The Mentor (Necessary Lies Book 1) (11 page)

The love we made after his story was the slow kind, and I was learning that was the kind I craved the most.

But I could feel a coolness in Nolan again. Perhaps digging up the past had been a bad idea. I could tell his head was in a different place now, one where I couldn’t go. One where probably no one got to go.

He sat with his back against the headboard as I straddled him, my legs wrapped around his waist. We said nothing. I ran my hands up and down his back, kissing his shoulder every few minutes, wondering what this silence meant, what any of this meant.

“What are you thinking of?” I whispered to him. “I’m sorry if I caused you to think of things that make you upset. I just want to know you.”

His eyes were on me again. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me in for a long, lingering kiss.

“No, Camilla. That story is from a past I have long since let go of. I’m thinking of you,” he said. “And how long I wanted this.”

I laughed, “How long? A whole 3 days?”

He shook his head, “No. Longer than that, Camilla. You’ve only known me three days. I’ve known you much longer.”

I pulled back from him for a moment, “What do you mean?” Goosebumps rose on my flesh.

“I told you,” he continued. “I want to always be honest with you. That’s the only way to gain trust. Even when the truth is hard to tell.”

“Okay,” I said, slowly. “Nolan, I can’t take too many more revelations. This week has seen enough of those for me.”

“I know,” he said. “But now that we’ve become… close, I feel like it’s time you know everything.”

He stood up and I watched his naked body as it paced across the room and over to the window. I wrapped the comforter around me, shivering in anticipation of what he was about to tell me.

“Your father,” Nolan started. “He entrusted me with a lot of things over the years. I’ve had to do things and see things that haven’t always been easy to stomach. I’ve told more lies than truths, hurt people to assist other people who maybe didn’t deserve my help. I know things about people that have made me a cynic about the human race in general. But that was always fine. Growing up with the man I did, I knew how truly terrible people were capable of being, even when they had the world at their feet.

“But there was nothing more important to your father than you. Although I know you find that hard to believe, it’s the truest thing you could ever know about him. It was a very poorly kept secret that Richard had a daughter. Everyone in our world knew and it was part of the reason he kept his distance from you. As powerful a man as your father was, I always figured you’d be safe, that nobody would dare to involve you, but I’m not a parent. He would get nervous when you were both in the same place at the same time, afraid one of our enemies would take advantage of that scenario to get back at him and the firm. Because you have to understand, in our line of work we do have enemies, Camilla.”

I wasn’t sure what he was getting at, but it made me nervous to know that my father and I would have ever been in danger when we were together. I’d been completely oblivious to the world Dad was a part of.

“Well, the one thing he entrusted me with,” Nolan said. “Was you, Camilla. With protecting you, with making sure nothing happened to you.”

“Right,” I said, confused. “So, what? You were my bodyguard? That I didn’t know about?”

“Kind of,” Nolan replied. “Your father didn’t want his work to interfere with you having a normal life. He knew your life was already impacted enough by his absence. And when your mother died, that made it even more difficult. He didn’t want to share with you the stakes of his work, because he knew it would make you afraid. And he didn’t want that. He wanted you to feel safe, to build the kind of life you wanted.”

I still wasn’t sure what Nolan was getting at so I didn’t say anything.

“When you went off to college in Virginia,” Nolan said. “That’s when my assignment began. The firm bought a home in Charlottesville. I have lived there the last four years keeping watch over you. Making sure you were safe, that no harm would come to you.”

What. The. Fuck.

I stood up, suddenly feeling sick to my stomach.

“You
spied
on me?” I yelled. “Are you fucking serious?” I could feel the blood rushing through my veins, the sound of it pumping through my ears.

“I didn’t creep into your room at night, Jesus,” Nolan said. “I kept a watch. I never went in your room and I never did anything that changed the course of your day. I was the Secret Serviceman you didn’t know you had. That’s it.”

