The Millionaire Cowboy's Secret (9 page)

Was that an omen of how their dinner later would go? Heck, she hoped not.

Once she reached the camper, she opened the door and Talia nearly knocked her backward off the steps. Her enthusiastic greeting never wavered. Skylar buried her hands in her dog’s fur, cuddling her and enjoying the doggy kisses that were Talia’s way of showing affection.

“Did you miss me, girl?” Snapping on the expandable lead, Skylar took Talia out for a brief walk before taking her back inside and feeding her. While her dog ate, Skylar sat down at the small dinette table and reviewed her digital photos.

When she got to the last two—the ones she’d taken of Matt—she paused. Though he’d apparently been trying to appear stern and disinterested, she’d managed to capture a look of...longing, naked in his blue eyes.

Or maybe that was her imagination.

Dragging her hand through her hair, she groaned. This particular case had completely succeeded in messing with her mind. What she didn’t understand was why.

Even as she pondered the question, she looked again at Matt Landeta’s photo and knew.

Something about him drew her as no other man had been able to since Robbie.

As she waited for the familiar surge of guilt/anguish/anger that came as soon as she thought of her husband, she let her gaze wander back to the picture of Matt.

It took her a moment to realize she’d let her thoughts about her beloved departed husband slide back into her subconscious.

Dumbfounded, she hurriedly punched the off button on her camera. Leaving it on the table, she glanced at her watch. She had about ninety minutes to get ready. Which meant she also had ninety minutes to come up with a workable plan. Because, even though she really wanted him to permit her to stay, she knew she wouldn’t be able to bring herself to beg.

Swallowing hard, she eyed herself in the distorted trailer mirror and grimaced. She shouldn’t have to try this hard to look sexy. Other women never seemed to have to work so much at it.

Maybe it was because they were, um, having sex?

Even the quick mental rebuke managed to bring her a rush of heat. Damn, she had it bad. Worse, she didn’t know how to deal with it. She’d never mixed business with pleasure. She wasn’t about to start now.

Closing her eyes, she took several deep breaths and concentrated on centering her core. This trick, taught to her by her therapist years ago, had surprisingly worked.

When she opened her eyes again, she felt better. She hadn’t brought many clothes and had two dresses to pick from.

For this, ostensibly her last night at Matt’s ranch, she chose a short halter sundress. The kaleidoscope of colors ranged from emerald-green to turquoise, and she’d been told by several of her coworkers that it set off both her hair and her eyes.

She straightened her long red hair with a flat iron and left it loose, then added blush and eye shadow to her face. Though she knew men didn’t care about jewelry, she added a slender angel pendant on a gossamer silver chain and matching earrings.

Finally, she put on her favorite pair of impossibly high heels. Luckily, they were platforms, so much easier to walk in than they looked.

Dressed and ready, she gave herself one last doubtful look in the mirror and wished she could banish the fluttering butterflies in her stomach.

Maybe she needed to look at this another way—as a job. Which was exactly what it was. She had a task to complete. After all, what was the worst that could happen? Matt could turn her down flat and send her away anyway.

Literally, she had nothing to lose.

Except maybe, she thought, swallowing hard, her self-respect.

On the way up to the main house, she tried not to think. Just put one leg in front of the other and walk, all the while attempting to appear graceful.

As she approached the back of the house, she saw Matt was already outside. Though her mouth went dry at the sight of him, she kept moving. As she got closer, she saw he’d fired up the grill.

“I’m letting it preheat,” he said, offering her an easy smile. Oddly enough, that smile did what her own stern talking-to hadn’t been able to do. Put her at ease.

Relaxing slightly, she smiled back.

“Let me pour you a glass of wine.” He had a bottle open and aerating behind him. “Is Shiraz okay?”

“Great.” Now, when she needed a silver tongue the most, she could barely articulate a thought. Of course. Even though she told herself she wasn’t planning to go through with...all of it?

Panic had her heart fluttering. It was one thing to make an objective sort of plan. It was another thing entirely to actually implement it. Especially concerning sex.

