“No. Just you.”
I wasn’t sure how to feel about that. Should I be honored? I didn’t feel honored.
I glanced at Mom. “Just
us
.” Her gaze flickered to me. We had something else in common other than our looks; we were both carriers of the source. But why? Why had it chosen me? I was reckless… I was selfish… I didn’t deserve the power.
“Why?” I whispered.
“Why you?”
I nodded.
“I wondered the same thing when I was chosen over my sister.”
Mom had a sister? What else did I not know? I had a feeling there was an awful lot.
She shrugged and gazed out upon the ocean. “The universe chooses. We know little about why, but what’s been mentioned over the centuries. The only thing I do know is that it’s passed down through families. I received my powers when I turned sixteen. My mom was eighteen. But with you… you were five when I felt it … when I knew it had chosen you to be the next carrier.”
Five?So young. It explained why she’d given me to Grandma at that age. I could remember, barely, meeting my grandma for the first time. How scared I’d been.
“It won’t be forever, okay?”
Mom’s whispered promise came back to me. It hadn’t been forever, but it had been much longer than I’d expected. When I’d heard that Mom had died, I’d finally given up on the thought of a happily ever after.
“How did you know I was the next carrier?”
“I knew right away you had the ability.” She smiled as we started to walk along the shore. “I could see it in you. John,” Her smile fell. “He didn’t realize and I never told him. It was just a… knowing. A feeling.”
I understood. I’d had the same reaction at times; a shimmering of awareness that whispered through me. “Did you ever love him?”
She paused at the shore, close enough for the water to chill our toes. For a long moment she just stood there, watching a shrimp boat move across the horizon, a swarm of hungry gulls following in its wake, hoping for a snack. I wondered if she would ignore my question, or maybe she hadn’t heard me.
“Yes, I loved him,” she finally admitted. “And when I realized that he’d only married me to produce someone who would carry the source, it broke my heart.”
Her voice held no emotion and her face remained a clean slate void of feeling, but I believed her. He had broken her heart and I hated him even more for it. “He only wanted the power.”
She nodded. “He lied to us all. His father had been working for S.P.I., and even his grandfather.”
A long line of treachery. I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself. “When did you find out?”
“When Nora was a toddler, right after you’d been born.” She took off her sweatshirt and tossed it toward the dry sand, out of reach of the tide. I couldn’t imagine being a mother of a baby and toddler, only to find out everything in your life was a lie. Had she been scared? There was nothing but hard assuredness in her eyes now. Her body was lean; muscles easily visible under her tank top and shorts. But she’d been young once. Young and alone.
“It killed me, Cameron. Almost destroyed me.”
Would I be able to do the same thing… send away someone I loved in order to protect them?
“I could give up on life, or I could survive. And I realized that I had to live, for you and for Nora. It’s why I sent you away.” She lowered herself to the sand, sitting casually, as if we were going to have a picnic or something. “It was the only way to protect you, and as a parent, that is my job… to protect you no matter what. Always.”
I settled in the sand next to her, my body weak with emotion. For the first time in my life, I felt like maybe I truly had a mother; a parent who cared. Overcome, I looked away, staring at the crashing waves. The situation was unsettling; I wasn’t sure what to say or do. Perhaps my life hadn’t been exactly what I’d wanted, but I couldn’t deny that I suddenly had a family and I finally had answers.
“And Grandma?”
“John’s mother?”
I nodded.
“I wouldn’t have sent you with her unless I’d trusted her. She was tired of the life she’d been forced to live. She didn’t want the same for you. I knew she was the last place John would look. And it worked, for a while.”
Grandma had given up her husband, her son, her life, and all for me. The sudden sting of tears burned my eyes. Maybe if I’d listened to Grandma… maybe… maybe none of this would have happened and she’d be safe. But if I had listened to her, would I know Lewis? Would I have been reunited with my mom? It was a no win situation.
“You’re upset,” she said, her voice hesitant, as if she wasn’t quite sure how to proceed with me.
“Yeah.” I laughed, a harsh sound that frightened away a seagull getting close.
“About?”
