me in the face and everything swam.
When I could see again, Ivo motioned for the bill. Men at other tables looked at her. She ignored them. My stomach churned like you wouldn’t believe. I grabbed a piece of bread and chewed on it to calm the churning. I had to shift in my seat to give my boner as much room as possible, although it was suffocating in there, and the men in the restaurant looked at me like I was a joke or a fucking riddle.
What the fuck is she doing with him?
But the women, they smiled. Ivo reached across the table and took my hand. I felt heat all the way up my arm. She told me to wait outside.
That was the night I saw a shooting star, standing outside the restaurant; I mean the sky was full of stars and this one bolted, took a dive. It was beautiful; I almost cried. I saw Ivo through a window. She spoke to a man. He was distinguished looking or whatever, more the type you’d think she’d be with, and when the man put his hand on her arm then leaned over to kiss her ear or something I thought, That’s right, I’m chopped liver, and then I stood there like she’d told me, and Ivo pulled away from the man.
Meanwhile couples came out of the restaurant; the men would speak to a valet while the women glanced at me.
Ivo came out. I stood with my hands in my pockets. “Hi,” I said.
“Hi yourself.” She let one side of her mouth curl. Like a sneer. Like she hated me. Then her eyes lit up. “Come here.”
I went.
“Closer,” she said.
I got closer, an inch away. Ivo tilted her head. I tasted the wine on her breath, the pasta. I felt heat. My hands itched to touch her. Anything.
“Never mind,” she said.
Ivo’s apple-cider smell brushed past me. Ivo was across the room again. She told me to look at her. I did. She walked back and forth a few feet away, and her body became a musical as she dropped her clothes on the floor and swayed like a cattail in a breeze; her skin reflected light while her eyes burned like the blue on a flame.
“Fuck,” I said. “You’re amazing.”
When Ivo opened her mouth, one side curled back further than the other, and I caught a glint of sharp tooth before she said, “You ass.” Ivo was closer to me now; I reached for her, one second of cool smooth flesh, her narrow, boyish hip, and then she turned on me screaming. “Prick!” She wailed on me full throttle, palms across my head and face.
“Fuck, sorry, I shouldn’t have touched you, sorry.”
I dropped to the floor. I liked this game, a lot. My face felt like army ants had gone at it, and my ears rang. Meanwhile, my cock throbbed so much I thought, This particular boner is never going away; it’s fucking permanent.
Ivo smiled at me. “Tyler, take off your shirt.”
I did.
“You have a beautiful body, so skinny. Open your pants.”
I did.
“Let me see it.”
I pulled my cock out. Already oozing pre-come.
“Sit over there.”
I sat.
“You know what you’re going to do for me?”
“No.” I shook my head, holding my cock.
“You’re going to take that friend of yours, Micah, to a hotel.”
I swallowed. “OK.” I noticed a flush spreading across Ivo’s chest.
“I’m going to meet you there later.”
“That sounds good.”
Ivo smiled, one side of her mouth, showing me that tooth again – one hell of an incisor. “I want to watch Micah fuck you, Ty.”
“You do?” At this point my cock had gone so stiff it was like a body with rigor mortis. I was terrified and turned on beyond belief.
“Jerk yourself off.”
I did. Ivo sat on a table in front of the chair where I sat; she opened her legs, so I saw wiry hair, meaty pink cunt lips. I stared at her, swallowing, using my hand on my cock. “Slower,” she said. I slowed down. “Faster,” she said. I got a cramp in my elbow. Her nipples were hard. The flush had spread to her neck and face.
“I’m going to come, is that OK?”
“No,” Ivo said.
I took my hand away from my cock then sucked in a breath.
Ivo slid her hand over her cunt. With one finger she moved the meaty lips around and then open. I watched her sink one fingernail into her cunt, and then her finger disappeared up to her knuckle. Ivo closed her eyes. “Jerk yourself off,” she said.
I started again.
“Want to fuck me, Ty?”
“Fuck, yeah.”
I watched Ivo fuck herself with her finger. She pulled it out after a while then rubbed her clit in tight, concentrated circles.
“I want to fuck you,” I said. “Can I fuck you?” I was about to blow.
“Stop,” Ivo said. She opened her eyes, glacial bright. She moved her finger over her clit and stared in my eyes.
“Fuck,” I said “Fuck.” I gripped the sides of the chair. A drop of come oozed free of my cockhead.
“I’m coming,” Ivo said. Her body gave one definitive shudder.
She arrived in the hotel room: leather pants and a white shirt you could see her nipples through. She had tight tits and quarter-sized nipples. Right away I caught my breath. Her lips were the colour of blood when the scab comes off, wet and bright. The rest of her face was pale and freckled, crinkles around her eyes. She’d tucked her hair behind her ears. She had big ears, actually. No jewellery. Ivo regarded us without a word. The air became humid with what I guessed you’d call sexual tension.
