The Memory Witch (23 page)

“I would imagine that by fourteen and fifteen it should be common knowledge that pedophilia would be wrong,” I said dryly. My features contorted into a mask of disgust as I regarded her. “So that’s the whole story then? My father kills himself because the thought of his little girl as spoiled goods and couldn’t bear it to look me in the face. Then, we run off like I had done something wrong. Meanwhile, those sick freaks went unpunished and possibly adding more victims to their rap sheets.”

My mother was openly crying now. Her reserve was shattered and she kneeled before me. Her sobs begged me to forgive her. But I couldn’t. The hurt was too fresh and raw. Instead of prosecuting those bastards and getting me therapy, she had us run. We disappeared to a new place and she filled my head with falsified memories.

I stood up. “I have to go.”

“But Quinn, you just got here. You can’t leave until I make you understand the motivations behind my actions. Baby, I was only trying to protect you,” she pleaded.

“Mom, no matter what your intentions were the fact is that you created this fantasy life for me instead of helping me deal with reality. You may have made the memories go away, but the feelings never did,” I said. I drew in a sharp breath before continuing, “Do you realize that I’ve always been afraid of sex? All this time, I thought something was wrong with me. I prayed to be normal and not feel horror and shame every time a boy tried to do more than kiss me. If I had dealt with the rape, then maybe I would’ve learned how to get over those feelings.”

“You’re right, Quinn. I made mistakes as a mother. I’m not perfect, but my love for you has been the driving force behind every decision,” she said with conviction. “Stay the night, Quinn. I’ll call Stella, I’m sure she’ll understand. We can get into our pajamas and eat popcorn in front of the TV.”

“I’m going back to Stella’s,” I said resolutely. “She respected me enough to let me know the truth about my past.”

I vaulted past her form on the floor and made my way to the front door. She was close at my heels. “Quinn…please,” she begged.

“I can forgive you for a lot of things, but…” I said softly, “letting those pigs get away with what they did is unforgivable.”

I heard her call my name as I returned to Mason’s truck. I tuned out the side of my conscience that urged me to return to her. Part of me longed to offer my forgiveness and bury myself in her warm embrace. However, a new side of my personality had emerged after the amnesia was lifted—a colder and unsentimental Quinn that was not so keen to forgive the sins of the past.

It was late afternoon by the time I returned to Stella’s estate. As I neared the driveway, a lump formed in my throat. A single ambulance was parked out front. To the side of the vehicle, Mason was speaking to a pair of EMTs while waving his hands for emphasis. Three pairs of eyes watched me as I parked the car and leapt out towards them.

“What happened?” I gasped.

Mason turned to the EMTs and whispered something that did not reach my ears. They nodded and climbed into the ambulance. I stood transfixed as the ambulance drove past me and away from the estate. I didn’t realize I was trembling until Mason put a hand on my elbow to steady me.

“Stella?” I asked in hushed tones.

“Yes, I found her a couple of hours ago. She must have died during the night. She did look peaceful at least,” he said wistfully.

“Mason, I’m so sorry,” I cried.

Our embrace was desperate. I laced my hands behind his neck and pulled him close to me. His hands wrapped around my waist and my body was pressed against his. We were both in so much pain and had been through so much already. I wanted to temporarily relinquish my pain and focus on comforting him.

“It’s my fault,” I admitted softly. “She wanted to do the offering on the spell and I let her. I had no idea she would give up her life for it.”

Mason took my hand in his. His thumb brushed over the delicate skin of my palm and replied, “Quinn, we don’t know if that’s what happened here. Aunt Stella was in her seventies and she was sick the past week. She most likely died of natural causes.”

Even though he was in pain, Mason was still trying to ease my guilt. His aunt was difficult, but she was the only family he had left. “I’m sorry for everything. I shouldn’t have run off with your truck like that this morning. I should’ve been here when you found Stella.”

“Quinn, don’t worry about it. I’m just glad you’re back here and you’re okay,” he insisted. He kissed my forehead before asking, “Do you want to talk about it?”

I laughed mirthlessly. “What did I do to deserve you?” I asked rhetorically. “You just lost your aunt and you’re still worried about me.”

“Quinn, nothing you will tell me is ever going to change how I feel about you,” he promised.