Once again, she resolved not to do anything that made her uncomfortable.

Hands trembling slightly, she accepted the glass, hoping he wouldn’t notice. “Thank you.”

“No problem.” He turned back toward his grill, fiddling with one of the knobs.

Even now, completely undecided and wondering what the hell she was doing here, she had to fight an overwhelming urge to move closer to him. Would it really be so bad making love with him? Should she?

Part of her answered
Yes.
The other, more rational part was still mired in the past and screamed
Absolutely not.
After all, how could she even think of such a thing when her husband and son were dead because she had asked them to go to the bank for her?

Noticing Matt eyeing her curiously, she gave herself a mental shake and took a sip of wine. Five years had passed since the murder. Five long years that she’d spent completely alone, except for her coworkers. Married to her job—first the police force and then the ATF—she’d kept herself closed off from human physical contact, especially the masculine kind. Her body ached to experience it again.

Shocked, she let out a small gasp.

“What’s wrong?” Matt asked, frowning in concern.

Tongue-tied, she blinked. “I was just thinking what a beautiful place you have here,” she said. “The house, the animals, the entire atmosphere. I know the barn fire was a bit of bad luck, but you are more fortunate than you realize. I mean, what more could you want?”

Something in his expression made her stop. She couldn’t blame him. She’d been babbling, after all.

“What more could I want?” he asked, his voice tight. “All of this—” he waved his hand “—the horses, the house, the land—are just possessions. I appreciate them, but people—family—matter a hell of a lot more.”

The vehemence with which he spoke the words touched her in a place she usually kept shielded—her heart.

Damn him. Again she reminded herself he was an alleged criminal, but as she stared up at him, aware she needed to respond but struck speechless, she realized one truth was not going to change.

She wanted him.

Hell.

She knew she could go around and around like this all night. Arguing the pros and the cons, like two opposing political candidates locked in a meaningless debate.

As though an invisible thread pulled her, she took a step closer. Clearly still waiting for her to speak, he arched a brow.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

She nodded and then said the first thing that came to mind—the truth. “You’re right. Family is important. More important than anything else—possessions, a job, whatever.”

Cocking his head, his expression turned speculative. “You speak with the voice of experience.”

Dangerous ground. Aware she had to keep her real life separate from her undercover one and therefore couldn’t speak of her experience, she managed to lift one shoulder in a casual shrug. “Not personally,” she lied. “But I’m a good observer of other people’s lives.”

He turned away, but not before she noticed the way his mouth tightened. Almost as if he knew she wasn’t telling the truth.

Since that wasn’t possible—after all, he knew nothing about her—she spoke again, focusing on banalities. “Do you grill a lot?” Slowly swiveling to face her again, he smiled. “Of course. I’m better with a grill than I am with an oven.”

“Not me.” Relieved to be back on solid ground, she smiled.

“How do you like your steak?” he asked. “I’ve got T-bones. They’re kind of big, but you can refrigerate your leftovers for later.”

“Medium rare,” she managed. “Can I help you with anything?”

“Nope.” He took a long pull of his wine. “I made a couple of salads and they’re in the fridge. I baked some potatoes in the microwave and wrapped them in foil. I’m keeping them warm on the grill while I cook the steaks. Just make yourself comfortable and try to relax.”

As he disappeared inside to get the steaks, she thought of how homey this was. In another life, she’d had cookouts in the backyard, only Robbie had stood at the grill, grinning as he made the perfect burger. There’d also been a young boy running, playing and laughing. Bryan. Her son.

Once again, she saw his amazingly long-lashed blue eyes, the freckles on his upturned nose. Throat aching, she remembered his butterfly kisses, the joyful way he’d yelled
I love you, Mommy!
She’d had it all back then. Everything any woman could ever want. Taken away, just like that. And she missed her family once more with a knife-sharp sense of loss.

From Matt’s words, it almost sounded as if he’d suffered a similar loss. Bringing herself up sharply, she shook her head. There she went again, trying to make him empathetic. The only thing they actually shared was this amazing chemistry. Nothing more, nothing less.

