The Mortal Fringe (7 page)

"So, everything's great, is
it?"

Jay is standing on the door. He puts a
cup of coffee on his table and another one on mine. The joy of not
seeing him the moment I woke up has just vanished. Yesterday I
would have told him about the tickets. He loves football, or at
least he told me so, but that's none of my business
anymore.

"Fuck off Jay."

I take the book again and continue
reading where I left off. I am not particularly interested in the
subject anymore, now that I know that all the nonsense written in
here is true, but it's a way to avoid Jay's eyes on me.

I go back the part of the
Immortals.

It is believed that those who bear
the Immortal mark will become Gods in their millennia. The ultimate
transformation requires the willing surrendering of a human soul,
not out of fear, or force, but real love. The soul of the mortal
and the soul of the Immortal shall bond together in that night and
so, who was immortal, will become a God.

The one thing that I take out from
this is that as long as I don't fall for Elizabeth, I will be fine.
The problem is self-evident. Never, I will never make the right
choice in my life.

"Why are you still reading
that?"

"Because I want to" I don't even look
at him, why would I?

"I know, but you can ask me whatever
you want, you don't need to read it" That's true, last night they
said that I could ask whatever I wanted.

I put the book down and sit back, Jay
is still standing in front of the door.

"Are you an Immortal too?"

"No, I'm not. Not exactly"

"A God, already?"

"Neither", he smiles "I'm a Keeper.
Which I can see you haven't read about. "

No, I haven't. I don't pay much
attention to the tone in which he said that, it was more like a
joke and I am so not buying it, not now. I have two options, I can
both shut up and go on reading or I keep asking him. Since he has
been helping me out to be more open to people, I go for the second
option, was all that about this? So I wouldn't be shy to ask him
anything now? Probably.

"So you can die" It sounds as if it
was something I deeply desire. That's the only thing I can think
of. I want to apologize immediately, but I can't, I already said it
and I can't deny that for one second, I meant it.

"I will if I have to. You see, the
Keeper's only purpose is to make sure that Catalyst and the
Immortal bond on the millennia. Usually, Keepers don't have to
stick around for much long, but Constance wanted me to keep an eye
on you from day one."

Is he trying to make me feel special?
Because it is not working. It seems that mine is a very singular
case, and I'd like to know why. But I don't have to ask, Jay has
seen the question in my eyes and before I can make up the words he
is already answering it.

"Elizabeth is a very special Immortal,
plus she is the only female one that Constance has ever had the
honor of leading. Immortal women are said to be extremely powerful
in the last stages of their life, so it is imperative that you are
safe. She can't afford to lose your soul." I can't believe they
speak up their minds that easily, it's my life we are talking about
and I feel like if he could trade it for a Star Wars poster.
"Sorry, I should not have said that."

I'm done with it for now, I have to
put all my thoughts together and this is not the place for that.
You know you are in trouble when you feel trapped in your own room,
and that's exactly how I feel. I have the feeling that I will feel
trapped anywhere I go from now on.

I stand up and put on a clean t-shirt,
and a minute later I'm walking down the streets of Barcelona, this
time on my own. Or so I think, because I have a shadow watching my
step. Jay is walking right behind me, I know it. I can sense him. I
really don't care. I should have taken my headphones, that way I
could stop the thinking. I don't know which direction I'm going, I
just walk, I know the city well enough to make my way back from
almost anywhere so I don't care where I end up.

It's almost night when I get
somewhere I know, it's one of my favorite places in the city,
Gaudi's masterpiece,
The Park Güell.
The doors are still open. I can't see Jay
behind me so I sneak in and I lose myself in the architecture of
the park. Every time I come here I can't stop looking up to the
ceiling of the great colonnade. I can see some people taking
pictures of themselves, I wish I could be so naive and do that too,
if only they knew in what sort of world they live in. I go up to
the great balcony, I have never seen it so empty in the time that
I've been here. The sight of Barcelona is overwhelming, the huge
city surrounded by the sea is the only thing between me and madness
right now. This is the only quite moment I've had since yesterday,
I can't even hear my thoughts.

It's already night when I walk out the
park, I am more relaxed and I think I can see things more clearly,
at least as clear as one can see all that's happening around me.
Again, I see people with shopping bags, having something to eat on
the streets. Groups of friends, couples, lovely married grannies
holding their purses as if they contain the secret to eternal life,
and here I am alone, with nothing more to do than thinking about
what I should do until the day of my sudden and premature
death.

This is not a dream anymore, every day
that goes by I am closer to that moment, the bad thing is that I am
fully aware of it, and I even know who the hangman will
be.

CHAPTER 12

When I wake up the next morning I
realize that I can remember parts of my dream. It had something to
do with a field; it was rainy and everything but Elizabeth's eyes
was as blurry as it could be. I don't have much to deal with but
there must be a reason for me to start retaining some parts of the
dream. I look to my left, Jay is sleeping, or at least he pretends
to. I can't be sure, but I think he has been looking over me during
the whole night. Just the feeling of spending five more minutes in
here kills me. I put some clothes on and walk out the door and go
straight to the check-in desk, and as if the woman working there
was waiting for me, she stands up, takes of her glasses and with
her childish voice asks me what I want.

"I'd like to exchange rooms, if
possible?" it seems like the wisest idea given the circumstances.
But of course, she looks at me and with that look I can read what
she would like to spit on my face It's halfway through the
semester, you stupid boy, of course you can't».

