At least she knew how he felt, Andy consoled himself later as he stepped into the flagellation of the cold shower, though he wouldn’t mind a warm end to the night instead of a freezing finish before bed.
For Montana there was a lot to think about.
It was time to consider life after Douglas without guilt. Without apologising for being alive when he wasn’t. She acknowledged to herself she had loved her husband until the end.
But she and Dawn weren’t meant to be lonely and alone.
She needed a man to talk to and she so loved talking to Andy. Dawn needed a good father and Andy would slip into that role with barely a ripple—had already slipped into that role beautifully.
Andy would be a man to learn and live with and grow older with. He could so easily be that one
person in the world to spend her life with, as she would be his.
She missed that. She missed a lot of things.
She loved the way Andy had shown her tonight how special he found her. The roses, the romance, his obvious pleasure in her pleasure. The smoulder in his eyes when he looked at her. And the hardest part was that she knew he would be a wonderful lover. As generous in bed as out, and that thought brought a flush to her skin that heated her right down to her toes.
If she started to think of Andy’s strong neck and broad chest and those glorious shoulders and arms, she’d be a basket case.
If she was honest with herself, she’d admit she wanted to be seduced by Andy. Feel his hands on her skin. That had been the main factor in refusing to walk by the lake tonight. She’d wanted distance before she irrevocably committed herself, and if he’d leant on her tonight she’d have been unable to say no.
And the final reason she held back was the realisation she’d fallen in love with Andy and she was terrified it was a different, more complete love than that she had shared with Douglas.
But suddenly time to spend together deserted them.
By May the birthing centre application had been assessed and passed for their first birth.
The wing had been furnished like a home, not a hospital. Montana had begun the antenatal clinic
and staff had been finalised. All they needed was a woman in labour.
Along with her administration days there seemed little time to spend with Andy. At least new staff had been found in two young midwives whose husbands worked at the mine.
Sara and Sue couldn’t believe their luck at finding their dream jobs. Though not long graduated, both had loads of experience in a tertiary-affiliated birth centre in Brisbane, and were very happy to work with the base hospital whenever they needed to transfer a patient.
Each would work two shifts on call and two off and Montana would be the second person when birth was imminent.
More midwives were needed but there was no hurry. Montana doubted they would be run off their feet in the beginning.
By June Sara and Sue had accepted four women each on their case loads, which meant the women visited the unit for antenatal care with more visits as they drew closer to their due dates. As yet they hadn’t had to pass any women with complications to Andy to refer on to the base obstetricians.
The first baby was due at the end of June and the three midwives carried their mobile phones everywhere, even where reception proved tricky.
Montana planned to caseload only with Emma until Dawn was older, and that left her free to be second on call when needed.
Today was Montana’s day for Emma to be checked.
‘So how are you keeping, Emma?’ Montana let down the blood-pressure cuff on her arm as she studied Emma’s face.
Emma shrugged miserably. ‘I’m OK. Baby kicks a lot and now I’m getting heartburn after I eat all the time.’
‘When you have baby, that will go away. Try smaller meals. Give your tummy time to empty before you drink anything. That will stop the acid contents splashing up through the floppy door leading from your tummy into your throat.’
‘Why have I got a floppy door now?’ Emma sounded just a little fed up and Montana sympathised with the tiredness of late pregnancy.
‘It’s all the fault of those muscle-loosening hormones. Your body can’t pick and choose between muscles in your pelvis and muscles in your stomach, but your body is preparing itself for birth. Remember you can hurt your back easily now, too, as muscles can over-stretch.’
‘I’m sick of me. How’s Dawn?’ Emma wanted to know. Emma had become fond of Montana’s baby.
Montana smiled. ‘She’s rolling over onto her tummy and back again and puts everything into her mouth. And she loves having conversations with Andy. He talks, she gurgles and then he talks and she shrieks. It’s so funny. You’ll have to come and visit again.’
‘I’d like that.’
‘You and Tommy are coming to the class tonight, aren’t you?’
‘You bet. I want to see Andy in front of a class.’
That night Montana ran the first antenatal night class ever in Lyrebird Lake, with four women and their men as well as Emma and Tommy on a revision course.
