The Mile Long Spaceship (7 page)

"Not really," she said joining him to sniff the aroma of the coffee that was just starting to perk. "I had to quit school in the eighth grade because I couldn't take gym. Showers, you know. It takes a doctor's certificate to get out of it. We moved again and after that Pap told people that I was seventeen. It worked. But he made me study at home. We didn't go about it with any order at all; when we read up the library, we moved on, always choosing small towns and living out in the country."

The doctor poured coffee into two heavy mugs and carried them back to the desk. Jenny wondered about his stiffness. Maybe an old war wound. His face had the look of suffering remembered, a kind look of understanding not present in a face that hasn't known pain.

She followed him across the office, her wings spread, her feet barely touching the floor. His eyes were fastened almost hungrily on the wings. She drew them in tight and took one of the mugs. He closed his eyes and after a moment asked, "Who was it locked you in?"

"He was a doctor," she said faintly. "I was out one day and I landed on a rocky slope. I don't know if I did it, or if it just happened, but rocks started to slide and one hit my shoulder before I could get out. I managed to get home, but then I fainted and scared Pap half to death. When I woke up I was in a hospital. My shoulder was bandaged and I was wearing a gown that tied in the back out of reach. I couldn't get free and I could see bars on the window. I was terrified. A doctor tried to get me to sign a paper of some kind, so he could operate on me, and when I wouldn't do it, they gave me a hypo. The next thing I knew Pap was there with a shotgun and he was cutting the gown off me. We got out, and believe me, we really ran that time."

Dr. Lindquist stood up and came to her side. Puzzledly he asked, "Why would he want to operate like that? What good would you do him with your wings gone?"

"He wasn't going to take them off," she answered bitterly. "He was going to sever some muscles so I couldn't fly. He told Pap it had to be done or I'd die, but Pap wouldn't sign either. He was going ahead anyway. Then he was going to exhibit me to some of his colleagues, and write articles, and after he was famous, he was going to operate and make me normal."

Dr. Lindquist swore once and turned away to pour them more coffee. "Why are you here now? And how did you know about me?"

Jenny rose with her coffee and went over to the window. With her back to him she said in a low voice, "I said I found out about boys, but I didn't, not really. You see, after the operation attempt, I really was sick and I couldn't fly. I got to know some of our new neighbors. There was one boy... I was really seventeen by then, and he was eighteen, or nineteen. He would come over and sit and look at me and be tongue-tied, and I began to dream about him. We had a hammock, we always took it with us," she paused, but the doctor nodded his understanding and she continued without explaining, "and one night I was sitting on it and he came over with a box of candy. He sat down on the ground and began pulling out grass, one blade at a time, and altogether it took him almost an hour to get around to proposing to me. I knew it was coming, and I was afraid, but I didn't know how to head him off. I just sat there and remembered Johnny Roland and his yell when he felt... Anyway, I couldn't say anything because I also remembered how Johnny's hands felt and made me feel before he..." Shakily she laughed and sat down demurely, her hands resting in her lap. "You must think I'm just a promiscuous woman."

"Not at all, Jenny. I think... Never mind. What happened?"

"I told him to come back in an hour. Then I sent Pap to the store for something or other and I undressed and put on a robe. When Johnny came back, he came into the living room, and I took off the robe." She caught a look of amusement on the doctor's face and quickly she exclaimed, "Oh, it was awful! You should have seen him! All I wanted was for him to make love to me and he fell on his knees and started to pray. That was too much. I was furious with him and suddenly I saw him as a childish, ignorant, superstitious idiot. In my most menacing voice I told him I'd have my eyes on him for the rest of his life and he'd better repent his sins. Then I flew away."

The doctor laughed a long time. "Jenny, Jenny," he said. "And then, no doubt fighting mad, you tried to prove to yourself that you could get a man."

"Exactly," she snapped. "But I couldn't. One ran away and came back with hedge shears. Another fainted dead away. A third one began muttering chants he had picked up somewhere down in New Orleans. The last one asked if I was born or hatched. I gave him a ride he'll never forget! But by then I was tired of it all and gave up. Until now."

"Jenny," the doctor asked seriously, "have you ever been kissed by a man who knew about the wings?"