Chapter 8

I
nhaling, Skylar decided to cut herself a break. In the past, she hadn’t found it so easy to hide her sorrow. Now, though, with the familiarity of long practice, she’d managed to shove the memories aside, to be taken out and examined another day.

Whistling under his breath, Matt returned with the steaks. He placed them on the grill and seasoned them, more relaxed while performing this mindless task than she’d seen him all day. At least, since earlier when he’d been showing her his horses.

Behind him, she realized he’d set the little metal table with silverware and bright-colored plates. A container of pale blue hydrangeas served as a centerpiece.

“It’s beautiful,” she said softly. He’d certainly gone through a lot of trouble for a woman he wanted gone.

“So are you,” he replied.

Inhaling sharply, she searched his face. He gazed right back, his expression serious. She expected him to rake his eyes boldly over her, but instead he held her gaze, as though searching. She couldn’t make herself look away. Her body felt heavy and warm. Not so, her pulse.

That skipped and raced as though anticipating things she had barely even dared to dream about.

What was this? It shouldn’t be happening, couldn’t be happening, yet...here she was. With him.

The grill flared, making the steaks sizzle. The moment broken, he turned his attention back to the meat.

Damn and double damn.

Watching him, she tried to dissect what it was about him. The vitality he radiated drew her like a magnet. And she, of all people, knew better.

Restless, feeling uncomfortable in her own body, she finished the last of her wine.

“Would you like more?” he asked, smiling slightly. She felt the power of that smile like a knife in her gut.

“I can get it,” she told him and crossed behind him to reach the bottle. After she’d refilled her glass, she moved slightly, standing beside him so she could see the grill. The steaks sizzled, thick and trimmed with very little fat.

“Those look amazing.”

His grin widened. “They’re nearly ready. Why don’t you go ahead and take a seat and let me dish everything up?”

“How about I go get the salad?”

He gave her a sharp look and then nodded. “That’d be great. There are a couple of bottles of salad dressing in the fridge door. Please bring those, too.”

Smiling back, she went inside.

As it had every time she’d been inside, his beautiful house evoked so many emotions. This time, focusing on her task, she pushed them away.

Opening the refrigerator, she located the salads and the dressing and turned to carry them outside. Suddenly, the utter domestication of what she was doing hit her. It felt more than wrong. Not only was she here under false pretenses, but she was enjoying this a bit too much.

Sadly, she had to continually remind herself why she was here. What had happened to her objective professionalism?

Taking a deep breath, she pasted a smile on her face and marched outside. “Here we are.” She placed the salads on the table. He’d already put the foil-encased potatoes on their plates and was now removing the steaks from the grill.

Her steak was perfectly cooked, exactly as she liked it. They ate in a companionable silence. Again she reflected on how long it had been since she felt so comfortable around a man.

Full, she finally pushed her plate away, groaning. “Sorry, I can’t finish this. It was wonderful, but I’m done.”

“No worries.” He gestured at his empty plate. “As you can see, I didn’t have the same problem.”

“Wow,” she said, impressed. “That looks like vultures cleaned it over. You can sure put away food.”

“True. Now—” he reached across the table and covered her hand with his “—I believe you had some questions you wanted to ask me.”

Though she had to force herself not to flinch at his touch, conversely he struck a chord of longing in her. But, because of this action, she knew in that moment she would be leaving. There would be no reprieve.

Regret filled her. Not only would this mean failure at her assignment, but he appealed to her and made her senses sing. The fact that he was the first man to do so in the five long years since she had lost her husband said something. If only it had been another time, another place, a different situation.

Shuddering, she swallowed hard. Though her body ached for him, craved the fulfillment of lovemaking she knew he alone could give her, she realized she couldn’t do this. Since Robbie’s and Bryan’s deaths, she’d thrown herself into her work. She’d been willing to do anything for her job, to be the best, solve the cases and get ahead.

Except this. She’d apparently drawn the line. She wasn’t willing to do this. Not with any man, but especially not this one.

