The Moment Keeper (19 page)

“Sorry,” Olivia says. “I should have listened.”

Tom puts ointment on the burn and covers it with gauze. His voice is laced with anger and disappointment. “You know, Lib. Sometimes parents do know what they’re talking about.”

He points with his head to her neck. “When you get that?”

Olivia feels for Cole’s class ring dangling on a silver chain around her neck. “Last night.”

“How serious are you guys, anyway?” Tom asks.

Olivia’s face turns red. “Dad.”

“Don’t Dad me. I was young once, too, you know. Look, Lib, you’ll always be my little girl. Even when you’re ninety. I want what’s best for you. I like Cole. He has a good head on his shoulders. He’s a hard worker. But he’s heading into his senior year of high school and then has college. You still have a couple of years before college. Just don’t get too serious too soon. You have your whole lives ahead of you.”

He shakes his head and looks at Olivia’s bandaged leg. “And damn it, no more motorcycle.”

I remember Grandma having the same conversation with me about Bryan. Not the motorcycle part; the getting serious too soon part.

“You like that boy, don’t you? A lot,” Grandma said.

I nodded.

“Well, don’t like him too much too soon. You have a couple of years of high school yet and I’m hoping you go to college.”

“But, Gram,” I said, “we can’t afford college.”

“I did some checking and you’ll get a lot of financial aid because we don’t have much money. For once, being poor counts for something. As long as you have the grades, you shouldn’t have a problem. Course, you’ll have to work part time during school, but the finance man at the college told me that there are jobs on campus. Like in the library or cafeteria.”

“I can’t believe you’re already checking on college stuff.”

“Never too early for that, Sarah. It’ll be here before you know it. I want to make sure that you have the means to go if it’s what you choose to do.”

“What if I don’t want to go to college?”

“You’ve seen the kind of life we have, barely scraping by, living from paycheck to paycheck. I thought you wanted better than that.”

“I do.”

“Well, education is what will get you there. Sitting around wishing for it won’t make it happen. Buying a lottery ticket and hoping to win won’t make it happen. Not that I haven’t tried that. Hard work will make it happen, and I expect you to work hard. Don’t let me down, Sarah. Don’t let me down like your dad did.”

“First, Matt wasn’t my dad. He provided the sperm that made me. That’s it. So don’t ever compare me to him. And, Gram, you got to know that I would never let you down on purpose. I love you. You’ve been wonderful to me all of these years. If it weren’t for you, I would have ended up being raised in a stranger’s home. So I’ll try. I’ll really try to do the best I can do to make you proud of me.”

“That’s all I’ve ever asked for,” Grandma said. “Your best.”

“So was your dad pissed when he saw your leg?” Cole asks.

“Very.”

“He probably hates me.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m the one who didn’t listen. I’m the one who touched the stupid hot muffler with my stupid leg. It’s not like you made me do it.”

“True, but I coaxed you into going on the cycle ride, knowing that your parents told you my cycle was off limits. I should have at least insisted that you wear long pants.”

Olivia changes the subject. “Coming to the picnic tomorrow?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

Olivia’s parents are having their annual Labor Day shindig and invited Cole’s family.

“I told you my parents can’t come, right? They’re going away for their twenty-fifth anniversary.”

“How romantic.”

“Yeah. Dad surprised Mom. She doesn’t know where he’s taking her.”

“Do you?”

“No, he wouldn’t even tell me. All I know is that plane tickets are involved.”

“I’ll miss seeing you tonight,” Olivia says.

“I’ll miss you more. Wish you were hanging out with me instead of Lexie.”

“I wish your stupid ass friend Tallen hadn’t broken up with her and made her so miserable. What gives anyhow?”

“He’s stupid — what can I say? Lexie is drop-dead gorgeous and lots of fun. Just between you and me, I think he really likes her – too much. It scares him because he’s never liked anyone as much as he likes Lexie.”

“He has a great way of showing it.”

“He can’t handle it so he’s running,” Cole says. “That chick he works with who’s always coming on to him just made it easier.”

“He’s an asshole,” Olivia says. “Lexie even went on the pill for him. I don’t blame her for giving up on guys.”

“You’d never give up on me, would you?” Cole asks.

“You’d never drop me, would you?”

“Not in a million years. I’m crazy about you.”

“Even though we’ve never done it like Lexie and Tallen?”

“Lib, why do you get hung up on that so much?”

“Because I know you’ve been with other girls.”

