The Mind Connection: How the Thoughts You Choose Affect Your Mood, Behavior, and Decisions (10 page)

• The way we talk to and think about ourselves affects us in every area of our lives.

• It is God’s will for you to love yourself in a healthy, balanced way.

• When you stop trying to make yourself pay for your mistakes, it is much easier to stop trying to make others pay for theirs.

• It will be much easier for you to be merciful with others once you are fully aware of how much mercy God offers to you.

• God loves you. He thinks you are wonderful, and He has filled your life with great possibilities.

• God doesn’t focus on your faults; why should you?

We do many things without thinking and that is, perhaps, one of the most dangerous things we can do. Thoughtless acts bring mental and emotional pain, and deterioration and destruction to relationships as well as many other areas. People say thoughtless things to others, causing pain and perhaps ruining their day. We do things without thinking, like saying things at inappropriate times, making impulsive purchases, making various commitments without seriously considering whether or not we can complete them. We quite often practice what I call “mindless eating,” eating without being fully aware that we are doing it. We stop to talk with a coworker who has a dish of candy on her desk, and while we are talking, we mindlessly eat three pieces of chocolate candy. We walk past a dish of cookies on a table in a furniture store of all places (this happened to me) and without thinking we take one and eat it while we are shopping!

We have many “thoughtless actions,” but this book is about learning to not only think, but also to do so purposely and correctly.

How often do you need to apologize to someone, and say something like this: “I am sorry I hurt you—I just wasn’t thinking.” Our lives would be so much better if we did form a habit of thinking before speaking or taking action. I imagine it will take a lifetime of continued discipline to ever accomplish it completely, but at least we can start moving in the right direction.

In his book
The Spiritual Man
, Watchman Nee said a lot about the dangers of a passive mind. It was from his teaching that I first began to realize that we could do our own thinking instead of just passively meditating on whatever happens to fall into our minds. Some thoughts are not necessarily good or evil; they are merely useless! We will call them gray thoughts. They come from something we noticed, or recalled, or perhaps we can find no source for them at all. There are also what I will refer to as bright thoughts and dark thoughts. The dark ones are thoughts that do damage—they are very destructive and usually negative. Thankfully, there are good thoughts that let the light into our minds and give us good feelings and positive energy.

For example, if I am riding down the highway in a car and I think,
There sure are lots of birds sitting on that electric power line
, that is just a gray thought about something I observed. However, if I am riding down the road and I think,
There is no way that God could love me after all the things I have done wrong
, that is a dark lie injected into my mind by the devil, who is hoping to prevent me from ever receiving God’s love and forgiveness. If I am riding in the same car, on the same road, and I think,
Good things are going to happen to me and through me today. God loves me and gives me His favor all day long
, that is a holy, pure, good thought that lets light into my soul.

Try to always find the good, bright thoughts!

Many Christians today don’t want to hear anything about the devil. They think it’s an unpleasant topic of conversation, but thinking like that will open the door for deception and error. The devil is alive and active on planet Earth, and we may as well be aware of him and learn how to deal with him aggressively. The basic truth is that the devil is a liar, and he uses our mind as a battlefield to do warfare with us. He is the source of dark and harmful thoughts. His goal is to prevent us from enjoying the good plan that God has for us, and he is successful if we never learn to recognize how he attacks our minds. Scripture teaches us that our mind is a battleground where a war is being fought.

We see from these verses that we are definitely in a war and that it has to do with our thought realm. This war is a spiritual
war! Thoughts cannot be seen, but we do see the results of them. Thoughts operate in the spiritual realm, and, perhaps for this reason, we fail to realize just how powerful they are. We tend to ignore what we cannot see with our eyes, and yet God’s Word teaches as much about the unseen spiritual realm as it does the seen natural realm.

The Scriptures in 2 Corinthians don’t outright say that the devil puts these thoughts in our minds, but everything evil comes from him. So it stands to reason that if the thoughts are destructive, or they are ones that are going to hinder us or steal God’s best for us, they were initiated by the devil. And there are other Scriptures we should consider that tell us plainly that Satan instigates evil thoughts.

The apostle John wrote that Satan had put the thought of betraying Jesus into the heart of Judas (see John 13:2). Ananias and his wife, Sapphira, sold a piece of property with the intention and commitment to give the money to help the destitute and poor, but they deceptively kept part of the money for themselves. Acts 5:3 says, “But Peter said, Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart that you should lie to and attempt to deceive the Holy Spirit, and should [in violation of your promise] withdraw secretly and appropriate to your own use part of the price from the sale of the land?”

