The Misadventures of a Playground Mother (20 page)

There was no stopping Rupert now. Penelope had created this situation and there was no escaping it – especially since we were now surrounded by masses of people who had suddenly decided they were thirsty.

I eyeballed Penelope and she glared at me.

‘And why has it cost us our marriage Penelope? Please feel free to share your news with all these lovely friends in our midst.'

Suddenly, Penelope seemed lost for words. The brass band was no longer blaring out their noise and the crowd was completely silent. Even Bridget, the headmistress, who had been freed from the stocks, could be seen scurrying over to uncover the cause of the commotion on her turf.

‘I'll tell you all why; it's because my lovely wife Penelope has gone and got pregnant with another man's baby.'

Penelope's, secret was out into the open. The onlookers straightened up their shoulders and all eyes turned towards her.

‘Man in the loosest sense of the word,' Melanie whispered to me.

The revelation was too much for BB. Not only did her jaw hit the floor, but also she dropped her plastic cup full to the brim with gin, which spilled down her front.

Bridget, the headmistress, who'd finally arrived on the scene, began to clap like a demented sea lion. She wasn't applauding the drama in any way whatsoever but hoping to disperse the crowd. Cupping her hands over her mouth, she yelled, ‘free burgers over at the barbecue in the far corner of the school field – first come, first served!'

Within seconds, the swarms of spectators who couldn't resist a freebie could be seen running faster than Olympians, barging past each other and heading towards the open firepit. The unfortunate father from Class One, who'd volunteered his services at the last minute, couldn't throw the meat on the barbecue quickly enough.

BB bent down to pick up her dropped cup, From out of nowhere, a stranger was standing next to her, and he was smiling at her self-consciously.

The man was tubby with a squashed nose; his rosy cheeks were sunburnt from the afternoon sun. He had thick wiry hair and his brown eyes were taking in the sight before him.

‘Oh my Lord, I thought it was you,' he said.

I'd never seen this man before; he wasn't someone I recognised from the playground, but he obviously seemed to know BB. It was our turn to stop and listen.

He removed an old-fashioned handkerchief from his pocket and thrust it towards BB.

Taking the hanky, she wiped the excess liquid from her spilt drink over her body and handed it back to him.

‘It's OK, you can keep it,' he smiled.

‘Do I know you?' she asked, genuinely flustered by the kindness of the mystery man.

‘Not as such but,' he fumbled in his pocket and pulled out a scrappy piece of paper. ‘Has anyone got a pen?' he enquired. Rupert reached inside his man bag, retrieved a biro and handed it over.

Forcing the pen and paper into BB's hand he said, ‘please can you sign this for me, I am a massive fan.'

‘A fan of what?' Melanie mouthed.

‘I've no idea,' I mimed back.

BB's face was one of panic, but taking the pen, she signed some illegible scribble on the paper he had given her. I questioned whether she could even write.

‘I'd recognise that peachy backside anywhere,' he winked.

Rupert began to grin and turned to the man. ‘She was particularly good in ‘Saturday Night Beaver', wasn't she?' he glinted, ushering Sue out of the circle and leading her towards of the cake stall.

‘Lovely to meet you,' Sue called back to us, but she glowered at Penelope and didn't even give BB a second glance. Sue France, in my opinion, was a very pleasant woman.

‘My favourite was ‘Gangbangs of New York'... I think you came into your own in that role. It was very challenging for you indeed.'

The cogs were turning in Melanie's mind faster than mine. However, Penelope's brain was processing all the information faster than any of us.

‘It was you; it was you on my telly screen,' Penelope declared.

Melanie and I were rooted to the spot; we were going nowhere.

BB neither confirmed nor denied she was on any telly screen, but all the jigsaw pieces were slowly slotting together.

It was her! Casting my mind back to the night of Rupert's solo ‘Strictly Come Dancing' audition, the one that took place after he and Penelope separated at New Year, it all became clear. BB was the woman paused on the television when we busted Rupert, the woman in the porn movie he had been watching.

