The Mark of an Alpha (8 page)

He remembered being told that the only limit Bennett had set on what could be done with him was that the hood had to stay in place. It had sounded like such a fantastic complement to his need to find out what it would be like to give into his desire to take complete control of a mate.

He remembered closing the door and sealing himself in the room alone with the other man. He remembered discovering that his new submissive was a wolf rather than a man. He remembered discovering what a perfect match Bennett actually was for him.

"It can never happen again."

Marsdon blinked his way back into the here and now, pushing away his memories of what felt like perfection in order to face the imperfections of the situation in front of him.

It seemed like a lifetime ago now, but Marsdon knew what he remembered was right. They'd both wanted it. From that first moment where they stood there like idiots in the back room of a human club with no idea how humans would act in that situation, and with no idea what a wolf should do either, they'd both wanted what they found there. They'd both needed it.

Marsdon met Bennett's eyes across the barn. He felt just as clueless now as he had then.

"You were thinking about how things were in the club,” Bennett accused.

It wasn't a question, but Marsdon answered anyway. “Yes."

"That can never happen again,” Bennett repeated.

Marsdon studied him for several long seconds. “So, if not that, what do we do?” Because if Bennett thought he knew the answer to that, he was destined to be very disappointed in him.

"Other alphas manage to mate as equals. There's no reason why we can't,” Bennett said.

Marsdon raised an eyebrow at the idea. It was hard to work out which of them his mate was trying to convince.

"You said you recognise that I'm an alpha, that I'm your equal,” Bennett challenged. “Prove it."

Marsdon stepped forward, slowly closing the gap between them, willing to try anything at all if it might get them out of this stalemate.

Bennett stayed exactly where he was in the middle of the barn, studying his every move. He was as still right then as he had ever been in bondage. Stopping in front of him, Marsdon touched his cheek. It was a request for him to tilt his head back and be kissed. Not an order, a request. Bennett allowed him to guide his head back.

Marsdon carefully brushed their lips together. Bennett made no objection. When he deepened the kiss, Bennett allowed that too. Marsdon felt a rush of relief sweep through his body. If all his mate needed him to do was learn nicer manners, that was easily fixed.

Half a step forward brought their bodies together. Bennett half reached out to him in return and then he hesitated. Marsdon pretended he hadn't noticed any of it. Bennett was unfamiliar with the freedom of movement he had right then. It was only to be expected that everything would be a bit tentative between them.

A minute passed. Bennett cautiously lifted a hand and threaded his fingers into Marsdon's hair. That deserved a reward. Marsdon deepened the kiss even further, sliding his tongue against Bennett's lips, hoping to coax a pleased little murmur from him.

Bennett stayed silent.

Marsdon frowned. It felt like an eternity since the mating ceremony ended. But now, when he was finally being welcomed close and he was finally allowed to touch his mate, it felt like they were both moving through treacle.

Everything was ridiculously slow and careful. Part of Marsdon could accept that, part of him even saw that it was to be expected. Everything was new all over again. They were only just getting to know each other. It was more complicated than things had been back in the club. Marsdon could understand all of that. Hell, if it was what made Bennett happy they could move at glacier speed. Slow wasn't the real problem.

Marsdon's frown deepened as he tried to work out what really felt so wrong between them. Even though his hands rested on Bennett's body, it still felt like he was miles away. The connection he'd felt with his lover seemed dull and muted. Marsdon persevered, deepening the kiss once more, searching for what he'd felt in the club, desperate to feel truly alive again.

He settled one of his hands on the small of his mate's back, encouraging him closer still until they were pressed tight together. Bennett complied. Marsdon rocked his hips a fraction, the way he had so many times when they were back at the club and he wanted to tempt his pup to pull against his restraints in an effort to thrust back against his master.

Bennett stood very still, making no effort to copy the movement. Marsdon pressed carefully against his back, trying to nudge him into following his lead without making any demands upon him. His mate shifted his stance, but that was it.