In my opinion, it would do every Christian a lot of good to do a thorough and well-informed study of Scripture concerning our enemy the devil and how he works. We never need to fear him, for God has given us power and authority to deal with him, but we must not be ignorant of his wiles. Paul wrote to the Corinthians
and instructed them to forgive in order to keep Satan from getting the advantage over them, and he went on to say they were not to be ignorant of his wiles and intentions (see 2 Corinthians 2:10–11). He wanted them to be informed about how Satan operated and what to do in order to not be deceived by him.

I was a Christian for many years before I was taught anything about the devil or the fact that he attacks people in the realm of their thoughts. When I did begin to learn, the knowledge did not frighten me; it empowered me to take ownership of my thoughts and learn how to recognize where my thoughts were coming from and whether to accept or reject them.

One day, I was talking with a young man who is an active member of a large, well-known denomination. We were discussing several things about God’s Word and missions, and enjoying the conversation. But when I mentioned something about the devil trying to prevent us from doing something while on a mission field, the young man went totally silent, and I could tell that talking about the devil made him uncomfortable. I couldn’t help thinking how much it would add to his life and walk with God if he truly knew who his enemy was and how to resist him.

Some preachers and Bible teachers say nothing or very little about things like the devil, demons, and spiritual warfare. They often say, “I would rather preach on the light than the darkness.” Actually, I agree that is normally the best plan, but as teachers of God’s Word, we are responsible to produce well-informed believers who know how to recognize when the devil is at work, and how to resist him.

Instead of being “unthinking” people, we can train ourselves to think about what we are thinking about. If your mood begins to sink, or an attitude is ungodly, take an inventory of your current thoughts and you will very likely find the culprit. I enjoy knowing that I can do something about my problems, and I hope that you do also. It is exciting to me to realize that I don’t have to sit passively by and let the devil fill my mind with poisonous and destructive thoughts, but I can learn to recognize them, and by a simple act of my will, I can think about something else that will be beneficial.

This morning I spent some time looking over my calendar for the next three weeks. I saw all the commitments I had, and I discussed them with Dave. Shortly after that, I felt pressured and mildly irritated. When I stopped to think about what I was thinking about, I realized that I was looking at all I had to do in one huge lump instead of trusting God to give me His strength and ability one day at a time. God gives us grace (His power and ability) daily to do the things we need to do if we trust Him, but He doesn’t give us grace to put in the bank, so to speak. When we worry about things that haven’t taken place yet, we are on our own. God doesn’t help us with those things, because His will is that we fully live and enjoy today, while trusting Him completely for the future.

When we worry, we let our minds wander around from the past to the present to the future, and we wonder or reason about what
is going to happen to us, and we lose our peace. God intends for us to keep our minds on what we are doing. I don’t mean to say that we never take time to learn from the past or to make plans for the future. But when we do, it should be something we do purposely, and not the result of a wild mind that never focuses on anything. All these types of thoughts will pressure us, because they are not God’s will. The prophet Isaiah said that God would keep us in perfect peace when our mind is fixed on Him.

The writer of Proverbs stated that the good man would be satisfied with “[the fruit of] his ways [with the holy thoughts and actions which his heart prompts and in which he delights]” (Proverbs 14:14).

Do you want to be peaceful, guarded by God, and satisfied? Then you need to realize that it begins with the thoughts that you choose to think. Your mind is connected to every feeling you have and every action that you take.

If you give yourself over to worry and reasoning, your thoughts may sound like this:
How am I going to do everything I have to do? My life is impossible! This is more than I can handle.
Instead of worrying about the future, you could think things like:
God loves me, and He will take care of everything in my future. He will give me the strength and ability to do each thing I need to do as it comes up.
I am not merely making suggestions for you to follow, but I actually do what I am advising you to do.

Right at this particular time in my life, I am dealing with a physical issue that is not serious, but it is irritating. After six weeks of doctors and various medicines, it is still not completely gone. My thoughts want to wander and wonder, and when I allow them to do so, this is how they sound:
What if this never goes away? This is putting pressure on me and making everything else I have to do more difficult. I don’t know what to do. I am frustrated.
However, when I choose my own thoughts according to God’s promises, this is how they sound:
This is uncomfortable, but there are millions of people right now in much worse situations than this. This will pass. God will provide an answer. My health issue is not completely gone, but it is much better than it was two weeks ago. I believe that God’s healing power is working in me right now, and I am getting better and better all the time.