Melanie sniggered; linking my arm through hers, we rounded up the children and we all headed home for our very own barbecue with Matt and the Farrier. Penelope was last overheard in the distance arguing with BB and the devotee of her movie career was asking them both if they would ever consider a threesome. Glancing back over my shoulder, BB was scurrying away with Penelope shouting expletives as she went. It was the best school summer fair I'd ever attended.

I
loved
the month of August, the month of no school runs, no buttering of sandwiches or washing of games kits. The long school holidays were upon us and it was pure bliss. The alarm clock was switched off from the early 6 a.m. wake-up calls. There were lazy days, late evenings, and no bedtime restrictions whatsoever.

BB and Penelope's alliance ceased after the revelation that Rupert had watched his porn movie knowing BB was playing the star role. I smiled at the memory of BB exaggerating her career at the Frisky Pensioner's funeral. Divulging the information to the man in the church that she was indeed a movie star, his quick disappearance probably saved his life; either that or he had recognised her too. Melanie's ex-partner Rob really had uncovered the real BB way back at the antenatal class, a few years back.

Melanie and I had become fast friends and so had our children. They spent the sunny days of the holidays hopping between houses. We left our back doors unlocked while they wandered between them, enjoying water fights, playing games and raiding the cupboards of delicious delights.

There was no drama, no playground politics, and I hadn't clapped eyes on the Mafia since the last day of term.

My obsession for running was still very much alive. My old worn-out trainers had been cast aside in exchange for a pair of semi-decent ones, but I was still opposed to wearing a sun visor like the brigade of mothers who trotted past me on numerous occasions. I powered my legs along the same route most days, pushing them harder and faster every time. There was only one major difference in my running regime; I had landed myself a new running partner.

Sue France, now a permanent fixture in Rupert's life, jogged alongside me on every run.

Rupert and Sue traded in the bachelor pad for a part-exchange modern semi-detached on the new estate with bedrooms for Little Jonny and Annabel if Penelope ever decided to let the children see their father again. They were happy. Rupert's love for Sue seemed sincere and genuine.

As friends, Melanie and Sue were worth their weight in gold. No expectations, no judgements, just plain old-fashioned friendship. Melanie, sticking by my side over scratch-card-gate, lost a few of her other friends – but she never batted an eyelid. Her take on the whole situation was one of positivity, why would anyone believe what Penelope was voicing if it had nothing to do with them in the first place? They didn't know me nor had they even bothered to get to know me. It was no loss to her; in fact, her eyes had been well and truly opened to the Mafia playground pettiness. I had managed to keep my dignity throughout the whole episode; I wasn't the one protesting too much, I didn't need to explain myself to anyone.

As the cork flew out of the bottle of the champagne, Melanie and the Farrier, Rupert and Sue, Matt and I clinked our glasses and raised a toast sitting around the open pit of fire in the garden one Friday night.

‘What are we toasting?' Matt asked.

‘The love of my new lady,' suggested Rupert smiling at Sue.

‘Good, honest friendship,' said Melanie winking at me.

‘That we have survived the year so far,' I grinned at Rupert.

The Farrier cleared his throat and made us all look at him.

‘I've got something worth celebrating I hope,'

‘Come on spill, you haven't told me!' responded Melanie eagerly.

We all squealed; as the Farrier flipped, open a ruby red box to reveal the most beautiful diamond any of us had ever seen. He dropped down on one knee at the side of the patio table.

‘Melanie Tate, I love you with all my heart. Not a moment, a day has ever gone by without me thinking about you, you have made my life complete. Will you do me the greatest honour of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?'

‘How romantic!' Sue mouthed at me.

All our heads turned towards Melanie. She stalled momentarily, the tears were streaming down her cheeks but the sparkle in her eyes and the beam of that smile said it all.

‘Yes, Yes, YES,' she cried. Jumping to his feet, the Farrier took the ring out of the red box and slipped it on to the fourth finger of Melanie's left hand. We all gave out a huge cheer followed by heaps of hugs, congratulations and the clinking of glasses.

‘And there's more,' the Farrier beamed.