The sessions proved popular, especially as the husbands and partners had never had the chance to attend before.
Andy gave descriptions of labour complications from the medical aspect and even enjoyed himself. They discussed reasons for transfer out of the centre to the base hospital and talked about premature labour and antenatal medical complications as well.
By the end even Tommy said he was glad he’d come.
The first of July heralded the cooler weather and when Montana carried Dawn in to a late breakfast Andy had a surprise for them both.
He’d tied pink balloons around Dawn’s high chair and a handmade card sat on her little tray table.
‘Happy birthday, Dawn.’ The others clapped as Montana carried her daughter in and she stopped in the doorway.
‘You’re all mad. It’s not her birthday for another six months.’
Andy sniffed. ‘It’s her half-birthday and it’s the first of July. I declare a Lyrebird Lake holiday because it’s Sunday.’ Andy swooped on Dawn and flew her over to her chair to see the balloons.
Dawn cackled in delight and waved her hands as she tried to capture Andy’s face. Louisa stood with her hands in her apron pockets, clapping her hands, and even Ned had appeared early to be part of the festivities.
Montana looked around at the caring and warmth of these people who had taken her into their home. At a time when she’d needed unobtrusive support they’d given unstintingly, and she could feel the sting of tears. Andy would have arranged this. She forced her tears back because the last thing they needed was to think they had upset her.
She sniffed. ‘Who would have thought today was such a momentous day? How could I have forgotten my own daughter’s half-birthday?’
Ned tut-tutted.
Andy nodded sagely. ‘You may have had other things on your mind but it’s OK.’
Louisa bustled up to lift up a pink-iced cake complete with a picture of a sunrise on it and ‘Half’ written in icing.
‘Oh, my.’ Montana peered at the cake. ‘It’s incredible. But won’t we all be sick if we have that for breakfast?’
‘You could squeeze in a wee piece if you eat it after eggs,’ Ned declared sagely.
Even Dawn enjoyed her cake by mushing it gloriously between her fingers, finger-painting her tray and then smearing icing and crumbs onto her mouth. Her little pink tongue darted busily as she crowed and played.
Louisa hovered with a dishcloth, not sure how far and wide Dawn was capable of spreading the mess, while the others backed off.
After the party, Andy tucked Dawn against his side and drew Montana out onto the veranda and into the swing seat.
The three of them swung gently and gazed across the lake. ‘So where would you like to go for Dawn’s birthday?’ Andy said.
‘So this day will get even better?’ she teased.
Andy’s eyes twinkled wickedly and she blushed and looked away. They really hadn’t had time for themselves and she knew Andy wanted to talk again about their future. It was time she met him halfway. ‘We’d love a picnic.’
Montana looked across at the lake and then up to the hills. ‘I hear there’s a waterfall halfway down the creek.’
Andy considered the idea. ‘I did say that but it’s more of a rapid than a waterfall. It’s pretty and the track at the top isn’t too far from the road. I could easily carry Dawn and an esky if you bring the hamper and a rug.’
He thought about it some more. ‘There’s a great clearing not far from the old antimony mine.’
Dawn would love her first picnic. ‘Sounds perfect. Are you on call?’
Andy nodded. ‘But higher up there’s mobile service. And we could take more cake.’
Montana patted her stomach. ‘Not if I want to fit into my jeans.’
Andy raised his eyebrows in mock censure. ‘There’s always room for the good things in life. Trust me.’
T
HREE
hours later, because like any mother it seemed to take Montana so long to organise any expedition with Dawn, they finally found the waterfall. A waist-deep pool beckoned beyond and Andy answered the call even though it was quite cool.
Montana dangled Dawn’s feet at the edge and tried not to stare at Andy as he encouraged her to come in.
Droplets sparkled in his hair and off his strong throat as he played in the water and pretended to splash her. His green eyes wickedly seduced her while he spoke silly talk to Dawn.
When she refused for the third time he dived under the water once more and then lifted himself effortlessly onto the smooth boulder beside Montana.
‘I haven’t been here for ages. I have no idea why not. I’d forgotten how much I love it.’