“Unthinking” thoughts never go in a direction that will help us. They are useless at best and tormenting at worst. When you begin making an effort to do your own thinking, you may well feel that you will never accomplish it. It might be likened to deciding to tame a wild animal. It will take time, patience, and help from God, which you receive through asking for it and leaning on Him at all times. Learning to choose your own thoughts also requires the wisdom to not condemn yourself when you are not successful. Guilt and condemnation steal your energy and they accomplish nothing. They keep you going around and around the same mountain, so to speak. However, the person who is determined and patient will inherit the promises of God.

Since our thoughts do affect the way we relate to people and the world around us, it’s helpful to learn to “be thoughtful.” Take time to think through your day before you begin it. Of course we don’t know everything a day will hold, but we all hopefully have some plan. Being thoughtful about your day on purpose is very different from worrying about it. I will use my day today as an example. I plan to write until around 1 p.m. During that time, I need quiet so I am purposely going to not get involved in other things. At 1 p.m. I am going to get dressed and do my hair and makeup and go to an appointment that I have.

I am following my own advice to do some things I enjoy in the midst of my work. I plan to be friendly with and compliment the people I come in contact with. Anytime we are out in public, we should see it as an opportunity to represent Jesus to other people. It is wise to be thoughtful, because everyone we meet is probably fighting some kind of battle. Smile at everyone, because it is a sign of acceptance, and remember that a smile is the most beautiful thing you can wear.

When I go out today, instead of merely being self-aware, I plan to be aware of other people and their needs. After my appointment, I am meeting with Dave, and I will ask him about his day and listen patiently as he tells me about his golf swing and the new thing he learned that he is sure will be “the thing” that will be the answer he has been looking for (he has been looking for forty years and has a new thing two or three times a month :)). We are going to meet two other couples for dinner. This is also an opportunity to be a blessing to them. I want to be thoughtful and interested in what they are doing in ministry instead of taking up the evening talking about myself and what I am doing.
When I am with people, I plan to make them feel important, and one of the ways I can do that is to show genuine interest in them. Earlier this morning, I found myself thinking that we would split the bill. But then I decided to do my own thinking, and I thought about the Scripture that says it is more blessed to give than to receive, so I decided we would pay for dinner, because that is another way we can be thoughtful of others.

Being thoughtful about the parts of my day I know about helps me behave the way that pleases God instead of just reacting to things out of unthinking habits. Things will happen today that I am not planning, but I intend to respond calmly to those things I had not planned. Hopefully, you can see that being thoughtful about people and events will help you in many ways.

We all want friends that are thoughtful, and the best way to have them is to be to others what we want them to be to us. I have some friends that I can truthfully say are very thoughtful people, and others who are not. We can learn to be more thoughtful by observing people who are.

This morning I received a short three-minute video by e-mail from a couple we financially support who have a wonderful ministry in Russia. They told us they pray for us before they even get out of bed in the morning, and they spoke over and over of how they appreciate our partnership with them. I was encouraged, to say the least. The man said that although he prays for us each morning, this morning when he prayed, he had the idea to go to his recording studio and make the video. How thoughtful! He had to leave his home and travel to his studio in order to record a three-minute video just for the sole purpose of encouraging me. I believe God gives all of us good ideas of ways we can bless others, but we may not hang on to the thought long enough to take action.

When good things come into your mind, keep them and ask
God if you need to take action on them. When bad things come into your mind, reject them as soon as you recognize them, because they are not going to help you or anyone else. When you have a thought about being a blessing to someone else, and that good thought is followed immediately by a bad thought discouraging you from doing the good thing, realize that the second thought is a product of the devil trying to stop you. Let’s be committed to choosing the good and resisting the evil continually, just as God instructs us in His Word (see Deuteronomy 30:19).

The best way to resist thoughtless actions that always hurt us or other people is to fill our day with being thoughtful on purpose! Mark Twain reportedly said, “Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
¹

I encourage you to start “Operation Nice,” and do things like letting someone else go in front of you in line at the grocery store, saying “please” and “thank you” all day, telling people you appreciate them, cleaning up after yourself instead of leaving a mess for someone else, and being kinder than you feel like being.