The Mill House (10 page)

A few minutes later he was standing in the bath under a fierce cascade of water when she sauntered in to watch, parts of her body still smeared with strawberry juice and cream. Her readiness for more was as easy to read in her eyes as it was in the response he could feel tightening in his groin. As they looked at each other he continued to wash, until finally he pulled her in to join him and they

watched his hands soaping her, and the water washing it away.

'I don't have time,' he told her gruffly, as she circled his neck with her arms and hooked a leg around his waist.

'Just put it in,' she murmured.

He slid into her, then caught her before she lost her balance, and thrust into her again.

'I have to go,' he said. 'I promised Dan.'

She looked up at him, and reaching behind her turned off the water. 'For a bastard, you're a good man,' she told him.

'Don't you believe it,' he muttered, sliding gently in and out of her. Then forcing himself to pull sharply away, he stepped out of the bath and grabbed a towel. A moment later the shame of mentioning Dan's name while he was inside her, and the guilt of being where he was when Julia called, overwhelmed him to a point where he could barely wait to get out of there.

Hearing Sylvia climb out of the bath he kept his back turned, and continued to dry himself, until she came to stand so close behind him that he could feel her nipples against him.

'Josh,' she said, as he moved roughly away. 'It's only sex, remember?'

Lifting the towel he began rubbing his hair.

She put a hand on his shoulder and turned him to face her. 'We discussed this,' she reminded him. 'We agreed. It's best for Julia if you come to me for sex, because with anyone else you'd be running the risk of all kinds of complications. With me you know there'll only ever be this.'

'And that makes it right?' he said cuttingly.

'Josh, we're doing it because we care about her. When she's ready to sleep with you again, this will all be over. No-one will be hurt, and no-one, but us, will ever have to know.'

His eyes were still harsh as he looked at her. 'Don't you have a conscience at all?' he challenged.

Her face relaxed into a smile. 'Of course, when it's necessary,' she responded. 'But my motive isn't what another woman's might be, to split you up so I can have you to myself. It's to stop you looking elsewhere and keep you two together. And OK, to have some fun myself, because you're not the only one who's wanted this for a long time, I have too.' She continued to smile and regarded him with mounting amusement, seeing that his conscience was still punishing him. 'I wish she knew how much you love her,' she said. 'Correction, I wish she could make herself believe it.'

'She used to,' he answered, turning away. 'I don't know what made her stop.'

Sylvia reached for a fresh towel and began to pat herself dry. 'Actually, we kind of discussed that at lunch today,' she told him.

Hating the fact that she and Julia had so recently been together, he left the bathroom and began gathering up his clothes.

'We're all of the opinion,' Sylvia said, following him, 'that's me, Pauline and Julia, that it's tied to Shannon being almost the same age now as Julia was when her father left. On a subconscious level she could be reacting to the fear that you're going to do the same thing.'

'With no justification,' he said tightly. 'I mean,

what have I ever done to make her think I'm going to abandon her, for God's sake? And if she knows what she's doing, why the hell doesn't she stop?'

'I believe she's trying, but it's not easy, and being impatient with her doesn't help.'

'Nor do holidays, surprises, constant reassurance or seventeen years of total fucking fidelity.'

Letting that pass, Sylvia sauntered over to one of the sofas and sank luxuriously into it. 'It's interesting, this call from her father,' she said, picking up an abandoned pot of cream and spreading what was left on her breasts.

'It might be if he'd said anything,' he responded, keeping his back turned as he pulled on his trousers.

'Yes, but why now, after all these years of silence, when he might have been dead for all anyone knew?'

'I guess only he knows the answer to that.'

'I suppose it was him who called,' she said, casting him a look from beneath her lashes.

He barely caught the question as he combed his hair in the mirror and wondered if it would dry by the time he got home. If it didn't, and Julia was there, he'd say he'd snatched a quick fifteen minutes at the gym.

'Do you think it was him?' Sylvia prompted.

He shrugged. 'I don't see what anyone would gain from pretending to be,' he replied, grabbing up his jacket. 'Speaking personally, I hope it was, and I hope he calls again, because God knows I'm prepared to grasp at any straw that might bring back the woman I married.'

She looked up at him as he came to stand over

her. 'And what if she doesn't exist any more?' she asked.

Since that wasn't a prospect he was prepared even to consider he dismissed it, and let his eyes drop to the join of her legs. 'That was sensational,' he murmured.

Still watching him she rotated a finger around one of her nipples, then lifted it to her lips to lick away the cream.

Taking his cue he stooped to pull first one, then the other nipple into his mouth, while she let her head fall back against the sofa to enjoy the sensations.

When finally he drew away she looked up at him with maliciously teasing eyes. 'Is it as good as this with Julia?' she murmured.

Because she'd asked him that before, he was prepared for it, and knowing it would be less than gallant to tell her that what they had didn't even come close to what he'd shared with Julia, he simply said, 'You're different.'

She smiled at that, then laughed softly.

'This has to be the last time,' he told her, looking into her eyes.

'Of course,' she responded, and continued to smile as he checked he had his wallet and house keys before stooping to kiss her goodbye.

'I'm sorry to leave like this,' he said, glancing at his watch, 'but I have to get home for Dan. I'll settle up on my way out.'

She gave him a little wave, and watched him go, only remembering after the door had closed behind him that she'd forgotten to mention the harp-shaped vase Julia had admired earlier. But it

didn't matter, she could always bring it up the next time she saw him, for as much as he might tell himself it wouldn't happen again, she knew as well as he did that it would - and because he'd seemed so delighted with her naked pussy, she decided she might not let it grow back again just yet, for she had to confess she rather liked it too.