He was close and wet and half-naked and she wanted to chase rivulets of water down his chest
just to feel the firmness beneath her fingers. Instead she said, ‘It’s good to see you relaxed. You work so hard week in, week out. How do you keep your good humour? That’s what I want to know.’
‘Great friends. Great people.’ He shrugged. ‘It’s not hard.’
She realised his kindness never seemed stretched. Like today and the party he’d organised for Dawn.
‘You should have more time off, Andy,’ she said. ‘Look after yourself, instead of arranging parties for stray mothers and babies.’
He smiled crookedly. ‘I will when I have a reason to take time off.’
He said the words lightly but Montana felt they were directed at her and suddenly the little oasis seemed warmer and more private.
She shifted topic to allow herself time to adjust. ‘How did you remember it was Dawn’s birthday?’
Andy shook his head, denying it had been hard. ‘Forget the day you and Dawn came into my life?’ Andy looked across at her baby dozing now on her mother’s lap. ‘Forget the magic on the mountain on New Year’s Day?’ he said softly, and his words brought back the serenity of that morning.
Then he leant across and kissed her cheek and she could see he really did remember that day with emotion. ‘You were amazing.’
She found herself leaning towards him and his long fingers stroked her jaw and drew her nearer.
Just the feel of his warm strength splayed across her cheek and the caress of his thumb sent sensations tumbling into her stomach and chest, and she couldn’t help but close her eyes. She didn’t see his mouth coming but she’d known it would happen. Wanted it to happen.
His lips brushed at hers with gently swooping sips of first one lip and then the other and then he captured her in a timeless seduction that drew the breath from her in tiny gasps of air and she held onto the back of his head in a quest to stay connected with his mouth.
The sensations caused the world to recede and Dawn didn’t like the lack of attention. She squirmed in Montana’s lap and the moment drifted away, as did Andy’s mouth, and Montana sat back.
‘Perhaps you should go to your room,’ he said softly to Dawn, and smiled ruefully. ‘Your mother and I are talking.’
He stood up. ‘I guess it is her birthday, not mine.’ Andy gathered up his clothes. ‘I’ll dress then unpack the hamper.’
Montana watched him go and wondered if there was an end to his patience. Maybe he was too patient!
They spent the rest of the afternoon discussing their childhoods and important people in their lives while Dawn played happily with shiny stones she couldn’t pick up and watched the activity of nature around the pool.
At two they packed and drove home and not long after Andy went out on a call.
Montana dozed with Dawn on the big bed in her room, but pictures and memories of Andy crowded her mind. Was she wasting her life? Could she be happy with Andy? Would Andy love Dawn as a father?
Yes, of course. To all of them. So why, why couldn’t she just say yes to Andy? Why this ridiculous hesitation and crushing load of guilt about Douglas?
Again she examined the concept that perhaps she hadn’t loved Douglas as she realised she loved Andy, and that made her feel a hundred times more unfaithful to her dead husband.
If it had almost killed her to lose Douglas, what if she married Andy and fell more deeply in love every minute?
What of her soul should anything happen to Andy? How would she ever survive?’
The clarity of that fear had her sitting up on the edge of the bed and her heart pounded in her chest. Maybe that fear was larger than the fear of loneliness and of forgetting Douglas. It was scary to think it might be.
She buried her head under her pillow.
The phone call came through at four-thirty in the afternoon from Tommy.
‘Montana?’ His voice faded in and out with poor reception and Montana walked to the window.
‘Tommy, is that you?’ She couldn’t rationalise
the reason but a cold chill ran down her neck at the sound of his voice.
‘Emma’s missing and I’ve looked and looked.’
Montana frowned. ‘What do you mean, missing?’
‘She went for a walk and didn’t come back.’ There was a thread of panic in Tommy’s voice.
Montana glanced at the clock. ‘Have you told her father?’
‘He’s at the mill with the brothers in the bush and I can’t get through to him.’ Tommy paused and then the words came in a rush. ‘She’s been acting strange and I’m worried.’
Montana squeezed the phone in her hand until her fingers whitened. ‘I’m sure she’s fine, Tommy. Probably just forgot the time.’