Mason knew I was deflecting and was calling me on my bullshit. I stepped out of his arms and stood stiffly next to him. “I was…raped when I was eight.” The words left a sour taste in my mouth. My stomach roiled with nausea as I continued speaking. “Three teenagers took me into a basement and held me down as they each took a turn.

“I tried to fight and scream, but they were stronger and shoved a sock in my mouth. They hit me and threatened to kill me. Over and over again, I kept wishing for them to stop and just let me die. The pain and the humiliation…” I choked out. Mason moved to hug me, but I stepped back. “My father couldn’t deal with it and that’s why he killed himself. I was the one to find him…”

“Quinn, I had no idea...” Mason murmured. “I can’t even imagine what kind of fucked up dirtbags would ever do that to a child.”

“My mother didn’t go to authorities or tell their parents or do anything,” I said anguished. “We moved away and the boys were never punished. I’m not going to let them get away with it.”

“Quinn, I’m not sure if anything can be done now. It was ten years ago and even if evidence was collected then, I’m not sure if they would be able to be prosecuted. Maybe it would be better for you to leave it alone,” he suggested.

“Yes, it was ten years ago for them, but for me it feels like it just happened hours ago. I still feel their filthy skin on mine. I can still smell their rank breath. They will pay for what they did to me,” I swore. Mason cringed at my words. His affection for me made it difficult to hear what had been done to me.

“What do you plan to do?” he asked hesitantly.

“I’m a witch now. I’ll track each one of them down and make them pay,” I said resolutely.

“Quinn, that’s not the life Stella wanted for you. That’s not why she taught you her spells,” he said horrified.

“You expect me to just let this go? It sickens me to think about them happy and healthy while I’m a complete mess,” I retorted.

“I’m just trying to protect you, Quinn. You can’t just go around exacting vengeance. There are rules against using magic in that way,” he insisted. “We can go to the police and tell them your story. Maybe they can be tried even though it happened years ago.”

“There are too many holes in my story, especially about the amnesia. I can’t risk that they won’t get convicted,” I countered.

“Look, I don’t want to argue. I have to make some phone calls to let people know that Aunt Stella has passed away. Why don’t we head inside?”

At that moment, I had to let go. Between my past and my need for revenge, my budding relationship with Mason had no chance of survival. There was too much hate and destruction left over from our childhoods that would taint anything we tried to build together.

Over the course of a year, I had fallen in love with Mason. He owned my heart and probably always would. My love for him was the reason I couldn’t be with him. If going after Benji, Cam, and Danny was dangerous, I couldn’t put Mason at risk.

“I need time, Mason. I think it would be best if I left for a few days and worked on getting my head together,” I stated flatly.

He shrugged and I could tell I hurt him. “Fine. You can have Aunt Stella’s car. Keep it for as long as you like.”

Tears blurred my vision as I watched him head indoors. I should have been there for him and not wallowing in my own self-pity. His aunt had just passed away and I should have been helping him deal with his grief. Maybe it was for the best if he ended up hating me. I desired revenge, but I also needed him to stay safe.

It drizzled on the day of Stella’s funeral. My heels dug into the moist ground as I marched to the small gathering of people under an erected tent. The faces were mostly unfamiliar, except for a couple of clients I recognized from past visits to the Chadwick House. Mason sat stiffly in a chair next to the coffin, keeping his eyes on the reverend that was relaying words of comfort to the gathering.

I longed to push my way to the front and sit next to him. I would grab his hand and whisper a thousand apologies into his ear. I would promise to stay at the Chadwick House with him and start a new life together. Finally, I would tell him that I loved him and pray that he felt the same.

Mason deserved better than what I could offer him. I was blinded by my need to make my attackers pay for what they did to me. I couldn’t rest until I felt they have done their penance. Dragging Mason into a revenge quest would prove disastrous.

I had left the Chadwick House after gathering up most of my meager belongings. Mason had said goodbye before I left, but I felt chilled by his manner when I found him sitting alone in the kitchen. The lights were dimmed and a bottle of Jack Daniels and a tumbler was set on the table in front of him.

