The Marrying Game (26 page)

He meant it. The world darkened around Nancy, as the truth sank in.

Rufa had been right. Here was a rare man who valued other things besides sex. He refused to break his word to Polly. He could not be seduced, and would never be persuaded to marry Nancy, which meant that Rufa would certainly ruin her life by marrying Edward. She drew in a breath, and exhaled it in a loud sob. This time she wept not with anger, but with despair. She covered her face with her hands, and wailed to feel the fissure in her heart.

‘Nancy – oh, my God –’ Berry sounded appalled. She felt his tentative hand on her arm.

‘It’s not you,’ she gasped. ‘It’s everything – everything bad that’s happened to us – if he hadn’t done it, we’d all be fine, and it would all be the same –’

‘Hadn’t done it? Oh, God, you mean your father.’

The cushions beside her sagged under his weight. He put his arm around her, and she found herself sobbing into his shoulder. She wept and wept, for what seemed ages. He did not move or speak, but stroked her back gently, in a way that was deeply comforting. Eventually, she pulled herself blearily away from him.

‘Sorry. I’m a stupid cow. Don’t worry, I’ll go now.’

She risked a look at him, and almost dissolved again when she saw how kindly he looked back at her.

‘Don’t go yet,’ he said. ‘I’ll make some tea, or something.’

Nancy tried to laugh. ‘Some of that coffee will be fine.’

‘It’s freezing. I’ll get some more.’ He unwound his arm, and stood up. ‘How do you like it?’

‘Black, three sugars, strong enough to blow a safe.’

‘Righto.’ He dug in his pocket for a handkerchief. ‘Have this. It’s clean.’

He went to the kitchen. Nancy curled on the sofa, mopping her wrecked face, feeling an utter fool. When he came back with the coffee, she had rallied a little.

‘Berry, you are nice. I’m so sorry for ruining your Saturday morning.’

‘You haven’t. Honestly.’

‘I’m having one of those days when everything looks bloody, that’s all. Usually, I have an incredible capacity to ignore it.’ She sipped her coffee. ‘Did Ru tell you?’

‘About her engagement, you mean? Yes, she did. It was rather a shock, because we assumed that she and Adrian –’

‘This is far worse,’ Nancy said. ‘This is a catastrophe.’

Berry handed her the plate of croissants. ‘Have one of these. Why is it a catastrophe?’

‘Oh, come on. Edward Reculver, of all people. Don’t you think it’s disgusting?’ Nancy bit angrily into a croissant.

‘No,’ Berry said. ‘I like Edward. Rather more than Adrian, actually. And not just because Adrian is my boss. To see Rufa’s face, when she came back with him – well, Polly said it was too obvious for words. She said she was a bit cross with Rufa, for stringing everyone along. But even Adrian could see she was radiantly
happy
. She looked as if she’d swallowed a light bulb.’

‘She’s not happy,’ Nancy said, through a mouthful of croissant. ‘She only thinks she is.’

Berry smiled. ‘Well, isn’t that enough?’

‘You don’t understand her. Nobody does, because she looks so capable. She’s been totally bonkers since the Man died.’

‘She never talks about it. Did she take it harder than the rest of you?’

‘Yes.’ As she said it, Nancy saw that this was true. ‘She found him – that must have made it worse. And she was alone in the house with him. I’d changed my shift at the pub, so I could go out with Tim – my boyfriend – in the evening. If I hadn’t done that, I would have been there too. I should have been there.’

‘But what could you have done?’ Berry asked gently.

Nancy shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Just been there with her. She didn’t know what to do.’

‘My God, I’m not surprised. What did she do, in the end?’

‘She couldn’t think whether to ring the police, or an ambulance – so she rang Edward. He was there, thank goodness, when everyone else— anyway, he did the rest.’ Nancy frowned, holding back the tears. ‘He’s awfully good at managing things. I suppose it comes from the army. Of course, he reacted by giving orders. He ordered Ru to go and sit outside until he came. Not to touch anything, or make any more calls. He did all that.’