“
That’s it?
” I said. “You really don’t think that’s a big deal? I had someone spying on me, someone my father sent. So instead of you know, doing what normal fathers would do and just calling me or seeing me himself, he paid for someone to spy on me for four years. I’m not the first lady, or a Senator, or anyone. I didn’t need a protector. I needed my father.” I had never been so angry in my entire life.

“I don’t disagree,” he said, walking toward me. I wanted to push him away, to pull away from him and run. But Nolan still had a hold on me. Even after finding out the truth.

“I told him that, many times,” Nolan said. “Especially after the first year. You didn’t need me or anyone. I was struck by how independent you are, Camilla. I had this assumption on what kind of girl you were. The daughter of one of the wealthiest men in the country, someone who’d been born to privilege and into a luxury most people can’t come close to imagining. I figured you’d be a whiny, entitled, bitch. If I’m being honest.”

I rolled my eyes, “Wow. Sounds like you really had me pegged.”

Nolan shook his head, “I was so wrong. I knew that right away. You didn’t rush sororities, you didn’t get wasted every weekend, and you didn’t treat people like other girls of your status treated people. You were different. You saw people. You ached to see the world.”

“How do you know that?” I asked. “If you didn’t spy on me?”

“Well, I was in your world. I knew you were studying English and that you loved to read more than you loved to do anything else. You were kind to the friends you had. You had a roommate your second semester of your freshman year that was terrible. She went off to Hampden-Sydney one night and got so drunk she couldn’t drive herself back to Charlottesville. Even though she was terrible to you, you still drove to her, in the middle of the night. Just so she’d be okay.” He smiled. “It was the first time I realized you were more than what you seemed. And I suddenly realized I shouldn’t be protecting you. Because I was falling for you.”

He was in front of me now, his lips so close to my own. The heat from his body permeated through the sheet I was holding up between us.

“I was thinking of you in a less than professional manner,” he whispered in my ear. “You were beautiful. Physically exquisite. But your heart is what I was drawn to, Camilla. Your desire for depth, your incessant optimism, despite what you’ve dealt with. I was drawn to your soul.”

I allowed the sheet to drop and our bodies were one again, his hands in my hair, my lips on his, kissing him with a hunger I hadn’t known before. The thought of him watching me should have angered me, should have made me feel violated. But knowing he’d been in the shadows looking into my life only made me want him. It only made me wish he’d revealed himself to me then, so we didn’t need to be without the other all this time.

“Show me what you wanted to do to me,” I gasped. “Show me, Mr. Weston.”

“I wanted to teach you,” he said, pushing me back onto the bed, immediately entering me, his hardness overwhelming. I wondered if he’d ever been this hard before. I couldn’t imagine so. “I wanted to be the first and only man to have you, Camilla. To taste your skin, to watch your face as you come, to be the man that makes you scream as you run your hands down my back. Some days I wanted to fuck you and other days I wanted to make love to you. I was torn in every way and I couldn’t function sometimes from my desire for you.”

My thighs were wrapped around his waist as his thrusts battered me, making me moan with both pleasure and pain. His size and his aggression would be my undoing.

“When did it start?” I said into his ear as he pounded me.

“Within a week of being on assignment,” he said. “It was impossible not to fall for you, Camilla. When it came to you, there was no fucking hope for me.”

Later when we were spent and exhausted, he held me in his arms, both of us content in the silence.

But I always had my after-sex questions.

“Was there a time you ever really had to protect me?” I asked, running my index finger across his chest. “I mean, did anyone actually ever want to hurt me to get to my father?”

“Not so much,” he said as he kissed my head. “No one from our world anyway.”

I looked up at him, “So tell me. Anything exciting happen in the line of duty?”

He smiled, “Just little things. One time you had a flat tire. You were going to visit a friend of yours at Mary Baldwin and you got a flat as you were trying to cross Afton Mountain. Your cell signal must have been lousy because you started walking to a gas station to use their phone. I had one of my guys who happened to be in town follow you to make sure no one messed with you, not that anyone would, it was the middle of the day. Well, while you were gone, I fixed the flat. Put on a new tire. You came back with a friend of yours from school and you were shocked that it was fixed. Your friend thought you were crazy.” Nolan laughed. “I got a real kick out of that one.”

