The Matter Is Life (23 page)

Splendora told her mama that she first use to think the preacher was misleadin his congregation, just makin em shout, not think! bout what God really means and wants. And beggin for money. Just ridin his cadillac round and smilin at the single sisters and some married ones too. She
say she thought that til, one day, two, three months into her marriage when she was closer in the church, she overheard some of the church-sisters talkin.

The sisters was dressed-to-kill! Big, wide hats with feathers and flowers on em, hot-red and midnight-blue dresses with ribbons and bows sittin on they behinds and shoulders, feet stuffed into little sandles with toes hangin over the edges of the sole. Hair shinin, red-hot lips like slashes cross they face, earrings hangin to yonder and back. Sharp!!

They was sayin, “We got to get Reverand a new Cadillac! The Greater Pilgrim Church done got they preacher a brand new silver Cadillac! We got to get ours a gold one! Can’t let em outdo us!”

Another one answered, “He need some new suits, too! When he be ridin out on his errands of mercy, he need to look good! Them last suits he got must be bout six months old now!”

Then one said, “I like my preacher to look good! He got to ride good too! Show everybody how God blesses a good man!”

The first one smiled, flashin long teeth, “Well, we just gonna have to take up a extra collection! We have to talk to these people holdin back on some of that money! We got to have a preacher we can be proud of when people see him! We ain’t gonna let no other church outdo us!”

Like that. Worldly.

Then, she notice durin church meetin, the ladies in the front row sit with they knees apart, dress hiked up, just a’starin at the preacher and the deacons, who was preachin and starin back!

Splendora didn’t like that. She said, “Wasn’t no ‘God’ in
that! That ain’t church. They don’t leave the worldly ways outside, they bring em in!” Got so she didn’t like to go to her husband’s church.

Round then she got that heritance from the blind teacher-friend. She made up her mind to leave her husband. They had never let her have no money, cept for food shoppin, so when she left she thought she deserved some money to take with her.

Now, whenever Splendora handed the church collection plate around, the people put more money in it, thinkin she would tell the preacher who was givin what, so she always took in a good collection. This particular Sunday she took collection from front of church to back. When she through with that back row, she took the other collection plate from the one collectin on the other side of the church rows and poured it into her plate. Now durin the meetin collection time, the preacher, piano player and choir get to singin and shoutin real hard to get the givers excited, make em dig deeper in they pockets. By time Splendora got through the last row, the people was kinda shouting and happy! Splendora took the whole plate and all, went on out the doors of the church and came on home to Dora. I think she had bout $270.

The preacher, his wife and son come bustin by right after church let out. Didn’t even stay to shake hands with the congregation. They want they money! Splendora say she didn’t have “they” money, she only had hers. She wouldn’t come out and Dora wouldn’t let em in. Dora kept tellin them to go or she gonna call the police. They kept sayin Splendora a thief! And they gonna call the police right back! Neither one did. They finally went away. Preacher cussin and mad at
his son for marryin up with “one of them dumb doras!” Son didn’t know whether to stay and beg or to go. Cause he had family in both directions. But Splendora told him to go cause she was already gone! He finally left. Didn’t want nobody hearin him beggin no woman to come home.

The preacher-man’s son sat, waitin for her to come beggin back, said god was on his side. Well, Splendora wasn’t.

Splendora told God, “I didn’t take no money from you. It wasn’t gonna be spent on you noway. I took it from my husband. He owe it to me. So … I’m not stealin.”

After that she was gone, gone. Got her heritance, gave her mama some. Visited her sister in Chicago for to get some clothes, then went far as we could even think of … to Europea. Windora said she bought plenty clothes. Dora said that money must sure be gone.

With Windora’s help, Splendora knew some places to go in Europea. She took a room and bath in a very nice hotel in Paris. Her money sounded big to her, well, she hadn’t never had any. But, in bout a month or two, them French had done eaten it almost all up.

She wrote her mama regular most times. And the money mighta been gone, but she sure found some to send home to her mama from time to time. Dora grieved for her, missed her last baby gone from home … alone.