‘Kind of him,’ Berry said.

‘Yes. He was very kind. He did his best to take care of us, when we were all quite barmy. Death makes you barmy, you know – you don’t even cry, and then you
think
you must be fine. But you’re not. None of us were. Particularly Rufa.’

Berry said, ‘You love Rufa a lot, don’t you?’

‘Ru’s my right arm. I can’t bear that he’s taking her away.’ Nancy willed herself not to start crying again. ‘I can’t believe I’ve blabbed all this out to you. I’ve never really said it aloud to anyone. If you want the ghastly truth, I came here with the dotty idea of making you marry me, so Ru wouldn’t have to go through with it.’

Alarm flashed across Berry’s face for a moment, then he smiled. ‘And you were going to stick me with the bills for mending your house?’

‘I’m afraid so, darling. And the debts. You’ve had a lucky escape.’

‘So have you,’ he said, laughing softly. ‘I couldn’t have afforded you.’

‘What?’ Nancy was startled. ‘Don’t be daft – I’ve seen pictures of your house!’

‘I thought you, of all people, would know what big, posh houses cost to run. Most of my father’s money goes straight back into the estate. It won’t be my problem until I inherit – and, thank God, my father is exceptionally hale and hearty. We fully expect him to last another thirty years. He’s giving me a house, when I get married. Otherwise, I have to work, like everyone else. And I’m not the sort of City person who earns enough to save Melismate.’

‘But – but –’ Nancy was bewildered, and rather indignant. ‘The way you live – this flat –’

‘This? It’s Polly’s.’

‘Oh.’

‘So there you are,’ Berry said, manfully keeping the
wistfulness
out of his voice. ‘Marrying me wouldn’t exactly be love in a cottage. But the only roof my family can afford to worry about is our own. We haven’t any millions to spare.’

‘Oh,’ Nancy said again. She started laughing. He laughed too. They both reached for the last croissant, and laughed until they almost wept.

Berry solemnly tore the croissant in half, and went to the kitchen to make another pot of coffee. Nancy lay back against the soft cushions of his – Polly’s – sofa, and listened to him singing to himself as he banged the cupboard doors. Berry’s voice was sweet and buoyant, and nearly made her cry again. She wondered what on earth had got into her.

‘You’ve been an angel,’ she said, when he returned.

He grinned shyly. ‘Rubbish.’

‘You have – I can practically see your wings. Old Waltzing Matilda is a lucky girl, and I hope she knows it.’ She sighed gustily, and reached for her half of the croissant. ‘I’m glad you’re not as filthy rich as we thought – it makes you less likely to end up with a gold-digging bitch like me.’

‘You’re not a bitch, Nancy,’ Berry said, reddening. ‘You were doing it to help Rufa – but I doubt it would have worked, anyway. Even if I had been able to save Melismate. You’d never have talked her out of marrying Edward.’

‘How right you are.’ Nancy was gloomy. ‘Once she’s made her mind up, nothing on earth can budge her. I think that’s what scared me – seeing that she was totally set on him.’

‘I still don’t see why you’re so against Edward,’ Berry said, in a firmer voice. ‘I think he’s terrific. That night he
rescued
my car keys, he told me how much he loved you all.’

‘Did he?’

‘I got the distinct impression that he’d pulverize anyone who tried to hurt you – any of you. He said he owed it to your father.’

Nancy’s sore eyes filled with yet more tears – the tears she had not shed for the Man, because she had been so busy being cheerful. ‘I wish he’d just married someone else, got his hands on the money and given it to us when we needed it.’

‘Perhaps he didn’t think your father would take it.’

She blew her nose briskly. ‘Oh, you must be kidding. The Man was like a very lazy version of Dick Turpin. He’d take money off absolutely anyone, without a second thought.’

‘Perhaps Edward’s sorry, and marrying Rufa is one way of making it up to you all. I bet he’d have given every penny of it, and married absolutely anyone, to save your father. That’s the kind of man he is. It’s obvious, really.’

There was a silence. Nancy said, ‘You think I’m too hard on him.’