“That was you?” I yelled, laughing and punching him softly in the side. “I’ve been wondering for years how that happened! I actually thought maybe I was crazy. I tried to tell my friend Alicia that the tire really had been flat but I don’t think she ever really bought it. It’s been the biggest mystery of my life! I had to call AAA and tell them to cancel the tow, that my tire was now ‘unflat’. They thought I was insane.”

Nolan laughed, pulling me in to kiss me on the mouth now, his hands wandering down the curves of my hips.

“That was a funny story,” he said, suddenly more somber. “There have been other times, though, when things weren’t as funny. You have walked home twice from parties by yourself where a guy from the party followed you home. Both times I had to make them take detours.”

“Who?” I asked, sitting up, chills running up and down my body.

“Someone from your dorm your sophomore year. Russell.”

Russell Tybell. Creepy kid, engineering major.

“That’s terrible,” I said, shuddering. “It happened twice?”

“Yep,” Nolan said, his voice cold now. I could tell he was thinking about it and it upset him. “The other motherfucker was a fraternity douche who spiked your drink. Roofies.”

“What?” I asked. “When?”

“Your freshman year, you went to your first party on Rugby Road. With your two suitemates who were both rushing. The frat had a bowl of punch that only the women were allowed to drink from. Well, that was because it was spiked. You stumbled out of the house an hour later and one of the guys tried to help you home. Instead, I helped him to a knee to the groin and the promise that I would kill him if he ever went near you again.”

My jaw dropped.

There had been a night where I had no memory of getting home. I’d been very sick the next day and I suspected something like roofies might have happened, but I was just grateful that somehow I’d made it home that night. Now I knew why.

“I carried you home,” he continued. “I knew you wouldn’t remember, so I took a chance, let you see me. Your eyes were glassy, but it was the first time I got to touch you. I knew it was a bad idea but I couldn’t resist.”

I stared at him, in complete shock over what was happening around me all these years. And I’d never even noticed.

“I can’t believe I was that out of it,” I whispered. “How could I not remember you? You rescued me.” I leaned in to kiss him, to thank him.

“You rescued me back,” he said, and with that I was his. Again.

********

Maybe Freud would have been able to psychoanalyze me and figure out why it was I was so drawn to a man who had essentially been stalking me the last four years of my life. But despite his confession, it didn’t sever my want for Nolan. The thought of him protecting me and keeping watch over me for some fucked up reason made me satisfied. All those times I’d felt so lonely and forgotten; yet there he’d been.

What happened from here? I wasn’t sure. And had my father known? I guessed not.

So many questions to ask. But after being with Nolan all day, I was exhausted. My body had been overexerted and I was at capacity. I fell asleep in his arms, a happy woman, who for the first time possibly ever, felt truly safe and right where she should be.

********

I awoke with a start sometime in the middle of the night.

Nolan’s side of the bed was empty, and my stomach dropped, wondering where he could be. I wrapped the Egyptian cotton sheet around my body and stood. I was sore, particularly in my inner thighs, and I couldn’t help but grin to myself. That soreness came from only one thing.

But where was he? In the kitchen?

I quietly tip toed down the staircase where I could see a light in the kitchen. Walking in, however, it was clear Nolan wasn’t there.

I thought I heard a voice coming from where his bedroom was.

I slowly walked down the hall, not wanting to scare him or surprise him, but also curious as to what he was doing in the middle of the night.

The closer I got, the more evident it was that Nolan was speaking. On a phone call? It was 3 am. Unless it was someone in a different time zone. What time was it in Europe?

As much as I hated to eavesdrop, something told me not to make him aware I could hear him. So like I had done just a couple days ago, I stood quietly outside his cracked bedroom door.

“… She doesn’t know everything,” he said to whoever was on the other line. “She’s your typical dumb, rich college girl. Only thinking about when she can get her manicured hands on her trust fund Daddy and Mommy left her…”

Who was he talking about? It couldn’t be me? But who else?