She turned to him and nodded. "That's why this is an emergency, Dr. Lindquist. I'm really in love this time, and he loves me."

The doctor turned and walked to his desk seating himself behind it professionally. A subtle change had come over him that puzzled Jenny. This must be how he apppeared to his other patients, and the smiling, understanding man he had been before was reserved for unofficial visits. She wished he hadn't gone to his desk. "And now you want to know if I can take them off for you, is that it?" he asked.

Jenny felt her wings rise up in sudden reaction. "No! Never!" More quietly she sat down again. "Don't you see, I can't! I've thought about it, but I can't. What if, in all the world, you were the only one who could see blue, would you give it up just because no one else could appreciate it?" She studied her fingernails minutely. "I said I read a lot, didn't I? Oh, darn it!" she wailed suddenly. "That's all I know! Just what I read."

Dr. Lindquist leaned forward and said, "You mean you just want me to tell you the facts of life?"

She swallowed convulsively and drew back from his incredulous gaze. "Not exactly," she mumbled. "I read the biology books... It's just that I want to know if I can have children, and are they going to be like me... And how..." Her voice was nearly inaudible when she finished, "And how can I do it? The damned wings keep getting in the way."

His shout of laughter was explosive and it was a long time before he spoke. Jenny looked at him angrily until he finished. "I don't think it's very funny," she fumed. "This is a very serious problem for me."

"Oh, Jenny," he gasped. "I'm sorry. Wait a minute." He moved stiffly across the room and ran his finger across the backs of books in a glass doored case. "Ah, here we are. And here." He went on and extracted a third one. He placed the books before her with a courtly bow. "These should solve the second problem. As for the first... I'll have to examine you, you know."

She bit her lip and lowered her eyes. He led her to the examining room and looked baffled as she shook her head at the table. "I can't," she muttered. "Can't you get it through your head that
I cannot lie down on my back!"

"Don't get excited," he growled. "I didn't say on your back. On your side. And may the Lord have pity on your doctor if you do get pregnant!"

She eyed the table doubtfully and turned to look at the doctor, but he was bent over the sink washing his hands. In a small voice she asked, "Should I finish undressing?"

"That is the usual procedure," he replied coldly.

Moving slowly she stepped out of her panties and undid the pin that held the sheet about her. She was approaching the table when he neared her and held out his hand, "I'll help you," he said. She shuddered noticeably at his touch and felt the blood flooding her face and neck as his eyes passed over her body. Abruptly he turned away. "Put the sheet back on," he said hoarsely. "I'll fluoroscope you."

He positioned her behind the machine and closed the door. "It'll take several minutes for my eyes to adjust," he said in a very professional voice. After a moment of silence he asked, "What makes you think you're in love this time?"

Jenny felt the coldness of the machine pressing against her and she sighed. "I've followed spring all the way up from Mississippi," she said. "When the trees start blooming, first the farmers come out, then little boys with kites, and then lovers." She sighed again. "I was over in the mountains watching spring, so to speak. There was a peach tree in bloom and I was sitting in a pin oak looking at the pink blossoms against the blue sky. Suddenly there was a crash of a car, and it was Steve. I went down to see if he was hurt, and he was so handsome... Naturally I couldn't leave him alone to freeze, and he would have frozen. So I held him all night and wrapped my wings around both of us. He hurt his ankle in the crash, that's all, but he couldn't walk all the way to the road for help until morning."

She stopped and the doctor's voice sounded very close and very unbelieving as he asked, "And just like that you fell in love?"

"Not just like that," she retorted. "He was fainting and I had to help him, didn't I?"

"Was he fainting before or after he got a glimpse of you flying around in the altogether?" the doctor put in sarcastically. "And while I'm thinking of it, do you always fly like that? Your bottom is wind burned."

"Oh," she cried. "See, that's what made him so different? He'd never say a thing like that! He couldn't even believe in me most of the night. He thought he was delirious and that I was an angel. He talked so... so pretty to me. No one ever talked like that before, not after seeing the wings."

The doctor's laugh was short and mocking. He did something to the machine and it glowed. His voice sounded muffled when he spoke again. "And you're in love with him."