‘More? What do you mean there's more?' Melanie questioned.

‘I've waited so long for you to come back into my life and I didn't want to wait a moment longer I know we have already talked about this a little and you have always said you are more of a pint and a pie type of a girl and not one for lavish spending but ...'

‘Come on spit it out,' we all shouted.

‘The registry office has had a cancellation and if you think it's possible they have reserved the booking for me until Monday.'

We all sat there speechless waiting in anticipation for the date to be revealed.

‘And the date?' I asked.

‘A couple of weeks on Saturday! What do you think?' He looked at Melanie.

How exciting was this!

‘How very romantic,' I was thrilled. ‘How absolutely dreamy!'

‘Can you run that past me again ... two weeks on Saturday?' Melanie gasped

Smiling at Melanie he said, ‘That will be the very one, I would like all the is dotted and the ts crossed as soon as possible, if that is OK with you?'

Melanie was gobsmacked. We were all gobsmacked.

All eyes were on her whilst we waited for her to respond.

All Melanie could manage through her tears of joy was a nod of the head.

We all let out a raucous cheer and Matt popped the cork on another bottle of champagne. Trying to keep her voice steady, Melanie blurted out, ‘Jesus Christ, I'm getting married two weeks on Saturday!'

F
or all of
us the next couple of weeks were extremely busy. Pulling together as true friends do, Sue and I spent every spare minute by Melanie's side. Melanie was truly excited; we were all excited. Melanie told us it was like a dream come true; she wasn't one for tradition and couldn't think of anything more romantic then getting hitched in the local registry office with her friends by her side.

With only one week until the big day, we shopped until we dropped – literally – the blisters on my feet were reminders of how hard we worked to pull the wedding together with very little time to do it.

The weatherman had predicted a beautiful sunny Saturday; we were relying on him to be right for once. The wedding was scheduled for 11a.m. at the town hall and once the I dos were all done and dusted we were to be frequenting the local pub for a pie and a pint.

The wedding party consisted of three couples, Matt and me, Rupert and Sue and the happy couple. The children were being babysat for the day by Sue's parents, both retired teachers. Their agenda included an afternoon at the park followed by tea at Frankie and Benny's which gave the wedding party time for ample celebrations.

Melanie had decided she wasn't going to go down the traditional route of a white wedding dress. Comfort had always been her motto and with a crisp white cotton tunic with three quarter sleeves, new skinny jeans and white doc martin boots, her wedding attire was fully complete.

Sue was in charge of the flowers and I was left in charge of the transport. Matt was best man and Rupert's job was to make sure the men were safely at the town hall for 11 o'clock sharp.

The Farrier stayed over at Rupert's the night before the wedding, even though he had never been superstitious in his life; he wasn't prepared to take any chances. He had waited so long for this day to come.

The morning of the wedding was soon upon us and I had never known a couple of weeks fly by so fast. Up at the crack of dawn, I rallied all the children together and dropped them safely in the hands of Sue's parents. Matt up and out with the larks, had been instructed to collect the freshly prepared buttonholes from the florist in town and deliver them carefully to the nervously awaiting groom who was found to be anxiously pacing up and down Rupert's living room.

Sue and I had the honour of delivering the bride-to-be on time. We were driving Melanie to the Town Hall, and ‘Bettie' my old reliable Volkswagen Beetle looked the part with a cream ribbon draped over her bonnet. Beeping outside the house, we were ready and waiting in anticipation for the first glimpse of the bride.

The front door swung open and Melanie looked breath-taking. Her dark hair was curled and pinned loosely into a bun decorated with delicate white daisies, her make-up applied to perfection with subtle au-natural colouring and the skinny jeans showed off her flawlessly toned body. Jumping out of the car to greet her, there was a lot of cooing and hugging. Sue completed the look by handing her the most elegant of bouquets. White and pink luxury roses with frosted eucalyptus sprigs were not only chic, but also perfect for the big day.

Suddenly I paused and leant against the car, I felt unexpectedly light-headed.

‘Are you OK Rach?' enquired Melanie as she touched my arm.