I leaned in for more.

“Yeah, I’ve been talking to her,” he said. “We’ve been stuck in this damn house half the week… Well, yes. Sex was what happened, but that’s all it was. I needed something to do to get me through this week. I think she needed it to, poor girl just lost her dad, needed to get her mind on other things… You know, girls today. They love to hook up…”

Okay. He was definitely talking about me.

And my heart broke right there. As if there was much left to break.

********

I’d gone straight to my room and started packing up my bags. I didn’t want to spend another second with him. He was clearly a sociopath, able to be whoever he needed to be in a moment. He wasn’t my protector at all. He was a lying snake, one that I’d been stupid enough to let near my body.

As I threw my clothes into my Burberry duffel I glanced at myself in the reflection of my bedroom window. My hair was wild and my face puffy from crying. I hated that I’d let him do this to me. This is why I’d stayed guarded most of my life, to keep people from rejecting me, from hurting me.

But Nolan. I had let my guard down for him. Only him.

Was anything he told me true? He did work for the firm. Clearly you didn’t do what he did without being good at lying and fooling people.

I’ve told more lies than truths, hurt people to assist other people who maybe didn’t deserve my help.

Well, he’d told me himself; he was a professional liar.

But he’d crossed a line. He’d made me feel for him.

God, I was such a fucking idiot.

I needed to get out of here. Did Uber come up to mountain mansions? I fumbled around for my iPhone. I might as well find out.

By the time I’d found the phone and was scrolling through my applications to find a driver, Nolan was standing in my doorway, a puzzled look on his face.

“Camilla,” he said. “What are you doing?”

“Packing,” I said. “I’m leaving. I need to get back home.” I hoped my voice sounded cold, but I could feel it shaking.

“What happened?” he asked, walking toward me. I put my hand up, a virtual block. I didn’t want him any closer to me.

“Don’t,” I said. “I don’t want you to come any closer. I want you to go back downstairs and let me go. I don’t want to ever hear from you again. If there’s probate or legal shit I need to do, send someone else to handle it. Anyone but you.”

He froze, stunned by my words.

“What happened?” he said. “You were sleeping…”

“And you were talking on the phone,” I replied. “But you know what? You’re right about one thing. I
am
a dumb, rich college girl. That’s the part you definitely got correct. Extremely dumb.” I slammed the top of my luggage shut and laid my body across it so I could zip it closed. “But I learn fast, Nolan. I don’t let people fool me more than once.”

Now he understood.

“You heard my phone call,” he said. “I can explain…”

“No. I don’t want to hear it,” I said. “I wouldn’t believe you anyway. I’m taking an Uber to the airport and I’m going back home.”

“You can’t do that,” he said. “Camilla, that call was not what you think it was. I had to say those things…”

“Bullshit,” I said. “And it doesn’t matter anyway. You told me it couldn’t mean anything. That it could just be one night. So there you go. You had your one night to fuck the stupid girl you were forced to babysit all these years. Was it a good
hook up
?”

There was pain in his eyes now. Good. I hoped I put it there.

“Camilla, no.” He shook his head, “You can’t leave like this. Please at least let me take you to the airport. I can talk on the way there, maybe change your mind…”

“That’s all you want to do!” I screamed. “Is change my mind! For your own fucked up agenda. All you do is lie! I only hope the whole stupid story about the baseball ticket was true, so you’d have an inkling of the pain you’ve caused me. Did you out on this whole charade because you want me to put you in charge of shit? Let you run the firm, have all the power? Have it, Nolan! I told you I don’t want any of it. As a matter of fact, I don’t even want the name Hunt! I’m going to change it. I’m going to change everything about me that is linked to you, my father or any of it. I’ll start a new life and try to forget how you made me feel tonight. Like I was a piece of garbage.”

He tried to reach out to me. His face looked like he might cry. But I couldn’t believe any of it. Nothing I had ever been told was true.

So why start to believe now?