‘Yes. I think he loves your sister very much.’

Another silence.

Nancy said, ‘Oh, God. Oh, hell. You’ve been so kind, and I’ve behaved like a total cow. I screeched at Ru this morning. I threatened to have her sectioned. And now she’s gone home thinking I hate her.’

‘Rubbish. She’d never think that.’

She blew her nose again with finality, like a full stop. ‘I’d better start mending a few fences.’

Chapter Fifteen

SPRING HAD COME
to the soft countryside around Melismate, scattering bluebells and pale primroses in pockets of woodland, and tufts of green across the raw brown fields. The broom was out, and there were banks of waxen yellow daffodils. The air that rushed through the open window of Edward’s Land Rover smelt of damp soil and young grass.

Rufa, now officially and publicly his fiancée, was in the passenger seat beside him. The change in the weather was appropriate, she thought, for the first day in this new era of her life. She wanted the world to look different, so that she could see the happy ending with her own eyes. She was still angry enough with Nancy to want continuous proof that she had been in the right.

Nancy had been out until the small hours, working at her bar and then carousing at a Soho club with Roshan. Rufa had broken the news of the engagement this morning. She had been genuinely unprepared for Nancy’s outrage, taking it for granted that her sister would be pleased, or at least relieved. Nancy’s disgusting accusations had made Rufa furious. Apart from anything else, the sheer ingratitude took her breath away. Didn’t she realize what Edward was doing for them? Where did Nancy think they would all be without
him
? He had baled them out of one mess after another, never expecting thanks – and not often getting them.

But she would not sustain her indignation. The truth was that she was desperate for Nancy’s approval. Nancy was her favourite sister, and as necessary to her as salt. Her absence took the gloss off Rufa’s triumphant homecoming. She would have to come round, however, when she saw the relief and happiness of their mother. Rufa was sure Rose would be delighted. She tried to focus on the joy of engineering a real, ocean-going happy ending. Nancy was bound to come round in the end.

Edward glanced aside at her, trying to puzzle out her mood.

Somehow, before reaching Melismate, the two of them had to step into their new roles as lovers. Edward could not see how they were to do this. Rufa had not guessed – he had been unable to tell her – how passionately she was loved. It was still surprising to Edward. After their quarrel, when he had stayed up all night wrestling to the bottom of his anger, this was the great discovery he had made. For the past six years, since his return to the farm, he had been living out the private drama of being in love with Rufa. It had fed all his relations with the family, like an underground stream.

She had been a child in his mind, until he had met her again as a young woman of twenty-one – tall, grave and disturbingly beautiful. And the idol of her father’s heart. Edward recalled speeches the Man had made, when plastered, about how he dreaded ‘surrendering’ Rufa to any other man.

The Man had confided in Edward because he had not considered him a rival. Edward had not considered
himself
a rival. Any feeling he had for Rufa – any pang he might have felt at her loveliness – had been strangled and buried immediately. There had been no question of declaring his love to her. He had assumed that she would never think of falling in love with him. He had pushed his feelings deeper underground when she had fallen in love with the ghastly writer who had rented his cottage.

Marrying Rufa would mean the unburying of all that imprisoned desire. He had meant every word of the speech he had made to her, about sex not being part of the deal. But of course Edward wanted sex with her. He wanted it desperately, and suddenly having permission to think about it was driving him crazy. Their situation was ridiculous, he thought. They were engaged, but if they were ever to be real lovers, he now had to begin the process of courting and winning her. And God alone knew how he was to do that, when he had such a terror of seeming to force her.

He had, he realized, lost the language of sexual courtship. Sex belonged to the side of his life Rufa knew nothing about. He did not think he could ever explain to her why he had kept part of himself sealed off from Melismate. Hopefully, he would be able to tidy it all up without Rufa finding out. Edward looked aside at Rufa, and could not imagine how to break through the smiling silence that surrounded her.

I’m calcified by loneliness, he thought; it’s turned me into a statue. I don’t know how to set about showing this girl I’d die for her.