“But never with anyone like you. It will happen when the time is right. No pressure. No, ‘We gotta do it because everyone else is.’ I want it to be perfect for you.”

Few things in life are perfect. I thought that Bryan was.

Turned out he vanished one day and I never heard from him again. It was as if he were a figment of my imagination, as if he never really existed. And yet I know that he did. The baby growing inside of me was proof of that. I knew that the night things got out of hand too fast and the condom sat unopened on my nightstand something would happen.

Grandma kept asking me where Bryan was. Why wasn’t he coming around anymore or calling. Finally, I told Grandma that I didn’t know. For the first time in a long time, Grandma held me as I cried in her arms.

I realized how little I actually knew about Bryan, how secretive he was about the part of his life that didn’t include me. I didn’t know where he lived. I didn’t know where he worked. I didn’t know where his parents lived, or if they were even alive. Come to think of it, I’m not sure if Bryan grew up here or moved here. Every time I’d ask these kinds of things, he’d change the subject or grow quiet. So after a while, I just stopped. It was better that way. And what did it matter anyway? The only thing that mattered was the present and our future. Of course, that’s when I thought we had a future. That was before he left without even saying goodbye.

“Libby,” Elizabeth calls. “Lexie’s here.”

Lexie finds Olivia in her room. She’s sitting on her bed reading the newest issue of Teen Entertainment. Daisy is curled up beside her.

“Any good gossip?” Lexie asks.

Olivia looks up from the magazine. “Just the usual. I’m more interested in talking about you.
How are you?”

Lexie looks at the door. “Mind if I close it?”

“Oh, sure.”

As soon as Lexie closes the door she bursts into tears. She plops on the bed beside Olivia. “I hate him. I so hate him.” She picks up the round brown throw pillow and punches it. “Asshole. Asshole. Asshole.”

Daisy’s ears perk up and she leaps off the bed and jumps up on the nearby couch, stretching out and resting her furry face on her paws.

Olivia hugs Lexie.

“What did Cole say? Anything?”

“He thinks Tallen likes you a lot. Like too much. And he’s scared.”

“Scared? Of what? It’s not like I’m a vampire or some kind of evil person.”

“I guess scared of caring too much.”

“Come on, Lib. Really? Really? He said that? Sounds ridiculous. If he cared too much he wouldn’t have done what he did.”

Olivia hands Lexie the box of tissues sitting on the nightstand by her bed. “I don’t know. It could make sense. From what Cole’s told me, Tallen’s never had a serious girlfriend. Never wanted a serious girlfriend. Then he met you and everything changed.”

“Well, it changed for me, too. Before I moved here, I had lots of boyfriends. But Tallen was different. I know he had to feel it, too. And yet he breaks up with me. Tells me he doesn’t love me anymore. Wouldn’t even look me in the face when he said it. And then, as soon as he can, he changes his status on Facebook. Like he couldn’t do it fast enough.”

“Well, at least he didn’t break up with you via text message like Molly’s boyfriend did. He was an even bigger jerk.”

“True,” Lexie says. “But all guys are jerks. Who needs them anyway? You have the last non-jerkish guy. All the others suck big time.”

“You’ll get over him,” Olivia says. “Mom and Dad say things always happen for a reason.”

“Please, Lib. Don’t give me that for-a-reason crap right now. That’s what my mom said. Blah. Blah. Blah. It’s all blah.”

“So what do you want to do? Movies? Go to the mall? Eat a gallon of ice cream?”

“I guess mall. Dad let me take the new Benz and gave me his credit card and told me to have some fun. So let’s go shopping. It’s nice enough to put the top down. Screw guys forever!”

“Except Cole,” Olivia says.

Lexie looks at her. “Except Cole. But he’s the only exception.”

Lexie pulls into the mall parking lot and parks near the entrance to the food court. As they walk toward the doors Olivia spots Tallen’s car. She’s hoping Lexie doesn’t see it so she tries to distract her by talking about her upcoming dance recital.

Lexie stops and points. “There’s Tallen’s car. That freakin’ jerk’s here.”

“Wanna leave?”

“Are you kidding me? He’s definitely not going to stop me from shopping. The mall is my
territory, not his. His is the…the…the stupid basketball court.”

Olivia laughs to herself. Amused by how Lexie divides up public property with Cole.

“And another thing, the movie theater is mine. He never wanted to go to the movies until I started bugging him to go. So he can stay away from that, too.”