‘She left after breakfast and she’d not back yet. She didn’t take anything to eat.’
The dread inside Montana increased. ‘Give me your number and I’ll ring you back.’
Montana tried Andy’s mobile but he was out of range and when she tried the hospital Chrissie said he was in a distant gully visiting an old man in a shack.
Ned had a distressed patient so she couldn’t ask his advice and even Bob, the policeman, had been seconded to give evidence in court. Montana didn’t know who else to contact.
She rang Tommy back. ‘Did she say where she was going? Or give any hints?’
‘Just that she needed to go for a walk. She can’t
have gone far ‘cause she’s pretty big and waddles. She likes to sit in the gully near the mine because there’s a creek but I looked there already.’
Montana tried to think. ‘Have you rung all her friends?’
‘Yep. Even the unfriendly ones. Nobody has seen her today.’ Tommy had actually done well with his sleuthing.
Montana’s brain raced. ‘Was she upset when you talked to her this morning?’
‘Yep,’ he said. ‘She’s been getting queerer every day.’ Montana felt like shaking him and asking why he hadn’t mentioned something before this.
That wouldn’t help and she needed Tommy thinking clearly, not upset by her censure. ‘Fine. I’ll have a drive around in the car, Tommy, and see if I can see her. Do you know if she has her mobile phone?’
‘No.’ Brief and non-explanatory, and she waited for him to elaborate. He didn’t.
Frustration had her grit her teeth. ‘No, she doesn’t have her phone or, no, you don’t know?’
‘Don’t know.’ Tommy began to sound frightened at the unmistakable thread of concern in Montana’s voice.
‘Fine.’ Montana drew a deep breath and calmed her urge to scream. ‘I’ll send a message to Andy with your number and he’ll ring you as soon as he’s back in mobile range.’
She ran through the options in her mind. ‘Tell him what you’ve told me and that I’ll drive to the mine and park my car and walk back to town from there. You come from the bottom up with Andy. It will be dark soon so I’d better go.’
The relief in Tommy’s voice was palpable. ‘Thanks, Montana.’
Montana rubbed her neck, a trait she’d obviously picked up from Andy. ‘You did the right thing, ringing me, Tommy. Now, stay in range so Andy can ring you.’
Montana found Emma, tear-stained and terrified, just as the sun went down, midway between the mine and town. She’d twisted her ankle and her waters had broken.
Montana gathered her in her arms and hugged her, so pleased to see her alive because she’d been having some dark and dismal thoughts as she’d called out in the bush.
Emma clutched Montana’s hand and pushed it low down on her stomach. ‘I haven’t any real pains yet but the five-minute tightenings are getting worse. It’s awfully sore in here.’
Montana spread her fingers around Emma’s belly button and felt the tautness rock hard against her hand. It felt like a contraction to her.
She glanced at her watch in the gathering gloom. Five-thirty. It would be pitch black by six. Shame it wasn’t summer.
‘We need to contact Andy.’ Montana drew her phone from her jeans.
Emma nodded her head vigorously. ‘Yes, please.’
Montana tried and then stood up and tried again. No signal on the phone. She resisted the impulse to throw the offending article into the creek.
‘Look, Emma, I’ll have to climb back up the hill and try for coverage, OK?’
‘No. Don’t leave me.’ Emma turned her tearstained face towards her and clutched Montana’s hand. The fear in her eyes twisted Montana’s heart.
‘It’s OK, Em. I’m not leaving you.’ She eased her hand out of Emma’s. ‘I’ll be five minutes, maximum ten. I’ll talk to Andy and scoot down to you again. Can you cope with that?’
Emma swallowed. ‘OK. But don’t be longer, ‘cause I’m scared and I need you here.’
Montana kissed the top of her head. ‘I’ll be as quick as I can. Sit on the rug I brought. At least it will keep the dampness from the ground getting to you.’
‘Don’t turn your own ankle,’ Emma said with a weak attempt at humour.
Montana smiled. ‘You’re terrific. Back soonest.’ Montana jogged up the path and tried not to think about all the spiders that would be preparing their webs for the night. After only a few minutes she had one bar of reception on her phone and she sent a little prayer of thanks skywards.