Barring those times when he had just allowed his pup to come, it was practically the first time he could remember bringing their bodies into line and not feeling an erection press eagerly against him. Marsdon faltered.

When they'd played in the club everything was easy. When he'd made demands rather than polite little requests, his pup had been hard and on the verge of begging within moments of his master walking into the room. This wasn't sex. It wasn't mating. It was Bennett going through the motions because he felt like it was his duty to let his mate screw him.

A growl broke from the back of Marsdon's throat. Anger shot through his veins. He shoved Bennett back against the wall of the barn. His mate blinked up at him, shock and confusion filling his eyes. When he tried to straighten up, Marsdon pushed him back again. Bennett parted his lips to speak.

That couldn't happen. No words. Words made things complicated. They hadn't needed words or names or traditions to understand each other when they were in the club, and they didn't need them now.

Marsdon covered his mate's lips with his own, demanding access now, demanding his submission. A confused little murmur escaped from Bennett's throat. It sounded as if some part of him remembered that they weren't supposed to be doing this, but he had no real idea why. His hands pressed against Marsdon's chest. His fists clenched and unclenched in Marsdon's shirt as if he wasn't sure if he wanted to pull him closer or push him away.

No. Bennett shouldn't have to make any decisions. Marsdon was his master. Decisions were his responsibility—looking after his pup was his responsibility. He caught Bennett's wrists in his hands and pinned them back against the rough wooden boards, taking away any pressure Bennett might have felt to do anything other than respond to his master the way he had back in the club.

For a moment, Bennett fidgeted within his grip—testing his hold on him but making no real attempt to push him away. Marsdon tightened his grasp, letting his mate feel his master's strength. Bennett stopped trying to move. He accepted his master's control over him as easily and as perfectly as he ever had.

His lips slowly parted, not just permitting his master entry, but accepting him the way he hadn't been able to when they'd stood in the middle of the barn playing silly games. Marsdon growled into the kiss, success rushing through his veins as he felt his pup extend a cautious welcome. Bennett's tongue traced a line along the outside of his lips, asking for permission to play too.

Relief pushed aside the victory swirling through Marsdon's blood. He gentled the kiss, letting Bennett explore his mouth as his pup deepened his side of the kiss and tasted his master properly for the first time. When he hesitated, Marsdon coaxed him to give his desire free reign until he finally leant back a fraction and brought the kiss to an end.

Bennett blinked up at him, heavy lidded and almost sleepy with the relief of submission. Their eyes met, Marsdon saw the calm that had been so conspicuous in its absence over the last few days. Releasing one of Bennett's wrists he cupped Bennett's cheek in his palm, holding his head steady so he could brush a gentle kiss over both his eyelids, welcoming his first sight of submission without a hood in the way.

Trailing his mouth back down to Bennett's lips again, he pressed their bodies together once more. His other hand released Bennett's other wrist and went to his waist band, burrowing under his shirt so he could feel skin beneath his palm.

Bennett murmured his pleasure, arching against the hand, as eager for his master's touch as he had ever been. The sound went straight to Marsdon's cock. Relief at finding the solution to all their problems made him light headed.

His pup had elected to dispense with the belt that morning. Right then it didn't matter that he'd probably rejected even that bit of leather creeping into his life. Its absence let Marsdon's hand slip past the waist band of his trousers to palm Bennett's buttocks under the fabric.

Whimpering his pleasure at his touch, his mate wriggled enthusiastically against his hand. Marsdon pushed their bodies even closer together letting the other wolf feel the pressure holding him against the wall. Bennett's hands stopped hanging idly at his sides, he suddenly seemed to realise they were free. They moved immediately to Marsdon's back, encouraging him to thrust against him properly this time.

The clothes separating them didn't matter. The fact that Bennett was free to touch and Marsdon wasn't in control of where his pup's hands wandered didn't matter. Bennett wanted his master just as much as he wanted his pup—that was everything.