I dug my fingers into the cool sand, needing to hold onto something. But the sand seeped from my palm, slipping between my fingers and falling to the beach. “It seems like no matter what I do, someone suffers.” I sniffed, angry at myself for caring. Hadn’t I sworn to no longer let my emotions rule my actions? Easier said than done.
My mom reached out, taking my hand in hers and surprising me. “You know what to do, deep down. You know who you are. You just need to believe in yourself.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m special,” I muttered, not really in the mood for a pep talk.
She let go of my hand and reached out, brushing a loose lock of hair from my face. “We are all special, we are all coursing with the energy. It’s just that some of us are better at controlling it. You were chosen, Cameron, to help those around you. The energy is there, it’s always been there. You just have to believe in yourself, and if you do, amazing things will happen.”
A small white butterfly floated by. Mom lifted her hand to the breeze. The tiny insect floated to her fingertips, resting there. “If you trust in yourself, others will trust in you. Even a tiny butterfly. If you are calm within, the world will be calm around you.”
“And how do I do that?” I asked, mesmerized by the way the butterfly trusted her.
“You find that inner peace deep within you. You connect with the world, with life. You learn who you truly are meant to be.”
I took in a deep trembling breath. She’d opened up to me, she’d told me more than I’d ever expected. She’d been honest. But would she tell me everything? The butterfly lifted and floated away.
“Tell me the truth,” I whispered. “Is grandma dead?”
My mom gazed out onto the water. For one long moment, she remained silent. The weight of that pause almost did me in. She didn’t need to say the words. Even if I hadn’t already known deep down, I felt the answer in the energy around us, the subtlest shift.
So why, when she finally replied, “Yes,” did that one word break my heart?
I felt Lewis’ presence before I saw him. A whisper of awareness that covered me like a warm blanket; an awareness that was uniquely his. My entire being reacted when he was near, as if I no longer had control. He had somehow branded my heart, seeped into my soul, and I had a feeling I would know him forever.
“How’d you find me?” I asked, glancing up at him as he settled upon the sand. He wore jeans and a gray T-shirt that hugged his lean torso. Even though we didn’t touch, I could still feel his heat; smell that scent that was only his.
He was alive and well. I didn’t dare think about what would have happened had he not survived. I didn’t want to need him; I didn’t want to need anyone. But I could admit, to myself, that I was glad he was there. I pressed my toes into the sand as I waited for his response.
“I’m not sure how I found you.”
I glanced up at him, searching for an explanation.
He shook his head, looking bemused. He’d shaved; his face smooth. “I can sense you.” Lowering his gaze, he rubbed his palm, as he usually did when something confused him. “Your mom said it’s because you healed me. We’re connected somehow. It’s why she called me… to find you.”
“Connected forever?” I asked, startled.
He shrugged. “She said it can last a day, or years. Apparently we can sense each other’s emotions, or something. She wasn’t quite sure.”
Connected to Lewis? Maybe it should have creeped me out knowing I could be connected to anyone; knowing that he could find me, sense me. It didn’t. I leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder, breathing in the scent of his aftershave. “She’s dead because of me.”
“Bull, Cameron,” he said gently. “This started long before you were born. She decided to marry your grandfather. She stayed with him, had a son, even knowing what she knew. Nora told me everything.”
I frowned; slightly annoyed he and Nora were sharing things I didn’t even know. How ridiculous to let something as pathetic as jealousy bother me at a time like this. But I couldn’t deny I was envious of the time he spent with my sister.
“Your grandma’s dead because she trusted her son when she shouldn’t have. You know she actually thought he had changed while you were living on that island? She gave up your location.”
I shook my head, wondering if he just said the words to ease my pain. Or had she really planned to hand me over? I sighed, staring out at the waves, watching the white crests topple toward the shore. More unanswered questions. But it didn’t matter now.
“She’s dead because she decided to get caught up into this craziness.”
“She didn’t really have a choice,” I said, still feeling the need to be loyal to the woman. She had raised me, after all. Yeah, my childhood hadn’t been great, but she’d kept me alive and well.