Slowly, she slid her hand out from underneath his. “You know what? I think you’re right. I have enough for the article. I’m not going to ruin this perfect night by asking a bunch of intrusive questions.”

He looked startled, then wary, as if he thought there would be a catch. This made her chuckle, the earthy sound more seductive than anything she’d managed to fake earlier.

Heaven help her, she tried to summon up her normal personality—the hard-nosed ATF agent—but she’d lived that sterile existence for far too long.

So be it.

Drumming his fingers on the table, he eyed her while she took another sip of wine. “What made you change your mind?” he asked.

Somehow she knew his casual tone was deliberate. She could sense the intense speculation lurking behind his smile.

“This.” She waved her hand around his perfect patio, at the perfect garden beyond. Perfect meal, perfect man. Perfect, perfect, perfect.

Too good to be true. Or real. But that didn’t stop any of it from sabotaging her still-fragile heart.

“This was a lovely meal. Thank you.” Abruptly pushing back her chair, she stood. “I need to get everything packed so I can get on the road. I hope it’s all right if I leave first thing in the morning?”

He searched her face. “Yes.” The smallest hesitation. Then “Please. Stay a little while longer tonight.”

She froze, realizing she still wasn’t immune to him. Something in that plea, in the harshness of his tone, the vulnerability lurking behind the lopsided smile...

With a small smile, she let herself drop back into her seat. For the first time she wondered if she would regret this, running away like a scared little girl rather than staying like the brave woman she knew she was.

“You wanted to have a drink with me.”

She indicated her empty wineglass. “And so we did.”

“We still have half a bottle to empty.” Without waiting for her to reply, he refilled both their glasses. “Please. Sit with me and enjoy the night.”

Pleased, she raised her glass and took a tiny sip. “Maybe I’ll ask you a few of those questions after all.”

His stare was frankly appraising. “Go right ahead. I can’t promise I’ll answer them, but why not give it a shot?”

So she did. The next hour flew by. They killed the bottle of wine, and when he went to get a second, she shook her head. “I’m not much of a drinker,” she said, feeling pleasantly warm. Despite his earlier warning, he’d answered all of her questions, which meant they’d probably been too simple and banal.

Oh, well, they’d served their purpose.

What really bothered her, if she admitted the truth to herself, was that Matt hadn’t made a single move toward her, other than the brief touch of her hand. Had all that angst been for nothing?

“Did you enjoy your visit?” he asked, his voice mellow.

“I did,” she answered honestly. And then, because she had to give it one more try, she continued, “Except for one thing. There’s one regret I have about my time here,” she told him, leaning back in her chair, letting him know she was replete and satisfied with good food and the excellent company. Even though inside, she still felt edgy and on guard. Always on guard.

“A regret? What’s that?” He sounded so wary she smiled. He was beautiful and sexy and sensual and she wanted him, though she shouldn’t. None of that could matter. Too late, she’d come to her senses and could focus on what she’d come here to do. Only, her time was up.

“I wanted to go riding. Those horses of yours are so beautiful and their gait...it looks like they’re floating. I’d love to experience that myself.”

Again, she gave him the truth. Mentally crossing her fingers, she hoped this would be enough. Even if this bought her only one more day, she’d be one day closer to learning his secrets. She’d already decided she needed to ramp up her search. She hadn’t even found a single hint of his alleged ammunition stockpile.

Of course, she could do nothing if she wasn’t allowed to stay.

The smoldering look he gave her started a fire deep inside. Or, she thought dizzily, the wine might have had something to do with her imagining it.

Either way, he stared at her for a long moment before nodding as if he’d finally made up his mind.

“I tell you what. Why don’t you hang around here one more day? Your article won’t be complete unless you can write about the experience of riding one of my horses.”

Yay! Victory. Keeping all hints of triumph out of her smile, she pushed to her feet and thanked him. “I’m going to call it a night,” she said, holding out her hand.

He took it, but instead of shaking it, he pulled her to him, so close that her breath caught in her chest.

“Earlier, when...”

She groaned, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

“Don’t be sorry.”