Micah stared at her, looked at me. I met his eyes. “Feel her power, dude?”
“Yeah.”
I went to my knees. This was the night of all nights. Micah swallowed so hard I saw the lump in his throat bob. “What are you waiting for?” Ivo said to him.
Micah looked at me then seemed to register I was on my knees. He knelt too.
Ivo walked around the room. She inspected the empty champagne bottle Micah had left in the ice bucket. “Did you enjoy it?”
Micah nodded then met my eyes again. Ivo looked at me.
“Take off your clothes, Ty.”
I remained kneeling as I took everything off. There I was, skinny and naked.
“Stand up,” Ivo said. We both did. “Not you,” she told Micah.
He dropped to his knees again.
“Bend over,” Ivo told me.
After a minute I did.
“Did you hesitate?”
“Yeah, sorry.”
“Look at me.”
I met her eyes. Two pools of ice in a snowdrift. Ivo hit me so hard in the face one side felt as if it had split like ice over a pond.
“Shit,” Micah said.
“Shut up,” Ivo told him.
I looked at Micah through water in my eyes. He had his hand over his crotch.
“Let’s try again,” Ivo said. “Bend over.”
I did. My cock throbbed like a stubbed toe.
“Open your ass for me, Ty.”
I pulled my ass cheeks apart. I felt her move closer; she burned me there with her eyes until my own vision blurred as I stared at my feet.
“You’d like your friend Micah here to fuck you in the ass, wouldn’t you?”
I bit the inside of my arm then said it. “Yeah.” Good thing I couldn’t see Micah. Had no idea how’d he feel about what I’d just said.
“I’d like that,” Ivo said. “And you’ll do it for me, won’t you?” I knew she spoke to Micah, but I didn’t hear him answer. I felt Ivo touch my ass cheek. She rubbed it in a circle with her palm then dragged her nails across my skin. I bit my arm again.
Micah said, “Can I yank on myself?”
“No,” she answered. I felt her finger on my asshole; she rubbed my hole in circles until it felt good. Until blood rushed to colour my skull. “Come here,” I heard her say.
I felt Micah stand then come over.
“Touch him,” she said.
“Where?” Micah sounded anxious.
Ivo hit him. Smack. “You know where,” she said.
Micah fingered the edge of my asshole.
“Rim him,” Ivo said.
I felt my asshole flower. Oh fuck. Fuck me. Yeah. That felt nice. I’d never had a tongue at my hole before. Shit. That was so nice. I felt Micah lean over me, gripping each side of my bony ass with his hands while he rippled his tongue through my crack then concentrated on the brown flower of my hole. Fuck. Jesus. That was good.
Ivo said, “The bed.” We all went. “Take off your clothes,” Ivo said, meaning Micah. My friend looked as skinny and white as me. His cock was short and fat. I’d seen it before. Now I let myself really see it. “Together,” Ivo said. Micah and I scooted together. I felt the taut reed of his leg against mine, the brush of short hairs. Ivo looked pristine in her clothes. She wanted me on my back, Micah on top. For a second our cocks were like two rulers side by side. Then she gave Micah lubricant and instructed him to oil up. His cock glistened. He didn’t meet my eyes.
“Gentle at first,” she said as Micah pressed the head of his cock to my ass.
“Shit,” he said, like he didn’t want to fuck me but really did.
Ivo leaned over me then kissed me like I’d never been kissed before. “You ’re so sweet,” she said into my mouth. Then she kissed me all over my face, and I kissed her back, tongue in her mouth, my hands in her hair. First time I’d ever touched her like that.
I felt the head of Micah’s cock in my ass. I felt how I opened.
“Easy,” Ivo said.
Micah moaned, sank deeper, fucked me. I grabbed Ivo. I was like a butterfly on a pin. She kissed my ear lobe. “Deeper,” she told Micah. “Come in his ass.” His face had twisted above me. The word “Shit,” broke from his lips, and then I felt jizz bust out of my cock like pus from a wound. You know how that is after, right?
I woke with spunk leaking from my ass. Micah was asleep under the covers, pillow to his face, a familiar stranger. I smelled that apple-cider smell of Ivo, but she wasn’t there. I figured she had another life opposite of what she’d left in the hotel. After Ivo, Micah and I were like what you’d find through Alice’s looking glass. I was cracked open, naked as an egg. Happiness is totally scary like that.
Kimberle
Achy Obejas
“I have to be stopped,” Kimberle said. Her breath blurred her words, transmitting a whooshing sound that made me push the phone away. “Well, OK, maybe not have to – I ’d say
should
– but that begs the question of why. I mean, who cares? So maybe what I really mean is I need to be stopped.” Her words slid one into the other, like buttery babies bumping, accumulating at the mouth of a slide in the playground. “Are you listening to me?”