It was early on Sunday morning. A languid sunlight was seeping through the curtains, while the street outside was quiet with just a few birds singing and an occasional car passing. Julia was lying beside Josh in their king-size bed listening to the steady rhythm of his breathing, and mulling over the chat they'd had last night about finding her father. She wasn't particularly convinced that her problems were connected to his disappearance, but she'd agreed to consider it, mainly for Josh, and because a part of her would delight in proving her mother wrong and revealing her father to be the gentle and loving man she remembered - not to mention alive.

In some ways, she could almost feel excited about the search, for she longed to show off Josh and her children, and have them know her father too. Strangely, she didn't even seem to be as afraid of seeing him again as she once had, but that was easy to say when the prospect was hardly imminent. Nor would it be for a while, because she'd soon have Hamish Kincaid's book to edit, which, considering the stature of the author, was going to require total absorption as well as every trick and nuance of her professional skills. Receiving that commission had boosted her morale no end, even

if Josh had made it happen. She had to admit this was unlikely, for her reputation as an editor had long preceded his success, so she really must stop allowing all this self-doubt to keep dragging her down.

Hearing a floorboard creak outside their door, she waited for Dan to come in, but a moment later she heard him on the stairs, obviously going up to Shannon's room at the top of the house. She smiled to herself. He'd be off to check that his sister was all right after the unholy row she'd had with her father last night for coming home twenty minutes past his eleven-thirty curfew. She'd probably hoped Josh would be in bed by then and not notice, but he'd been right there in the hall as she'd come through the door, like an avenging Victorian father, and the scene that had followed wasn't one Julia cared to recall.

Deciding to go and check on Shannon herself, she pushed the covers back and carefully slipped out of bed.

As she climbed the stairs she could hear Dan and Shannon whispering to each other, and felt tempted to stand on the landing outside to listen, just for the sheer pleasure of hearing them. However, they were almost certainly having a good moan about Josh, and though she knew it would probably make her laugh, she decided to declare herself instead. When she pushed open the door it was to find them sitting cross-legged on the bed, both in pyjamas, and half-swamped by a sea of pink and lilac duvet.

One glimpse of her mother was enough for Shannon's temper to erupt in a storm of tears. 'It's

not fair,' she sobbed into Julia's shoulder as Julia sat down beside her. 'I hate him and I'm not being grounded.'

'Ssh,' Julia said stroking her hair. 'He'll come round. You know what he's like.'

'But he treats me like a baby!' Shannon raged, drawing back to glare at her. 'I'm nearly sixteen, Mum, and you were cool about me staying out till midnight.. .'

'I didn't say that. I said whatever was OK with Dad .. .'

'And I said, even if it's midnight, and you said yes.'

Julia smiled and tucked her hair behind one ear.

'Do you want me to mend this for you?' Dan offered, reaching over to pick up the bracelet that had got broken in last night's tussle.

'Yes, please,' Shannon said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

For a moment or two she and Julia sat watching his clumsy fingers trying to work the beads, then turning an anxious gaze on her mother, Shannon said, 'I'm never going to have a boyfriend, Mum. He keeps me prisoner and everyone knows I'm like, not allowed to do anything that's even remotely out there.'

Wondering how many more times they were going to have this conversation before the big event finally happened, Julia said, 'Eleven thirty was late enough, darling.'

'But everyone else was allowed out till midnight, and even later.'

'He's only strict because he loves you and doesn't want anything bad to happen to you.'

Though seeming slightly pacified by this, a moment later Shannon was saying, 'Do you think there's something wrong with me, Mum? No-one ever fancies me. I think there's something wrong with me.'

'There's not, is there Mum?' Dan piped up. 'Ben James in my class thinks she's really fit. He wants me to get a photo of her.'

'Don't you dare!' Shannon snapped angrily. 'He's a right minger - and he's only eleven.'

Dan's hurt eyes moved to Julia.

Touching his cheek with her fingers, Julia kept an arm round Shannon as she said, 'Don't bite his head off, he was only trying to be kind.'

'Sorry,' Shannon said grudgingly.

'That's all right,' Dan said happily.

Julia tilted Shannon's chin up and looked down at her tear-ravaged face. 'It's not that no-one's interested in you,' she said gently, 'it's that you're not interested in them. Be honest now, there's no- one you really fancy, is there?'

In the end Shannon had to admit it.

'You wait till that happens,' Julia warned. 'You might be wishing you were back where you are now.'

'It won't happen, because I'm ugly, and fat and I've got spots .. .'

'You're beautiful,' Julia corrected, feeling for the teenage torment that managed to get everything out of proportion, or just plain wrong. 'Maybe too beautiful, which is why Dad worries. He doesn't want you to be hurt.'

'But why does being beautiful mean I have to be hurt?' Shannon cried in frustration.

'I'll be your boyfriend,' Dan offered.

'Don't be stupid.'

Dan grinned. 'I don't want to be anyway, because you're ugly and fat and you've got spots .. .'

'That's enough now,' Julia interrupted, as Shannon jumped on him with a pillow, trying to stifle him.

As he came up for air Shannon caught him in a friendly headlock.

'I think she should be allowed to do whatever she likes,' Dan informed his mother.

'I'm sure you do,' Julia replied.

Letting him go, Shannon turned to sit comfortably facing her mother. 'How old were you when you had your first boyfriend?' she asked,

'Oh, let me see,' Julia said, thinking. 'I must have been about twenty-eight.'

Shannon bubbled with laughter and slapped her hand. 'Seriously,' she insisted.

'OK, probably about your age,' Julia confessed.