When she pressed in Andy’s number the engaged signal had her mumbling under her breath in frustration. She disconnected and climbed a few feet higher.
Unexpectedly the phone rang in her hand and, startled, she allowed it to slide from her fingers and fall to the ground, where it bounced down between two rocks in a crevice just out of reach. Then it rang again.
‘Damn,’ she muttered. She’d have to lie down on the ground and slide her arm between two rocks and feel around for the phone. Her skin crawled at the thought of what else could be in the dark under the rock.
‘I don’t believe this,’ she said out loud as the phone rang again, but the glow from the screen helped and the vibration made it easy to pick the right object.
She shuddered as she stood up and brushed herself down with one hand as she flicked open the phone with her other.
‘Montana?’ Andy’s voice echoed reassuringly in her ear and she’d never been so pleased to hear anybody’s voice. She drew a deep breath and calmed her racing heart.
‘Andy.’ She had to take another breath before she could talk again. ‘I’ve found her. She’s fine but five minutes away from me with no reception so I have to get back to her.’
‘Are you all right?’
‘I’m fine. Just dropped the phone in the dark down a hole and had to fish it out. Yuk.’
She could hear the smile in his voice. ‘OK. Well done. Where are you?’
She shut her eyes for a moment and pictured Emma’s position. ‘It took me thirty minutes to walk from the mine down the hill along the creek. We’re beside the creek and she’s hurt her ankle and can’t walk.’
Montana paused.
He’d love this. Not. ‘By the way, she’s ruptured her membranes and having five minutely contractions.’
There was a moment’s silence while he digested that. Then he said, ‘Of course she has. You do have moments of unusual interest.’ Understatement.
Then he went on. ‘Nothing we can do about that. I had an idea that’s where you would be and I’m halfway there.’
Just like his sister, she thought. ‘Family premonitions?’ It was so reassuring to know he was close.
‘Misty would be proud of me. We’ll come up from the bottom. See you soon.’
‘Soonest.’ She looked at the phone as she shut it and thanked the mobile-phone god for being there.
When Montana skidded to a halt in a shower of pebbles beside Emma she could see the labour would wait for no man, not even Andy.
Emma turned anguished eyes towards Montana
and moaned. She moistened her lips with her tongue, and sighed at the end of the pain, just like Montana had said to do in the classes. ‘I’m going to have my baby here, aren’t I?’
Montana peered into her face in the gloom. ‘You told me you weren’t going to have your baby on a mountain.’
Emma sniffed. ‘It’s only a hill.’
Montana wanted to hug her. ‘Well, that doesn’t count, then. Besides, I think we’d be better to wait to christen our new birthing unit, don’t you think?’
Emma grimaced. ‘Would love to but I don’t think I can wait.’
Montana re-evaluated their position. ‘If that happens, it’s not a tragedy. Women are designed to have babies and at least we have a rug and Andy is on his way with Tommy. Obviously you like the great outdoors and your baby will probably be a bushie too.’
She met Emma’s eyes and hoped her gaze was rock solid with belief. ‘We can manage. I did and you will.’
‘How many people,’ Emma said crossly and drew a panting breath, ‘do you know…’ she breathed again ‘…who had babies in the wild when they meant to have them in hospital?’
Emma glared and Montana smiled to herself. That crossness sounded like transition at the end of first-stage of labour.
‘Um. Just me and maybe you.’ She rubbed
Emma’s arm. ‘Hang in there. I’m here. Andy and Tommy are coming. Try to relax and enjoy the fact you’ll meet your baby very soon.’
‘I’m having a ball.’ Emma grimaced and tried to smile then her tears began to well again. ‘That’s why I went for the walk. Mum told me today that she’d known her nana had had Huntington’s and she’d blocked it out. We had a fight when I asked why she didn’t tell me earlier.’
‘Poor Emma.’ Montana squeezed her hand.
‘It was really dumb of me because Mum’s got enough on her plate without me being hard to get along with. I just got so scared for my baby I wanted to get away and think.’