"Yes," she said shortly. "I fell in love with him. I felt exactly the way the books describe it, shivery and funny in the middle. And he did too. I stayed with him until morning and we heard a car coming. Then he kissed me and I promised to come to his cabin tonight. We're going to be married."

"Oh, good Lord," the doctor exclaimed and turned off the machine. "You're ok. Everything's there that should be there. Come on." He held the door open and followed her into the office. "If he loves you so much, why the delay of a week? Why didn't you go to him right away, or better still, why didn't you go with him?"

"He had to come to the city about his job, and he had to see a doctor about his ankle, and then he was going back to his cabin in the mountains and wait for me. Isn't that romantic? A cabin in the mountains. And then I had some things I had to do."

"Like barging into my office?"

"I didn't want to do it like that," she shot back. "That stupid nurse of yours thinks she's God. You must lose a lot of business because of her." She took a deep breath. "I'm sorry about tonight. Really I am. I ruined your evening. Probably your wife is worrying..."

"I'm not married," he interrupted.

"Oh?" She gave him a quick look and unconsciously almost shook her head. "Anyway," she said after considering him and leaving it, "I had to have some answers. After Steve—that's his name—left, I flew back home and made Pap tell me the name of the doctor who delivered me. Then I went to Tennessee and looked him up. He remembered all right, but I couldn't talk to him. He's so old. I told him I needed a doctor I could trust and he gave me your name. He said you specialized in abnormalities, that you devoted your whole life to helping people, that you went out and looked them up in order to help them even. Then I came here."

The doctor sat down on the edge of his chair and looked at her quietly. "Are you sure about this man, Jenny? Do you know the difference between love and infatuation? Do you have any idea of what spring can do to a beautiful, lonely girl?"

She nodded and felt herself blushing again as her hand involuntarily closed over the books he had put on the desk.

"Take your things in there and dress," he said brusquely. "Or are you going to fly?"

Her eyes were on the window and again she nodded.

"Wait a minute," he ordered. He went into the small adjoining room and returned with a large jar of cream. "Rub this all over yourself. It goes right in and will keep you from windburning or getting cold." She looked at him startled and he shrugged. "I have a patient who spends most of his time under water," he explained. "Seems he has gills and lungs and prefers to use the gills. That keeps him warm."

Silently she took the jar into the dressing room and rubbed it in. It vanished without a trace in a few moments. Hesitantly she paused at the window. "Doctor," she said, "thank you. If I hadn't met Steve first... I mean, you've been awfully nice..." She dropped the sheet and, clutching the books to her, she was in the air; feeling the warm updraft from the city fill her wings, she climbed and banked. She looked at the window, but already he was gone and she headed west, climbing.

She flew to the cabin unerringly and slowed only as she reached the clearing. Her heart was beating wildly and she found herself shivering although she didn't feel any cold through the ointment the doctor had given her. Her stomach felt funny with an ache that wasn't really an ache. Drawing her wings up close to her she skimmed through the trees and landed on one at the edge of the clearing. She sat on a massive branch waiting for the wild beating of her heart to subside, trying to rid herself of a sudden weakness. Gradually she became aware of smoke, cigarette smoke, and of movement. She pressed back against the tree trunk and listened and looked.

Finally she sighted the figures, a man and a woman. The woman was stubbing out a cigarette on the side of a tree. Jenny flattened herself on the branch and draped her wings over her body; they were coming near.

"Steve, if this is a gag..." the woman was saying in a low, menacing voice.

"You won't think it's a gag when you see her," he whispered back. "Just keep your eyes on that clearing. She—it—whatever the hell it was will show. Did you have any trouble getting that mask?"

"No. I don't like any part of it, though. You can't kidnap a girl and put her in a circus merely because she has wings. She can talk and yell, can't she?"

"She won't be able to when I get through," he muttered, "God, those wings! Must have over a twelve foot wing span! With that bird's mask on, and her mouth taped shut... All we need is to keep her doped up real good, and, baby, we're in the money! Shh!" They became silent and Jenny listened too. "Thought I heard wings," Steve grunted. "Look, you stay here and watch. I'd better get by the door where she can see me when she gets near. Remember what you're to do?"