“You told me we always have a choice, and you were right.” He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer.
The air had grown cold and I gladly welcomed the warmth of his body. After Mom had admitted the truth, I’d turned around and walked away without a word. And walked. And walked. At one point I’d come to a small restaurant along the beach, stopped and eaten lunch alone. And then I’d walked some more, by the locals sunbathing, the men fishing, the children playing. I’d walked so much, up and down the beach, that my legs ached.
“I don’t feel like I have a choice now.”
“You do.” He rubbed my back in slow, easy movements. “You can stay here with your family, and learn about your abilities, or we can leave. You and I can stand up and walk away.”
How tempting to walk away with Lewis, but it wasn’t such an easy choice.
The first star of the evening winked from the sky, coming to life. Night would be here soon, no time to sit around waffling about what to do.
“Knowing you,” He glanced down at me and smiled. “You’ll pick the difficult choice.”
I returned his smile. “I can’t leave them. They’re counting on me.”
“I know.”
“But even more…” I frowned, not wanting to admit it. “They’re actually starting to feel like a family, the family I always wanted. I’ve been so alone for so long. And now…now I’m scared I’ll lose it all. I’ll lose you.”
“I’ll always be here, I promise.” He slid his finger under my chin and turned my face toward him. “We stay and fight. Fight for your family, for you, for us.” He pressed his lips to mine, sealing the promise. He hadn’t tried to force his opinion on me. He hadn’t even bothered giving me his thoughts on the subject. No, he had accepted my answer, and he had respected my choice. He would stand by my side, no matter what happened.
When he pulled back, I wasn’t quite ready for the day to end and the real work to start. I stayed pressed to his side and together we watched the sun hover on the horizon. Another day ending and another would soon begin. What would tomorrow bring?
“It will all work out, I know,” he said softly, as if reading my mind.
How different my life was now compared to last year. I’d wanted a change and I’d gotten it. But never, ever had I expected this. And it was worth it… everything… because I had a family. I had a life. I had Lewis. I pressed my face to his neck, kissing that sensitive spot. We would live in the moment, and in that moment I only wanted to be as close to him as possible.
“Will it?” I whispered. “You promise?” The sudden shift in his energy warned me something was coming. I stiffened, pulling back. It felt almost heavy, depressing. Apparently Mom was right; we could feel each other’s emotions. “What is it?”
“They’re planning to attack in seven days.”
His words surprised me and I jumped to my feet. So much for living in the moment. “My father’s coming in seven days?”
Lewis stood, unfolding his body more slowly. “Yeah. That’s what those on the inside are claiming.”
“And what does my mom think?”
He hesitated. “She agrees. Thinks it’s true.”
I felt ill. Seven days. We had seven days before it would end one way or another. I dug my toes into the cool sand, burying my feet. We had seven days together before one of us—either me or my father—would be destroyed.
“Seven days,” I whispered, watching a pelican swoop down low over the waves. And I knew the next week would be spent training, preparing. This could be the last moment I’d have alone with Lewis.
He smoothed his hands over his buzz cut. “Your mother wants to have the battle on the home base. She wants to be here, on your own turf. She thinks there will be an advantage in that.”
Maybe. Or maybe it wouldn’t matter. When it came down to it, the person who was the most powerful would be the one who would win. And my mother… she was the most powerful of all. Maybe if she and I worked together, we could defeat S.P.I. for good.
“You’ll be careful?” I whispered.
He lifted a brow. “Aren’t I always?”
“I’m serious.” I gripped his T-shirt in my hands, the material warm from his body. “No throwing yourself in front of any bullets. Promise me. If you’re injured again, I won’t be able to take it.”
“We will stay,” he said, covering my hands with his. “And we will fight together.”
I frowned. He hadn’t agreed to my promise but then I figured he wouldn’t. He brushed back my hair and pressed his lips to my forehead. A friendly kiss, too friendly. I didn’t want what could be our last alone time together to end on a friendly note.
“We should return. Your mother wants to start preparing.”
“Or…” I tightened my grip on his T-shirt and pulled him down with me to the sand. “We could just stay here and kiss.”