Dora beg Lovedora to send Pandora to stay with her awhile. She come, but she soon gone, cause her mama got that TB and she needed at home. Then she beg Windora for Goldora, but she didn’t let her come cept in the summers sometime. Endora told her mama she could come over there anytime and see Freedora, but Dora want to hold somebody at night while she sleep. Anyway … the years passed.

Over the years, she got letters from Splendora from all kinds of places. My son Walton, the lame one who had dreams, got letters sometimes too. Once or twice we didn’t hear nothin for a long time. Then she wrote and ask bout my son Walton again. Was he still wantin to paint? Said she had a way for him to come there and study art! That’s when my boy, man now, was leavin me. We cried. But I was glad he was dreamin and bout to get that dream! Just he didn’t come back, he stayed. Learned and learned. Til Splendora came back, bout ten more years later. He got to where he even sent me some money! But I wanted him back! They was both bout thirty-four and thirty-five when they come home, cause me and Dora was bout goin on fifty-nine, sixty. But I done got way head of my story.

At first, Splendora just enjoy bein a lady. She say them mens love black women over there! She change her clothes, couldn’t wait to wear em, I guess, two, three times a day! I blive they couldn’t quite make out what she was all about!

Mens try to meet her when she go out for walks in that huge monstrous city, or when she at her dinner table back at her hotel. At first she didn’t be too friendly with em, didn’t want em to get the wrong idea. But you got to be friends with somebody, so she made friends with the elevator man, always goin up or down, you see.

They talked on the short rides. Then … he start makin them smiles and words which mean, “I want to jugie-jugie with you.” Splendora just laughed at his nerve and say, “I’m a Christian woman.” He offer the Christian woman money, say, “I give you fifty francs.” Went from there to a hundred francs to a hundred fifty francs! Then he got mad at
her cause it was too much and she still say, no. He still smile tho.

Men see him talkin to her and ask him bout her. He say, “She not a prostitute. She his friend. She don’t want to talk to anyone else.” This make them men try harder to make her one. Either just for themself or everybody. Ain’t it funny how all over the world, life is kinda the same?

Well, you know, that money was finally gone. Most of it. Splendora had done been tryin to get a work permit or somethin, but seems it was really hard to get. She kept tryin cause she really need work and money now. She also hadn’t been able to find a cheap apartment either. She wrote us that cheap hotels were too dangerous for her, alone.

One day, very soon, she count her money layin in that bag with the ticket home. She didn’t want to come home broke and with nothin from Paris. And that week her rent would be behind too!

So she took to ridin that elevator to get that elevator man to ask her again, to offer her them francs. (That’s what they call their money.) That ole geezer musta been able to read her mind and pockets. Cause where he always ask her, again, everytime she get on his elevator and be alone, this time he didn’t say nothin, just smiled at her. Knew she was in a tight spot and that was his chance! Finally, after bout the tenth ride that day and he ain’t said nothin, she did say somethin.

She smiled, said, “The money you offered me … I think … I blive I will take it. I need it very much.”

What she say that for!? “I NEED it very much.” That ole thing of his must have leaped in his drawers. He smiled, said, “Oh! The money. Well …” He laughed a ugly, little,
gray laugh, “Well now. I don’t have so much money now. I have only a hundred francs. See? I told you you should say yes! When I had it!”

She said, “A hundred francs be alright cause I have to pay my rent. Then maybe my job will come through.” They was at her floor then, so she had to get out. She tried to ask, “How will we …”

He laughed and shut the door, sayin, “I let you know.” He was gone.

She sat by her phone. He didn’t call. She got back on the elevator. He laughed again. She said, “How …”

He said, “I count my money. I only have fifty francs to spend. I am poor man.”

She look down at her feet, say, “Well … okey. I need it.” Time for her to get out again. She ask, again, “How will …”

He laugh that ugly, gray laugh again, reach to touch her behind, she hit his hand, he reached for her breast, she let him a second or two, then she move his hand away. He laughed, “I let you know.” Then he shut the door and was gone.

That happen til the money was down to twenty francs. Splendora didn’t want to take it. But she had to. Didn’t know nowhere to go where they help beautifully dressed women from America! Didn’t really know nobody but him, the elevator man.