After a light peck on his cheek, I hurried out of there as quickly as possible. His hand snaked around my waist before I made it out of the door. His kiss was a balm to my tortured mind and it was also a promise. His lips were insistent and I yielded to them. He wasn’t giving up on us. He would give me space, but not for long.

After a few short minutes, the crowd began to disperse. The reverend approached Mason and offered his condolences. Mason shook his hand and stood up from the folding chair. He saw me in his peripheral vision and excused himself from the reverend. I gave him a hesitant smile as he approached.

“You’re here,” he said as if I was a phantom.

“Of course,” I assured him and squeezed his hand. Truthfully, I had dreaded coming to the cemetery. Stella had meant more to me than I ever anticipated. It was hard letting her go and coming to grips with the sacrifice she made to lift her amnesia spell.

An awkward silence ensued. Mason never took his eyes off of me and I could see the questions there. I looked away from his penetrating stare and focused on his hands instead. I said lightly, “You’re wearing the ring I gave you.”

“I never take it off,” he answered.

My emotions were clogging my mind. I had promised myself that I would come to the cemetery, pay my condolences, and then leave to the airport without a second thought about Mason. Instead, his closeness was making me think that I was a fool to believe that Mason could ever be so easily removed from my heart.

His voice broke into my reverie. “Where have you been?”

“I stayed at a hotel for the last couple of days about twenty minutes from here,” I said. After his silence, I confessed, “I booked a flight to Florida for tonight.”

“Quinn…” he said in a broken whisper, “don’t go.”

“I have to,” I argued. “Danny Bernard lives there now. He’s in law school.” I laughed without humor. “Can you imagine? He rapes an eight-year-old and wants to have a career defending scumbags that are just like him.”

“Quinn, what’s your plan?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. I figure I’ll just go there and bring him to his knees with my scary witch powers.”

He didn’t laugh at my attempt at levity. “Is there no way I can convince you to let this go and stay with me?”

“It isn’t that I don’t want to be with you, but I can’t,” I told him earnestly. “It’s not only about revenge….” I trailed off. Heat rose to my cheeks as I admitted, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to sleep with you. Now that I’ve witnessed what happened, I’m not sure I can get over it and be intimate with anyone…ever.”

Mason gripped both of my hands. “I’ve never pressured you into anything and I don’t plan on it. I wish you would stop being so stubborn and let me help you.” He bit his lower lip and I could see a plan forming in his mind. He suggested, “Why don’t I come with you?”

“What?”

“You’ll need money. Aunt Stella left me everything and I could help pay for whatever we need. Besides a plane ticket, I’m sure you’ll need money for a hotel, a car rental, food.”

His logic was sound. To be honest, I had run through most of the money my mother had given me before I left Harveys Lake. I only had a few hundred dollars to my name after paying for the plane ticket and the hotel room for the past couple of days.

“But it could be dangerous,” I argued.

“Exactly the reason I should go,” he urged. “I don’t want you anywhere near them. If you are so set on going, I want to be there to protect you.”

“Mason, I’m a witch, I can take care of myself,” I replied.

“So can I,” he retorted. He wiggled his finger with the ring on it. “Plus, I have this as extra protection.”

I should’ve refused him. My rational brain told me how wrong it was to drag him into this. However, the thought of going after the Bernard brothers and Benji alone did terrify me. I said weakly, “The plane leaves at six. There were seats left last night when I booked it.”

He tried to kiss me. I stopped him by pushing at his chest. “We can’t be a couple right now, Mason. If we do this together, it has to be as friends.”

“Is that a challenge, Quinn?” he whispered. “Because you know I’m good at chasing you.”

I almost smiled. I looked behind his shoulder as Stella’s casket was lowered into the ground. He turned with me and frowned deeply. I gave his hand a reassuring squeeze. Maybe, Mason needed me as much as I needed him.

Our future was uncertain, but this moment gave me hope. I understood that Stella wanted us to take care of each other now that she was gone. This path may not be the one she envisioned for me, but maybe once I had my revenge, I could live happily ever after with her nephew. Maybe even a damaged witch could be loved.

For now, I had plans to make. I had to decide how I would bring Danny Bernard to justice. His debt was ten years old and I planned to collect interest on what was my due. Danny had no idea that an executioner was holding an axe over his head and judging the best way to bring it down.

THE END