"Sorry, no more rooms" she says with a
shy use of English. The fine attempt to master the language makes
me smile. Well done, lady, I think.

As frustrated as I am, I refuse to go
back to my room so I just sit outside on the grass for some time.
There are little groups of students gathered nearby, they are
having some caffeine injections for the day. I can't believe I am
even considering doing it, let alone actually doing it, but when I
find myself standing up and walking towards them I realize that
something has really changed during this past months, and not only
the sudden existence of Gods and monsters. I have
changed.

"You mind if I sit with you?" what I
intended to say sounded much better in my mind, but I'm guessing
they didn't care much.

"Oh, hi, you are the American one,
right?" as if I was the only one in the city.

"I am, yes" I fake a friendly smile, I
am still not good at this. "How is it going?" wrong question, or at
least it seems to be. They look at me like if I killed
someone.

"Sorry, do you know that guy over
there?"

"That guy? What?" I turn slowly
because I'm terrified of what I might see. I follow the direction
of the pointing fingers, which lead to Jay, wearing nothing but his
underwear in the middle of the street. Shit. "No, I don't." I
remain seated in the same spot and I pretend I have not seen him. A
minute goes by, and another, and another, and the faces of the
people surrounding me are still as surprised as before. All of them
are looking at Jay. I will kill him, I will, I promise myself that.
I stand up and go straight to him, I take him by the arm and lead
him in.

"What the hell are you doing?" I ask
almost shouting.

"What the hell were you doing? You are
supposed to stick up with me, and obviously avoid contact with
mortals."

"Avoid contact with...?" I drag him to
our room. "Avoid contact with mortals? Are you kidding? And
besides, what's all that shit about sticking up with you? I thought
I made myself clear, I am not interested, thank you."

I have never felt as furious as now, I
could crash something just with looking at it. Jay is fixing his
eyes on me. Whatever move I make, he follows it, he obviously is
not going to just leave the subject.

"What the hell are you doing half
naked in the street anyway?"

"What? I wake up, you are not here… I
went out looking for you" the funny thing is that he is actually
convinced that this is normal behavior. If I think about it, it's
actually funny.

"Look, you are not my mother, and you
will obviously not change my mind on the subject, so please, drop
it."

He says nothing, and I thank him for
that. I lie on my bed again and cover my forehead with my hands.
Again, that feeling of —this can't be happening to me— is coming
back, but it is so cliché that I try to avoid it in a matter of
seconds. Hell, this thing is going to kill me.

"Feeling better?” he asks as if he was
a psychologist and actually expected my emotional
explosion.

"Of course not, how on earth am I
supposed to feel better?"

"I don't know, just by doing
so?"

"It's not like if I had a feeling
switch button" which would actually come in real handy.

I put my arms on the bed, I breathe
slowly and I try to appreciate the fact that he keeps trying to
help. But the ultimate reason for that is that he wants me alive on
the day that Elizabeth needs to take my soul, and that is not
something I am ready to accept.

Jay comes near my bed and sits down.
He looks at me and with a —very real—friendly voice tries to
comfort me.

"Look, why don't we go out, like
friends. And we can talk about all this."

"I thought you said "like friends",
talking about this is business for you", I answer without looking
at him.

"Well, I can't hide the truth. The
offer is on. You decide." he stands up, gets into the bathroom and
within seconds I can hear the water running.

I spend the next seconds in the same
position, then I pick up some old notebook I carried with me from
home in which I used to write ideas for future novels, and I write
the first thoughts that pop up, which turn out to be the first
lines I've written here in months.

After a promising start in the
"Alex Stills American Dream", I must confess I have the greatest
story that could have ever crossed my mind. The problem is that I
will not live long enough to tell it, and that sucks. It turns out
that all that crazy stuff that we tell to children about fantasy is
not crazy stuff at all, and I have learned that in the best way
possible. Experience, it all comes down to experience. Moral of the
story: Don't go anywhere, some want-to-be-Gods might choose your
soul to fulfill whatever their life's goal is.

This is the most ridiculous journal
entry that I have ever written, and yes, I want to acknowledge it,
so it never happens again.

This is Alex, still
alive.

I still don't know why I have accepted
Jay's proposal, but the thing is that I am sitting in a bar with
him and the loud music helps me not to concentrate on what I'm
thinking.

He has been friendly enough during all
afternoon, as always, which is quite bothering. I hate it when
people pretend that something has not happened. The cocktail in
front of me remains intact, I don't feel like drinking, let alone
being drunk in a couple of minutes. Jay, of course, doesn't seem to
care much about a clearly possible drinking problem, since he is
already on his third round and it doesn't look like his
last.

He stands up and goes to the table
right next to us, there are a couple of girls, one of them I'm
pretty sure lives in our residence. Jay talks to them both and in a
matter of minutes the three of them are on the dance floor. I am
just sitting here, and I cannot help but wonder, how the hell does
he do it? I don't think I could be like that if I had to deal with
everything that he has to put up with. The thought leaves as
quickly as it appeared, obviously, I am just a simple mortal, as he
would probably say.

While he is out dancing I have time to
think about this all over again, I am not convinced about what is
more difficult to get used to, dying, or the reason for it. Neither
of them are easy to focus on right now. I let my mind go with the
music, and before the next song starts, the thoughts are back,
obviously it is not going to be that easy. Ten minutes later, Jay
is back on the table, he drinks a little bit more and puts the
glass to a side. He sits back and looks at me.