‘Yes, yes, it must be all the emotion; I became a little light-headed there for a moment. Don't worry, you look exquisite and your carriage awaits,' I smiled, holding open the car door whilst the beautiful bride climbed in.

‘Are we ready?'

‘Most definitely' Melanie beamed. A quick beep of Bettie's horn and a cheery wave to the onlookers that were now gathering outside their house and we were off!

Pulling Bettie up in the space directly outside the Town Hall, we spotted the Farrier leaning against the wall.

‘Oh my, doesn't he look handsome?' Melanie gushed.

‘You make the perfect couple,' Sue and I chorused.

The Farrier, spotting the gorgeous woman before him, beamed from ear to ear. His smile never faltered once, and reaching out, he grasped the hand of his beautiful wife-to-be.

‘Would you be looking for me by any chance?'' he winked. ‘You look stunning,' he whispered into Melanie's ear.

He looked so handsome in his dark blue morning suit, pale blue cravat and checked navy waistcoat; so different from the casual horse wear we had always seen him in.

She raised her gaze, ‘And you look perfect,'

‘Pass me the tissues, I'm already filling up, please God, do not let my mascara run,' Sue said with tears in her eyes.

The town hall was a beautiful old brick building with green ivy trailing all around it; baby pink clematis was entwined between the green leaves that overhung the heavy wooden door forming a striking archway of flowers.

Pushing the door open, a small silver bell tinkled above our heads which alerted the registrar of our arrival. She came scurrying towards us.

‘Ladies and Gentlemen are we ready to begin? She questioned. Matt and Rupert, looking just as handsome as the Farrier does, linked their arms into ours and we followed the registrar down the long winding corridor.

We were led through to a beautiful garden room beyond the Town Hall's mundane offices. The gigantic panes of glass revealed a breath taking view across the lake. Small canoes gently bobbed across the water with couples enjoying the sun.

Directly to the side of the glass panes was a table with six crystal champagne flutes bursting to the brim with delightful fizz. In front of the truly stunning view, there were four gorgeously decorated chairs with white linen covers and a pale blue sash set out before the antique table. The chandelier hung over our heads, glistening in the morning sun.

It was beautiful, every detail a delight, pure and simple. The room was filled with the wonderful fragrance that lingered from the vases of roses scattered around the room.

Matt and I, Rupert and Sue took our seats, already blurry eyed with emotion.

‘Wait, I nearly forgot,' the Farrier said fumbling around in his pocket, his palms now sweating from the excitement. Pulling out the most exquisite sparkling silver necklace, he reached forward fastening the clasp around Melanie's elegant neck. It was a beautiful romantic gesture and Melanie was every inch the radiant bride. Kissing the tip of her nose, he made his way to the front of the room.

Melanie appeared to glide along the aisle beside the Farrier and now they stood facing each other. The registrar smiled at the four of us.

‘Welcome everyone, to this very special day.'

She turned towards Melanie and the Farrier. ‘Shall we begin?'

Overwhelmed with emotion, the Farrier leant forward and wiped a tear that was trickling down Melanie's face, a very touching moment. I too had a lump in my throat and was blinking back the tears; they looked so perfect standing there. It was so lovely watching my new friends begin the next chapter of their lives together.

‘Do you take John Richard Fletcher-Parker to be your lawfully wedded husband?' the registrar asked.

‘So that's his name?' Sue whispered.

‘I never knew it either, we just called him the Farrier, but he looks like a John; Melanie and John has a lovely ring to it!' I replied softly.

Once the wedding vows were exchanged, there wasn't a dry eye in the room. We could barely wait for the registrar to announce them man and wife. Then as the words were spoken, John Fletcher-Parker, on cue, gathered Melanie into his arms for a long, passionate kiss and the four of us watching, let out whoops of delight.

The registrar opened a glass door, which led us out on to a small wooden decking overlooking the pretty lake. We raised our glasses of champagne to toast to the happy couple. ‘To Melanie and John,' Matt announced.

‘To Melanie and John,' we all chorused.