He finally ran into her room. She lay back and spread her legs. He did what he came for. Left eighteen francs on her table and was gone. Lucky she got that!

Splendora got up, cleaned up. Felt dirty. Said, “Lord. What is going to be next for me? I don’t want to do this, but
what am I gonna do? Help me. Help me out of this. Please. Do I have to go home? To nothin, with nothin? I’m willin to work. Help me get a job so I never have to do this again. Please Lord, please. I have stolen. Now, I have whored. Oh! God! I am sorry! Help me!”

That sellin business tore her up a little. She was hurt, not in her body, it only felt dirty from that ugly little elevator man. She was hurt in her heart and mind. She had hated it when Lovedora went through it. Thought Lovedora was a fool. Well, Lovedora was! She gave her money away. Splendora was keepin hers, usin it herself! If you gonna do a dirty job like that, you need to keep any money from it for yourself. Don’t give your soul away!

She stayed in her room that night and the next few days, eatin sandwitches she ran out and bought, goin down the stairs. She thought everybody would be starin at her, talkin bout her. Finally she said to hell with it and went down to dinner dressed in her best best dress. She looked beautiful. She said if they put her out, she would look good goin. She was almost to the dessert when the waiter brought her a card from a gentleman askin could he join her.

Now, just to let you know what happened. After the elevator man had brought her down (he thought), he talked bout how he had done so good to the barman. A gentleman was at the bar he didn’t think too much of cause he was a midget, a dwarf, so he didn’t pay him no tention and the gentleman heard his story. He didn’t know the dwarf gentleman owned the hotel cause the dwarf didn’t let everybody know his business. This hotel was just one of the places his family had left him. He had a’plenty! After the dwarf heard the whole story bout how long Splendora had held out, he
sat in his usual office in another buildin he owned and thought about this beautiful woman holdin out and finally givin in to a elevator man cause she was in need. He thought about his own life. Few thrills in it. Him bein shy and self-conscious bout his size. But that trick she turned brought her down to his size in a way. Sides that, she was beautiful, black, alone and in need. Different. Seeked after. Waited til the end fore she took that road down. He looked at it that way.

That evening the dwarf went back to that hotel, sat drinkin coffee and liquor til she came down. He was bout to give up and go when she finally came down for dinner. She had done planned not to come down, but finally her stomach got the best of her and she could sign for her meals there. She sat down thinkin everybody lookin at her again. That’s when the dwarf man sent his card with his name only on it, askin to join her.

Now … Splendora was sad and feelin just so alone, so, she thought, what the hell? Why not? and told the waiter Yes, he could join her. He did. She was so shocked to see this little man, dressed so neat and rich-like. Cane and all. She just couldn’t hardly talk. He didn’t talk much either. He shame too, I guess, for askin. But great big bells was ringin in his stomach. And little bitty bells was ringin in her brain. They stumbled over a few beginnin words.

Then, after awhile, he ask to pay for her check. She nodded gratefully. He did.

He told her he would like to dine with her every night while he in town and when he couldn’t make it, to have dinner as his guest anyway. (He didn’t want to give nobody else the chance that elevator man had had.) She couldn’t not
blive her ears! He hadn’t ask her for nothin! He didn’t, either.

That went on for bout a week. Splendora runnin back and forth tween the work-permit office, her room and fear. He was the only good thing in her life at that time. And by that time, they was laughin and talkin better. He told her he had paid her hotel bill. That she might like to move to a small apartment he had found, it would be cheaper. She hadn’t been able to find one. I’m tellin you it sound like a fairy tale, but these things must do happen sometime in real life.

Splendora swallowed her food, took a deep breath, sighed and said, “Why? Why are you doin all this for me?” Wasn’t she foolish?

He answered, throwing his hands into the air, “Why not? I have the money. You have not. I like you. You are a clean woman. Your mind is not ruined. You are … different. You are American. Most important, you are a beautiful woman. You were born to be taken care of. I would like a … companion. Don’t worry, I will not ask too much of you. Just this one thing.… Never … NEVER … have another man in your life as long as I keep you.”

Well, you know, that suited Splendora fine. But she thought of havin this little man who she did not love either. She did not want too many sins on her back.