The girls walk into the mall and head for Lexie’s favorite store to look at the new fall arrivals.

They get lost in a forest of racks, going from one to another scavenging for that special something. Lexie holds up a black miniskirt and leopard-print shirt. “What do you think?”

Olivia walks around the rack so she’s on the same side as Lexie. “Like it.”

“Think it’s sexy?”

“Definitely. Probably won’t be able to wear it to school. Mini’s too short.”

“Stupid school dress codes,” Lexie says. “Did I tell you I got sent home once because I had holes in my jeans? The jeans came that way. They were made that way, but Mr. Jerk-ass Principal didn’t care. ‘Rules are rules. Next time buy jeans with no holes,’ he said. The guy has no fashion sense! Ever see his ties? They look ancient. Like something my dad would have worn thirty years ago.”

“I think I’m ready to try these on,” Olivia says.

“I’ll be right behind you.”

Olivia goes to the dressing room and sees Tallen walking with a girl she’s never seen before. She’s pissed that Tallen’s in this store. He knows it’s Lexie’s favorite. If Lexie sees him she’s going to go berserk. After all, in the dividing up of public property, this is definitely Lexie’s territory. She turns to go back to get Lexie but she’s too late. Lexie sees Tallen and the girl. They’re laughing and headed in Lexie’s direction.

Lexie walks up to them and before Tallen and the girl can say anything Lexie punches Tallen in the face. “This is my store, creep. So leave.”

Tallen rubs his Brillo stubble jaw and the girl’s brown eyes bug out. “Is this your crazy ex?”

“Yeah,” Tallen says.

“Oh, I’m crazy all right. Crazy for ever liking this creep. Enjoy the crumbs I’ve left behind. It’s probably all you’ll get.”

Lexie makes a beeline for the dressing room and Olivia follows her. As soon as they get inside a dressing room, Lexie melts into a puddle of tears. “I hate him,” she says.

Hate is a strong word. I know how Lexie feels. To love someone so much and have them do the unthinkable. For me, Bryan vanishing from my life was like that. It was worse than breaking up. At least if he had broken up with me, I’d maybe still see him at the grocery store. But he cut off all contact with me. Whenever I had to work, I would look for him. Thinking that he might just pop in some day, tell me he was sorry and what the hell he had been up to all this time. But that never happened. The worst part is the not knowing. The not knowing what happened to him. Where he went. Why he left. So many questions that will
never be answered. Not now, anyway. I’m dead. No chance of seeing him now. No chance of him ever knowing that I was carrying his child, the result of that unopened condom.

Chapter 30

Elizabeth knocks on Olivia’s bedroom door.

“Come in.”

Olivia notices her mom’s red, blotchy face. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Lib. I got some bad news today.” Elizabeth sits on the edge of Olivia’s bed.

Olivia gets up from her desk chair and walks over to her mom. I can feel Olivia’s heart racing. She’s scared. She’s never seen her mom like this.

“What is it?” she asks.

Elizabeth pats the bed beside her. “Sit down, sweetie.”

Olivia sits down.

“I have breast cancer.”

Tears well up in Olivia’s eyes. “Just like Grandma?”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth says. “But you see how great Grandma’s been. It’s been twenty years since she had her mastectomy.”

“Is that what’s going to happen?”

Elizabeth nods. “I have cancer in my right breast. The surgeon will remove the breast and then I’ll have chemo, just like Grandma. And, like Grandma, I’ll be fine. I’ll be tired and need lots of rest but Dad will see that you get to your dance classes.”

“Oh, Mom,” Olivia says. “I’m not worried about my dance classes. I’m worried about you.”

“I know that, sweetie. But I’ll be fine. You can’t stop living your life just because I’m going through a difficult time. Bad things happen all of the time. You need to deal with the bad thing as best you can and move on. There are no guarantees in life. We do the best that we can.”

Olivia hugs her mother tighter than she’s ever hugged her. “Will I get breast cancer?”

“I don’t know. I hope not.”

“But if you and Grandma got…” Olivia catches herself. “Sometimes I forget,” she says.

“You might be adopted, sweetheart, but you are my daughter,” Elizabeth says. “You always have been and you always will be. No matter what. Yes, I did not give birth to you. But having a baby doesn’t make someone a mother. I wish I knew more about your biological mother. I wish I knew her health history, but I don’t. It’s true, breast cancer runs in my family but it might not run in your biological mother’s family. And even if it did, that doesn’t mean you’ll get it.”