Heaven help her, but she couldn’t force herself to move away. “Matt, I—”

Before she could give voice to her doubts and find more excuses, he kissed her. Slanted his mouth over hers and gave her a toe-curling, insides-melting,
let’s make love right here, right now
kiss. Again.

Stunned, shocked and more aroused than she’d been the last time they’d locked lips, she stood as still as a statue. At first.

Then, as he brought his other arm up and snuggled her up against him, breasts to rock-hard, manly chest, she felt the resistance go out of her like a big sigh.

“It’s only a kiss,” he murmured against her mouth before taking her lips again. Or at least she thought he said that—it might have only been her inner voice talking.

The kiss went on and on, deepening until her entire body felt electric with want and need and foolish, dangerous desire. He shifted, letting her feel his arousal large against her, and her traitorous body responded with a squeeze.

She wanted him—right now. Part of her wanted to give in, to go with the moment. But...

And there was always that
but
...held back, held in reserve.

Regretfully, she broke away. “Whew,” she managed, praying she sounded breathlessly lighthearted rather than hopelessly stunned. “That was quite a kiss, Matt.”

Now would have been when he would say something falsely charming and trite like “There’s more where that came from,” she supposed.

Instead he said nothing, only stood staring at her, his chest rising and falling with his own breath, those damnably beautiful eyes of his hidden in shadows.

For that, she was thankful. Mumbling something that she hoped sounded like an apology, she turned and hurried away into the darkness. Retreating, yes. Something she rarely did but knew she’d have to do now, or she’d have major regrets.

Her mouth felt swollen from his kiss. She stumbled, moving too fast in the dark, and slowed her pace. Though she didn’t know how she knew, Matt wouldn’t come after her. He wasn’t the type to force himself on anyone.

Wasn’t the type? Reaching her trailer, she pulled on the door handle and swung herself up the steps and inside. Turning the lock, she crossed the few feet to the sofa and dropped like a rock. Talia immediately came and jumped up next to her.

Snuggling with her dog, she tried to think. What the hell had just happened? Once again she touched her mouth, remembering the kiss and the heat....

* * *

As Matt watched Skylar stumble away, he didn’t know what to think. She’d given hint after hint that she’d be open to exploring other possibilities. And, even though he knew this was because she’d needed a reason for him to let her keep hanging around, he hadn’t been able to banish the notion from his head.

Skylar naked, her spectacular body gleaming in the moonlight.... Despite the wine, he’d become aroused just thinking about it.

The weird thing was, he truly enjoyed her company. The time they’d spent earlier with the horses and the meal they’d just shared had made him feel they really connected. More than he’d been able to relate to any woman in a long, long time.

Which proved again that in matters of the heart he was a fool. Better to go with women like he usually did, party girls who were always ready to play.

Still, turning to gather up the remnants of their meal, he didn’t understand why Skylar had run away. The kiss they’d shared had been molten, liquid fire hinting at pleasure to come.

He shrugged, forcing his thoughts to other matters. Though he’d issued an invitation to go riding tomorrow, he seriously doubted she’d stay now. For whatever reason, the passion that had flared between them frightened her. Was it because it was unprofessional, or was the rationale more intimate and personal?

In better times, he’d have gone on a quest to learn why. Now he had other things to do.

* * *

Rising before dawn, Matt took a hot shower and made his way down to the kitchen to have his breakfast. He ate his cereal standing up, rinsed his bowl and left it in the sink with the dishes from last night.

The sky had barely begun to lighten when he saddled Saint and rode out. He loved it like this, when the entire ranch still slept and he and his horse were the only ones stirring.

He rode through the various pastures, dismounting to open and close the gate. Finally, he reached the vast back part of his ranch, where small hills dotted the landscape. He’d even found a small waterfall, picturesque enough for a picnic, though he’d never taken anyone there.

Way back, near the place where his property intersected with an obscure farm-to-market road, there were caves. Since he’d taken to storing ammunition there, he’d also taken a cue from Skylar and began carrying his own firearm. He’d also set up remote surveillance cameras with sensors that would alert him if anyone got too close.