Marsdon's hand on Bennett's arse led him into a thrust against his master in time with him. He was quick to take the cue and run with it. Every movement was muffled through the layers of cloth, but that wasn't important. They were both already so hard, both so close. Starved and desperate, they rubbed against each other like wolves who had never known a lover's touch—who didn't know how to do more than thrust, and cling to each other, and hope.

Close. So close. Marsdon could feel the tension building in Bennett's body. The slightest little thing would probably be enough to send him over the edge, and he needed Bennett to fall over that drop so badly he could taste it. His desire to please his pup, to prove to them both that this was what Bennett wanted too, overpowered his own need for his own release. Reminding Bennett of the pleasure to be found under a master's care was everything.

"That's right, pup,” Marsdon coaxed into the kiss. “Come for your master, pup."

Without warning, Bennett tried to jerk back. The wall of the barn made any retreat impossible. Twisting away to the side instead, he broke the kiss.

Growling his frustration, Marsdon tried to catch his lips for another kiss, but Bennett turned his face away completely. The hands that had been pulling him closer pushed at his shoulders. Marsdon rocked back, regained his balance and stepped in close to his mate again.

"I...I'm not your pup,” Bennett mumbled, staring down at the floor to one side of them. His voice faltered as he said it, each word uncertain and filled with confusion.

"What?” Marsdon blinked down at his mate, trying to make sense of it.

"I said—I'm not your pup,” Bennett snapped, anger rushing in to push any hesitation aside.

Marsdon chuckled in his relief—that was all that was wrong?

"Fine. Bennett,” he whispered in his mate's ear—willing to call him whatever the hell he wanted if it would get them back to thrusting against each other. He touched Bennett's check, guiding him to turn his face up for another kiss.

Bennett refused. “I'm not your pup,” he repeated. “And you're not my master."

Marsdon tensed, hating hearing him saying it. They were said like words Bennett had memorised by rote. As if he was only saying them because he had trained himself to repeat them at every conceivable opportunity. They weren't said as if he meant them, but Marsdon still hated them.

"We are what we are,” he said, as calmly as he could.

Without thinking he let the hand that rested on his mate's cheek, slide towards the back of his neck. His fingers brushed against the cross hidden under stands of hair, eager to feel the reassurance of its presence.

Bennett pushed him away. Shocked by the force, Marsdon stumbled back a few steps.

His pup blinked as if trying to make sense of a world that had shifted under his feet. “You...I—” Bennett shook his head as if trying to clear it. He closed his eyes.

As Marsdon watched, the colour drained from his mate's face. His whole body tensed. The last traces of the submissive he'd known in the club bled away, leaving his mate a hollow shell, leaving Bennett's eyes lifeless when he opened them.

Marsdon stepped forward, automatically reaching out to comfort the other wolf. Bennett jerked away as if Marsdon had raised a hand to strike him. For several long seconds, Marsdon stood there with his hand stretched out towards his pup.

He waited, giving Bennett every chance in the world to step forward, to reach out, to do anything at all to close the gap between them. Bennett straightened, squaring his shoulders and tilting back his head as he stepped away from the support the barn wall offered him.

"You have my apology."

"What?"

Bennett stared past him as if they were strangers. “I told you that I would never give you reason to be ashamed of your mate,” he said. “You have my apology."

"You think I'm ashamed of you?” Marsdon demanded.

"You were promised an alpha—a mate who was capable of remembering that he was an alpha and what that title means,” Bennett said, without any trace of emotion.

"I got the mate I wanted."

Bennett stared at the floor between them for a long time.

Marsdon held his breath, waiting to hear their fate.

"I gave you my word,” Bennett said. “An alpha keeps his word."

"I don't want you to promise me that you won't submit to me!” Marsdon shouted.

"You're a true alpha,” Bennett said, his voice perfectly level.

Marsdon pushed down his temper and tried to focus. “Yes. We're both—"

"Then maybe this is what you want right now,” Bennett allowed. “But what happens tomorrow or the next day? What about next month or next year? What happens on the day you need to know your mate is standing strong besides you? What happens when you turn to me and feel nothing but contempt?"